Posted on 07/15/2012 6:20:51 AM PDT by marktwain
I am not allowed to have a gun.
And that’s the truth. Literally, not allowed. My wife won’t let me have a gun. Not sure I want a gun, but it doesn’t matter. Not allowed. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’d sooner be granted my lifelong wish to frolic in a chocolate pudding bath with Jennifer Love Hewitt before my lovely wife would let me wrap my hands around a Glock Magnum 747.
I don’t know much about guns. But I do know there’s a part of me that wants one. Not because I want to shoot it, or because I’m clinging to the second amendment (which was written when it took 15 seconds or so to reload a musket), or because I’m some gun collector who wants to own every gun ever produced.
Nope, I kinda-sorta want a gun so that if someone ever puts me or my family at risk, I can shoot them dead.
That said, even if my wife said I was allowed to own one, I still don’t know if I’d get one. Without sounding too much like a pansy, the fact remains: Guns are scary.
But I have been thinking about it lately, especially after I found out a childhood friend of mine recently become a gun owner. He has it for the same reason I would want one: To protect his family.
And while for a majority of readers out there, a friend owning a gun isn’t cause to write a column about it, trust me: Where I come from, with my background, it’s the equivalent of a lifelong NRA member deciding to purchase a nuclear weapon for protection.
At the risk of stereotyping myself and a few thousand years of one of the world’s major religions, American Jews from middle to upper middle class backgrounds don’t normally grow up with guns.
An example of the anti-gun life I grew up in: The same high school friend of mine, along with a dozen or so other buddies, decided to engage in plastic pellet gun war during our junior year in high school. This went on for weeks, at malls, at school, sneak attacks at home, wherever. It was fun. But know this: when shot with these — even at point blank range right into an unblinking eye — the risk of injury was about the same as having a wayward molecule of oxygen go up your nose.
Yet despite the non-threatening nature of these devices, we managed to upset all of our mothers with our gunplay, including one mom who was convinced we were (very literally) sniffing glue when sitting at her kitchen table decorating our faux-weapons. Yes that’s right. Decorating them. Personalizing them, really. (This little anecdote really tells you all you need to know about me, guns, my youth and Jewish mothers of a certain generation.)
Jeff is a major project, like too many American males. They were never taught to be men.
I had a bumper sticker on my old SUV. It read, “I got a Gun for my wife. Best trade I’ve ever made.” Sounds like it could work for him.
Jeff sounds like a wuss. Take his wife to the range.
After that, she will likely leave him and run away with the first redneck she meets.
My suggestion is that you arrange a situation where you and your wife can shoot guns together. I’m thinking something like a rural/farm picnic where the host brings out the .22 pistols or rifles for a little informal (but well supervised) backyard plinking. Encourage her to “try it.” I bet she softens her view.
An alternative would be to go to a public/rental range. That would probably require some clever quid pro quo arrangement, though. “Yes, honey, I will accompany you to ballroom dancing class, but you’ve got to do something I want to do . . . “
Sure the author is. He is making a choice not to have a gun because of the consequences of his decision.
Jeff’s problem was that he was “born free” but in the wrong State (NJ).
My wife does not like guns either, but I have firearms.
There are 2+ privately owned firearms per every man woman and child in the State of Texas. Some households have none, others have many. Would be perps simply do not know which ones do not.
We used to play army, cops & robbers, cowboys & indians, etc. Maybe that’s part of today’s problem - kids can’t get out their normal aggressions through play, so they do it in real life.
While I’m at it, do they still sell dolls for girls to play mommy? Or do they just practice blinging them up?
OMG am I an old fogey.
Ummm, THAT ship has sailed...
Gun rhymes with fun.
6+ posts and no one has asked WTH a “Glock Magnum 747” is. Okay, I’ll ask... ?
“Jews from middle to upper middle class backgrounds don’t normally grow up with guns.”
Shame on you. I believe the ‘thought’ to purchase your gun is a growing concern that things are not going right in this country. Reach down, grab your testicles and remind yourself your a man. Men protect their families.
If you don’t you’ll be that much easier to be marched off to a ‘re-education’ camp aka the New Obama Warsaw Ghetto.
Jeff is a prime example of what a liberal society creates with with it’s values. Totally emasculated he is a PC peasant.
He needs to grow a pair. Why is it todays male is so whipped?
747 Magnum = Supersonic Dumbass
I mean no disrespect to the faith that largely gave us western civilization but an unarmed Jew that utters the phrase “Never Again” is bluffing or he’s depending on better men to back him up.
I’m in NJ and my wife lets me have a gun. Now a motorcycle, well, that’s another story. :-)
LOL! (Thought so; was just checking...)
What a P-Whipped puke. And he whines about it in public!
Buy a weapon, if she doesn’t like it, move out.
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