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Utah manís confessional obituary owns up to life of pranks
Yahoo News ^ | 7/17/12 | Eric Pfeiffer

Posted on 07/17/2012 4:02:07 PM PDT by Nachum

Val Patterson said his life motto was "Anything for a laugh." And after the 59-year-old died of throat cancer last week, he owned up to a few humorous events from his life.

Patterson's obituary in The Salt Lake Tribune begins like many others, with a loving tribute to his wife, Mary Jane, and recollections of a life lived in full. But then things get more interesting, as Patterson notes, "Now that I have gone to my reward, I have confessions and things I should now say."

First up, the former engineer admits he never earned the advanced degree from the University of Utah that gained him entrance to his chosen professional career:

"What happened was that the day I went to pay off my college student loan at the U of U, the girl working there put my receipt into the wrong stack, and two weeks later, a PhD diploma came in the mail. I didn't even graduate, I only had about 3 years of college credit. In fact, I never did even learn what the letters 'PhD' even stood for."

(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: confessional; mans; obituary; utah
One of the funniest things I think I have ever read. :)
1 posted on 07/17/2012 4:02:12 PM PDT by Nachum
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To: Nachum

Sounds like a real jerk to me.


2 posted on 07/17/2012 4:10:46 PM PDT by glorgau
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To: Nachum
"First up, the former engineer admits he never earned the advanced degree from the University of Utah that gained him entrance to his chosen professional career..."

Great. I wonder what kind of engineer he wasn't. I hope I never need to drive across any bridges he worked on.

3 posted on 07/17/2012 4:15:02 PM PDT by Flag_This (Real presidents don't bow.)
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To: Nachum

I wonder if Obama will fess up in his obituary. He’s certainly pranked more people than this guy.


4 posted on 07/17/2012 4:23:50 PM PDT by meatloaf (Support Senate S 1863 & House Bill 1380 to eliminate oil slavery.)
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To: Nachum

Yes, it’s a funny story, but just maybe his confession would have done him more good if it was on his knees during his lifetime rather than in the paper after his death.


5 posted on 07/17/2012 4:25:30 PM PDT by mrs. a (It's a short life but a merry one...)
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To: glorgau
Sounds like a real jerk to me.

That was my first thought too and I'm glad I wasn't the first one to say it. Getting banned from Disneyland and Sea World doesn't exactly sound like a nice guy to me. Of course, he was a smoker so he probably enjoyed annoying others and not caring what they thought about him.

6 posted on 07/17/2012 4:37:28 PM PDT by OrangeHoof (Our economy won't heal until one particular black man is unemployed.)
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To: Flag_This

Great. I wonder what kind of engineer he wasn’t. I hope I never need to drive across any bridges he worked on.

Most engineers I have had to work with had degrees but lacked aptitude. If this guy had the aptitude he was probably above average.


7 posted on 07/17/2012 4:37:33 PM PDT by freedomfiter2 (Brutal acts of commission and yawning acts of omission both strengthen the hand of the devil.)
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To: Nachum
That's not a confession.

That's a victory dance for all the stuff he got away with now that nobody can do anything about it.

He may have been a lot of things, but "honest" was not one of them.

8 posted on 07/17/2012 4:38:37 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum (Government is the religion of the sociopath.)
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To: Nachum
One of the funniest things I think I have ever read.

He certainly thought so.
9 posted on 07/17/2012 4:45:37 PM PDT by kenavi (Obama doesn't hate private equity. He wants to be it with our money.)
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To: OrangeHoof
Of course, he was a smoker so he probably enjoyed annoying others and not caring what they thought about him.
***********************************************

Ya, I'm sure that is why he smoked, he just like to annoy people.

When did so many freepers lose their sense of humor?

10 posted on 07/17/2012 4:53:04 PM PDT by kara37
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To: Nachum
Patterson wraps up his final words with a somber note on how his cigarette habit deprived him of more years with his family.

Was this part of the joke?

11 posted on 07/17/2012 4:55:18 PM PDT by Drango (A liberal's compassion is limited only by the size of someone else's wallet.)
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To: Flag_This
Great. I wonder what kind of engineer he wasn't. I hope I never need to drive across any bridges he worked on.

what makes you think he wasn't a competent engineer?

12 posted on 07/17/2012 5:06:47 PM PDT by the invisib1e hand
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To: the invisib1e hand

Well there is some evidence he wasn’t strong in the professional ethics department...


13 posted on 07/17/2012 11:14:04 PM PDT by D-fendr (Deus non alligatur sacramentis sed nos alligamur.)
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To: D-fendr

Granted. Then too, he was a practical joker. That could make for some interesting bridge design.


14 posted on 07/18/2012 3:19:17 AM PDT by the invisib1e hand
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To: OrangeHoof

“Of course, he was a smoker so he probably enjoyed annoying others and not caring what they thought about him. “

I gave up those nasty cigarettes well over 20 years ago.

To this day I can’t stand being around annoying tobaccophobes.


15 posted on 07/18/2012 3:41:13 AM PDT by Nik Naym (It's not my fault... I have compulsive smartass disorder.)
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To: Nik Naym
To this day I can’t stand being around annoying tobaccophobes.

And I am not one but I have spent a good deal of time in bars and restaurants which contained both smoking and non-smoking sections and my personal experience is that smokers are less considerate of others and often act more like jerks. That's a generality, of course. Every rule has exceptions.

But I do believe that his personality and smoking addiction were not unrelated.

16 posted on 07/18/2012 8:28:37 AM PDT by OrangeHoof (Our economy won't heal until one particular black man is unemployed.)
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To: the invisib1e hand
"what makes you think he wasn't a competent engineer?"

Something about falsifying his credentials. But maybe all the work that goes into an advanced degree is just busy work after all.

17 posted on 07/18/2012 10:18:30 AM PDT by Flag_This (Real presidents don't bow.)
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To: Nachum

Patterson attended Junior and Senior High School with my DH.

This confession is really not that much of a shock.


18 posted on 07/18/2012 10:29:02 AM PDT by colorcountry (The gospel will transform our politics, not vice versa (Romans 12:1,2))
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To: freedomfiter2

As licensed Professional Engineer who worked from the bottom to the top and took 12 years to complete my degree, I can say you have hit the nail on the head. Know a lot great technicians who could out “engineer” the PEs they work for.


19 posted on 07/18/2012 10:31:01 AM PDT by shotgun
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To: Flag_This
"what makes you think he wasn't a competent engineer?" Something about falsifying his credentials. But maybe all the work that goes into an advanced degree is just busy work after all.

non-sequitur. If one does or does not falsify credentials, it has no impact on the quality of work required by an advanced degree program.

for those of you in Rio Linda, while I would question someone's work ethic who falsified credentials, I certainly would not consider lacking an advanced degree a basis for doing so.

20 posted on 07/18/2012 12:28:06 PM PDT by the invisib1e hand
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To: the invisib1e hand
"non-sequitur. If one does or does not falsify credentials, it has no impact on the quality of work required by an advanced degree program. for those of you in Rio Linda, while I would question someone's work ethic who falsified credentials, I certainly would not consider lacking an advanced degree a basis for doing so."

I didn't question his "work ethic," I questioned his basic integrity and his competence. The "practical joker's" employer apparently wanted somebody with a Ph.D, not somebody who hadn't managed to get through his undergraduate work. It seems the employer thought those credentials were necessary to do whatever the job was because they were willing to pay the extra costs to get someone with those creds.

If a person lies, in a very significant way, to get a job, it is entirely reasonable to believe that person would lie about other significant things to keep that job. For those of you in Rio Linda, that's a bad thing and that is why I wouldn't want to drive across any bridge designed by jokerman.

21 posted on 07/18/2012 4:07:45 PM PDT by Flag_This (Real presidents don't bow.)
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