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Divorce agreement [between the left and the right]
therionorteline.com ^ | August 10, 2012 | flasawdust

Posted on 08/20/2012 12:19:27 AM PDT by grundle

DIVORCE AGREEMENT– By flasawdust August 10, 2012

DIVORCE AGREEMENT–

WRITTEN BY YOUNG COLLEGE STUDENT–

The person who wrote this is a college student. Perhaps there is hope for us after all.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT’S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I’LL VOTE FOR HIM.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950′s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own

way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

–Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

–We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.

–You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

–Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

–We’ll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.

–You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to

move all three of them.

–We’ll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

–You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.

–We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks.

–We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

–You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

–You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.

–We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

–You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

–We’ll keep the SUV’s, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.

–You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

–We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

–We’ll keep “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and “The National Anthem.”

–I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute “Imagine”, “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing”, “Kum Ba Ya” or “We Are the World”.

–We’ll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

–Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely, John J. Wall Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & ( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S. And you won’t have to press 1 for English when you call our country.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 08/20/2012 12:19:33 AM PDT by grundle
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To: grundle

Fair and just.

Keep what is yours.


2 posted on 08/20/2012 12:32:51 AM PDT by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: grundle

P.S.S.?...Is that shorthand for something?


3 posted on 08/20/2012 12:36:44 AM PDT by gr8eman (Ron Swanson for President!)
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To: mylife

There should be 2 presidents too. One for libtard Dumocraps and one for the rest of us.


4 posted on 08/20/2012 12:38:36 AM PDT by max americana (Make the world a better place by punching a liberal in the face)
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To: gr8eman

When was the last time you wrote hand written letter?


5 posted on 08/20/2012 12:40:40 AM PDT by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: max americana

I’d be happy to give hem their own country.

Far Far away.


6 posted on 08/20/2012 12:42:32 AM PDT by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: gr8eman

P.S. A hand written letter.


7 posted on 08/20/2012 12:44:24 AM PDT by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: gr8eman

Should be P.P.S.


8 posted on 08/20/2012 12:45:11 AM PDT by skr (May God confound the enemy)
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To: grundle

I can’t wait to see them develop the first automobile to run off show tunes.


9 posted on 08/20/2012 12:46:03 AM PDT by papertyger ("And how we burned in the camps later, thinking: What would things have been like if..."))
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To: grundle

For further entertainment, do a Google search on this “letter’ and have a great time reading the responses.


10 posted on 08/20/2012 12:52:11 AM PDT by antceecee (Bless us Father.. have mercy on us and protect us from evil.)
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To: grundle

I like this angle on things. Great idea.


11 posted on 08/20/2012 12:52:53 AM PDT by DoughtyOne (Nope 2012)
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To: mylife

>> I’d be happy to give hem their own country.

Make ‘em pay, then charge them property tax.


12 posted on 08/20/2012 12:53:54 AM PDT by Gene Eric (Demoralization is a weapon of the enemy. Don't get it, don't spread it!)
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To: papertyger
Whatever it is, I'm sure it will be very nice
13 posted on 08/20/2012 12:57:12 AM PDT by knarf (I say things that are true ... I have no proof ... but they're true)
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To: grundle
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion.

I definitely disagree with this part. Let the scumbags have their concentrated Democrat parasite nests ("cities") and let the normal, working taxpayers have the rest. You know, something like the map:


14 posted on 08/20/2012 1:01:58 AM PDT by Lancey Howard
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To: papertyger
Whatever it is, I'm sure it will be very nice
15 posted on 08/20/2012 1:04:37 AM PDT by knarf (I say things that are true ... I have no proof ... but they're true)
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To: Lancey Howard

You rock Lancey.... exactly RIGHT.


16 posted on 08/20/2012 1:04:47 AM PDT by antceecee (Bless us Father.. have mercy on us and protect us from evil.)
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To: grundle

I support secession.


17 posted on 08/20/2012 1:16:08 AM PDT by MachIV
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To: grundle

There has been an almost exact precedent in recent history: the “divorce” of India into India and Pakistan.

That one didn’t work either.

Leftist islamist haters will never let go until they’re dead.


18 posted on 08/20/2012 1:25:16 AM PDT by Hardraade (http://junipersec.wordpress.com (I will fear no muslim))
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To: grundle

How about we just start the shootin’ match and see who wins?


19 posted on 08/20/2012 1:49:44 AM PDT by Bullish (Liars aren't always thieves but thieves are ALWAYS liars)
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To: grundle

How about we just start the shootin’ match and see who wins?


20 posted on 08/20/2012 1:50:01 AM PDT by Bullish (Liars aren't always thieves but thieves are ALWAYS liars)
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To: grundle
I would only make one change...

–We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

-We'll continue to believe that healthcare is a personal responsibility and not a right.

Other than that, when can we get started?

21 posted on 08/20/2012 2:02:23 AM PDT by Wingy (Don't blame me. I voted for the chick. I hope to do so again.)
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To: mylife

“PSS”

Shouldn’t that be PPS-(Post Post Script)?


22 posted on 08/20/2012 2:20:51 AM PDT by beenaround
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To: grundle

Give ‘em EAST ST. LOUIS, IL....NOTHING snd i mean NOTHING..could make e.st. louis a worse place to live...well maybe a new load of libs might...but not MUCH worse....


23 posted on 08/20/2012 3:18:25 AM PDT by jimsin (B)
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To: MachIV

No, not secession, expulsion.

There is nothing wrong with the Constitution - with a little renovation it will be fine.

It’s the moonbats that are the problem.

Let them leave and set up their own country if they are so disaffected by this one.

I’m not willing to give them any quarter. If they wish to continue this march towards tyranny, the “talking” will soon be replaced by something more painful.

In other words, once we have exhausted our options under the first amendment...

You can figure it out from there.

Remember that at the conclusion of the Revolution, those loyal to the king were shown the door.

We should be doing the same thing.

Either accept the Constitution as the supreme law of the land or get out.


24 posted on 08/20/2012 4:08:44 AM PDT by turfmann
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To: grundle

Great then we can enforce this agreement using my “Voter ID Card Economy”. When you go to purchase something you may or may not be able to depending on the “R” or “D” on your card.


25 posted on 08/20/2012 4:37:15 AM PDT by ryan71
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To: antceecee; Lancey Howard

I love the map too, except for one little thing....the Florida Keys.

We’ll have to organize an invasion force. A hundred good ole boys from north Florida should to do it. I don’t think the rainbow army will offer much resistance.


26 posted on 08/20/2012 5:44:34 AM PDT by ryan71
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To: Lancey Howard
I propose that we immediately invade, and overtake the counties where San Francisco, Oakland and Sausalito are. That's beautiful shoreline, plus a strategic and protected bay. Much too beautiful to concede to libs.

While we're at it, we might as well nap Napa and Somoma counties, too.

27 posted on 08/20/2012 5:53:02 AM PDT by Lou L (Health "insurance" is NOT the same as health "care")
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To: grundle
--and here is the implementation of the divorce:

It's Time to Part Company

28 posted on 08/20/2012 6:44:06 AM PDT by B.O. Plenty (Elections have consequences....)
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To: Gene Eric

Sparks an idea. If people can be made to pay a tax for not buying medical insurance, let’s make ‘em pay a NONproperty tax. If you don’t buy property you have to pay a tax, or one of those “taxfines”. After all, you non property tax payers, your kids use the schools too. (I am joking of course).


29 posted on 08/20/2012 7:06:43 AM PDT by Anima Mundi (ENVY IS JUST PASSIVE, LAZY GREED)
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To: turfmann

The real problem is we are tipping to become a slight minority and it will probably snowball in time. Secession could be mutual......sortof like a big National Divorce.


30 posted on 08/20/2012 7:26:59 AM PDT by MachIV
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