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The Recipe for Happiness? An Enduring Marriage and an Affair With Lots of Sex
The Telegraph ^ | 20 Aug 2012 | Catherine Hakim

Posted on 08/20/2012 11:40:25 AM PDT by nickcarraway

The setting is the quiet corner of an Italian restaurant in the City; the players are George, an IT specialist, and Zoe, who wears a pretty dress and a big smile; they drink an especially good bottle of wine and when they get to coffee he reaches over and kisses her on the mouth. She surprises him by kissing him back. To onlookers it might be the classic opening scene of a traditional romance.

Yet both parties are married to other people, whom they have no intention of leaving. Although they will go on to enjoy all the spoils of a relationship, from intimate phone calls to Christmas shopping trips and, of course, regular sex, this is understood from the outset. They are in fact launching into a “playfair”, a 21st-century affair in which would-be adulterers meet, via specialist dating websites, to enjoy the excitement of an illicit relationship without any of the domestic fallout.

Alongside the internet dating revolution, these “playfairs” are evidence of a potentially dramatic shift in British marriage. As dating websites open up a global shop window of sexual possibilities, as life expectancy continues to rise and we become increasingly sexually aware, how can we still take the crushing old rules of fidelity, that turn marriage into a prison, for granted? Why should we not be able to recapture the heady thrills of youth, while protecting a secure home life? The time has come, alongside the technology, to redraw the rules of marriage for the 21st century. Just as the Pill opened up premarital sex in the Sixties, the internet is opening up a whole new culture of affairs among married people. Sex has become a major leisure activity of our time, accessible to everyone, married or not, rich and poor. It’s time to start honing

(Excerpt) Read more at telegraph.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News
KEYWORDS: adultery; antimonogamy; catherinehakim; culturewar; france; freelove; happiness; hookupculture; infidelity; marriage; moralabsolutes; psychology; sexpositiveagenda; smashmonogamy; swingers; thereisnoenglandnow
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1 posted on 08/20/2012 11:40:29 AM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway
Be ye not deceived...

I have known a few couples who had 'open marriages'.

None of them are couples any more.

2 posted on 08/20/2012 11:44:27 AM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing)
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To: nickcarraway

Y’know ... you can have an enduring marriage and lots of sex without a hussy on the side. The actual recepie to happiness.

SnakeDoc


3 posted on 08/20/2012 11:45:07 AM PDT by SnakeDoctor ("I've shot people I like more for less." -- Raylan Givens, Justified)
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To: nickcarraway

JIMMY SOUL
“If You Wanna Be Happy”

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall
As soon as he married her and then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart

But if you make an ugly woman your wife
A-you’ll be happy for the rest of your life
An ug-a-ly woman cooks meals on time
And she’ll always give you peace of mind

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

[Sax solo]

Don’t let your friends say you have no taste
Go ahead and marry anyway
Though her face is ugly, her eyes don’t match
Take it from me, she’s a better catch

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

[Spoken:]
Say man!
Hey baby!
I saw your wife the other day!
Yeah?
Yeah, an’ she’s ug-leeee!
Yeah, she’s ugly, but she sure can cook, baby!
Yeah, alright!

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you


4 posted on 08/20/2012 11:47:04 AM PDT by Red Badger (Anyone who thinks wisdom comes with age is either too young or too stupid to know the difference....)
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To: nickcarraway

That country and it’s people are disgusting and depraved... along with many here.

I love how people think this is some kind of enlightment or progress. LOL. As if the world hasn’t gone from prude to promiscuous and back to prude a 1,000 times over. Societal ignorance of this day is laughable, and shameful.

There is a reason the good eras are remembered, and the bad forgotten. Give me the Victorian era or the 50’s any day.

Those same people will feel the same way when passion guns them down? har har.

Don’t fight nature, we are monogomous beings, and jelousy reigns strong in all hearts of men and women.

This is the worst kind of illusion- self-delusion.

What I find funny is, most of the people who promote these lifestyles are the ones who would lose out in natural selection in the context they seek to be legitimate.

Meanwhile, many of us that would do well, are the ones who shunn the thoughts. I think that says something right there.

Eventually somewhere in the world a traditional-Judeo-Christian society will HAVE to crop up, if the UK and USA are determined to stamp them out in their own terrirotires.

I mean, there are just too many people who feel the way we/I do.

I hope there is some water and or/mountains wherever that ends up being. I so love both of them =).


5 posted on 08/20/2012 11:47:04 AM PDT by Individual Rights in NJ (Infidel Inside)
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To: nickcarraway
20 years of marriage fidelity for me, and I've had chances. I saw the line, and I refused to step over it. It may be OK for some, but I don't recommend it. My vows were to my wife and God.
6 posted on 08/20/2012 11:48:19 AM PDT by jeffc (The U.S. media are our enemy)
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To: nickcarraway

“The Captain’s Paradise” starring Alec Guinness.

Fun movie, largely due to a brilliant Guinness; controversial plot.


7 posted on 08/20/2012 11:49:17 AM PDT by Jack Hammer
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To: nickcarraway

“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put
darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for
sweet and sweet for bitter.” Isaiah 5:20


8 posted on 08/20/2012 11:52:24 AM PDT by WKTimpco (Traditional Values Counter Revolution)
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To: nickcarraway

She’s....uhmmmm...insane?

Not only is the article immoral, it’s also irrational. She doesn’t appear to know what she is saying. For example:

“While dating websites for singles are dominated by women looking for “the one”, those for married people are dominated by men looking for a sexual adventure. The ratio is around one woman to every 13 men, giving the women the power to dictate terms, from dates at the most expensive restaurants and luxury gifts to financial rewards.”

Prostitution, anyone?


9 posted on 08/20/2012 11:52:45 AM PDT by ransomnote
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To: nickcarraway

The recipe for happiness? Of course...for divorce lawyers.


10 posted on 08/20/2012 11:55:11 AM PDT by Gay State Conservative (The Word Is Out,Harry Reid's Into Child Porn.Release All Your Photos,Harry!)
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To: ransomnote

Yeah...prostitution.

“At the end, they discussed meeting again. Maya suggested a monthly fee for unlimited time with him at his convenience. Peter laughed, assuming she was joking. He considered an expensive dinner generous enough.

But as he worked his way through a similar series of first dates, that were also not followed up, he realised that Maya was right: a crucial rule in this modern world of adultery is that the women are able to call the shots, especially when the men are past their prime. “


11 posted on 08/20/2012 11:56:23 AM PDT by ransomnote
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To: SnakeDoctor

-——Y’know ... you can have an enduring marriage and lots of sex without a hussy on the side. The actual recepie to happiness.-——

Gee, how archaic and old fashioned ...../ S

My wife and I have been married 32 years and never have I been bored with her....

..... because she is the love of my life....


12 posted on 08/20/2012 11:56:36 AM PDT by Popman (In a place you only dream of Where your soul is always free)
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To: SnakeDoctor

SnakeDoc—you are 100% correct -we have 50 yrs on ours to prove that..course she deserves a sympathy card for putting up with me....


13 posted on 08/20/2012 11:57:04 AM PDT by rxtn41
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To: nickcarraway
The downside for Europeans is they're not having enough children to replace themselves. Cheap thrills and large families aren't compatible. So, in 200 years or so, Europe will be Muslim.

German will be a dead language, French will be a dead language... Have fun on Holidays, Europeans - your culture is committing suicide.

14 posted on 08/20/2012 12:01:28 PM PDT by GOPJ (Politics is war without bloodshed, and war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Tse Tung. We're at war)
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To: nickcarraway

Many good comments attached to the article. I liked this one:

“Yet another article on how we have become weak and lazy people. Marriage too tough? Wimp out and change the rules to your own liking. A real man (or woman) doesn’t thrill a thousand partners over the course of a lifetime. No! A real man (or woman) thrills the same partner over a thousand lifetimes. Too tough? Change the rules, dumb it down, make it easier. Pathetic!”


15 posted on 08/20/2012 12:04:26 PM PDT by ransomnote
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To: nickcarraway

In the article,

“Unsurprisingly a sexless, or low-sex, marriage, in which
couples have sex less than once a month, appears to be the
most common root cause for married internet affairs.”

How about saying the truth: Internet affairs are the root
cause of a sexless or low-sex marriage.

Stupid leftists and their lying through statistical
correlations.

Geez !!


16 posted on 08/20/2012 12:06:21 PM PDT by WKTimpco (Traditional Values Counter Revolution)
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To: nickcarraway

What makes her think that the rules of fidelity are what turn marriage into a prison?


17 posted on 08/20/2012 12:06:34 PM PDT by Jeff Chandler (Whatever a homosexual union might be or represent, it is not physically marital. - F.Cardinal George)
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To: WKTimpco

Article: “Unsurprisingly a sexless, or low-sex, marriage, in hich couples have sex less than once a month, appears to be
the most common root cause for married internet affairs.

When you j-off to Internet pornography, you’re bound
to have less sex with your spouse.

Geez !!


18 posted on 08/20/2012 12:10:14 PM PDT by WKTimpco (Traditional Values Counter Revolution)
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To: SnakeDoctor
Y’know ... you can have an enduring marriage and lots of sex without a hussy on the side. The actual recipe to happiness.

My thoughts exactly!!! ;-)

19 posted on 08/20/2012 12:14:56 PM PDT by KosmicKitty (WARNING: Hormonally crazed woman ahead!!)
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To: nickcarraway

I’m always greatly amused that promiscuity, open relationships, affairs, premarital sex, same sex marriages etc etc are all seen as perfectly okay but ....

OMG Polygamists! Get them!


20 posted on 08/20/2012 12:20:20 PM PDT by Domandred (Fdisk, format, and reinstall the entire .gov system.)
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To: nickcarraway
The Recipe for Happiness? An Enduring Marriage and an Affair With Lots of Sex

Fixed it. Author is an idiot.

21 posted on 08/20/2012 12:20:52 PM PDT by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: ArrogantBustard

The Recipe for Happiness? An Enduring Marriage With Lots of Sex and Beer.


Fixed it again. :P


22 posted on 08/20/2012 12:23:31 PM PDT by AmericanSamurai
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To: KosmicKitty
Y’know ... you can have an enduring marriage and lots of sex without a hussy on the side. The actual recipe to happiness.

My thoughts exactly!!! ;-)

Apparently not...

French farmer 'mows down love rival with tractor' - Telegraph www.telegraph.co.uk

23 posted on 08/20/2012 12:24:01 PM PDT by dragonblustar (Allah Ain't So Akbar!)
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To: nickcarraway

Related:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2920728/posts


24 posted on 08/20/2012 12:24:31 PM PDT by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
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To: Red Badger

lol. Get an ugly girl? Oy vey, that’s a bit extreme.


25 posted on 08/20/2012 12:26:23 PM PDT by AmericanSamurai
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To: nickcarraway

So according to this article William Jefferson Clinton is a happy fellow?

I doubt it. He doesn’t look he’s into Hillary much. :P


26 posted on 08/20/2012 12:28:13 PM PDT by AmericanSamurai
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To: AmericanSamurai

When the lights are out, we all look like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.................


27 posted on 08/20/2012 12:29:35 PM PDT by Red Badger (Anyone who thinks wisdom comes with age is either too young or too stupid to know the difference....)
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To: SnakeDoctor
Y’know ... you can have an enduring marriage and lots of sex without a hussy on the side.

Does "self pleasure" count?

28 posted on 08/20/2012 12:33:11 PM PDT by central_va ( I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: Red Badger

“Who’ll take the woman with the skinny legs?

Won’t someone puhlease take the woman with the skinny legs?”

This was a favorite song from my youth. I still sing the words sometimes.


29 posted on 08/20/2012 12:34:33 PM PDT by 43north (BHO: 50% black, 50% white, 100% RED)
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To: Red Badger

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6O6l4k9sNo


30 posted on 08/20/2012 12:36:41 PM PDT by AmericanSamurai
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To: central_va

I’m gonna go with “no” ... but there could be exceptions.

SnakeDoc


31 posted on 08/20/2012 12:37:43 PM PDT by SnakeDoctor ("I've shot people I like more for less." -- Raylan Givens, Justified)
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To: Individual Rights in NJ
That country and it’s people are disgusting and depraved... along with many here.

Read the comments at the bottom of the article, you will be heartened.

32 posted on 08/20/2012 12:38:07 PM PDT by Paradox (I want Obama defeated. Period.)
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To: AmericanSamurai
LOL!

Mrs. B doesn't much care for beer ... which is kind of a bummer, since I'm a brewer ...

Wine, OTOH ....

;'}

33 posted on 08/20/2012 12:42:25 PM PDT by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: AmericanSamurai

Good movie.........got the DVD............


34 posted on 08/20/2012 12:42:40 PM PDT by Red Badger (Anyone who thinks wisdom comes with age is either too young or too stupid to know the difference....)
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To: Domandred
I’m always greatly amused that promiscuity, open relationships, affairs, premarital sex, same sex marriages etc etc are all seen as perfectly okay but ....
OMG Polygamists! Get them!


There is typically one of two things at play in the thought process that makes this scenario "sensible" to Liberals: 1) Shhh! They are trying to boil the frog with a gradual increase in the temperature 2) Logic is NOT a common trait among liberal leftists!

Of course, with the Communist/Marxist Admin we have today these are NOT mutually exclusive!
35 posted on 08/20/2012 12:43:29 PM PDT by ExTxMarine (PRAYER: It's the only HOPE for real CHANGE in America!)
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To: central_va

No. I for one, am master of my domain.


36 posted on 08/20/2012 12:46:33 PM PDT by cydcharisse (`)
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To: Smokin' Joe

Hard to blame gay activists for destroying marriage when our side keeps doing stuff like THIS to it...


37 posted on 08/20/2012 12:51:10 PM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: nickcarraway

“Saturday night was for wives, but Friday night at the Copa was always for the girlfriends.”


38 posted on 08/20/2012 12:52:24 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: Smokin' Joe

Perverts unite! An “expert” seys you smart.


39 posted on 08/20/2012 12:58:08 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: nickcarraway
But sex is no more a moral issue than eating a good meal.

You know, people are entitled to their own opinions but they aren't entitled to their own truth.

40 posted on 08/20/2012 1:09:52 PM PDT by johniegrad
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To: SnakeDoctor

If a married couple isn’t having regular, fulfilling sex - something is wrong.


41 posted on 08/20/2012 1:11:14 PM PDT by Marie ("The last time Democrats gloated this hard after a health care victory, they lost 60 House seats.")
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To: WKTimpco; All

There are other reasons for infidelity with preservation of the marriage. I have seen several: husband a mean stingy SOB who wouldn’t even let his wife eat one of several steaks he bought, only one example; an alcoholic mate who nevertheless is the prime breadwinner; a wife with an attractive husband who nevertheless only is willing to have sex with him 2 or 3 times a year. Children involved in the decisions to stay.


42 posted on 08/20/2012 1:12:49 PM PDT by gleeaikin
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To: nickcarraway; wagglebee

Hmmm. Seems the Telegraph has a meme today:

Puritan view of adultery turns Brits into ‘caged animals’ says academic
Telegraph (UK) ^ | By John Bingham, Social Affairs Editor | 7:00AM BST 20 Aug 2012
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2920728/posts


43 posted on 08/20/2012 1:17:03 PM PDT by a fool in paradise (Only Obama put a dog on the roof of his mouth. Dogs are friends, not food.)
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To: nickcarraway
Ecclesiastes 9:9

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

44 posted on 08/20/2012 1:17:33 PM PDT by Clay+Iron_Times (Psalms 118:9)
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To: gleeaikin

a wife with an attractive husband who nevertheless only is willing to have sex with him 2 or 3 times a year.


My goodness, he should have figured out she was frigid before marrying her.


45 posted on 08/20/2012 1:18:31 PM PDT by AmericanSamurai
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To: nickcarraway
Yet both parties are married to other people, whom they have no intention of leaving.

They've already left emotionally, and sinned by breaking the covenant of marriage.

Everyone in the family suffers when one member of the family chooses to break the familial covenant.

46 posted on 08/20/2012 1:23:31 PM PDT by MEGoody (Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.)
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To: ransomnote
“At the end, they discussed meeting again. Maya suggested a monthly fee for unlimited time with him at his convenience. Peter laughed, assuming she was joking. He considered an expensive dinner generous enough.

Consider, the kind of woman who will put her profile on a website for older married men who want some sex on the side, will generally be a call girl looking for customers.

47 posted on 08/20/2012 1:44:24 PM PDT by PapaBear3625 (A deep-fried storm is coming, Mr Obama.)
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To: AmericanSamurai

Rodney Dangerfield:
“During sex my [wife] always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.”

Perhaps the “attractive” wife is not frigid at all...


48 posted on 08/20/2012 1:45:55 PM PDT by jonno (Having an opinion is not the same as having the answer...)
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To: Buckeye McFrog
Maybe the gays are promoting promiscuity while married for straight folks so they can justify their own promiscuity and remove that as an objection to their attempts to redefine "marriage".

But all the elements of that were in the Communist goals back in '63.

Wrecking the family, the most basic governmental unit, leaves a vacuum the State can fill, a thought totalitarians love...

49 posted on 08/20/2012 1:45:55 PM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing)
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To: Smokin' Joe

You know, this article isn’t really about “open marriage”, otherwise why would the people worry about being “discovered”.

Nope. This is advocating couples cheating on each other separately.


50 posted on 08/20/2012 1:47:18 PM PDT by chesley (God's chosen instrument - the trumpet)
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