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DEMS UNVEIL CONVENTION THEME: "Let's Get It On" (emphasis on condoms, swinging and hooking-up)
VANITY

Posted on 09/03/2012 7:56:28 AM PDT by Liz

Convention delegates get EPA-approved flag colored condoms w/ ribbed DNC logo.

Claiming fuddy-duddy Republicans don't know diddly about sex, the DNC announced that all delegates to the Dem Ntl Convention will be given a voucher that may be redeemed for their choice of contraception courtesy of the federally-funded Planned Parenthood organization. The sex-neutral contraceptives are made of an asst of enviromentally-friendly, ergonomically sustainable, materials fully approved by the EPA. "The condoms sport the ribbed DNC logo for extra pleasure," said one DNC spox lasciviously.

The Obama Admin said it will will personally ensure the availability of free condoms in all convention restrooms, hotel rooms, golf courses, and parking lots. Obama said he has enlisted the TSA to enure the use of distribution of condoms at all convention venues, and other Democrat-sponsored activities in Charlotte.

Regarding the convention, the DNC announced: as Democrat delegates board the chartered buses that will transport them to the convention, they will each receive a voucher that may be redeemed for their choice of contraception. Buses will be equipped w/ push-button insta-beds for those delegates needing a quickie before the arduous nominating process begins.

These options will be provided free of charge.

The DNC said the move was prompted by the DNC's feeling that sex is entertaining--and that the Obama administration believes that it is OK to engage in mature sexual relationships at a young age, even at conventions.

Information and condoms will be made readily available in several locations around the Charlotte area. The DNC suggested that state Democrat parties consider adopting similar policies in their home states.

A TREAT FOR SWING STATE DELEGATES "Swing state" delegates are cordially invited to a wife-swapping party featuring a communal hot tub. The party will be attended by Mr and Mrs Obama, Mr and Mrs Joe Biden, Mr and Mrs David Axelrod, Mr and Mrs Rham Emanuel, Mr and Mrs Robert Gibbs. Ex-Penn State President Dr Graham Spanier---the human sexuality scholar ---will be on hand to assist in wife-swapping and other group sex techniques.

A specially created convention app entitled "Sex and How To Get It" will facilitate delegate "'hook-ups"--a colloquial euphemism for sex--so that delegates can return home with their reputations---and other body parts---polished.

The Obama Admin hopes contraceptive availablity will mitigate any backlash from stone-age religionists and institutions over its rule that all employers must offer contraception in their insurance plans.

When appraised of the DNC's public-spirited effort to finance convention contraception packages, sex-expert Sandra Fluck volunteered to give a seminar to show delegates how to use contraceptives to prevent being punished with a baby.

Fluck, a nationally known fornicator, and contraceptive hoarder, says she wants to make sure every couple gets maximum enjoyment, especially first time fornicators.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: vanity
Pres and Mrs Obama indicated their two daughters will attend Planned Parenthood's "Sex Is Okay" programs for teens and pre-teens. The president has asked HHS and the DOE to assist in the presentation......b/c the Obama's want voters to know that govt has all the know-how necessary to achieve sexual pleasure, at any age.

>

"I hope you have fun at the "Sex Is Okay" event, Malia."

Don't worry Dad--I'll have fun and I won't get
punished with a baby, thanks to the DNC's planning."

"Malia, I don't want my reputation as a fashion plate tarnished. I hope you choose the right color condom."

"Don't worry, Mom. My condoms will match my convention dress perfectly."

>

" Malia's hook-up for the convention is very important for your reelection chances, Obama. A black athlete would be nice---if we could find one who hasn't raped anyone lately."

"A Trayvon Martin look-alike would be nice----but they wouldn't let him into the convention wearing a hoodie. Look, I really need to shore up my gay base after the Biden screw-up----know any nice Democrat girls Malia and Sasha could hook-up with?"

1 posted on 09/03/2012 7:56:34 AM PDT by Liz
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To: Liz

"Reporting for duty"

2 posted on 09/03/2012 8:02:15 AM PDT by KeyLargo
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To: Liz

Vote for us or we will call you racist.


3 posted on 09/03/2012 8:09:48 AM PDT by KC_Conspirator
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To: KeyLargo

ROTFL——I see Kerry has on his green body condom-—he’s ready for (cough) anything.


4 posted on 09/03/2012 8:12:39 AM PDT by Liz
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To: Liz

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2925571/posts

Look like Mr. Sandman came through for him.


5 posted on 09/03/2012 8:12:54 AM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets (The Democratic Party strongly supports full civil rights for necro-Americans!)
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To: Liz

This is just down right sicko...

This is not going to be a political party convention...

It’s going to be a mass gay pride event.

I would advise all God fearing people to stay clear.


6 posted on 09/03/2012 8:13:22 AM PDT by Safrguns
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

" Mmmmm, baby.....if you could only see where my hands are."

7 posted on 09/03/2012 8:19:35 AM PDT by Liz
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To: Liz

It’s not his daughter’s fault her parents are loons. Should probably have left her out of it.


8 posted on 09/03/2012 8:23:03 AM PDT by major-pelham
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To: Safrguns
And recycleable of course.
9 posted on 09/03/2012 8:23:29 AM PDT by F.J. Mitchell (Four years of Obama is as destructive as forty years of Carter.)
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To: Liz

Hilarious and believable.


10 posted on 09/03/2012 8:24:30 AM PDT by ExxonPatrolUs ("Trizzle, trazzle, trozzle, trome, time for this one to come home" - Mr Wizard)
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To: major-pelham; Liz

No need to bring in the kids Liz.


11 posted on 09/03/2012 8:27:57 AM PDT by kenavi (Obama doesn't hate private equity. He wants to be it with our money.)
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To: Liz

OHMIGOD THATS APPALLING DISGUSTING HORRENJOUS HOW THEY CAN GETING AWAY WITH THISSSSS?!!???!!!??!??!!!!!???


12 posted on 09/03/2012 8:32:00 AM PDT by ichabod1 (Spriiingtime for islam, and tyranny. Winter for US and frieeends. . .)
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To: ExxonPatrolUs
Hilarious and believable.

I keep looking for the half new/half satire heading for anything that comes from the dems.

And they believe this stuff.

13 posted on 09/03/2012 8:35:36 AM PDT by FatherofFive (Islam is evil and must be eradicated)
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To: Safrguns

The EPA approved the condoms because sex with a democrat involves “harmful emissions”.


14 posted on 09/03/2012 8:42:21 AM PDT by The Antiyuppie ("When small men cast long shadows, then it is very late in the day.")
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To: Safrguns
I would advise all God fearing people to stay clear.

I would advise everyone to invite all your friends - liberal and conservative - to watch the entire thing.

You need to know what pure evil looks like.

15 posted on 09/03/2012 8:44:20 AM PDT by FatherofFive (Islam is evil and must be eradicated)
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To: Liz

Satire???...Because with the left you never know now


16 posted on 09/03/2012 8:47:41 AM PDT by tophat9000 (American is Barack Oaken)
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To: Liz

In a world where pink vajayjays invade the RNC, anything is likely to happen.


17 posted on 09/03/2012 9:01:57 AM PDT by ichabod1 (Spriiingtime for islam, and tyranny. Winter for US and frieeends. . .)
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To: Liz

OK. Is this for real??? It sounds so very outrageous, that it should be a parody. Knowing the Democrat party, however, it seems it may actually be believable.

It is a testament to their mentality, lack of morality, and total loss of any sense of the country’s values. Could it be that Democrats are primarily associating with prostitutes, gangsters, druggies, thieves, and all other such undesirable people?

Oh, sorry. I’m sure the word “undesirable people” is in the list of verboten words as it sounds racist to me.


18 posted on 09/03/2012 9:19:43 AM PDT by Gumdrop
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To: Liz
How many great civilizations behaved in this way shortly before their collapse?
19 posted on 09/03/2012 9:25:08 AM PDT by Rides_A_Red_Horse (If there is a war on women, the Kennedys are the Spec Ops troops.)
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To: Liz

20 posted on 09/03/2012 9:33:17 AM PDT by Travis McGee (www.EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com)
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To: Liz

“Let’s have weird, perverted orgies, with ugly, old, fat, stinky people doing disgusting things! Everything goes! Sex with children and animals! Bondage and discipline! Whips, chains, branding, piercings, group sex, homosexual and lesbian sex, trepanation, public abortion and fetus cannibalism, necrophilia, scat! You name it and we will defile it and curse God while we are doing it!”

Or, just cut to the chase...

“Give us fire and brimstone, as you did to our master!”


21 posted on 09/03/2012 10:08:20 AM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy
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To: FatherofFive

I wouldn’t advise that. You know, that whole “pillar of salt” thing.


22 posted on 09/03/2012 10:09:59 AM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy
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To: Travis McGee

LOL——nice photoshopping.


23 posted on 09/03/2012 10:18:20 AM PDT by Liz
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To: kenavi; major-pelham
NO SATIRE HERE---THIS IS THE REAL THING Planned Parenthood unveils its new texting program aimed at your kids.

============================================

PPhood’s newsest atrocity is texting children——a sex “educator” employed by Planned Parenthood—-the organization that works constantly to drive a wedge between children and their parents-—will be texting your children without parental knowledge or consent.

THE PEDOPHILE CREDO Planned Parenthood Federation of America has proclaimed a right to sexual enjoyment as a basic human right for all people, including children, and is pushing that goal in every arena, including schools, community groups, and particularly the United Nations. It hires children as young as 14 to promote sex to their peers, and one affiliate recently posted a job listing for a state-funded peer educator position that requires that the teens must attend the annual gay pride parade in order to work for PP.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Planned Parenthood of Greater Northern New Jersey held its annual national sex educators’ conference, it promoted a website pushing such resources as “Unequal Partners, Teaching about Power and Consent in Adult-Teen and Other Relationships.” Planned Parenthood is actively involved in trying to push existing boundaries that separate and protect children from sexual activity.....as fodder for pedophiles

While this particular texting program has launched in the Denver area, it may well be a test program with plans for nationwide expansion. Parents must be very vocal in their opposition to Planned Parenthood texting their children. You can monitor your children’s phones for texting by noting the program’s acronym and number.

The Planned Parenthood “In Case You’re Curious” contact info is obtained by texting ICYC to 66746.

================================================ Satire is one way to call attention to a looming problem: There is a HUGE push to normalize pedophilia---BY PLANNED PARENTHOOD, NAMBLA AND ASSOCIATED GROUPS----they have been organizing for years.

When one pedophile surfaces, you can be sure there are many others lurking around. They gather in swarms to hunt kids....even going on kid hunts to toy stores.

Keep in mind, these evil souless predators are amazingly persuasive — and take pride in their ability to dupe people without displaying their true nature.

People are easily taken in by these calculatedly charming, persuasive predators. Pedophiles entice their victims by gaining their trust.......the same way they get people to cover for them.

PLANNED PARENTHOOD-—THE PEDOPHILES AMONG US-—IN OUR SCHOOLS This vile organization-—Planned Parenthood—— exhibits all the signs of avid organized pedophiles.They are in our schools K-12 sniffing around the genitals of young people We need to know how many of these PP types are connected to pedophilia organizations-——and have been convicted of pedophilia.

24 posted on 09/03/2012 10:28:49 AM PDT by Liz
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To: Liz
Jimmy Carter: Uh, hi there, everybody. It's good to see your faces. Tonight I want to talk to you about a timeless Democratic tradition - sexual performance in the White House! [ smiles and salutes the crowd ]

I am going to personally try to be a lusty, zesty kind of president, and follow.. [ winks at girl in the crowd ] Hi, baby. How are you? [ returns to speech ] ..and follow the lusty example of LBJ, JFK, and FDR.

I want you to remember for a moment the love life of Harry Truman, and my guess is that his First Lady was one satisfied customer! [ makes kissing gestures to girls in the crowd ]

It is in my heart that I have commited adultery, and that God forgives me, and.. um.. I forgot to add when I said that, that I have worn women's clothing.. [ pauses and smiles ] ..and I look very beautiful in it, too! I dont know why I said that, but I think that in the long run it will help me get elected!

You know, when stopping like this, I have had the opportunity to lust after a lot of women in America, and I have found that.. "East coast girls are really hip, I really dig the styles they wear.." [ pauses and smiles ] "..and the Northern girls, with the way they look, they keep me warm up there.." [ clicks along ] "I wish they all could be California girls!"

So far in my campaign, I have only fantisized. But now I actually look forward to some of the girls I've lusted after. Saucy vixens like Helena Kazan, Sheri Lewis, Phyliss Newman - actually, I'm not sure God ever forgave me for Phyliss Newman. But I want you to look at our Democratic figures - FDR, LBJ, JFK, Harry Truman - now, here were lusty, zesty men, seething with vital hormonal secretions. These were men of action. Doers. Democrats!

As your president, I look forward to deeply satisfying each and every last one of you! God forgive us all! Thank you!

25 posted on 09/03/2012 10:38:57 AM PDT by papertyger ("And how we burned in the camps later, thinking: What would things have been like if..."))
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To: All

YOU CANT MAKE THIS STUFF UP-—Every four years brings a new development to Democrat political conventions. This time it’s the first transgender member of the Democratic National Committee.

She’s Barbra Siperstein, known as “Babs.” Babs was once known as Barry, Army veteran, and father of three for almost 50 years. Now 70, Babs Siperstein, of NJ, said she wants to bolster Democratic party principles.

This year the Democrat party platform calls for marriage equality in three easy steps-—publicize it, normalize it, then get unsuspecting taxpayers to subsidize it.


26 posted on 09/03/2012 10:40:00 AM PDT by Liz
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To: Travis McGee

Sandra Fluke - Putting the ‘Harlot’ in ‘Charlotte’.


27 posted on 09/03/2012 10:40:31 AM PDT by dfwgator (I'm voting for Ryan and that other guy.)
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To: papertyger

Nice contribution to the thread.


28 posted on 09/03/2012 10:42:35 AM PDT by Liz
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To: All
DNC ANNOUNCES CONVENTION SPEAKER--Texas man suing supplement company for fractured penis will address delegates.

HOUSTON (CBS HOUSTON) – A Texas man has sued a sexual enhancement supplement company for allegedly causing his penis to fracture in a disturbing incident at a Houston motel.

Adrian Carter, 29, blames the supplement VirilisPro he bought last year at a Chevron gas station, but urologists have told ABC News that penile fractures are most often the result of rough sex.

According to the lawsuit, Carter purchased the supplement in the “early morning hours” at a Chevron gas station on his way to the Scottish Inn. There, he engaged in sexual intercourse with his “paramour.”

During intercourse, Carter experienced “significant pain and observed a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis onto the sheets, walls and mirror,” according to the lawsuit filed on Aug. 27 in Harris County, Texas.

“It was pretty horrific to view the pictures,” Carter’s lawyer, Melissa Moore, told ABCNews.com. “I know it sounds unusual…He was young and healthy and on no other meds at the time he took the supplement.”

Emergency room doctors had to “deglove” Carter’s penis in order to repair it, rendering him unable to have sex or future children, Carter claims.

The drug manufacturers Haute Health Limited Liability Company, Carney & Carney Financial Services, Solid Rock Worship Company and individuals Michael Heilig and Tyra Carney have all been named in the lawsuit. All are located in New Jersey.

The website for VirilisPro says the supplement is “made with only natural ingredients to prevent harmful side effects.” It advertises improvements in sexual performance that includes a harder erection, a more intense orgasm and a lower recovery time.

Male consumers are instructed to take it 30 minutes before intercourse and only use one pill in a 36-hour period. The ad warns the user to “always check with a healthcare professional” first.

According to the lawsuit, Carter is seeking medical expenses and punitive damages for product liability, negligence, breach of warranty, deceptive trade, mental anguish, pain and suffering and “past and future loss of consortium.”

The Food and Drug Administration doesn’t regulate dietary supplements in the same way as food or drugs. But the FDA can take action against any supplement deemed unsafe, according to their guidelines.

29 posted on 09/03/2012 11:50:37 AM PDT by Liz
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