Skip to comments.DEMS UNVEIL CONVENTION THEME: "Let's Get It On" (emphasis on condoms, swinging and hooking-up)
Posted on 09/03/2012 7:56:28 AM PDT by Liz
Convention delegates get EPA-approved flag colored condoms w/ ribbed DNC logo.
Claiming fuddy-duddy Republicans don't know diddly about sex, the DNC announced that all delegates to the Dem Ntl Convention will be given a voucher that may be redeemed for their choice of contraception courtesy of the federally-funded Planned Parenthood organization. The sex-neutral contraceptives are made of an asst of enviromentally-friendly, ergonomically sustainable, materials fully approved by the EPA. "The condoms sport the ribbed DNC logo for extra pleasure," said one DNC spox lasciviously.
The Obama Admin said it will will personally ensure the availability of free condoms in all convention restrooms, hotel rooms, golf courses, and parking lots. Obama said he has enlisted the TSA to enure the use of distribution of condoms at all convention venues, and other Democrat-sponsored activities in Charlotte.
Regarding the convention, the DNC announced: as Democrat delegates board the chartered buses that will transport them to the convention, they will each receive a voucher that may be redeemed for their choice of contraception. Buses will be equipped w/ push-button insta-beds for those delegates needing a quickie before the arduous nominating process begins.
These options will be provided free of charge.
The DNC said the move was prompted by the DNC's feeling that sex is entertaining--and that the Obama administration believes that it is OK to engage in mature sexual relationships at a young age, even at conventions.
Information and condoms will be made readily available in several locations around the Charlotte area. The DNC suggested that state Democrat parties consider adopting similar policies in their home states.
A TREAT FOR SWING STATE DELEGATES "Swing state" delegates are cordially invited to a wife-swapping party featuring a communal hot tub. The party will be attended by Mr and Mrs Obama, Mr and Mrs Joe Biden, Mr and Mrs David Axelrod, Mr and Mrs Rham Emanuel, Mr and Mrs Robert Gibbs. Ex-Penn State President Dr Graham Spanier---the human sexuality scholar ---will be on hand to assist in wife-swapping and other group sex techniques.
A specially created convention app entitled "Sex and How To Get It" will facilitate delegate "'hook-ups"--a colloquial euphemism for sex--so that delegates can return home with their reputations---and other body parts---polished.
The Obama Admin hopes contraceptive availablity will mitigate any backlash from stone-age religionists and institutions over its rule that all employers must offer contraception in their insurance plans.
When appraised of the DNC's public-spirited effort to finance convention contraception packages, sex-expert Sandra Fluck volunteered to give a seminar to show delegates how to use contraceptives to prevent being punished with a baby.
Fluck, a nationally known fornicator, and contraceptive hoarder, says she wants to make sure every couple gets maximum enjoyment, especially first time fornicators.
"I hope you have fun at the "Sex Is Okay" event, Malia."
Don't worry Dad--I'll have fun and I won't get
punished with a baby, thanks to the DNC's planning."
"Malia, I don't want my reputation as a fashion plate tarnished. I hope you choose the right color condom."
"Don't worry, Mom. My condoms will match my convention dress perfectly."
" Malia's hook-up for the convention is very important for your reelection chances, Obama. A black athlete would be nice---if we could find one who hasn't raped anyone lately."
"A Trayvon Martin look-alike would be nice----but they wouldn't let him into the convention wearing a hoodie. Look, I really need to shore up my gay base after the Biden screw-up----know any nice Democrat girls Malia and Sasha could hook-up with?"
"Reporting for duty"
Vote for us or we will call you racist.
ROTFL——I see Kerry has on his green body condom-—he’s ready for (cough) anything.
Look like Mr. Sandman came through for him.
This is just down right sicko...
This is not going to be a political party convention...
It’s going to be a mass gay pride event.
I would advise all God fearing people to stay clear.
" Mmmmm, baby.....if you could only see where my hands are."
It’s not his daughter’s fault her parents are loons. Should probably have left her out of it.
Hilarious and believable.
No need to bring in the kids Liz.
OHMIGOD THATS APPALLING DISGUSTING HORRENJOUS HOW THEY CAN GETING AWAY WITH THISSSSS?!!???!!!??!??!!!!!???
I keep looking for the half new/half satire heading for anything that comes from the dems.
And they believe this stuff.
The EPA approved the condoms because sex with a democrat involves “harmful emissions”.
I would advise everyone to invite all your friends - liberal and conservative - to watch the entire thing.
You need to know what pure evil looks like.
Satire???...Because with the left you never know now
In a world where pink vajayjays invade the RNC, anything is likely to happen.
OK. Is this for real??? It sounds so very outrageous, that it should be a parody. Knowing the Democrat party, however, it seems it may actually be believable.
It is a testament to their mentality, lack of morality, and total loss of any sense of the country’s values. Could it be that Democrats are primarily associating with prostitutes, gangsters, druggies, thieves, and all other such undesirable people?
Oh, sorry. I’m sure the word “undesirable people” is in the list of verboten words as it sounds racist to me.
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