Posted on 09/08/2012 3:10:58 PM PDT by TryFreedomUS
I’d like to provide a Brooks-esque reintroduction to our President, a man with an always shifting and mysterious background, so that the American people can make a fully informed decision on Nov. 6th.
Barack Obama was born on August 4th, 1961 in Hawaii, Indonesia and Kenya, depending on whether he was applying for President of the United States, a college scholarship for international students, or for a book deal about his struggle with his racial identity. He burst forth from his mother’s womb in a cloud of smoke, which may or may not have been related to the half-empty pack of cigarettes the future President clutched tightly in his left hand. After being named for his Russian-speaking Marxist anti-colonialist father, the nurses turned away for a second during which time the precocious young man had already rolled his birth certificate into a fat joint and lit it on fire. This daring act of rebellion would later result in some trouble for Barack – or Barry as he preferred to be known.
Barry was a brilliant and talented child. Or so his mother told him. He uttered his first words in English at the ripe age of 36 months, but it was clear that little O had been waiting for just the right moment. The momentous occasion was a play date with a young girl who had just managed to construct a knee-high tower out of Lego blocks. Barry, frightened that his comrade might develop a sense of self-worth, accomplishment or individualism, broke his non-denominational vow of silence to tell her, “You didn’t build that.” The play date ended rather abruptly thereafter and little Barry lost a friend and a comrade.
(Excerpt) Read more at dartreview.com ...
This article is brilliant. The only thing left out is the bloke is fluent in Arabic.
In the future please do not change titles.
This one’s going out to my email list.
Barack Obama was born on August 4th, 1961 in Hawaii, Indonesia and Kenya, depending on whether he was applying for President of the United States, a college scholarship for international students, or for a book deal about his struggle with his racial identity. He burst forth from his mother’s womb in a cloud of smoke, which may or may not have been related to the half-empty pack of cigarettes the future President clutched tightly in his left hand. After being named for his Russian-speaking Marxist anti-colonialist father, the nurses turned away for a second during which time the precocious young man had already rolled his birth certificate into a fat joint and lit it on fire. This daring act of rebellion would later result in some trouble for Barack – or Barry as he preferred to be known."
This is good.
That was a fun read.... thanks for posting it.
Not bad for a 20-21 year old kid. Other editors of the Dartmouth Review have included Dinesh D’Souza and Laura Ingram. Co-founder Ben Hart wrote Poison Ivy (1981’ish)which Dartmouth welcomed with about as much enthusiasm as Yale did Bill Buckley’s God and Man at Yale 30 years before.
Not bad for a 20-21 year old kid. Other editors of the Dartmouth Review have included Dinesh D’Souza and Laura Ingram. Co-founder Ben Hart wrote Poison Ivy (1981’ish)which Dartmouth welcomed with about as much enthusiasm as Yale did Bill Buckley’s God and Man at Yale 30 years before.
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