Let’s please understand the science of fertility treatments.
There are ways to never destroy any baby or embryo.
One cheap way to supposedly (debatable as it has some harmful side effects) increase fertility is to take a pill called Clomid, which will allow more than one egg to ripen in a cycle. Women can get this from other women in the black market so this can be abused. This can lead to multiples.
Another poor way to increase fertility is to have your doctor prescribe injectible fertility meds, which can cause a whole passel of ripening eggs in one cycle, and then at trigger time have either sex with the husband or even an insemination. This supposedly is controlled by the good doctor checking the follicles on ultrasound and then if too many are ripening to tell the couple TO ABSTAIN under risk of high order multiple conceptions. There could be unscrupulous doctors as well as over zealous parents.
The latter is probably how this couple got into the situation.
IVF, as scary as it sounds to pro-lifers, can be as pro life as you are!! Moreso! I am a walking, talking example. While the woman does take fertility drugs to increase the number of eggs, the eggs are then harvested out through a pipette and kept in the lab. They can then be fertilized one at a time or in a bunch by the collected sperm on the husband. The then teeny embryos can be placed back in the uterus (a doctor malpractices if he places back more than 2) or frozen with no ill effects. There is no need to destroy a one.
However, about half of them are not good. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Just as about half on average of embryos created by sex in a wife,s Fallopian tubes are not good. They will never become a baby. We can’t tell without testing which embryos have a chance of developing even until the 13th week of pregnancy. Ask around. Many women have had early miscarriages and this is why — the embryo was messed up in the chromosomes and would never develop, either at all or long enough to make it into the 2nd trimester. This is natural.
Some families going in for IVF end up with the number of kids they wish to raise, and extra embryos besides. They are given a choice: have those extra embryos destroyed, donated to science (destroyed), or donated. My beautiful precious baby girl is from a wonderful family’s donation. They could have had her destroyed! I almost can’t fathom that. Instead, she is loved and adored and please Gd may she live a good, long, happy life. And the joy of caring for her prenatally and from birth adds to our happiness as parents.
So don’t throw the baby out with the bath water (I did not say that! Sheesh!)
IVF is a good thing and has made many freepers happy parents.
In your case, you have received a precious blessing, but it was from --- I don't like saying this --- something that was inherently morally objectionable. The deliberate creation of human offspring without the very minimum needed for their overall security: that minimum includes being conceived in their mother's womb.
Conception in the mother's womb is inarguably normal; this other procedure, which exposes the embryos to excess risk or even to extermination, is subnormal.
There are something like 500,000 frozen human beings, frozen at the embryonic stage, in cold storage, inm this country alone --- multiples of that worldwide --- and the vast majority of them will never be adopted and gestated. They will deteriorate slowly, as any fozen entity deteirorates, and then they will either be used as experimental material, or discarded.
The people who caused these lives to be intentionally concocted and exposed to excessive risk --- the egg-mothers and sperm-fathers, clinic entrepreneurs, investors, technicians, marketers and staff --- are together responsible for this frozen-progeny problem, which is massive, morally insoluble, and repugnant.
That is in NO WAY attributable to you or your daughter, who are innocent of the initial wrongful choice to bring others into existence in a way that generates huge, ongoing ethical dilemmas.
Yaelle, it's no offense to you. I blame the ethically untethered IVF industry.