Skip to comments.ONE MILLION SLACKERS THREATEN TO MARCH ON DC
Posted on 10/09/2012 8:53:42 AM PDT by MichaelAsher54
Washington, D.C. (API) - In the event that President Barack Obama is not reelected on November 6th, one million slackers will march on Washington, D.C., according to Slackers for Obama founder Brian Ross (not to be confused with the ABC newsman of the same name).
Slackers for Obama is a nationwide group of un- and underemployed men and women committed to the policies of the President. Among other things, their manifesto calls for free entertainment, the abolition of private property rights and the retroactive abortion of political opponents in an effort to create a more fair and just society. To avoid charges of hypocrisy, Hollywood has thrown in its support and agreed to forego all income.
The "Million Slacker March," as it is officially known, is slated for January 20th and is intended to disrupt the possible inauguration of former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney as president and, if necessary, to reinstall the slackers' "messiah," Barack Hussein Obama II, as chief of state. "If anyone thinks we're going to go away quietly without the houses, cars and breath mints the 1% stole from us, they are sadly mistaken," said slacker Laura Norder.
The slackers are also calling for additional entitlements including free entertainment, free scrunchies and free cosmetic surgery. "A recent study by Snookie Polizzi shows a direct correlation between wealth and breast size," said Mr. Ross, "and we believe the poor should have just as much access to DDs as the rich."
Democratic operatives believe the sight of one million Americans in the iconic "we want free stuff" t-shirts will have a transformational effect on the country and finally bring an end to 236 years of constitutional rule. The slackers argue that they work far too hard as it is and richly deserve the gifts only government can bestow upon them.
They cite waiting in long lines for welfare and unemployment insurance, the tedious application process for food stamps, sky- rocketing anti-perspirant costs and the crackdown on the proliferation of medical marijuana dispensaries as just some of the obstacles to the easy life they say they deserve.
This would have been the makings of a hilarious SNL sketch, if SNL had better writers.
You jest, but that is entirely possible in this day and age...lol.
When Mitt wins, I have no doubt that the losers will protest loudly and real screechy-like. You know....like they always do for every moment a Republican is in the White House.
In other news, tonight’s meeting of Procrastinators Anonymous has been postponed......
I want one of those T-shirts!
They are the 47%
If folks only knew how prophetic this thread may end up being.
They'll be at their loudest and screechiest because of the injustice done to their messiah, because we were just too ignorant to see is brilliance....and because if you don't vote for Obama you're racist too.
By the way, I love the Obama commercial which says Romney will cut funding for Planned (un)Parenthood...which will remove the right for a woman to choose....it doesn't remove anything! They can still choose it...but they will have to pay for it without my tax dollars!! ...awwww, too bad.....
Slackers don’t march, they shuffle.
They will have to pay, feed, and bus them.
They aren’t very good slackers if they can bothered to show up at a given place and time. Their demands for free pot and birth control would be more convincing if shouted from their mom’s basement.
Maybe they will, or maybe in the event they’ll just shrug their shoulders and decide it’s not worth the effort. They are slackers, after all...
But they would have to get permission from their mommies to leave the basement.
“Slackers dont march, they shuffle.”
Just think, Washington DC will “be host” to one million butt cracks!
Proof they have more time on their hands than those of us who work for a living.
If Zer0 loses we can expect rioting in democRat cities all over the country. I say let em burn down their own cities and neighborhood. Would clean up the scum.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.