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Santa doesn’t smoke a pipe in PC rewrite of 'Twas the Night'
New York Post ^ | October 14, 2012 | SUSANNAH CAHALAN

Posted on 10/14/2012 4:58:40 PM PDT by dead

It’s a holiday classic Mayor Bloomberg would love.

A sanitized version of “A Visit from St. Nicholas” edits out all references to Santa Claus’ pipe habit — and critics say it’s yet another example of political correctness run amok.

A one-woman vice squad — self-published Canadian author Pamela McColl — kicked St. Nick’s butt habit in a new version of the beloved poem about “the night before Christmas.”

McColl deleted two verses — “The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth/and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath”— and hired an illustrator to redraw Santa without his pipe and halo of tobacco haze.

“No one can backtrack now,” McColl crowed to The Post. “Santa has stopped smoking, and 2012 is the year he quit, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.”

But not everyone is celebrating Kris Kringle going cold turkey after 189 years.

“Leave my story alone! This change is not officially sanctioned by the North Pole,” said Nicholas Trolli, president of the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas.

Critics wonder if the meddling willl stop at a smokeless Santa.

“Maybe they should talk about the fact that he’s also overweight and that he probably drinks,” griped Jackie Blackwell, “chief elf” and owner of a Canadian Christmas store.

Literary-minded critics accuse McColl of censoring history...

(Excerpt) Read more at newyorkpost.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: christmas; mccollisanidiot; pufflist; purge; santa; santasmokes; smokingiscool
“Santa has stopped smoking, and 2012 is the year he quit, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.”

Ahhh tolerance!

1 posted on 10/14/2012 4:58:45 PM PDT by dead
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To: dead

By the 3rd year of Baraq’s second term, Santa will be a member of the Choom Gang....


2 posted on 10/14/2012 5:00:33 PM PDT by nascarnation (Defeat Baraq 2012. Deport Baraq 2013)
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To: dead
“Maybe they should talk about the fact that he’s also overweight and that he probably drinks,” griped Jackie Blackwell, “chief elf” and owner of a Canadian Christmas store.

I'm just shocked the line,"Twas the Night before Christmas" hasn't been changed to "Twas the Night before the winter holiday".....

.....yet!

3 posted on 10/14/2012 5:04:11 PM PDT by massmike (The choice is clear in November: Romney or Caligula!)
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To: dead

but he does stuff their stockings with condoms and birth control pills


4 posted on 10/14/2012 5:04:42 PM PDT by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: dead

If he used a bong it would be okay.


5 posted on 10/14/2012 5:06:10 PM PDT by Mr Ramsbotham (Laws against sodomy are honored in the breech.)
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To: GeronL

LOL


6 posted on 10/14/2012 5:06:26 PM PDT by Gene Eric (Demoralization is a weapon of the enemy. Don't get it, don't spread it!)
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To: dead

So instead of Christmas, shouldn’t it be “holiday” for these libtards?


7 posted on 10/14/2012 5:09:28 PM PDT by max americana (Make the world a better place by punching a liberal in the face)
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To: dead

From Stan Freeberg’s “Green Christmas” classic:

SCROOGE: You there, Crass, uhh, I suppose your company’s running the usual
magazine ads showing cartons of your cigarettes peeking out of the top of Santa’s sack?

CRASS: Better than that! This year we have him smoking one.

SCROOGE: Um-hmmm...

CRASS: Yes. We’ve got Santa a little more rugged, too.
Both sleeves rolled up and a tattoo on each arm. One of ‘em says “Merry Christmas.”

SCROOGE: What does the other one say?

CRASS: “Less tar!”

SCROOGE: Great stuff!


8 posted on 10/14/2012 5:09:38 PM PDT by bigbob
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To: GeronL

That almost comes across as rhyming, so he probably does.


9 posted on 10/14/2012 5:12:17 PM PDT by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults.)
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To: dead

I guess we can’t leave cookies for him anymore, either. Maybe carrots and celery sticks.

Screw this PC crap! I’m still leaving him big ole homemade chocolate chip cookies and whole milk!


10 posted on 10/14/2012 5:12:17 PM PDT by ilovesarah2012
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To: dead

If the democrats stay in power, there will come a day when Santa is “gay”, is married to a guy named “Tooth Fairy”, and Santa will be required to give the ‘naughty’ kids gifts that were taken from the ‘nice’ kids by his AA hired-goverment paid ‘helpers’.


11 posted on 10/14/2012 5:18:42 PM PDT by Gator113 (I would have voted for NEWT, now it's Ryan and the other guy.~Just livin' life, my way~)
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To: GeronL

While visions of Helen Thomas and Sandra Fluke danced in their heads.


12 posted on 10/14/2012 5:23:52 PM PDT by Repeat Offender (Why do cops have more lenient ROEs when facing us than troops in combat facing suicidal islamists?)
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To: Pride in the USA

Freakin’ liberal moonbats!


13 posted on 10/14/2012 5:28:11 PM PDT by lonevoice (Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived)
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To: nascarnation

As Santa morphs into a half-black Muslim Richard Simmons transsexual vegan dwarf Communist agitator...


14 posted on 10/14/2012 5:34:33 PM PDT by Humble Servant (Work for the most conservative one in the race, and keep up the pressure.)
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To: lonevoice

That PC barking moonbat is also probably out there protesting cross monuments in public squares whenever the atheists are raising the song against G-d & religion.

It’s coming to a war, folks, and it’s coming soon.

Deus vult!


15 posted on 10/14/2012 5:34:33 PM PDT by elcid1970 ("Free speech is more important than Islam.")
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To: dead

Turkeys, and not the kind I like at Christmas. Think I’ll fire up the old briar tonight (I indulge now and then) just out of spite.


16 posted on 10/14/2012 5:36:02 PM PDT by Snake65
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To: dead

Turkeys, and not the kind I like at Christmas. Think I’ll fire up the old briar tonight (I indulge now and then) just out of spite.


17 posted on 10/14/2012 5:36:18 PM PDT by Snake65
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To: dead

Next we will have Mary and Joseph traveling to Bethlehem in a Chevy Volt.


18 posted on 10/14/2012 5:43:52 PM PDT by jimfree (In Nov 2012 my 12 y/o granddaughter has more relevant&quality executive experience than Barack Obama)
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To: dead
Santa Clause has a red suit
He's a communist
And a beard, and long hair
Must be a pacifist
What's in the pipe that he's smoking?

Why is he always smiling?
19 posted on 10/14/2012 5:45:31 PM PDT by Roccus
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To: jimfree
Next we will have Mary and Joseph traveling to Bethlehem in a Chevy Volt.

Because it has the nearest Planned Barrenhood clinic and the evil conservatives prayed the other ones out of business.

20 posted on 10/14/2012 5:51:10 PM PDT by Repeat Offender (Why do cops have more lenient ROEs when facing us than troops in combat facing suicidal islamists?)
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To: dead
“Santa has stopped smoking, and 2012 is the year he quit, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.”

Rauchen Verboten, Ja!!!
21 posted on 10/14/2012 5:54:52 PM PDT by Freedom4US
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To: dead
Jimmy Conway: "How's Tommy?"

Voice on phone: "Tommy, he's gone."

Jimmy Conway: "What do you mean gone?"

Voice: "He's gone and there's nothing we could do about it."

Conway smashes phone on hook.

22 posted on 10/14/2012 5:58:20 PM PDT by boop (Sorry, folks. Park's closed. The moose out front shoulda told ya.)
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To: dead
“No one can backtrack now,” McColl crowed to The Post. “Santa has stopped smoking, and 2012 is the year he quit, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.”

Nothing?

You have a very limited imagination Ms. Liberal Soul Garbage.

And your knowledge of history sucks, too.

23 posted on 10/14/2012 6:12:58 PM PDT by Talisker (One who commands, must obey.)
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To: dead
Smokin`! sexy santa claus Pictures, Images and Photos Is it almost that time of the year again?
24 posted on 10/14/2012 6:17:08 PM PDT by tumblindice (America's founding fathers: all armed conservatives)
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To: dead

25 posted on 10/14/2012 6:17:21 PM PDT by BerryDingle (I know how to deal with communists, I still wear their scars on my back from Hollywood-Ronald Reagan)
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To: Repeat Offender

argh


26 posted on 10/14/2012 6:20:58 PM PDT by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: dead

A Visit From Obama

T’was the night before elections,
And all thru’ the town,
Tempers were flaring
Emotions ran up and down.

I, in my bathrobe
With a cat in my lap,
Had shut off the TV,
tired of political crap.

When all of a sudden,
There arose such a noise,
I peered out my window,
Saw Obama and his boys

They had come for my wallet,
They wanted my pay
To hand out to others
Who had not worked a day!

He snatched up my money,
And quick as a wink,
Jumped back on his bandwagon
As I gagged from the stink.

He then rallied his henchmen
Who were pulling his cart.
I could tell they were out
To tear my country apart!

On Fannie, on Freddie,
On Biden and Ayers!
On Acorn, on Pelosi’
He screamed at the pairs!

They took off for his cause,
And as they flew out of sight,
I heard him laugh at a nation
Who wouldn’t stand up and fight!
So I leave you to think
On this one final note...

IF YOU DON’T WANT SOCIALISM,
GET OUT AND VOTE !!!!


27 posted on 10/14/2012 6:25:13 PM PDT by BerryDingle (I know how to deal with communists, I still wear their scars on my back from Hollywood-Ronald Reagan)
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To: boop

Awesome scene!


28 posted on 10/14/2012 6:45:17 PM PDT by dead (It ain't over until the phone lady sings.)
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To: lonevoice

OMG! Outrageous! And we are the intolerant?


29 posted on 10/14/2012 6:46:30 PM PDT by Pride in the USA (With Romney - Ryan you get change back.)
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To: dead
“No one can backtrack now,” McColl crowed to The Post. “Santa has stopped smoking, and 2012 is the year he quit, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.”

That's where you're wrong, biotch. You don't own the image of Santa, and I'll draw him smoking a doob as big as his thumb if I want. So take your PC crap and stuff it up your chimney.

30 posted on 10/14/2012 6:48:04 PM PDT by IronJack (=)
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To: dead

I knew a niece of the author that wrote the original. Excuse me while I go rewrite some Emily Dickinson and Robert Louis Stevenson. I might even rework some classic hymns while I’m at it! Don’t you just love revisionist history /sarc


31 posted on 10/14/2012 6:52:16 PM PDT by pops88 (Geek chick standing with Breitbart for truth)
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To: dead

..but it would be OK in the PC world if it packed with MartJ.


32 posted on 10/14/2012 7:26:47 PM PDT by SandRat (Duty - Honor - Country! What else needs said?)
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To: pops88
One of these days, a liberal will bother to read the Declaration of Independence and see the following:

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

All hell will break loose in liberal la la land.

33 posted on 10/14/2012 7:31:20 PM PDT by Holly_P
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To: bigbob

Tiny Tim Chestnuts.

‘nuf said


34 posted on 10/14/2012 7:33:34 PM PDT by Only1choice____Freedom (FDR had the New Deal. President 0bama has the Raw Deal.)
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