Skip to comments.Big Bird Takes Blame for Benghazi
Posted on 10/17/2012 11:27:28 AM PDT by MichaelAsher54
In yet another twist following the second presidential debate, Big Bird has declared that the buck stops with him and has taken the responsibility and blame for the entire Benghazi attack and its aftermath.
In an exclusive interview originally scheduled for release after the presidential election, the oversized Muppet asserts that the potential loss of government funding for the Childrens Television Workshop -- although only 15% of its total budget -- weighed so heavily upon President Barack Obama, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and National Intelligence Director James Clapper that it interfered with their decisions about embassy security and communications about the attack.
Big Birds decision to come forward so soon was due to reports that an old episode of Sesame Street was broadcast in the Middle East in which he has a sleep over with Elmo. Television logs show that the broadcast occurred in the week prior to the Benghazi attack and had many more viewers than the 12 hits received by an anti-Muslim YouTube video that the administration originally blamed for the attack. Interspecies bestiality is not looked upon favorably by Islamists, said Harvard sociologist Sal Minella.
Relief immediately swept through the entire Obama administration and the President immediately thanked the bright yellow fowl for taking one for the team while simultaneously ordering the arrest of the feathery vertebrate for the violation of his parole on a public defecation charge.
As a tribute to Big Birds selflessness and work on behalf of children of all ages, Slackers for Obama founder Brian Ross has urged the President to make bird feed a new entitlement.
Yes a big ugly old bird.