I’d be cooking bacon in the break room microwaves to fill the air with the smell. If they ask, I’ll tell them it’s turkey bacon. They can’t touch it or taste it, it’s against their creed, so they won’t know the difference.
I’d have BLTs every day and make giant sloppy pulled pork sandwiches. It’ll be delicious!
The Muslims are allowed to lie to non-Muslims (taqqiyah). Why can’t I lie right back at them?