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Petition wants Obama to save Twinkies
politico.com ^ | 11/16/2012 | Byron Tau

Posted on 11/16/2012 4:09:33 PM PST by Belteshazzar

A new White House petition wants President Obama to nationalize the "Twinkie industry," saving the popular junk food from possible extinction.

"We the undersigned, hereby request Barack Obama to immediately Nationalize the Twinkie industry and prevent our nation from losing her sweet creamy center," a petition on the White House "We the People" website requests ...

(Excerpt) Read more at politico.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Culture/Society; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: bailout; bimbotwinkies; losers; lostjobs; nationalize; petition; twinkies; unionthugs
I really think this is a good idea. However, there could be a problem with copyright and trademark laws if the Hostess CEO resists the bailout. So, I would propose that the White House buy out the company after it closes its doors, hire the same union workers, give the company to the union, and then simply rename the products.

Cupcakes: Since this is also a generic word, one probably doesn't have to change the name. However, in case there is a problem, they could simply be sold as "White Housetess Cupcakes." This would have the advantage of reminding everyone of who saved this American institution.

Ding-Dongs: Simply delete the first word, and then market them as "Dongs." It will remind everyone of the Donkey party. (There is some danger of the product name reminding people of a certain part of the male anatomy, however, this may enhance sales. Memo - consult Sandra Fluke first. Also, this could be seen as unfair to women to have a product so closely association with things male, but see below).

Ho-Ho's: Do the same as with Ding-Dongs. The advantage is that the product, when marketed as "Ho's" or even "Hoes," will counteract and undo any unfairness perceived in a product called "Dongs." (Memo - consult Sandra Fluke on this as well).

Wonder Bread: Call it Plunder Bread. The advantage is that the name has meaning on several different levels, each of which could be used as focus groups dictate on different interest groups.

Twinkies: In honor of President Obama's Chicago power base, closest advisors, and political methodology these could be marketed as "Hinkies." With that name they may not sell quite as well in the Chicago area, but will be appreciated by the far greater number of potential consumers who have visited Chicago through the years and understand the meaning of this uniquely Chicagoan expression.

1 posted on 11/16/2012 4:09:36 PM PST by Belteshazzar
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To: Belteshazzar
What a laugh.Now that his last election is over all that remains is the Osama Obama Presidential Library in Havana and lots and lots of golf.
2 posted on 11/16/2012 4:12:05 PM PST by Gay State Conservative (Benghazi: What Did Baraq Know And When Did He Know It?)
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To: Belteshazzar

Fine, but we already have a full national capitol full of Ding Dongs and Twink(ie) lovers....


3 posted on 11/16/2012 4:15:51 PM PST by faithhopecharity
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To: Belteshazzar

This is only the first of many companies he will be asked to nationalize. Incredible half our country is so dumb.


4 posted on 11/16/2012 4:16:21 PM PST by Rennes Templar (Be positive: America is greater than Obama.)
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To: Belteshazzar

Finally we can focus on the important issues like the saving of the Twinkie and stop worrying about minor things like the total destruction of the American way of life.


5 posted on 11/16/2012 4:17:17 PM PST by waus (FUBO UFCMF, Just in case I stuttered, FUBO)
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To: Belteshazzar

Love it! hahahaha!


6 posted on 11/16/2012 4:18:36 PM PST by Irenic (The pencil sharpener and Elmer's glue is put away-- we've lost the red wheel barrow)
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To: Belteshazzar
"I really think this is a good idea."

NOT!


7 posted on 11/16/2012 4:19:34 PM PST by Ron C.
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To: Belteshazzar
We the undersigned, hereby request Barack Obama to immediately Nationalize the Twinkie industry and prevent our nation from losing her sweet creamy center,"

Wait a minute. It's not Twinkies--Barack Obama is the nation's sweet creamy center. FROWARD!!!!!

8 posted on 11/16/2012 4:22:43 PM PST by Lonely Bull
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To: Belteshazzar

Hilarious.


9 posted on 11/16/2012 4:23:09 PM PST by Gator113 (I would have voted for NEWT, now it's Romney & Ryan.~Just livin' life, my way~)
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To: Belteshazzar

KIll Twinkies forever, they promote murder ie Harvey Milk, San Francisco!


10 posted on 11/16/2012 4:23:49 PM PST by dalereed
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To: Belteshazzar
Ahh, sarcasm, thank goodness.
11 posted on 11/16/2012 4:32:47 PM PST by Navy Patriot (Join the Democrats, it's not Fascism when WE do it, and the Constitution and law mean what WE say.)
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To: Belteshazzar

Government Twinkies. I bet they’ll taste just great.


12 posted on 11/16/2012 4:34:03 PM PST by Tax-chick (Are you getting ready for the Advent Kitteh?)
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To: faithhopecharity
Fine, but we already have national capitol full of Ding Dongs and Twinkies...

Ahhhhhhh...

13 posted on 11/16/2012 4:34:58 PM PST by DoughtyOne (Hurricane Sandy..., a week later and 48 million Americans still didn't have power.)
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To: Belteshazzar

Haven’t these people heard about Moochelle’s healthy eating campaign? Hostess snacks are the very foods she wants to ban. Heck, why do these people think Hostess is bankrupt, anyway?


14 posted on 11/16/2012 4:35:46 PM PST by Wiser now (Socialism does not eliminate poverty, it guarantees it.)
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To: Ron C.

Yeah, what he said!

Color me stupid. I didn’t see this coming. I’m slipping...


15 posted on 11/16/2012 4:36:03 PM PST by DoughtyOne (Hurricane Sandy..., a week later and 48 million Americans still didn't have power.)
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To: Tax-chick

Yup. To paraphrase the old commercial: Tastes great. Less filling. Everything you would expect of government.


16 posted on 11/16/2012 4:36:32 PM PST by Belteshazzar (We are not justified by our works but by faith - De Jacob et vita beata 2 +Ambrose of Milan)
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To: Gay State Conservative

If Obama recieved a petition to save gay bath houses in Chicago,THEN you’d see him spring into action.For Twinkies,not so much.


17 posted on 11/16/2012 4:36:52 PM PST by Farmer Dean (stop worrying about what they want to do to you,start thinking about what you want to do to them)
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To: Gay State Conservative

People’s Patriotic Cream Filled Snack Cakes — “Pinkies” for short.

And they should be baked in ovens powered by Solyndra solar panels.


18 posted on 11/16/2012 4:38:18 PM PST by Yardstick
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To: Belteshazzar

Your plan is awesome.

Better than mine, which was to send the dismissed employees to law school and then let them become the new IRS agents to enforce Obamacare.


19 posted on 11/16/2012 4:38:25 PM PST by nascarnation (Baraq's bankruptcy: 2016)
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To: Belteshazzar

Hope you don’t mind, but I had to send to a few of my friends! I read this to my husband, and could not stop laughing through the whole thing. Man, I needed a good hearty laugh.


20 posted on 11/16/2012 4:40:21 PM PST by marygam (I have extra ducktape for anyone who needs to wrap their head.)
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To: Belteshazzar

They don’t care that he didn’t lift a finger to save 4 Americans but cupcakes are a different story.


21 posted on 11/16/2012 4:40:47 PM PST by bgill (We've passed the point of no return. Welcome to Al Amerika.)
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To: Belteshazzar

Like Rush said today, “Al Qaeda is alive, Twinkies are dead”. LOL! Good stuff! Thanks Barry!


22 posted on 11/16/2012 4:48:48 PM PST by FlingWingFlyer (We need Comprehensive Election Reform, NOW!)
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To: Belteshazzar

Are these people for real? They want to petition the WH, have they not heard of Michell’e food campaign? If it were up to her, twinkies and ding dongs would probably have been banned from grocery store shelves a long time ago.


23 posted on 11/16/2012 4:53:58 PM PST by psjones (u)
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To: DoughtyOne
"I didn’t see this coming."

LOL - the satire is great - but, trouble is, this just might happen!

We live in a nation that's proven to be more than half crazy... so just about anything mindless is possible.

24 posted on 11/16/2012 4:54:29 PM PST by Ron C.
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To: Belteshazzar

Twinkies - too big to fail.


25 posted on 11/16/2012 4:58:16 PM PST by Cheerio (Barry Hussein Soetoro-0bama=The Complete Destruction of American Capitalism)
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To: Belteshazzar

Barney Frank was about to sign until he saw that it said “Twinkies”, not “Twinks.”


26 posted on 11/16/2012 5:01:50 PM PST by dfwgator
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To: Cheerio
Twinkies - too big to fail.
Dr. Egon Spengler: I'm worried, Ray. It's getting crowded in there and all my data points to something big on the horizon.
Winston Zeddemore: What do you mean, big?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Well, let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning's sample, it would be a Twinkie... thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.
Dr. Ray Stantz:[coughs]
Winston Zeddemore: That's a big Twinkie!

27 posted on 11/16/2012 5:04:13 PM PST by COBOL2Java (The GOP-e said "Beat a Marxist with a Liberal!" What a colossal blunder.)
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To: Ron C.

No Ron, I honestly didn’t see it coming.

It makes perfect sense, but it just didn’t occur to me that this move was next.

I’m thinking about the stupid 18,000 going to be out of work, and they were thinking about the fall back position.

I’m just laughing at myself here. I generally try to figure out what the next move is, and I fell down on this.

The Left just doesn’t think like we do. They quit their jobs, and then demand the president scold their boss.

Wow, I coulda used that one a couple of times in my life. LOL

Ah, no thanks. I don’t need another mommy.

Thanks for the benefit of the doubt. Much appreciated. I just didn’t deserve it. I walked into the door myself. This black eye is all mine. I got it the old fashioned way. I earned it.

BTW: I agree, this just might happen...


28 posted on 11/16/2012 5:05:16 PM PST by DoughtyOne (Hurricane Sandy..., a week later and 48 million Americans still didn't have power.)
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To: Cheerio

I think that’s funny. Good one.


29 posted on 11/16/2012 5:06:43 PM PST by DoughtyOne (Hurricane Sandy..., a week later and 48 million Americans still didn't have power.)
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To: Belteshazzar
Don't stop there. People don't realize that Drake's Cakes is owned by Hostess.

That means no more Ring-Dings, Yodels, and Devil Dogs, too.

-PJ

30 posted on 11/16/2012 5:08:26 PM PST by Political Junkie Too (If you are the Posterity of We the People, then you are a Natural Born Citizen.)
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To: Political Junkie Too

This will require some thought. I am not sure that Drake’s Cakes named their products as felicitously as Hostess when it comes to mockery of demodork policies.


31 posted on 11/16/2012 6:08:32 PM PST by Belteshazzar (We are not justified by our works but by faith - De Jacob et vita beata 2 +Ambrose of Milan)
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To: Ron C.

You should have read more than the first line - actually a nice work of comical satire.


32 posted on 11/17/2012 2:55:11 AM PST by trebb (Allies no longer trust us. Enemies no longer fear us.)
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To: Belteshazzar
Everything you would expect of government.

And just imagine what they'll cost.

I hope nothing happens to the Little Debbie company: Swiss Cake Rolls are my ultimate "feeding my anxiety" food.

33 posted on 11/17/2012 3:25:14 AM PST by Tax-chick (Are you getting ready for the Advent Kitteh?)
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To: Belteshazzar

Names 2 and 3 are just bizarre to this non-American.
That was the best name they could come up with?.


34 posted on 11/18/2012 8:08:50 AM PST by the scotsman (i)
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To: the scotsman

Yes, well, there are just some Americanisms that can’t be fully explained by anything other than experience and usage. If it makes you feel any better - and it probably won’t - when we lived in Central Europe we had friends who were originally from Belfast, though at the time were Londoners. There were a few expressions they had that never quite connected for me.


35 posted on 11/18/2012 2:06:01 PM PST by Belteshazzar (We are not justified by our works but by faith - De Jacob et vita beata 2 +Ambrose of Milan)
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To: Belteshazzar

Was Governor Christie the first signature?


36 posted on 11/18/2012 2:06:49 PM PST by dfwgator
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To: Belteshazzar

LOL

Such as...?


37 posted on 11/18/2012 2:22:59 PM PST by the scotsman (i)
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