Skip to comments.Petition wants Obama to save Twinkies
Posted on 11/16/2012 4:09:33 PM PST by Belteshazzar
A new White House petition wants President Obama to nationalize the "Twinkie industry," saving the popular junk food from possible extinction.
"We the undersigned, hereby request Barack Obama to immediately Nationalize the Twinkie industry and prevent our nation from losing her sweet creamy center," a petition on the White House "We the People" website requests ...
(Excerpt) Read more at politico.com ...
Cupcakes: Since this is also a generic word, one probably doesn't have to change the name. However, in case there is a problem, they could simply be sold as "White Housetess Cupcakes." This would have the advantage of reminding everyone of who saved this American institution.
Ding-Dongs: Simply delete the first word, and then market them as "Dongs." It will remind everyone of the Donkey party. (There is some danger of the product name reminding people of a certain part of the male anatomy, however, this may enhance sales. Memo - consult Sandra Fluke first. Also, this could be seen as unfair to women to have a product so closely association with things male, but see below).
Ho-Ho's: Do the same as with Ding-Dongs. The advantage is that the product, when marketed as "Ho's" or even "Hoes," will counteract and undo any unfairness perceived in a product called "Dongs." (Memo - consult Sandra Fluke on this as well).
Wonder Bread: Call it Plunder Bread. The advantage is that the name has meaning on several different levels, each of which could be used as focus groups dictate on different interest groups.
Twinkies: In honor of President Obama's Chicago power base, closest advisors, and political methodology these could be marketed as "Hinkies." With that name they may not sell quite as well in the Chicago area, but will be appreciated by the far greater number of potential consumers who have visited Chicago through the years and understand the meaning of this uniquely Chicagoan expression.
Fine, but we already have a full national capitol full of Ding Dongs and Twink(ie) lovers....
This is only the first of many companies he will be asked to nationalize. Incredible half our country is so dumb.
Finally we can focus on the important issues like the saving of the Twinkie and stop worrying about minor things like the total destruction of the American way of life.
Love it! hahahaha!
Wait a minute. It's not Twinkies--Barack Obama is the nation's sweet creamy center. FROWARD!!!!!
KIll Twinkies forever, they promote murder ie Harvey Milk, San Francisco!
Government Twinkies. I bet they’ll taste just great.
Haven’t these people heard about Moochelle’s healthy eating campaign? Hostess snacks are the very foods she wants to ban. Heck, why do these people think Hostess is bankrupt, anyway?
Yeah, what he said!
Color me stupid. I didn’t see this coming. I’m slipping...
Yup. To paraphrase the old commercial: Tastes great. Less filling. Everything you would expect of government.
If Obama recieved a petition to save gay bath houses in Chicago,THEN you’d see him spring into action.For Twinkies,not so much.
People’s Patriotic Cream Filled Snack Cakes — “Pinkies” for short.
And they should be baked in ovens powered by Solyndra solar panels.
Your plan is awesome.
Better than mine, which was to send the dismissed employees to law school and then let them become the new IRS agents to enforce Obamacare.
Hope you don’t mind, but I had to send to a few of my friends! I read this to my husband, and could not stop laughing through the whole thing. Man, I needed a good hearty laugh.
They don’t care that he didn’t lift a finger to save 4 Americans but cupcakes are a different story.
Like Rush said today, “Al Qaeda is alive, Twinkies are dead”. LOL! Good stuff! Thanks Barry!
Are these people for real? They want to petition the WH, have they not heard of Michell’e food campaign? If it were up to her, twinkies and ding dongs would probably have been banned from grocery store shelves a long time ago.
LOL - the satire is great - but, trouble is, this just might happen!
We live in a nation that's proven to be more than half crazy... so just about anything mindless is possible.
Twinkies - too big to fail.
Barney Frank was about to sign until he saw that it said “Twinkies”, not “Twinks.”
Dr. Egon Spengler: I'm worried, Ray. It's getting crowded in there and all my data points to something big on the horizon.
Winston Zeddemore: What do you mean, big?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Well, let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning's sample, it would be a Twinkie... thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.
Dr. Ray Stantz:[coughs]
Winston Zeddemore: That's a big Twinkie!
No Ron, I honestly didn’t see it coming.
It makes perfect sense, but it just didn’t occur to me that this move was next.
I’m thinking about the stupid 18,000 going to be out of work, and they were thinking about the fall back position.
I’m just laughing at myself here. I generally try to figure out what the next move is, and I fell down on this.
The Left just doesn’t think like we do. They quit their jobs, and then demand the president scold their boss.
Wow, I coulda used that one a couple of times in my life. LOL
Ah, no thanks. I don’t need another mommy.
Thanks for the benefit of the doubt. Much appreciated. I just didn’t deserve it. I walked into the door myself. This black eye is all mine. I got it the old fashioned way. I earned it.
BTW: I agree, this just might happen...
I think that’s funny. Good one.
That means no more Ring-Dings, Yodels, and Devil Dogs, too.
This will require some thought. I am not sure that Drake’s Cakes named their products as felicitously as Hostess when it comes to mockery of demodork policies.
You should have read more than the first line - actually a nice work of comical satire.
And just imagine what they'll cost.
I hope nothing happens to the Little Debbie company: Swiss Cake Rolls are my ultimate "feeding my anxiety" food.
Names 2 and 3 are just bizarre to this non-American.
That was the best name they could come up with?.
Yes, well, there are just some Americanisms that can’t be fully explained by anything other than experience and usage. If it makes you feel any better - and it probably won’t - when we lived in Central Europe we had friends who were originally from Belfast, though at the time were Londoners. There were a few expressions they had that never quite connected for me.
Was Governor Christie the first signature?