[rightwingintelligentsia]

From the local police log:

Theft arrest: Zachary A. Smitley, 19, of Washington, was arrested Saturday by North Franklin police on a charge of theft for allegedly stealing a cellphone and beaded case from Samantha Harvey, 5 Zelt St., on Thursday. Harvey told police she did not know the last name of the person who stole the items but said he was wearing a Baltimore Ravens jacket and had green hair.

Moral of the story: Never trust a Ravens fan with green hair.

[Clint N. Suhks]

My hair is gray so I am A-OK...