Posted on 11/30/2012 7:10:34 AM PST by upchuck
How are we going to tip strippers? :)
i refuse to tip a 5 when they only earned 3. No more tips I guess. When they start auto-taking a tip, then I stay home, PERIOD.
This is an annual boob-doggle announcement.
4.4 billion over 30 years? Do the math; it’s a milliliter in the ocean.
Morons. With all the real issues that need attention these slackers in congress come up with this nonsense?
There are no words.
I meant “boon-doggle” but, reviewing some of the earlier replies, I guess I’ll keep it.
You tip your stripper with a measly dollar bill? Cheapskate!
An excellent example of what one must not do if we are expected to live in a civilized society.
There are three major reasons why strippers (male or female) should not be tipped with Susan B. Anthony dollars:
Logistics.
Not only do strippers gyrate more than your average working person, but one may often find them hanging upside-down, careening from the ceiling, and/or sliding seductively down long metal poles. While a habit of frequenting these types of activities is alone enough to prohibit most individuals from carrying pocket change, the stripper’s decision to wear little or no clothing further complicates the matter, as s/he has no pockets.
Most strippers maintain possession of their tips through the use of an elastic strap known as a garter. Said garter is placed around a leg or an arm and is designed by garter design specialists to accommodate loose dollar bills of any denomination. However, most garter manufacturers never intended their devices to be employed to harvest legal tender in coin form, and thus engaging such activity would undoubtedly void the garter’s warranty.
Only top-of-the-line, tailor-made garters provide a coin purse option, which is usually intended only for novelty purposes, such as providing individuals with “change” for their tip, or for the storage of a small tube of lipstick (and/or tabs of Ecstasy). And due to the added technology (additional silk, spandex, microprocessors, servos, etc.) required for the production of these high-end garters, they are highly expensive items and thus one is much less likely to find a stripper equipped with such a device at his or her local house of burlesque.
As a result, handing a stripper one or more Susan B. Anthony dollars (or any coins, for that matter) places said stripper (who is, presumably, nude) in the unfortunate position of having to hold the money in her hand, mouth, or some other area for the duration of the performance. This can be terribly distracting for both the stripper and the audience.
History.
The image of Susan Brownell Anthony was placed on the US dollar coin in 1979 in recognition of her years spent fighting for what we today call “women’s rights,” but what at the time were called “basic rights everyone with a dick already has.” Anthony was a leader in the women’s suffrage movement, the abolitionist movement, and other progressive campaigns.
And you want to take this beacon of hope and strength, this memorial of one of the United States’ greatest heroes—you want to take her shining face and shove it into some stripper’s nether regions?
You sick, twisted perv. You may think you’re being all ironic and cute, but you’re really just a dumbass with some kind of coin fetish who probably beats his wife with a claw hammer. We have a place for people like you; a van will be by shortly to collect your worthless ass. Please be out front, packed and ready to go.
Respect.
The problem with Susan B. Anthony dollars was that they looked and felt about the same size, shape, and color as a US quarter. This is why they were eventually discontinued and replaced with the gold-colored Sacagawea dollar coins, which are the same size, shape, and color as a US quarter that has been urinated on.
Regardless of what culture you’re from, according to contemporary stripping etiquette, tipping a stripper US$0.25 is the moral equivalent of giving your mother a nicely wrapped turd for her birthday. It’s simply not done; it is not only considered rude, but a slap to the face of morality itself.
And since your Susan B. Anthony dollar is very likely to be mistaken for a quarter (as explained above), the act of tipping said stripper with said coin is very likely to offend said stripper, who has done nothing but be nice to you, generously taking the time to display her breasts (or his dick, depending on what kind of joint you like to frequent) for you. Offending a person in this vulnerable position would likely prove to be an unwise move, as it may result in you receiving a stiletto heel to the forehead, a trauma that several case studies have revealed to be one of the leading causes of learning disabilities in America.
So in conclusion, don’t do it. Before you go to the strip club, hit the ATM, ask your mom, or go knock over a convenience store. Do not just use the local laundromat’s change machine. As a result, your stripper will be happier, one of the greatest women’s rights activists won’t be spinning in her grave, and you’ll still be able to read and process the English language when the evening is over. Trust me: you’ll thank yourself later.
I heard Timmy Turbo Tax is planning on getting rid of the penny and the nickel in January. Everything will go up by 10 cents. That won't contribute to inflation. /sarc
government costs need to be cut...
I do not like the dollar coins, but if it saves cash, then we have to get used to it..
http://www.npr.org/2011/06/28/137394348/-1-billion-that-nobody-wants
Wasnt this crap tried b4?
Only place I see the xisting ones is the self service car wash?
Place was turned into a coin wash
My thought exactly ... not that I would EVER frequent such a place
Why eliminate something that has no real value anyway?
oops, found that on the internet and so it must be true. I should have read it in it’s entirety first and left some out;/
I figure the real reason they want to get rid of the dollar is not to replace it with a coin, but to be able to print the gazillion dollar bill so we won’t need a wheelbarrow to buy a loaf of bread.
With all the real issues that need attention these slackers in congress come up with this nonsense?
**************
The Beast on the Potomac exists for itself. This is theater.
I just figured out a way to make a fortune! (well, if not a furtune, at least a lot of money)
I’ll sell plans on crafting wheelbarrows purely out of $1 bills. The metal parts will consist of pennies and nickels.
LOL 4 billion over 30 years.
How much would we save over 30 years if we stopped funding bike paths and hiking trails? How much will we save if we weren’t subsidizing failing green energy over the next 30 years? How much would we save over 30 years if we stopped subsidizing public transportation. How much would we save if we stopped funding the EPA and a whole alphabet of other federal agencies?
I haven’t even touched entitlements and could go on for a while and could still cut hundreds of billions before getting anywhere near politically sensitive issues.
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