the solution is simple. Any deviant that comes out is shunned.
That is presently the situation with most normal people who embrace the live and let live position.
Militant or overt gays have never been and will never be in my close circle of friends, or even acquaintances. That is not to say I don't interact with gays.
Militant anti-gay behavior is no different in my daily existence as militant gays are. I don't support either extreme.