To CNN: Me? No, no, no, no, not me. Went to the bottom when the boat sank. Not even a rubber band gun or spit wad gun left in my arsenal. So report THAT to your Dear Leader, you mf’ers!
(However, since gun control absolutely DOES NOT work, I can get one WHEN-EVVVVVVVV-EERRR I feel like it. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it.)