Seven Things Parents Can Do Post-Newtown Without Government

These simple common-sense steps are adapted from a post I published on my blog after the horrific Newtown, Conn., massacre. Our hearts ache, but we are not completely helpless or hopeless in the face of evil and the unknown. And we are not alone. This Christmas, cherish life, keep faith and practice self-empowerment.

7. Teach our kids about the acts of heroes in times of crisis. Tell them about Newtown teacher Vicki Soto's self-sacrifice and bravery. Tell them about Clackamas mall shopper Nick Meli, a concealed-carry permit-holder whose quick action may have prevented additional deaths. Tell them about Family Research Council security guard Leo Johnson, who protected workers from a crazed gunman. Tell them about the heroic men in the Aurora movie theater who gave their lives taking bullets for their loved ones. Tell them about armed Holocaust Museum security guard Stephen Tyrone Johns, who died fighting back against the museum's nutball attacker. Tell them about armed private citizen Jeanne Assam, who gunned down the New Life Church attacker in Colorado Springs and saved untold lives.

6. Train our kids. When they see something troublesome or wrong, say something. Students, teachers and parents, if a young classmate exhibits bizarre or violent behavior toward himself or herself, report it right away. If it gets ignored, say it louder. Don't give up. Don't just shrug off the "weirdo" saying or doing dangerous things, and don't just hope someone else will act.

5. Limit our kids' time online, and control their exposure to desensitizing cultural influences. Turn off the TV. Get them off the bloody video games. Protect them from age-inappropriate Hollywood violence. Make sure they are active and engaged with us and the world, and not pent up in a room online every waking moment.

4. If you see a parent struggling with an out-of-control child, don't look the other way. If you are able to offer any kind of help (your time, resources, wisdom), do it. Don't wait.

3. We still don't know the medical condition of the Newtown shooter. But we do know that social stigmas are strong. We don't need government to take immediate, individual action to break those stigmas. There are millions of children, teens and young adults suffering from very real mental illnesses. Be silent no more about your family's experiences, your struggles, your pains and your fears. Speak up.

2. Prepare and protect your community. Joe Cascarelli of Westcliffe, Colo., wrote me about how he and other citizens took their children's safety into their own hands. "It was 10 years ago that our sheriff put an ad in the local paper to initiate the formation of the Sheriff's Posse. About 40 of us volunteered; today we have about 20 active Posse members. Eight years ago, the Posse command staff offered to provide the local school district with daily security patrols when the school was in session, at school athletic events and during school dances including the annual prom." Law enforcement conducted emergency drills, training to prepare for mass shootings and joint sessions with first responders.

"The Posse has continued its patrols at school events and during the school day. Posse patrols have become a visible, accepted part of our community," Cascarelli told me. "Anyone intent on harm would see armed uniformed personnel at the school daily. The Posse even has an Amber Alert at the local rodeo. When an atrocity like Columbine, Virginia Tech and most recently in Newtown, Conn., happens, all we hear is carefully crafted words of grief, heartrending interviews with parents, and TV's talking heads with knee-jerk 'solutions.' Well, our little community has implemented a local solution. Trained, armed volunteers daily protect our children. What is the matter with the rest of the country? Where are concerned parents and citizens willing to carve out some time to provide similar security?"

1. Teach our kids to value and respect life by valuing and respecting them always. And in loving and valuing life, teach them also not to fear death. The Catholic hymn "Be Not Afraid" offers time-tested solace and sage advice:

If you stand before the pow'r of hell and death is at your side, know that I am with you, through it all.

End the insanity of “diagnosing” normal, negative childhood behavior as “syndromes” and “disorders.” Tantrums, selfishness and other infant, toddler and childhood behavior is INNATE! It is the PARENTS job to train them away from this sort of thing. Empathy is NOT something instinctive. It needs to be TAUGHT and ENHANCED.

Stop prescribing MEDS for such natural, negative behavior and instead provide, exercise, fresh air, chores around the home sans allowance (children need to feel they are contributing to the family) wholesome, home cooked meals, limit junk/fast food with chemicals and additives and most of all bring back DISCIPLINE!

Train children that there are CONSEQUENCES for actions both good and bad. Stop shielding and enabling children; stop suing the teacher for giving your child a bad grade.

Don’t take your child’s word for it. It’s quite possible that Junior’s homework is NOT done. LYING is a natural, innate attempt at self preservation and escaping consequences of our actions.

Your little Johnny or Suzy is NOT as innocent as the wind driven snow. Lying starts almost as soon as speech develops. It’s your job as a parent to SEE THROUGH your children’s shenanigans, not go into denial or get angry at other adults who point it out!

I know all of the above flies in the face of the government agencies set up to eliminate the father’s disciplinary role, equating all correction with “abuse” and all those psychobabble professions that are making BILLIONS off of the modern day “free ranging you child” movement (and it’s sad results) which is a great disservice to today’s youth and tomorrow’s adults.

You can be sure that Adam Lanza was parented in the “modern way:”

1. Dad does NOT call the shots, mom is superior and has the final say no matter what (when married and after divorce—government backed; if you think I exaggerate, try going through family court as a white male; the modern day Pariah/whipping boy and all around modern day scapegoat of all the world’s ills)

2. Kid has what I call “A.S.S.” (adult spousal status) meaning all the BENEFITS and PRIVILEGES of being an adult during childhood, yet none of the responsibilities. Example: “what house do you thing we should buy, Junior?” Mom inappropriately confides in child and makes him/her privvy to adult conversation as a “shoulder to cry on” or “mommy’s little man” further confusing the (especially male) child and causing anger and resentment. Mom assigns more authority to her child(ren) than she does her own husband/father of the child(ren)

3. see #2—kid has decision making authority in the house many times above and beyond the parent’s authority (thanks Child Protective Services; a tool of the disgruntled “single mom” against dad for having “moved on.”—no real child abuse is ever rooted out due to the fact that most REAL child abuse occurs in, ahem, community organizer neighborhoods and thusly is politically incorrect to prosecute)

4. kid is basically a prisoner in his/her own house—constantly being “parented” by 24/7 video games and such enlightening, educational programming such as “Sponge Bob” /s

5. kid has a “drive thru” diet—consistently “kid friendly” (junk food, snacks, fast food, restaurant food)

6. Parents competing with each other to see who can BEFRIEND Junior instead of PARENT Junior; mostly by spoiling said child with material goods.

7. Blame everyone, teachers, authority figures for the failing of the child; disrespect is tolerated from the child in a misguided attempt to keep from “stifling” the child’s ego. Take the child’s word for things at all costs over any adult’s.

8. The phoney self-esteem/overpraise movement where real praise and achievements lose all meaning. Everyone gets an “A” and competition is virtually eliminated as it’s healthy for the child’s “self esteem.” Praising children for merely existing: Example: “YAY Johnny, you remembered to exhale. . .YAY!” (said to an 8 yr old Johnny). The bar of expectation and standards are set at below ground level. Children are relegated to a status of pampered pet and/or royalty.

9. Chores are simply optional; children get allowance payments just because. Work and reward are NOT associated as the misguided parent purposely makes that disconnect.

10. Giving child an inflated sense of undeserved self esteem by telling said child that he/she will be the next American Idol star, The Voice Star, Lady Gaga. Fame and Fortune are held out as glittering goals of common pop culture mania sets in. Academic studies and learning a needed trade go by the wayside.

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