Posted on 12/28/2012 7:44:29 AM PST by Uncle Chip
A music theater student has won a stalking order against her parents who admitted they installed monitoring software on her computer and phone to ensure that she succeeded.
David and Julie Ireland have been ordered to have no contact with their 21-year-old daughter - their only child - before September 23, 2013 and must keep 500 feet away from her at all times.
The unusual case concerns Aubrey Ireland, a musical theater major who regularly fills lead roles at Cincinnati's prestigious College-Conservatory of Music and has made the Dean's List every quarter.
Despite this success, her parents often drove 600 miles from their home in Leawood, Kansas, to visit her unannounced and to accuse her of promiscuity, of using drugs and of having mental issues.
They even informed her head of department that she had mental problems and that they were considering going to court to force her to get treatment, the Cincinnati Enquirer reported.
When she cut off all contact, they stopped paying her tuition and demanded she return the $66,000 they had spent. The judge refused and the college gave her a full scholarship for her final year.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
Her parents are probably correct. Wait......and see.
” they stopped paying her tuition and demanded she return the $66,000 they had spent”
There is the first problem. Don’t pay her tuition. Kids just don’t get it, if you parent is gullible enough to pay your tuition (especially to a $$$ private school) then they own you, it is an investment and they expect a return, that being success.
I bet this drama started long before college by parents who showered little princess with attention and every material thing she wanted. Now princess wants to grow up but still have mummy and daddy pay the bills.
Hope when she slips completely off the ledge no one (but her) gets hurt.
there is some debate on an earlier thread on if her “civil union” is with a guy or a girl.
She looks too pretty to be one of those. but it is possible.
I have no idea if there’s something wrong with her, but her parents are clearly nutbags.
Isn’t this thread posted already, and brimming with raging nutbaggery?
Having known insane parents of normal children, I won’t be quick to side with the parents on this. And paying tuition or not, any parent that computer bugs a 21 year old deserves to be disowned, mocked and shunned.
When 18 year olds fight and die in war daily (and history shows responsibility at far earlier ages), no one will ever tell me that a 21 year old needs to be spied on for their own good and have me believe it.
They should have cut her off at 18, of course
Hope when she slips completely off the ledge no one (but her) gets hurt.
Without success, she will just become another 0bamabot.
Finally some sense on the thread. She’s an adult, and the parents were out of line. Adults are entitled to make their own mistakes, but parents aren’t entitled to wiretap their adult children in order to prevent that.
Apparently she had full ride offers her parents passed on. They WANTED the control of paying her tuition . “Comply or we cut you off”
That is total crap. Otherwise, in any normal situation, I have no issue with a parent cutting off a kid at 18. But then they also relinquish the right to bitch about happens later.
I have a hard time picturing any ‘normal’ historical parent prior to doctor Spock thinking they have the right to control the life of an adult child.
When parents can pay for their child’s education, ideally, it’s a gift of love to ensure their child has the best start possible in adulthood, especially given college expenses are so staggeringly high. Unfortunately, some parents believe it’s some license instead to control and abuse their children well into adulthood. Having had similarly crazy parents, I guarantee these two would have continued making their daughter’s life a living Hades until they died or put her in an early grave. Such parents believe their child “owes” them for the rest of their lives - there is no love behind any generosity they extend. It’s all a dangling carrot or a leash.
Perfect summation. Perfect.
Out of control, controlling parents.
Paying the college expenses doesn’t entitle ANYONE to completely dictate and spy on the student’s life.
Demanding the $66,00 back is just plain stupid.
The child of such parents would have been better leaving at 18 and making her own way ,especially if she is that good academically and in her chosen field.
There are quite a few parents who try to have success and fame through their children and the most obsessed parents attempt to deny ANY independent actions or thought.
Or the parents may just have consuming,genuine-to-them fear the child will do something,anything, not “right” in the eyes of the parents.
Such parents can ruin a child’s chances for success and maturity,or at least severely delay those things.
I KNOW,from personal experience.
” there is no love behind any generosity they extend.”
My ex is like that with our sons. When confronted at various times with her abuses the standard defense is “after all I’ve done for you”.
Could the parents in this case be excessive? Maybe and maybe not. Who better to know their daughter’s “normal” behavior vs one they are now defining as a mental illness. If the parents were such helicopter/controlling people.. why did they agree to let her go away to college (some 600 miles away?).
Reminds me somewhat of a close friend that I have that is dealing with her sophomore aged college daughter. The first year was great... honor roll, etc.. However, this year is diving fast. Poor grades, too much partying and has not lived up to the agreements with her folks (that is, stay on tract with the nursing degree she chose and get a part time job to help with the rent/tuition/car insurance. My friend called me and asked what I thought she should do: I said that there was a verbal contract between the parents and daughter prior to her going away to school. That contract has not been lived up to by the daughter. Thus, bring her home and now before they get the phone call of her in an accident, pregnant, etc.. If they want, enroll her in a community college and have her live at home. My friend’s fear? That she won’t come back ever and cut herself off from the family. So, I think this is a power position by the kid... do it my way or you’ll lose a child. I said: let them live on their own and see what life is really about. Sometimes reality is a far better teacher.
They were within their rights to cut off her funding if she doesn’t live up to their standards, but they are not within their rights to harass her and threaten her like they did.
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