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12 Liberal Pledges for the New Year
Townhall.com ^ | December 31, 2012 | Katie Kieffer

Posted on 12/31/2012 5:10:39 AM PST by Kaslin

Here are twelve comical but true resolutions that every liberal should make for 2013:

1.) Resolve to spend time with gun-owners. I have a liberal friend who says she would rather be in the same room as a cobra snake than a gun, even an unloaded gun. Guns really, really scare her. But guns don’t kill. People kill. Whether the tool is a gun or a knife or a baseball bat, unconscionable people kill, not the inanimate objects in their hands.

Banning all tools and machinery will not turn bad people into good people. Doing so would make us more vulnerable to attack and throw us back into the Stone Age. We need guns for self-defense; we need knives for cutting; we need bats to play baseball.

Whose house would you rather stay at in a shady neighborhood? A gun-owner’s house, where you can rest assured that there is a tool locked up in a safe that someone knows how to use to protect you if an intruder comes in the middle of the night? Or, a house without a gun?

By spending time around gun-owners, I think liberals will realize that owning a gun, a knife or a baseball bat will not turn you into a mass murderer. But a sick conscience or a mental illness can.

David Nathan, a doctoral candidate in counseling psychology at the University of Saint Thomas, points out: “No one has the power to keep guns away from everyone who would use them on innocent people. …Every single young man who committed mass murder over the past few years had a mental illness. We will never know what would have happened if someone had reached out to them [with counseling or friendship] before they acted.”

I think liberals will realize that guns are tools of self-defense and that banning guns will not eliminate murder when they get comfortable around guns and the people who legally possess them.

2.) Resolve to stop watching Rachel Maddow. Her negative attitude is ruining your day and you do not even realize it. At a minimum, admit that her show is rooted in hyperbole and not real news.

3.) Resolve to eat a real hamburger. Just one. If you prefer, choose a burger from free-range cattle. I guarantee it won’t kill you; it will leave you feeling full for once.

4.) Resolve to admit that the TSA scanners are carcinogenic. You attend to your body with bike helmets, yoga and organic produce. And then you negate your efforts by walking through the TSA scanners. Admit it: scanners are not keeping you safe and they are a hazard to your health.

5.) Resolve to buy property. I don’t care if all you can afford is a plot the size of a doghouse. Buy some land and hold it. Experience ownership first-hand and you will finally get upset when the federal government tries to violate your Fourth Amendment rights through the use of domestic drones.

6.) Resolve to travel to Europe. You’ll realize that public transportation is not all it’s cracked up to be. When you return home, you will have a new appreciation for wide, open spaces and the freedom to drive cars bigger than a Power Wheels Barbie Jammin’ Jeep Wrangler.

7.) (For liberal ladies) Resolve to let a guy open a door for you. Accepting this small act of chivalry is actually empowering—not demeaning—because it shows that you appreciate respect from males.

8.) (For liberal guys) Resolve to be a man. Enough said.

9.) Resolve to protest a stupid rule. Men are imperfect and therefore human laws are not inherently good; the United States has many laws on the books that violate natural law. Only God can make perfect rules. So, before you blindly follow a federal law, ask yourself: “Will I be doing the right thing by following this rule?” If your answer is “no,” protest the rule because it is probably immoral.

10.) Resolve to save endangered babies. Stop fretting about endangered animals in a rainforest thousands of miles away and realize that babies are endangered in your own back yard. Stop supporting federal funds for Planned Parenthood; encourage your friends to respect life.

11.) Resolve to tell President Obama to bring the troops home. If you hate war so much, why don’t you pressure Obama to pull the troops out of the Middle East?

12.) Resolve to read the Steve Jobs biography by Walter Isaacson. Jobs is your hero; you love Apple products; and you wouldn’t think of attending an Occupy Wall Street Protest without your iPad. But Jobs was a capitalist. He despised collectivism (see page 39) and he wanted politicians to reduce taxes and regulations and stop pushing the false notion that everyone needs a four-year college degree (see pages 544-546).

Happy 2013 to liberals one and all!


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: babies; capitalism; guns; liberals; meateaters; privateproperty; rachelmaddow; tsa; ustroops

1 posted on 12/31/2012 5:10:50 AM PST by Kaslin
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To: Kaslin
1.) Resolve to spend time with gun-owners.

Sorry, but I DO NOT want liberals around me.

Democrat neighbor who dislikes guns is on his own. I can not and will not be bothered if he has a problem.

2 posted on 12/31/2012 5:14:59 AM PST by Tupelo (I'm an old man and most people hate me, but I don't like them either so that makes it all even.)
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To: Kaslin

Resolve to grab as much “free” stuff as possible. (Oops, can’t say that out loud)


3 posted on 12/31/2012 5:21:18 AM PST by jughandle
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To: Kaslin

Guns really, really scare her.”

...my liberal Aunt from Maine told me once that she “is scared of guns” I told her that was a result of 50 years of New England liberal brainwashing and that she should try reading portions of the constitution instead of “O” magazine for once. She hasn’t talked to me since.


4 posted on 12/31/2012 5:24:33 AM PST by albie
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To: albie
"...my liberal Aunt from Maine told me once that she “is scared of guns” I told her that was a result of 50 years of New England liberal brainwashing and that she should try reading portions of the constitution instead of “O” magazine for once. She hasn’t talked to me since."

Bonus points, liberalism cauterized.

5 posted on 12/31/2012 5:49:29 AM PST by Truth29
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To: albie

#13. Move to Cuba.

IMHO


6 posted on 12/31/2012 5:56:58 AM PST by ripley
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To: albie

#13. Move to Cuba.

IMHO


7 posted on 12/31/2012 6:01:52 AM PST by ripley
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To: Kaslin

1.) Resolve to spend time with gun-owners.

It would be too much for their tender sensibilities. At our Thanksgiving gathering, my brother-in-law and our nephews were talking about all the hand guns they have bought through the years, comparing their specifications and relative merits. I’m sure a liberal hearing that conversation would have headed to the bathroom with hand over mouth. :-)


8 posted on 12/31/2012 6:08:43 AM PST by rwa265
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To: Kaslin
Well....Resolution #1 has a problem with me.

1) Recently...I ( a conservative) resolved to shun government school teachers and employees. They are supporting, upholding, and establishing an evil institution that hurts children and is threatening our continuing freedom. They are too evil, too stupid, or too much of a Useful Idiot to be a friend.

2) After the 2000 Florida recount I realized that Democrats we not people of goodwill. They are too evil, to stupid, or too much of a Useful Idiot to be a friend.

I shun these people. Try as they might, they aren’t going to be spending time with me.

9 posted on 12/31/2012 6:29:10 AM PST by wintertime
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To: albie

Neighbor across the street:”I don’t believe in guns.” Believe? These people are walking recorders on playback mode...no thought, just chants.


10 posted on 12/31/2012 6:36:04 AM PST by ThePatriotsFlag (...and to the Republic for which it STOOD...)
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To: Kaslin

I resolved this year NOT to watch TV with same sex actors being themselves and same sex couples raising children. Don’t care HOW funny these programs are said to be. Also, just cannot stand men without lisps talking with one in a woman’s voice tone! They need to be hit with a cattle prod and see what their real voice sounds like.


11 posted on 12/31/2012 6:43:27 AM PST by YouGoTexasGirl
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To: Kaslin
13.) Take a shower. Repeat often.
12 posted on 12/31/2012 6:49:02 AM PST by central_va ( I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: Kaslin
I would change # 11 to: Resolve to tell President Obama to stop sending troops to the Middle East and Africa. If you hate war so much, why don’t you pressure Obama to pull the troops out of the Middle East?

Recently a dozen or so mini-deployments were made sending troops to Africa on various missions. From these little efforts and mini-deployments Vietnam grew and the Balkans (still there) and .. and ..

Either go heavy and ugly early or don't go at all.

13 posted on 12/31/2012 8:12:54 AM PST by Nip (BOHEICA and TANSTAAFL - both seem very appropriate today.)
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To: Kaslin

A lot of liberals practice #1 but don’t know it.

With the constant whining and threatening confiscation of guns that’s been going on for decades, prudent gun owners have learned to keep the details of their collections to themselves. Guns and ammo are flying off the shelves recently, but you don’t see people proudly parading them down the street. Ammo dumps consisting of thousands of rounds are quietly building up in private homes everywhere.


14 posted on 12/31/2012 8:26:47 AM PST by Cyber Liberty (Obama considers the Third World morally superior to the United States.)
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To: Tupelo

In the alternative, I will be happy to lend my cobra to the cause.


15 posted on 12/31/2012 9:48:27 AM PST by DPMD
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To: rwa265; Kaslin
I have a liberal friend who says she would rather be in the same room as a cobra snake than a gun

I say put her in a room with BOTH and see what happens. I suspect that liberal's attitude would change dramatically. Dramatically.

16 posted on 12/31/2012 11:00:15 AM PST by Hardastarboard (Bringing children to America without immigration documents is child abuse. Let's end it.)
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