a = 3, b = -4, c = 10
Posted on 01/19/2013 8:58:45 AM PST by EXCH54FE
A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. 'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle." When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.
It must have been the degree of the offense that got him in trouble.
When these things are outlawed..only criminals will have them. We are living in a totally Bizarro world...sadly, one of our own making.
Looked at from any angle only one conclusion can be reached. The perp must die!
Something does not add up. I think the NEA is triangulating; even postulating that the variables of math are too rational for the voting public. If the public understood arithmetic they might understand the budget and how a cut is not a cut and trillion is a thousand times bigger than a billion. I am afraid this is a sine of the times, integrating political correctness while failing to differentiate powers of irrational utopianism. Ignorance is bliss when one is trying to enslave a population, and there are smiles on our would-be overlords.
Well, it’s about time somebody drew the line.
Already posted this as a comment. Still funny!
Treason squared.
Yep, to save the chilrun we need a ban on slide rules. I have the one my Dad once used to design the electrical systems for transit cars for the NYC Subway. He kept it next to his newfangled computer he used until he retired on his 80th birthday. Were he not deceased, he’d probably be an accessory to murder every time a vagrant tosses a citizen onto the tracks.
Thank you everyone, I needed a smile this morning.
Kim Komando, Digital Goddess, this morning on her radio show related the story of a woman in Belgium who got into her car, programmed her GPS unit for an airport 38 miles away. (City, airport, and GPS unit not named).
TWO DAYS LATER, she was still traveling and was in Crotia.
Talk about someone who should not be driving!
Errr, I think not, a “Public School Teacher” would have immediate union legal aid and, quickly there after, the apologies from all concerned. Now a “PRIVATE SCHOOL” instructor, that I would believe!
However, I ask you to imagine this, a “Home School Parent” being caught with these instruments of mathematical computation. Why, just think of the consequences, the child might actually learn that “1+1” does not equal Obama and that the laws of mathematics and physics do not care about being “FAIR!” What a horror!
Since a compass can be used to stab someone, maybe the TSA does take them away.
Our government must believe he could actually teach our kids something of value.
Damn.... I still have two K&E slide rules. Back before I retired, we had some summer interns working in the lab. I was telling them, that when I was their age, all we had was a slide rule. They didn’t know the purpose of a slide rule. I brought one in the next day and gave them a lesson. They were impressed......!
a = 3, b = -4, c = 10
Americans put men on the moon and brought them home safely with slide rules and mechanical calculators.
Kids today can't do short division or simple multiplication without an electronic calculator.
Sad.
Nice job Pythagoras
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