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Our Royalty: Bangs Aren't All Michelle Obama And Kate Middleton Have In Common (NPR)
NPR ^ | January 20, 2013 | Linda Holmes

Posted on 01/20/2013 12:51:29 AM PST by Drango

Ask yourself this question: How weird would it be if you changed your hair and it was on the news?

No, seriously. Pull back from everything you know about celebrity and pretend it's about you. You change your hair. You decide, "Hey, you know what? It's been long for a while; what if I went a little shorter?" And so you go a little shorter. And then it is on the news.

That's what happened to Michelle Obama when new photographic evidence emerged that proved — no paperwork needed, no investigative journalism, no shoe-leather reporting — that she has bangs. SHE HAS BANGS! If this were an old black-and-white movie, this would be the part where you'd suddenly see people madly running to telegraph machines and reporters hurrying to the phones to call their editors, and you'd hear "beeeeep-be-deep-deep-beetle-deep-deep" as the news began to spread. SHE HAS BANGS! BANGS BANGS BANGS! The headline "Breaking: Michelle Obama Has Bangs!" really exists. As does the headline "Michelle Obama's Bangs Sparking Hair Revolution." As does, inevitably, a headline beginning "She Bangs." (That's a Ricky Martin reference, youngsters.)

It's not just current first ladies to whom this happens, either. If you don't believe me, Google "Hillary Clinton scrunchies." Or check out the entire Daily Beast slideshow from 2010 called "First Lady Hair."

You know who else's bangs caused a stir recently? Kate Middleton's.

And in fact, as stern as Americans are about not having or believing in royalty, and about presidents not being kings, it's remarkable how much first ladies feel, at least in pop culture, like prominent members of a royal family — particularly modern ones like Middleton or, for that matter, Princess Diana. The role of first lady has become essentially to (1) engage in attention-grabbing advocacy for a chosen cause or causes, (2) try to be an ambassador of likability, (3) get your picture taken a lot while people fuss disproportionately over what you're wearing, and (4) have lots and lots of people hate your guts and complain about your uselessness and/or profligacy while others admire you to the point where they will line up to see you.

You instantly become one of the most famous women in the world despite the fact that absolutely nobody voted for you, and the role may or may not be anything you ever particularly wanted, but it came with the guy you married.

First ladies must do neither too much nor too little, or they become the target of jokes. Too much, and they are perceived as meddlers and harpies; too little, and they are perceived as out-of-touch airheads. Don't spend enough time on their appearance, and they are mocked for their bad hair or bad clothes; spend too much time on it, and they are mocked for preening. They have to have exactly the right gown when a gown is required, but they also must be dedicated to working hard for good causes — as with Michelle Obama's initiative against childhood obesity or Barbara Bush's literacy foundation. They are feared for their ability to distract and burden men with important work to do; if you've seen Sally Field keening as Mary Todd Lincoln, you know this.

Admittedly, there are some things we do with first ladies that would probably never happen to Kate Middleton: Family Circle, in 2012, still had a Presidential Cookie Recipe contest between Michelle Obama and Ann Romney because apparently, expecting all wives to represent with cookie recipes, no matter what their backgrounds or interests, is still a thing we're doing. The idealized notion of a first lady contains an air of domesticity that doesn't apply as strongly in royal settings. A duchess has to be a hostess, but she doesn't have to pretend she cuts up all the finger sandwiches herself. (Vanity Fair says that Kate Middleton does, in fact, cook— and even do her own grocery shopping — but she likely doesn't have to do it to be loved.)

And that's really at the heart of what makes first lady such a strange job: You have to be both regal and normal, both above us and one of us. With presidents, there's certainly some of that, as suitability for beer-sharing emerges as a widely discussed voting metric. But when you're the president, policy and politics tend to dominate what people think of you. With first ladies, image tends to be dominant (which is probably part of why people sometimes like first ladies whose husbands they don't support at all and why first ladies are often more popular than their husbands).

A first lady is, culturally speaking, a little like a temporary princess who doesn't have to do her own laundry but who we must believe could and would do her own laundry, lest we think she's kind of ... you know, too princess-y. We demand something both extraordinary and ordinary, both a fantasy figure and a down-to-earth mom. And the closest analog for that really is the combination of majesty and relatability that people now want from British royalty. It's like the women who said on the day of the royal wedding that they loved the personal touch Prince William has with people — like his mum, not like his dad. His mum was new-style royalty; his dad is old-style royalty. Prince Charles would never make it as a first lady.

Show up at events looking great. Wear the right designers. Smile. Be clever but not too full of yourself. Get your hair cut in a way that's cool, but not too cool. Have a cause you care about. Touch people's hands. Represent something greater than yourself. Present a perfect picture of a happy marriage all the time. Love your children transparently and protect them fiercely, but let us see them a lot and make sure they don't screw up. Don't expect to get only the attention you asked for.

Princesses (or duchesses) and first ladies might very well get a lot of the same advice, even beyond the importance of trimming your bangs.


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: afrisquatch; beauty; fashion; flotusmichelle; obama; royals; royalty
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OH my...NPR compares Michelle Obama to royalty.

I just threw up.

1 posted on 01/20/2013 12:51:43 AM PST by Drango
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To: Drango
ITS QUITE CLEAR that michelle wants to begin to copy the look of Argentine president and former first lady Maria fernandez and her HAIR will get longer

Jarrett wants MCHELL as the successor to her husband Barak Obama...who isnt 100% black...obama thinks way ahead and recreating MOCHELL as YOUNGER is exactly the way the Argentine First Lady approached election...onlythe BDR or brain dead republicans, led by Boehner could miss this as NO ONE has held them responsible for the sequester fiasco they signed onto...is there no one in the party that has a brain on his head ? for example what was the value of all the data OBAMA used from the alleged Google Twitter Facebook used in the campaign ? why wasnt the same made available to the idiots that ran the ROMNEY CAMPAIGN ?

2 posted on 01/20/2013 1:04:53 AM PST by Understand the stimulus
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To: Drango

How many dogs do you think were harmed to make that wig for the Moo?


3 posted on 01/20/2013 1:06:14 AM PST by funfan
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To: Drango

i’m not royalty, but i change up my hair style and it’s all over Facebook... haha... well, within my circle of friends...


4 posted on 01/20/2013 1:07:30 AM PST by latina4dubya ( self-proclaimed tequila snob)
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To: Drango
Michael Glover: Paul Emsley's Duchess of Cambridge portrait is catastrophic
The first official portrait makes Kate Middleton's cheeks look hamsterish, and her face saggy and a touch dropsical, writes Michael Glover
5 posted on 01/20/2013 1:12:11 AM PST by Berlin_Freeper (Better safe than sorry.)
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To: Drango

Scary

6 posted on 01/20/2013 1:32:19 AM PST by onyx (FREE REPUBLIC IS HERE TO STAY! DONATE MONTHLY! IF YOU WANT ON SARAH PALIN''S PING LIST, LET ME KNOW)
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To: onyx

At 10 minutes to 2:00 A.M., closing time in many bars in Michigan, this is what passes for a perfect 10 for those still wishing to hook up.

You can pour a vat of perfume on a pig; it’s still a pig.


7 posted on 01/20/2013 2:15:34 AM PST by RushLake (Why do people have to be compelled by law to join the "democratic" goonion?)
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To: Drango

Mo an “ambassador of likeability”? Oh, puh-leazze.


8 posted on 01/20/2013 2:39:58 AM PST by Silentgypsy (If you love your freedom, thank a vet.)
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To: Drango

New wig for the First Lard Butt.


9 posted on 01/20/2013 2:59:01 AM PST by Iron Munro (I Miss America, don't you?)
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To: Iron Munro

just another distraction.

axe handles as a unit of measure comes to mind.


10 posted on 01/20/2013 3:03:21 AM PST by Einherjar (What are they gonna do, cut my hair off and send me to Nam ?)
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To: Drango

Sadly, in Honey Boo Boo’s America now, the Obama’s ARE royalty!!!! Our country has turned into a manufacturer of STUPID IDIOTS...we are turning them out in HUGE NUMBERS!


11 posted on 01/20/2013 3:06:02 AM PST by Ann Archy (ABORTION........the HUMAN sacrifice to the god of CONVENIENCE.)
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To: onyx

OMG!! SHe looks HORRIBLE...I had no idea her hair looked like that!! BAD WIG???


12 posted on 01/20/2013 3:07:23 AM PST by Ann Archy (ABORTION........the HUMAN sacrifice to the god of CONVENIENCE.)
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To: onyx

You never go full Wookiee.


13 posted on 01/20/2013 3:15:16 AM PST by fieldmarshaldj (Resist We Much)
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To: Drango

When I was a boy, all the Colored women I knew had kinky hair. Now they all seem to have straight hair. What has happened over the last 40 years? It seems that Colored people are trying to seem more “White.”


14 posted on 01/20/2013 3:25:33 AM PST by Cowboy Bob (Soon the "invisible hand" will press the economic "reset" button.)
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To: onyx

SCARY indeed. Whoever came up with that hair do is as mistaken as the rest of that crowd.


15 posted on 01/20/2013 3:34:00 AM PST by bytesmith
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To: onyx

SCARY indeed. Whoever came up with that hair do is as mistaken as the rest of that crowd.


16 posted on 01/20/2013 3:34:17 AM PST by bytesmith
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To: Cowboy Bob

Think Michael Jackson.


17 posted on 01/20/2013 3:35:21 AM PST by presently no screen name
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To: Drango
Yes, they have so much in common:

______________________________________________________________________


18 posted on 01/20/2013 3:42:32 AM PST by SkyPilot
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To: Drango

Me too. She looks older and uglier if that is possible.


19 posted on 01/20/2013 3:46:37 AM PST by freekitty (Give me back my conservative vote; then find me a real conservative to vote for)
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Comment #20 Removed by Moderator

To: Drango
The sycophant media adulation is sickening.

Michelle Obama: "All this for a damn flag!"
Michelle Obama: all this for a damn flag read lips
Click the image to see the full video.

Obamas hate america


Four more years of this foolishness.
stolen election usurpers damn flag click image video
21 posted on 01/20/2013 3:56:13 AM PST by Bon mots (Abu Ghraib: 47 Times on the front page of the NY Times | Benghazi: 2 Times)
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To: eartick

No way in hell does moooooooochelle have anything in common with Kate Middleton except for the obvious. Woookie doesn’t come even close.


22 posted on 01/20/2013 3:57:23 AM PST by DaveA37
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To: onyx

If that were her real hair she would have spent a fortune on kink remover, or hours under a straightening iron.

It’s a wig.


23 posted on 01/20/2013 4:01:10 AM PST by Venturer
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To: onyx

Maybe next we will see her as a Redhead.


24 posted on 01/20/2013 4:02:16 AM PST by Venturer
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To: Drango

Who is Kate Middleton?


25 posted on 01/20/2013 4:09:34 AM PST by dalereed
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To: Progov

I am not even sure about the “obvious”.....


26 posted on 01/20/2013 4:43:44 AM PST by eartick (Been to the line in the sand and liked it)
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To: Iron Munro

It may be a new wig but it is not a good look for that woman.


27 posted on 01/20/2013 4:44:01 AM PST by ruesrose (The Anchor Holds)
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To: ruesrose

How many looks did Laura Bush have, besides classy?


28 posted on 01/20/2013 4:52:58 AM PST by Thebaddog (Obama won, we are so screwed.)
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To: Drango

I’m all for the bangs. Covering up more of Mrs. Obama’s face can only be a good thing.


29 posted on 01/20/2013 4:56:36 AM PST by mrs. a (It's a short life but a merry one...)
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To: Drango

It’s probably a wig. Take a good hard look at the part at the top and tell me it’s not a wig.


30 posted on 01/20/2013 5:08:25 AM PST by bethtopaz ( www.rapturealert.com)
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To: Venturer

I sure hope it’s a wig. Sure hope she can take the notchy, badly cut thing off. Looks like somebody misplaced a WH dust mop.


31 posted on 01/20/2013 5:13:36 AM PST by abclily
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To: Drango; All

That hair style isn’t “authentically black”. Where are Al Sharpton, Charles Blow, Eugene Robinson, Juan Williams, Jesse Jackson, or Clarence Page to point this out when you need them?


32 posted on 01/20/2013 6:06:31 AM PST by Hardastarboard (The Liberal ruling class hates me. The feeling is mutual.)
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To: onyx

Oh, dear. That is not flattering at all. And why can’t she find a blouse that fits her? Look at the strain on the buttons and the underarm seam.


33 posted on 01/20/2013 6:38:58 AM PST by Tax-chick (Viva Cristo Rey! Viva la Virgen de Guadalupe!)
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To: Drango

We settled the royalty issue in 1776!


34 posted on 01/20/2013 6:41:48 AM PST by SWAMPSNIPER (The Second Amendment, a Matter of Fact, Not a Matter of Opinion)
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To: onyx

She looks very Zoo like.


35 posted on 01/20/2013 7:22:57 AM PST by angcat
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To: Drango

She is going for the Hanoi Jane look.


36 posted on 01/20/2013 7:24:36 AM PST by wtc911 (Amigo - you've been had.)
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To: Drango

Blech, ugh, Mooch looks like James Brown now.


37 posted on 01/20/2013 7:26:08 AM PST by dforest
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To: Drango

My gawd, Kate Middleton and Mammy Obama seem like polar opposites. Kate is beautiful, graceful, respectful, educated, and classy... while Mooochelle is narcissistic, over-bearing, pushy, and an affirmative action grad-eee-ate, making statements such as:
“For the First Time in My Adult Lifetime, I’m Really Proud of My Country”.
I associate the community organizer in chief’s wife more with a fetid turd, (just slightly higher than the majority of American “journalists”), than with the Duchess of Cambridge.


38 posted on 01/20/2013 7:41:59 AM PST by MS_Steve
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To: onyx

OMG, LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL


39 posted on 01/20/2013 7:51:03 AM PST by CatherineofAragon (Support Christian white males---the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization)
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To: SkyPilot

Post #18

This woman is ugly inside and out. Look at how she is looking at Sarkozy’s wife. The American people have been so dumbed down there are not words for it.


40 posted on 01/20/2013 8:06:13 AM PST by selfdefense
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To: onyx
Idiocracy not only predicts our future, it even predicts White House hair styles.What a genius movie.


41 posted on 01/20/2013 8:16:44 AM PST by eartrumpet
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To: eartrumpet

The “Worst Lady” does it again. What a degenerate grifter loser.


42 posted on 01/20/2013 8:49:19 AM PST by hal ogen (First Amendment or Reeducation Camp?)
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To: Drango
A few months from now she'll look like Cousin It from the Addams Family.


43 posted on 01/20/2013 9:23:14 AM PST by Moltke ("I am Dr. Sonderborg," he said, "and I don't want any nonsense.")
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To: onyx

That’s a hooker wig.


44 posted on 01/20/2013 10:06:42 AM PST by jean michael
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To: onyx

That’s a hooker wig.


45 posted on 01/20/2013 10:06:49 AM PST by jean michael
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To: jean michael; onyx
"That's a hooker wig."

From a Tarrantino film nonetheless.


46 posted on 01/20/2013 10:24:53 AM PST by 444Flyer
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To: Iron Munro

New wig for the First Lard Butt.”””

Absolutely a wig.

A few months back here on FR, there was a pic of Moochelle and Barry getting off Marine One and walking into the White Hut.

She had VERY SHORT NAPPY HEAD of hair. So Short, you could cover it up with almost any wig.

She has a large number of wigs, and the ‘fashionists’ gush over every new one she wears.

Makes me wonder if she cannot grow long hair herself naturally, or if she has some sort of scalp disease which keeps her in 1/4 inch long kinky hair.

Either way, she isn’t a ‘fashionists’ like some people think. She is Boxcar Butt Ugly, IMO.


47 posted on 01/20/2013 10:37:07 AM PST by ridesthemiles
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To: Drango

Hey Ho, Lets Go
Hey Ho, Lets Go
Hey Ho, Lets Go
Hey Ho, Lets Go

They’re forming in a straight line
They’re goin’ through a tight wind
The kids are losin’ their minds
Blitzkrieg Bop
They’re pilin’ in the backseat
They’re generatin’ steam heat
Pulsatin’ to the back beat
Blitzkrieg Bop
Hey Ho Lets Go
Shoot em’ in the back now
What they want, I don’t know
They’re all revved up and ready to go


48 posted on 01/20/2013 12:09:38 PM PST by servo1969
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To: SkyPilot

Thanks for the scarey chuckle!!!


49 posted on 01/20/2013 2:49:06 PM PST by 1217Chic
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To: ridesthemiles

Sistah too lazy to do her hair.


50 posted on 01/20/2013 4:33:31 PM PST by jean michael
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