Skip to comments.Raising Adam Lanza
Posted on 02/17/2013 10:15:04 AM PST by redreno
Shortly after her move from New Hampshire to Newtown in 1998, Nancy Lanza had good news about her troubled son.
"Adam is doing well here, and seems to be enjoying the new school," Lanza wrote to a friend back in Kingston, N.H., in a Feb. 9, 1999, email.
But Adam, 6, then diagnosed with a condition that made it difficult for him to manage and respond to sights, touch and smell, eventually struggled in the first grade at his new school Sandy Hook Elementary.
His mother would respond, touching off a 10-year educational shuffle with moves in and out of schools and programs that addressed his sensory integration disorder and another diagnosis that would come by middle school: Asperger's syndrome.
(Excerpt) Read more at courant.com ...
Hogwash! Lanza’s actions were the fault of the gun(s) he used. Therefore, we must ban all guns to prevent similar incidents in the future. /s
There are hundreds of these little monsters in elementary and middle schools right now. They need to be locked up before they become the next Lanza. Blame these monsters not tools.
Too many people want to stick their heads in the sand about the need for institutionalization.
We need to be able to deal with severely mentally ill people, but Leftists find such involuntary treatment as “oppressive”, until a tragedy like this happens.
Sigh. Honestly, I don’t know what his mom was thinking, to give him access to guns like that, considering all she knew about him. I know two people with Asperberger’s, and while they are not evil, they are NOT normal and don’t react emotionally the way most people do. I would no more give either of them a gun than a lit stick of dynamite.
Yeah, I know, they're both sickos.
Child care at 6-weeks?
Did anyone look into his eyes and talk to him as he took his bottle?
What happened before 6-years old?
His mother may have been in deep denial from the gitgo-any parent who was not would have gotten their child all the help and spent all the time necessary to enable thast child to live a happy life. Money was obviously not an issue for her-she could have paid for as many tutors as the kid needed. Did he ever have ongoing professional counseling, or proper guidance and the attention he needed at home as a child?
which was apparently MS.
From the article: Novia [a teacher/administrator who worked with Adam Lanza] left the Newtown school district after 15 years of service in July 2008. He established a private-investigations company in Spring Hill, Tenn. He said he was stunned to learn after the shootings at Sandy Hook that Nancy Lanza had removed Adam from high school following the boy’s sophomore year.
“So suddenly, when she pulls him out of there, he loses all those support groups,” Novia said. “He loses the tech club team he was involved in. He loses friends that he had made to a limited degree. He loses his special ed, he loses his school psychologist, he loses the devoted school administrators.”
... Novia said he was also surprised that Nancy exposed her son to firearms.
“It’s a serious mistake, first of all,” he said. “If you have a child in the home with mental disorders, or learning disabilities, to have involved him with guns in the first place would be bad.”
Novia owns several firearms and has taught shooting classes, and he carries a concealed pistol at certain times. He said that even shooting with Adam in the controlled environment of a shooting range was a mistake for his mother, given Adam’s psychological conditions.
“For healthy people, this is a perfectly fun activity,” Novia said of activities at the range.
He said the guns and the violent video games Adam played may well have been an unhealthful combination for a troubled boy.
During a search of the Lanza home after the deadly school shootings, police found thousands of dollars worth of graphically violent video games.
And detectives working the scene of the massacre are exploring whether Adam Lanza might have been emulating the shooting range or a video-game scenario as he moved from room to room at Sandy Hook, spewing bullets, law enforcement sources have told The Courant.
* * * * *
As a homeschooling mom myself now, reading that she took him away from his whole peer support system, without replacing it with something else, makes my eyes cross. EVERYONE needs friends, or at least people that they hang out with (if, like Adam, your definition of “friend” is going to be different from most people’s). That plus his innate issues plus guns plus lots and lots of violent videos ... oy. Sigh. Well, at least she doesn’t have to live on with the knowledge of her own mistakes.
Without prayer and God in our schools and PTAs, we welcome the lettered-but-ignorant-and-godless, left-indoctrinating tools, led by not-local-but-state-dependent administrators, who stand in the place of great teachers of the past, to run amok and find recruits and playthings among our children and grandchildren, if we haven’t homeschooled.
One wrong answer at the age of 6 or 8 will give the liberals what they need to put these children under all kinds of restrictions.
The same is for older children going through puberty. They will make one wrong answer and be labelled for life. They will never be allowed to get a permit or even a hunting license.
Did you read the entire 9 age story about all the ways she tried to help her son?
I’m guessing you do not have respnsibilty to raise almost alone for almost 20 years, a kid with autism, SID and God knows what else, while dealing with your own mortal illness
The Ferber method-—the professional “mother” syndrome of progressives-—to dehumanize babies, let them ‘cry’ to learn they can’t put trust in human beings, they are “powerless” in a cruel world-— put them in “day cares” raised and formed by strangers to prove they have no individual worth, even to their own biological parents—they are not worth their time-—remove all the bonding and trust from infants in the father and mother to dehumanize them—create little monsters-——by narcissist “mothers” who “think” that human beings don’t need “nurture”, don’t need “fathers” as role models, and “time”— where selflessness (Christian) motherhood is non-existent.
Narcissism in today’s materialistic society is destroying humanity, destroying all human relationships, and all emotional attachment to human beings—replacing parenting with strangers and TV. The parents create these monsters by abdicating the time and patience needed to form “human” beings. There is NO short-cuts to TIME in the formation of character and morality-—which takes a decade.
maybe everyone “needs friends” but everyone doesn’t have friends and it is devastatingly frustrating and lonely to be the sinlge parent of a kid who cannot make friends and probably never will have friends
as parent of an aspie with SID (and a homeschooler for probably many of the same reasons as Nancy Lanza) this story just hit me in the gut
Good article that puts a lot of things into perspective.
Now if the Courant could solve the mystery of the 7 kids supposedly found in the cabinets of Soto’s classroom.
If you were dictator, what would be your criterion for locking someone up without due processto who didn’t commit a crime? Who would make the determination? Judge? Shrink? Family? Jury? Elected officials? Bureaucrats? Just curious. If you are willing to compromisd freedom for security you get neither.
Bingo... and if we attack mental health, Satan will simply possess a completely normal staple of society instead... like Ted Bundy or John Wayne Gacy.
Except for when he's carrying multiple firearms and heavy rounds of ammo and firing an AR-15 at hysterical teachers and children at Sandy Hook elementary school, all accomplished in less than five minutes, of course.
The date of death for Adam being recorded as Dec. 13th and not the 14th is highly suspicious. I verified this myself long before it was changed.. The question is, why were the dates of death for ALL other victims recorded correctly as Dec. 14 EXCEPT for Adam's? The 'Sandy Hook' link at this website is an eye opener: http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/2013/01/20/ssdi-says-adam-lanza-died-a-day-before-sandy-hook-massacre/
Ok, this was enlightening. Sure, the mom did some things wrong, but most f the things that were mistakes are only clear retroactively.
Many of us have kids with asperger’s. this guy was way deeper on the spectrum than just asperger’s. he didnt speak. Asperger’s kids can be motor mouths and love being social in environments that are calm. They also need a lot of alone time.
Abandoning children to institutions from day one is ubiquitous too. Most of you probably do it — baby in day care or kids in public or other schools.
Shooter video games for older teen boys and adults?? Most do it.
Deciding to move a kid out of a school? Parents do it.
Teaching kids to shoot targets? Lots of us do it. She and the older child enjoyed it; wouldn’t you want to give your special needs child a chance at a fmily activity?
Leaving kids home alone a lot to live their lifestyle? Parents do this too.
Combined, it all looks like nancy could have made better choices. But there is no evidence she ever had anything to fear about her son turning violent and killing her and innocent children.
There is more culpability when the child shows obvious sociopathy, no empathy, cruelty to animals. Hurting others, etc. no evidence says her child had any of those tendencies. He was withdrawn and autistic. 99.9% of kids like that don’t harm a fly.
Sad story all around, silverleaf.
Giving the psychiatric community control over labeling human beings as “mentally ill” is giving the government power over any human being-—and will lead to the filling of gulags and removal of all human freedoms.
Having power to “label” removes freedom-—any political group in power can pay anyone to label their enemies as “mentally ill”-—it is what has happened through out Communists/Marxist/Leftist societies, since the French Revolution.
Psychiatry is NOT a hard science-—it is “guessing” and predicting the “future” which is impossible. There is no understanding of individual’s minds or predicting acts. Everyone is unique and experiences are unique.
BTTT your excellent post!
You aren’t alone.
Yes, I did-and while I was fortunate enough to have a child with no special needs, two of my aunts were not, so I developed an understanding and empathy at an early age. That empathy for the disabled led me to an education in social work.
I worked with mentally disabled individuals for the first 9 years of my career, until I went to the private sector. So I do have an understanding of the obstacles that the mentally disabled (and their parents) face-may God bless you and your child.
I’m only reading the article like I would a narrative in a file, just based on what little real info is there. I did not see in the article that the unfortunate mother ever trusted a therapist, and did seem to believe that just moving her son to another school or otherwise removing him and herself from a place, class, etc would make the problem go away-she tried it more than once. That is denial, how ever well intentioned it is, because we love our children and need/want to protect them.
I don’t know how autism is divided into degrees of severity or types, since I worked mostly with mentally retarded indiviuduals, but that boy’s symptoms sound like everything I’ve ever seen/heard about autism-emotional distance, flat affect, dislike of being touched, etc. One of my friends had a daughter with autism who would bite viciously if she was touched-she did that until she was about 4, but she is 20 now, and you’d never know anything had ever been amiss.
Also, something has gone terribly wrong when a child is clinging to walls in school in terror, and a major intervention is likely needed-it also sounds like the kid’s problems might have been made worse by the onset of puberty-many times, emotional problems are. And he certainly didn’t benefit from the violent video games, coupled with knowing where his mother’s guns were kept.
From what little I know about disorders like what the mother supposedly suffered from-workers comp doesn’t go into that much-the only thing I’ve ever heard like that is guillame barre (sp) syndrome, and I read that it is rare-but that was 12 years ago.
Absolutely right-and because every human mind is unique, and processes experience differently, we will never be safe from the occassional madman-it is impossible. Too many believe there can be a perfect human society, even though humans are not.
I doubt that many psychiatrists would be willing to act as authors of gulag orders-they are already terrified of lawsuits-and that is okay, too...
“Sigh. Honestly, I dont know what his mom was thinking, to give him access to guns like that, considering all she knew about him.”
Remember that hind sight is 20/20. In the aftermath of what happened its easy to say the mother should have done this or shouldnt have done that. I read the 9 page article and there is nothing in it about the kid ever being violent. If that is the case its not surprizing that she didnt see that her son would jump right from non violent to committing one of the most heinous crimes in US history. Still, it would have been wise to keep the weaponry out of reach of a troubled kid since they can be unpredictable.
I wonder what Adam had said to the school officials at Sandy Hook the day before the massacre. An unknown individual with a mental problem showing up at a school and getting into a verbal altercation might be your only warning they will be back with a weapon.
I was wondering what her illness was. Whomever referred to it as a fatal disease then was wrong, if she had MS. MS in NOT fatal!
I was wondering what her illness was. Whomever referred to it as a fatal disease then was wrong, if she had MS. MS in NOT fatal!
“If you were dictator, what would be your criterion for locking someone up without due processto who didnt commit a crime?”
Oh, why would you assume there will be no due process? Is due process only after somebody kills? If a little monster starts exhibiting murderous tendencies, he or should needs to be properly handled and quarantined from the public. For adults, if you have history of certain mental illness (medically diagnosed), you are due for a lock up!
Who decides? The shrink? You realize this is the same type of policy Hitler and Stalin were able to use to consolidate power.
“little monster starts exhibiting murderous tendencies”
When I was a boy, we used to go out in the woods and shoot squirrels and birds with BB guns. A nutty parent and liberal shrink could could conclude that is a murderous tendency. It is a very slippery slope. I’d rather roll the dice that I won’t be a one and a billion victim of a mass shooting than give someone the power to lock me up because I could potentially commit a crime one day.
“Honestly, I dont know what his mom was thinking, to give him access to guns like that, considering all she knew about him. I know two people with Asperbergers, and while they are not evil, they are NOT normal and dont react emotionally the way most people do. I would no more give either of them a gun than a lit stick of dynamite.”
When this shooting first happened, I commented here on FR that if there might be anyone or anything “to blame” (other than Adam himself), it would probably be Nancy Lanza, who seems to have made disastrous errors in judgment regarding her son.
I’ve been away from the computer for over two days, but managed to read a post on FR this morning (source was the [relatively conservative] Connecticut Post) that Nancy in fact had a gun safe at home, but did not secure the weapons she owned from Adam.
If true, Nancy Lanza not only bears considerable responsibility for those that Adam murdered, but she has also done grave damage to American freedom as a result of the attacks upon the Second Amendment that have been spawned by the Sandy Hook massacre.
Try getting a child (under age 17) “committed” if he has shown no evidence of wanting to harm himself or others
No evidence from this long sad story that Adam Lanza was ever suicidal or violent.
Getting him “committed” to a private contained institution probably not in her insurance and you just think $240K a year alimony is enough. Costs of mental commitment probably range from $1500-$2000 per day (do the math). Ten years ago when we went through this costs were $1000 a day, max committment was 3 days for evaluation of the above, cash upfront please
The fact is, mental health “commitment” is for the uber rich or for the wards of the state (usually after they have acted out violently), not for the middle class
Sadly if Adam Lanza had lived, only now would he be getting the mental health commitment he needed- at taxpayer expense, like John Hinckley after he shot Reagan, like James Holmes only after Aurora, like Jared Loughner only after his rampage in Arizona
and for “adults” like Adam Lanza after his 18th birthday:
Try getting anyone over age 18 “committed” if
1) you cannot document to a judge and and insurance company the answer “YES” to the question “Are they a grave danger to themselves and/or others”
2) If they do NOT want to cooperate in being “committed”
Yeah we can all judge the mistakes Nancy Lanza made, until we live for almost 20 years in her situation with a mental health and educational and social system that absolutely offers no answers...unless you get lucky or are rich enough to just send your “weird” child away and lock them up to keep them safe and give yourself guilt, but some freedom,