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When You Find Out You Married Your Sister
Townhall.com ^ | February 26, 2013 | Michael Brown

Posted on 02/26/2013 6:15:59 AM PST by Kaslin

You knew it had to happen sometime. A husband discovers that he and his wife have the same sperm donor father. (Both of them raised by lesbian parents.) That means he married his half-sister, who is now the mother of their three children. What should they do?

Although the story has not, to my knowledge, been verified, it was the subject of a question submitted to Emily Yoffe, author of the Dear Prudence advice column. The husband explained that when he met his wife in college, “the attraction was immediate, and we quickly became inseparable. We had a number of things in common,” and so, he writes, “everything was very natural between us.”

Of course, thousands of other couples have experienced an immediate attraction that turned into a lasting relationship, but there’s an added factor here. Did this couple experience GSA, genetic sexual attraction?

According to the Genetic Sexual Attraction website, “Genetic Sexual Attraction or GSA occurs between two adults who have been separated during the critical years of development and bonding and are reunited years later as adults. When these ‘strangers’ finally meet, the brain struggles to associate each other as family. Instead, they become captivated with one another, sharing similar physical features, likes and dislikes.”

Is that what this couple experienced? And what does this do to the “born that way” argument commonly used by gay activists to support their case that “gay rights” equals “black civil rights”? In the case of homosexuality, there remains no reputable scientific evidence that anyone is born gay (although there are certainly genetic contributions to homosexuality, as opposed to genetic causes). In the case of GSA, there could really be deeper genetic factors at work, yet there is only one viable response when it comes to separated siblings who meet later in the life and are attracted to each other: They must resist what their genes want them to do.

But what about this couple? The wife was raised by two lesbians and had learned who her donor dad was when she turned 18. The husband, raised by one lesbian, was never interested in learning the identity of his donor dad until this year, when, for their anniversary, he decided to find out who his biological father was. To his utter shock, he learned that it was the same as his wife’s donor dad. (For the common traumas experienced by children of sperm donors, in particular anonymous sperm donors, see my article, “The Kids Are Not Always Alright.”)

Unsurprisingly, this is not the first time such a thing has happened – or, at least, was feared to have happened. A 2008 article reported that lesbian couples in South Australia were “‘at risk’ due to prolific sperm donors.” The article noted that, “There have been reports of one man impregnating 30 lesbian women, whose children now socialise together. Unless they are aware of their shared parentage, there is concern some of them could commit incest.”

Yes, this is another tragic consequence to the breakdown of the family in our generation. Not just fatherless kids, but married couples produced by the same father. Are we really so bigoted to stand for natural, organic marriage?

Returning to this particular incestuous couple, the husband wrote, “On the one hand, I love my wife more than I can say, and logically, done is done, we already have children. I have had a vasectomy, so we won't be having any more, so perhaps there is no harm in continuing as we are. But, I can’t help but think ‘This is my sister’ every time I look at her now. I haven’t said anything to her yet, and I don't know if I should or not. Where do I go from here? I am tempted to burn everything I got from the sperm bank and just try to forget it all, but I’m not sure if I can. Please help me figure out where to go from here.”

Without a doubt, this is a difficult, painful situation, and I can understand that “Prudence” could be faulted for any answer she might give. (She counseled him to tell his wife, get counseling as a couple, and move on with life, never telling the kids.)

What’s shocking, though, is her overall attitude: “I think there's way too much emphasis put on DNA. Yes, you two will have had a shock, but when it wears off you will be the same people you were before you found out. Shocking news has the effect of making people feels as if the waves it sends out will always rock them. But I think you two should be able to file away your genetic origins and go on.”

In other words, incest might not be so bad after all. But fear not. There’s no slippery slope, and only homophobic bigots want to preserve the natural family. Right.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: brown; faithandfamily; incest; ivf; michaelbrown; napl; samesexmarriage; spermdonation; traditionalmarriage
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1 posted on 02/26/2013 6:16:12 AM PST by Kaslin
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To: Kaslin

Never a problem here in Arkansas....assume you are marrying someone you are related to ;)


2 posted on 02/26/2013 6:17:43 AM PST by DCBryan1 (Dear Congress Critter: Help create jobs and support RKBA by repealing 18 USC 922 (o).)
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To: Kaslin

3 posted on 02/26/2013 6:19:10 AM PST by Sirius Lee (All that is required for evil to advance is for government to do "something")
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To: Kaslin
What should they do?

Move to the Ozarks.

4 posted on 02/26/2013 6:19:51 AM PST by Michael.SF. (Obama lied, Stevens died.)
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To: DCBryan1

Iiiii’mmm my own Grand-Pawwwwwwww!


5 posted on 02/26/2013 6:20:24 AM PST by Norm Lenhart
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To: Kaslin

There may need to be mandatory blood tests before marriage for a whole new reason these days.

But with so much sex before message these days, you may have been banging your sister for years before you knew it.

Increased freedom of choice often results in unexpected and unintended consequences.


6 posted on 02/26/2013 6:20:37 AM PST by Truth is a Weapon (Truth, it hurts so good.)
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To: Kaslin

I think they have to find out for sure and hello, deal with the truth.

The “marriage” is sinful and it is their parents’ faults. It is not the kids’ fault but, as always, if you don’t follow Biblical Judeo-Christian boundaries, the kids pay. So, since he fathered these children and loves them, my advice would be, find out the truth, when everyone is old enough, reveal it, meanwhile, move into a separate bedroom and keep the kids happy. Oh and be sure to tell the lesbians who caused the whole entire fiasco by their selfish and shortsighted actions and emphasis on themselves and their sex lives.


7 posted on 02/26/2013 6:22:36 AM PST by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
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To: Kaslin

I saw that, and the guy doesn’t think its bad enough to break up. lolz


8 posted on 02/26/2013 6:28:35 AM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: Kaslin
Actually, half-brother / half-sister marriage was the norm among Egyptian royalty for thousands of years. Genetically it only became a problem after occurring over multiple generations. Our modern aversion to close relation marriage is more based on cultural taboos than any real science. For much of history (and in many parts of the world still today) such marriages were common.
9 posted on 02/26/2013 6:29:10 AM PST by apillar
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To: Kaslin

So that “soul mate” you met on match.com is your sibling....bummer.


10 posted on 02/26/2013 6:33:39 AM PST by txrefugee
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To: apillar

I think it is based on God and the Bible apillar. Who gives a spit about “science” of ethics? Get real.


11 posted on 02/26/2013 6:41:11 AM PST by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
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To: Kaslin

Move into a double wide trailer....?


12 posted on 02/26/2013 6:44:44 AM PST by njslim (St)
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To: Kaslin

Didn’t the ancient Kings and Queens in many countries engage in incestual marriages for centuries?


13 posted on 02/26/2013 6:50:47 AM PST by Old Retired Army Guy
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To: yldstrk

“Gas is higher in Europe than it is here.”

“The European leaders all have mistresses but America is so far behind the times.”

“It’s okay for siblings to marry. This used to be common practice.”

See how it goes?


14 posted on 02/26/2013 6:54:57 AM PST by Terry Mross (How long before America is gone?)
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To: njslim

‘Move into a double wide trailer....?’

Only if you want to be considered upscale...


15 posted on 02/26/2013 6:55:13 AM PST by Delta Dawn
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To: Kaslin

Here in Los Angeles in breeding is the norm.


16 posted on 02/26/2013 7:03:43 AM PST by Vaduz
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To: DCBryan1

Taking the Arkansas couple Bill and Hillary to mind. This would be a prime moment to use her famous saying,”Gay,straight, multiple, related, adult/child, WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?” The press reminded us during the Clinton fiasco, after he was caught, ‘it was just sex.’


17 posted on 02/26/2013 7:07:47 AM PST by taterjay
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To: Kaslin

He has had a vasectomy to prevent any more children.

My advice is STFU and enjoy the rest of your life.

The only thing you can do now by complaining is make things worse.


18 posted on 02/26/2013 7:22:33 AM PST by Venturer
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To: Venturer

...and if the kids want a puppy, be careful NOT to tell them to “go ask your aunt”...


19 posted on 02/26/2013 7:38:02 AM PST by kidd
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To: Truth is a Weapon

Wonder which states still require a blood test before marriage?

One year I drove through a town called Folkston, GA on the Florida border. Storefronts everywhere advertised “Blood Test Marriage License”. Seems in those days Florida license requirements were much stricter, & people flocked across the state line to get tested & legally married.

A girl I knew who became a Miami-based stewardess right out of high school got married at 21. Her local paper said the wedding took place in “Folktown, GA”. My pal from Macon looked at the announcement & laughed himself hoarse.

Anyway, same-sex parenting proves once again that we “have sown the wind and will reap the whirlwind”.


20 posted on 02/26/2013 7:54:20 AM PST by elcid1970 ("The Second Amendment is more important than Islam.")
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To: Kaslin

One reason why this artificial insemination crap is an abomination.


21 posted on 02/26/2013 8:01:41 AM PST by I want the USA back (Liberalism comes from an incurable mental illness.)
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To: yldstrk
Brutality seems to be in your nature.

It must be the Lawyer gene.

Seriously, your cavalier and judgmental comment, or should I say decree, seeks to punish all for the sins of the two lesbian couples.

Somehow, these two children of deviates managed to develop normally as heterosexuals and until the hidden facts came out, were leading a normal and respectable life. This isn't like an Oedipus story, for heaven's sake! Let them live out their lives as normal folks!

22 posted on 02/26/2013 8:18:03 AM PST by Redleg Duke ("Madison, Wisconsin is 30 square miles surrounded by reality.", L. S. Dryfus)
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To: I want the USA back

I agree 100 percent and think about it, there is a reason why some people can not conceive, or the husband’s sperm is low. They can always adopt if they really want children. I realize on the other hand that adoption is not for everyone, but artificial insemination is definitely wrong


23 posted on 02/26/2013 8:19:18 AM PST by Kaslin (He needed the ignorant to reelect him, and he got them. Now we all have to pay the consequenses)
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To: Redleg Duke

That’s just the point, bud. The truth will out. Now that dad knows he is married to his sis, the vibes will start. The kids will sense it, even if they haven’t been told. What, you suggest he continue to have intercourse with his sister? Good grief, man, who is the brute in this situation?


24 posted on 02/26/2013 8:24:38 AM PST by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
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To: Kaslin

I think as long as you keep the dead cars on the lawn down to a manageable level, this shouldn’t be a problem.


25 posted on 02/26/2013 8:37:46 AM PST by Attention Surplus Disorder (This stuff we're going through now, this is nothing compared to the middle ages.)
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To: yldstrk

There’s nothing in the Bible about not marrying your cousin, yet we have a taboo against that. So it’s not all from the Bible.


26 posted on 02/26/2013 8:48:30 AM PST by Boogieman
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To: Boogieman

You arf right, it is Biblically cool to marry your cousin. So what? In this case he is married to his half sister not his cousin


27 posted on 02/26/2013 9:00:24 AM PST by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
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To: Norm Lenhart

Hey! Quit making fun of aunt-grandmaw, or I’ll tell brother-dad!


28 posted on 02/26/2013 10:13:03 AM PST by DCBryan1 (Dear Congress Critter: Help create jobs and support RKBA by repealing 18 USC 922 (o).)
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To: Norm Lenhart

Hey! Quit making fun of aunt-grandmaw, or I’ll tell brother-dad!


29 posted on 02/26/2013 10:15:10 AM PST by DCBryan1 (Dear Congress Critter: Help create jobs and support RKBA by repealing 18 USC 922 (o).)
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To: yldstrk

The “so what?” is that not all of our incest taboos are based on the Bible, some are based on science, or simply cultural mores. That’s all.


30 posted on 02/26/2013 1:54:20 PM PST by Boogieman
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To: Norm Lenhart; a fool in paradise; Slings and Arrows

Yes we're all cousins, that's what I believe,
Because we're children of Adam and Eve

31 posted on 02/26/2013 1:59:12 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: Revolting cat!

Have I mentioned you look simply FABULOUS in those tight Levis Cousin? ;)


32 posted on 02/26/2013 2:03:15 PM PST by Norm Lenhart
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To: Revolting cat!; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ..
In other words, incest might not be so bad after all.
Carlos II of Spain liked this comment.


33 posted on 02/26/2013 2:29:26 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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Comment #34 Removed by Moderator

To: Sirius Lee

There’s anothe rhollywood example of this in a little known film called My Chauffer...It had deborah Foreman in it IIRC...

It illuded to an intimate encounter, where the two actors realized they were “bad” (brother and sister) before they actually knew they were related...

You’d have to watch it, but it just seems to me mistakes can, will and have happened in real life, and all you can do is kinda go “oh well”...Whatya gonna do???


35 posted on 02/26/2013 3:24:15 PM PST by stevie_d_64 (It's not the color of one's skin that offends people...it's how thin it is.)
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To: stevie_d_64

but “Oh well, lets keep doing it”

is the wrong answer


36 posted on 02/26/2013 3:25:51 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: Old Retired Army Guy
"Didn’t the ancient Kings and Queens in many countries engage in incestual marriages for centuries?"

Yes, a lot of in-breeding.

And, that is how Prince Charles came about.

Prince Charles, who wanted to be Camilla's tampon in order to be even closer to her. His cell phone was hacked or intercepted or something.

37 posted on 02/26/2013 3:42:44 PM PST by hummingbird
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38 posted on 02/26/2013 3:48:13 PM PST by musicman (Until I see the REAL Long Form Vault BC, he's just "PRES__ENT" Obama = Without "ID")
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To: GeronL

Sure, I was implying that once the deed is done, and then afterwards you realize (in this case, find out) there is an incestual bend to the relationship...What was done in the past cannot be undone, thats what I meant by the, “Oh well, what are ya gonna do about it...”

Nothing more...


39 posted on 02/26/2013 3:48:52 PM PST by stevie_d_64 (It's not the color of one's skin that offends people...it's how thin it is.)
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To: apillar

Half sibling is about the same as first cousin, which is legal in CA, NY, and NM, among other states.

British royal families did a bunch of cousin marriages, back in the day, and although a bit funny looking, they are still around.


40 posted on 02/26/2013 3:58:21 PM PST by donmeaker (Blunderbuss: A short weapon, ... now superceded in civilized countries by more advanced weaponry.)
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To: GeronL

Hrolf Kraki, the dark ages Danish king was the son of an unwitting union between his father and his father’s daughter.

He was a legendary king for his wisdom, virtue and courage.


41 posted on 02/26/2013 4:00:55 PM PST by donmeaker (Blunderbuss: A short weapon, ... now superceded in civilized countries by more advanced weaponry.)
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To: donmeaker

lol.

as if that makes any difference


42 posted on 02/26/2013 4:16:38 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: donmeaker
"He was a legendary king for his wisdom, virtue and courage."

Hrolf Kraki.

He didn't even know how to spell his name! HA!

I'll have to look this fella' up!

43 posted on 02/26/2013 5:08:48 PM PST by hummingbird
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To: Kaslin
THIS IS RELEVANT

TO MY INTERESTS

44 posted on 02/26/2013 5:38:18 PM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: elcid1970

“Wonder which states still require a blood test before marriage?”

Those early blood tests were to determine if either had syphillus....nothing more.

Genetic tests would be pretty expensive...but may become necessary someday.


45 posted on 02/26/2013 5:49:02 PM PST by Sola Veritas (Trying to speak truth - not always with the best grammar or spelling)
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To: Boogieman

“There’s nothing in the Bible about not marrying your cousin, yet we have a taboo against that. So it’s not all from the Bible.”

After 1,400 years of first cousin incest, Muslims have accumulated a range of genetic deficits due to inbreeding. ‘Course, they were not much to start with.


46 posted on 02/26/2013 8:17:11 PM PST by GladesGuru (In a society predicated upon freedom, it is necessary to examine principles."..)
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To: GladesGuru

first cousin is bad enough

but sister and brother is horrific

they have the same dad, they are bro and sis


47 posted on 02/26/2013 8:34:24 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: GladesGuru

Two words: Habsburg dynasty.


48 posted on 02/26/2013 8:43:12 PM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'll stop being a cynic when the world stops giving me reasons to be cynical.)
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To: hummingbird

Hrolf had his name spelled in a variety of ways, depending on whether you were a Dane, a Geat/Goth or one of the other traditions that mention him.


49 posted on 02/26/2013 9:12:11 PM PST by donmeaker (Blunderbuss: A short weapon, ... now superceded in civilized countries by more advanced weaponry.)
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To: stevie_d_64

The Catholic church used to warn people not to have relations with prostitutes, because children were often adopted out or given away and so lost tract of, so you might inadvertently have relations with your near relative.

Some of that is echoed in a few of the Grimm fairy tales.


50 posted on 02/26/2013 9:15:49 PM PST by donmeaker (Blunderbuss: A short weapon, ... now superceded in civilized countries by more advanced weaponry.)
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