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Top Ten Reasons Why Obama is Not Satan
The American Catholic ^ | 3/18/2013 | Donald R. McClarey

Posted on 03/21/2013 5:01:16 AM PDT by IbJensen

The Internet is abuzz with the fact that Satan on the History Channel’s The Bible miniseries, which has gotten great ratings, looks a tad like Obama if Michele gets him to go on a veggies only diet. I really don’t see much resemblance but it does give us a good excuse to look at the top ten reasons why Obama is not Satan:

1. Hell has never run a deficit.

2. Satan, whatever his other manifest evils, has never voted present.

3. Satan resides in Hell and Obama resides in Chicago. (A small difference I concede.).

4. Satan is the prince of liars, while Obama is at most an archduke of liars.

5. Satan to my knowledge has never eaten dog.

6. Satan has never used a teleprompter as far as I know.

7. The people of the United States have never elected Satan as President, although if God were running as a Republican and Satan as a Democrat in Cook County, I would not like God’s chances.

8. Satan has never attempted to have the Catholic Church pay for birth control.

9. Satan gets almost as bad press in the Mainstream Media as the Republican party.

10.Satan does not have a second in command as dimwitted as Biden.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: antichrist; deceiver; obamaandsatan; obamaonreligion; princeoflies
Obama may have the same ambitions as Satan, but he doesn’t have the talent.
1 posted on 03/21/2013 5:01:17 AM PDT by IbJensen
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To: IbJensen

Or the intelligence.


2 posted on 03/21/2013 5:04:38 AM PDT by freedomfiter2 (Brutal acts of commission and yawning acts of omission both strengthen the hand of the devil.)
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To: IbJensen
Satan has one a--hole. Obama has about 1700 of them, each of which has been appointed to the Executive branch or the federal bench.

Obama also has some spares he can call on in a pinch over in the House and Senate.

3 posted on 03/21/2013 5:07:12 AM PDT by muawiyah
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To: IbJensen

It was NOT Satan’s appearance that is so similar.

It is Satan’s temptations!

Obama’s continuous campaign would have us believe we can live on the “bread” the government offers.

Obama offers citizens all they need, if only they will worship him and his government, and deny their faith in God.


4 posted on 03/21/2013 5:09:28 AM PDT by G Larry (Which of Obama's policies do you think I'd support if he were white?)
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To: IbJensen

He is not Satan, but he serves him.


5 posted on 03/21/2013 5:10:42 AM PDT by Texas Fossil
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To: IbJensen

Thanks for the morning chuckle!


6 posted on 03/21/2013 5:11:07 AM PDT by knittnmom (Save the earth! It's the only planet with chocolate!)
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To: IbJensen

BTTT!


7 posted on 03/21/2013 5:11:48 AM PDT by Impala64ssa (You call me an islamophobe like it's a bad thing.)
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To: Texas Fossil
He sure thanks him!

Thank You Satan 1:50sec

8 posted on 03/21/2013 5:17:32 AM PDT by rawcatslyentist ("Behold, I am against you, O arrogant one," Jeremiah 50:31)
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To: IbJensen

Satan’s dog never had his own motorcade or his own private jet to a family vacation

Satan doesnt have to live with Michelle (now that would be hell)

Satan didnt spend his teen years riding around with the windows rolled up in a choom wagon

Satan never whines about how much money he gave up in the private sector by choosing a life of public service

Satan makes his supporters pay their fair share when their time comes


9 posted on 03/21/2013 5:17:35 AM PDT by silverleaf (Age Takes a Toll: Please Have Exact Change)
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To: IbJensen

Obama isn’t Satan, but they have the same Pastor.


10 posted on 03/21/2013 5:19:36 AM PDT by Truth2012
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To: IbJensen; zot; Interesting Times

Thanks for the post.


11 posted on 03/21/2013 5:21:40 AM PDT by GreyFriar (Spearhead - 3rd Armored Division 75-78 & 83-87)
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To: IbJensen

Satan doesn’t have a beard.


12 posted on 03/21/2013 5:23:33 AM PDT by BykrBayb (Somewhere, my flower is there. ~ Þ)
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To: muawiyah

[Inner Beavis]
Heh, heh, heh. You said “a-hole” and “pinch”.


13 posted on 03/21/2013 5:32:06 AM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel (*Catastrophic Anthropogenic Climate Alteration: The acronym explains the science.)
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To: IbJensen

Satan’s little helper?


14 posted on 03/21/2013 5:36:48 AM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!)
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To: IbJensen

Satan doesn’t need a Boeing 747 to fly.


15 posted on 03/21/2013 5:40:51 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (For Jay Carney - I heard your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.)
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To: IbJensen

#1 should be: Satan knows that he is not God.


16 posted on 03/21/2013 6:10:47 AM PDT by OSHA (One despises and wants to destroy the United States, the other is a dead terrorist.)
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To: IbJensen

Obama is too lazy to be Satan.


17 posted on 03/21/2013 6:25:34 AM PDT by pallis
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To: silverleaf

Satan knows enough not to put gasoline into a diesel engine.


18 posted on 03/21/2013 6:27:43 AM PDT by Haiku Guy (If you have a right / To the service I provide / I must be your slave)
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To: IbJensen

For the life of me I can’t decided who should take more offense about this article ‘Bama’ or Satan?


19 posted on 03/21/2013 6:29:55 AM PDT by Kartographer ("We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.")
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To: IbJensen

For a very long time, the Catholic church produced “demonologies”, basically indexes of demons to help with identification if and when one cropped up. (They also produced Hagiographies, about the lives of the Saints, but they were far less entertaining.)

Over centuries, the demonologies became very complex and detailed, outlining how the devil and company had tried to design Hell as something of a parody of Heaven.

Yet two things really stand out about Hell. The first is that Satan and his subordinates had a hopelessly top heavy form of government. Not just a royalist nobility, but a technocracy, an elected(?) full parliament, a gigantic bureaucracy and judiciary, and a military budget that made the Pentagon look terribly frugal.

Likewise they were seriously into food and drink, with winemakers, chefs, bakers, and by now probably sushi restaurants, fast food and Starbucks.

The second thing, far more peculiar, and likely why Hell had such abundance, was that Hell had few or even no lawyers! (Just one was listed by Dante.) Some wit proposed that, while a soul had to take a boat across the river Styx; that the great, foul smelling marsh at the end of the river, also called the Styx, could be walked across by trodding on the tops of the heads of all the lawyers immersed therein.

But in any event, the point is that it is past time for the church to update the demonologies, but not with the demons looking like alien monsters, but resembling various humans.

For example, the demon representing lust would resemble Bill Clinton. Anger, Harry Reid. Greed, Timothy Geitner. Gluttony, Lindsay Lohan, etc. Even the minor demons would have their celebrity avatars.


20 posted on 03/21/2013 7:11:50 AM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy (Best WoT news at rantburg.com)
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To: IbJensen

11. Satan is not a golfer.


21 posted on 03/21/2013 7:20:17 AM PDT by hummingbird
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To: IbJensen

Funny


22 posted on 03/21/2013 7:34:02 AM PDT by Richard from IL
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To: OSHA

[ding ding ding ding] Post of the day!!!


23 posted on 03/21/2013 7:35:35 AM PDT by dannibp (I must remind myself daily that God is in control.)
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To: GreyFriar

Good post! Thanks for the ping.


24 posted on 03/21/2013 9:57:29 AM PDT by zot
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