Skip to comments.Top Ten Reasons Why Obama is Not Satan
Posted on 03/21/2013 5:01:16 AM PDT by IbJensen
The Internet is abuzz with the fact that Satan on the History Channels The Bible miniseries, which has gotten great ratings, looks a tad like Obama if Michele gets him to go on a veggies only diet. I really dont see much resemblance but it does give us a good excuse to look at the top ten reasons why Obama is not Satan:
1. Hell has never run a deficit.
2. Satan, whatever his other manifest evils, has never voted present.
3. Satan resides in Hell and Obama resides in Chicago. (A small difference I concede.).
4. Satan is the prince of liars, while Obama is at most an archduke of liars.
5. Satan to my knowledge has never eaten dog.
6. Satan has never used a teleprompter as far as I know.
7. The people of the United States have never elected Satan as President, although if God were running as a Republican and Satan as a Democrat in Cook County, I would not like Gods chances.
8. Satan has never attempted to have the Catholic Church pay for birth control.
9. Satan gets almost as bad press in the Mainstream Media as the Republican party.
10.Satan does not have a second in command as dimwitted as Biden.
Or the intelligence.
Obama also has some spares he can call on in a pinch over in the House and Senate.
It was NOT Satans appearance that is so similar.
It is Satans temptations!
Obamas continuous campaign would have us believe we can live on the bread the government offers.
Obama offers citizens all they need, if only they will worship him and his government, and deny their faith in God.
He is not Satan, but he serves him.
Thanks for the morning chuckle!
Satan’s dog never had his own motorcade or his own private jet to a family vacation
Satan doesnt have to live with Michelle (now that would be hell)
Satan didnt spend his teen years riding around with the windows rolled up in a choom wagon
Satan never whines about how much money he gave up in the private sector by choosing a life of public service
Satan makes his supporters pay their fair share when their time comes
Obama isn’t Satan, but they have the same Pastor.
Thanks for the post.
Satan doesn’t have a beard.
Heh, heh, heh. You said “a-hole” and “pinch”.
Satan’s little helper?
Satan doesn’t need a Boeing 747 to fly.
#1 should be: Satan knows that he is not God.
Obama is too lazy to be Satan.
Satan knows enough not to put gasoline into a diesel engine.
For the life of me I can’t decided who should take more offense about this article ‘Bama’ or Satan?
For a very long time, the Catholic church produced “demonologies”, basically indexes of demons to help with identification if and when one cropped up. (They also produced Hagiographies, about the lives of the Saints, but they were far less entertaining.)
Over centuries, the demonologies became very complex and detailed, outlining how the devil and company had tried to design Hell as something of a parody of Heaven.
Yet two things really stand out about Hell. The first is that Satan and his subordinates had a hopelessly top heavy form of government. Not just a royalist nobility, but a technocracy, an elected(?) full parliament, a gigantic bureaucracy and judiciary, and a military budget that made the Pentagon look terribly frugal.
Likewise they were seriously into food and drink, with winemakers, chefs, bakers, and by now probably sushi restaurants, fast food and Starbucks.
The second thing, far more peculiar, and likely why Hell had such abundance, was that Hell had few or even no lawyers! (Just one was listed by Dante.) Some wit proposed that, while a soul had to take a boat across the river Styx; that the great, foul smelling marsh at the end of the river, also called the Styx, could be walked across by trodding on the tops of the heads of all the lawyers immersed therein.
But in any event, the point is that it is past time for the church to update the demonologies, but not with the demons looking like alien monsters, but resembling various humans.
For example, the demon representing lust would resemble Bill Clinton. Anger, Harry Reid. Greed, Timothy Geitner. Gluttony, Lindsay Lohan, etc. Even the minor demons would have their celebrity avatars.