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Stung by Criticism of Vacation Costs, Obama Lays out Proposals to Reduce Vacation Travel
db news international | dirtboy

Posted on 04/01/2013 9:09:23 AM PDT by dirtboy

During the ongoing sesquestration, taxpayers were confronted with the cancellation of White House tours, military cutbacks and the heartbreak of congressional staffers having to brown-bag lunches twice a week – while President Obama resumed golfing and his daughters went to the Bahamas and an Idaho Ski area in the same week.

Confronted with plummeting poll numbers in response to such, President Obama today unveiled proposals to significantly reduce the vacation travel costs for him and his family.

“In hindsight, it does use up Secret Service time and fuel for me to travel to go golfing” President Obama said.

"So I have hereby signed an executive order converting the Ellipse into a nine-hole golf course that will be merged into the White House grounds. This will reduce my golf travel time to a few minutes in a golf cart and will make security for such easier on my Secret Service detail. Notice I am only asking for a nine-hole course to save the taxpayers money.”

“In addition, my family and I have faced harsh criticism for vacations to Hawaii and the Bahamas. So I am ordering the Reflecting Pool and the Constitution Gardens Pond to be converted into a private tropical-themed water park for the use of the president and his family. Now I can go body surfing without some fool pool photographer taking a picture of me enjoying myself.”

When asked about the fate of memorials on that section of the Mall – the new WW II Memorial and the 56 Signers of the Declaration of Independence Memorial, Obama responded “We’ll just relocate the WWII Memorial to some red state where they like the military, and no one gives a damn about some dead crackers who signed a piece of paper over two centuries ago, so I'll just put a plaque up on the side of the new water park.”

And then he unveiled his final proposal. “I have ordered plans for a facility similar to Ski Dubai to be built just south of the Ellipse. The Washington Monument will be integrated into the facility and the top of the ski lifts will be anchored to it. Now my wife won't have to fly all the way to Aspen to ski.”

After the hubbub in the press room diminished, Obama closed by saying “Heck, the damn town is already named after Washington. Why does he need a stinkin’ monument all to himself? “

When asked about the cost to build the three facilities, Obama shrugged. “You racist right-wingers are just never happy with what I do. Here I am reducing my travel costs, giving up my presidential perogative to travel wherever and whenever I damn well please, and you whine about construction costs instead. It never ends.”

"I’ll just call up Bernanke and tell him to turn up the presses a bit. It’s worked for the last four years, it’ll work for the next four.” Think of the jobs all this construction will bring. "

Obama then abruptly ended the press conference to make his afternoon tee time.


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: vanity

1 posted on 04/01/2013 9:09:23 AM PDT by dirtboy
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To: dirtboy

Obamanation Counterculture File.


2 posted on 04/01/2013 9:10:37 AM PDT by Graewoulf (Traitor John Roberts' Commune-Style Obama'care' violates U.S. Constitution AND Anti-Trust Law.)
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To: dirtboy

Why does this come out on April 1?


3 posted on 04/01/2013 9:11:13 AM PDT by STYRO (War sucks. Living in slavery sucks even worse.)
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To: dirtboy

That “db News international” seems to be a new startup....


4 posted on 04/01/2013 9:11:34 AM PDT by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: dirtboy

Today is April Fool’s Day. Is this news for real?


5 posted on 04/01/2013 9:11:42 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
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To: STYRO

The “All this for a damn flag” comment was NOT on an April 1.


6 posted on 04/01/2013 9:15:54 AM PDT by C210N (When people fear government there is tyranny; when government fears people there is liberty)
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To: dirtboy

The only trouble with any sarcasm these days is the fact that we’re being “led” by such a collection of goons that it is no longer easy to discern what is real and what is not.

Gads, I hope I can bring my camera to the audience section of the “cleanse progressive” guillotine sessions when the libs get their just due after CW-II.


7 posted on 04/01/2013 9:20:10 AM PDT by Da Coyote
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To: dirtboy

when you read this and have to actually wonder if it is a April 01 spoof you know 0dumbo is a caricature and a fool

good one!


8 posted on 04/01/2013 9:22:29 AM PDT by RWGinger
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To: Izzy Dunne
Yeah, Dirt Boy News . . .
9 posted on 04/01/2013 9:22:42 AM PDT by rightwingintelligentsia (Truth/Lies; Liberty/Tyranny--WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE??)
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To: SeekAndFind

Satire for sure. I’m certain logistics for April vacations are in being made ready to be at the POTUS’s and FLOTUS’s disposal.


10 posted on 04/01/2013 9:22:57 AM PDT by luvbach1 (We are finished.)
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To: SeekAndFind

The most telling “tell” is, since when would bo EVER be “stung” by just criticism?

...plus the “db” source, and more.


11 posted on 04/01/2013 9:23:14 AM PDT by cyn (Benghazi)
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To: Da Coyote

Gads, I hope I can bring my camera to the audience section of the “cleanse progressive” guillotine sessions when the libs get their just due after CW-II.


CW II will resemble the French Revolution in that regard.


12 posted on 04/01/2013 9:24:02 AM PDT by laplata (The Answer To 1984 Is 1776)
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To: dirtboy
Now this is closer to the spirit of an April 1st article, unlike the earliest attempts this morning, some of which were simply outrageous headlines that had the subtlety of a banner screaming "Click here to be Rickrolled!" because you know what was behind them.

Well done.

13 posted on 04/01/2013 9:28:15 AM PDT by Tanniker Smith (Rome didn't fall in a day, either.)
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To: dirtboy

Joke, right?


14 posted on 04/01/2013 9:36:01 AM PDT by yoe
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To: dirtboy

I for one wish he would take MORE Hawaiian vacations.

15 posted on 04/01/2013 10:07:03 AM PDT by Slyfox (The Key to Marxism is Medicine ~ Vladimir Lenin)
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To: dirtboy

Happy April Fools day, All...


16 posted on 04/01/2013 10:07:41 AM PDT by ExCTCitizen (Go RED SOX....The 101st year of ol' Fenway! Beat the Yanks)
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To: dirtboy

17 posted on 04/01/2013 10:08:28 AM PDT by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet - Mater tua caligas exercitus gerit ;-{)
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To: dirtboy
Actually, converting the Ellipse into a Pitch-and-Putt would put it to better use than it is now.

But why stop there? Since the Mall is mostly used on weekends by the spoiled commie brats from Georgetown for pick-up soccer and softball, Obama can convert part of the Mall, from the end of the Reflecting Pool towards the Washington Monument, into a Jack Nicklaus designed 18 Hole Championship course.

As an added bonus, Obama can turn the Lincoln Memorial into the clubhouse.

18 posted on 04/01/2013 10:11:15 AM PDT by muleskinner
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To: dirtboy

19 posted on 04/01/2013 10:12:12 AM PDT by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet - Mater tua caligas exercitus gerit ;-{)
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To: dirtboy

April Fools’ Day!

If you don’t know its a joke, put on your James Carville paper bag right now!


20 posted on 04/01/2013 10:13:03 AM PDT by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives In My Heart Forever)
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To: dirtboy
The Greyhound Bus Lines just announced that in order to help The WH save money on travel, they will transport Reggie Love to the President for their not-quite-clandestine trysts, rather than have Barry fire up the big jet and mobilize all the Secret Service guys to go to Reggie.

When they drop off Reggie for the rendezvous, they will then pick up Michelle and the Girls at the bus station in DC, and get them out of town for their well deserved "separate vacations."

Thanks to American Enterprise and the Private Sector, problem solved ... millions saved!

I know this April 1, but this absolutely NS!

21 posted on 04/01/2013 10:26:04 AM PDT by Kenny Bunk (The Obama Molecule: Teflon binds with Melanin = No Criminal Charges Stick)
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To: dirtboy

The sad thing is that most of that could be built with the cost of just one of his trips. Like his India trip for instance.


22 posted on 04/01/2013 10:37:30 AM PDT by Colorado Doug (Now I know how the Indians felt to be sold out for a few beads and trinkets)
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To: SeekAndFind

Sorry, seek, but only an idiot would think this article is anything but satire.


23 posted on 04/01/2013 3:18:41 PM PDT by calex59
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