Skip to comments.Ahmadinejad Blames Jews For Erectile Dysfunction
Posted on 04/11/2013 8:42:40 AM PDT by Impala64ssa
Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad blamed Jews today for the "global scourge of erectile dysfunction."
In a speech broadcast on state television, the Islamic firebrand claimed an international Jewish cabal is provoking male impotence though chemicals in bottled water and then making billions by treating the syndrome with pharmaceutical drugs like Viagra.
In the middle of one of his more typical rants against Israel, the United States, and global Zionism, Ahmadinejad unveiled his latest conspiracy theory.
"One of the most insidious new methods of global Zionist oppression is the effort to sap the life-forces of non-Jews around the world," he thundered.
"According to my closest advisers, almost 95 percent of Iranian men now have difficulty achieving and maintaining an erection. I have to admit that on very rare occasions, I have had such trouble myself, despite my legendary virility.
"Clearly we see the work of the Zionists in this situation. Why else would good Muslim and Christian men everywhere be suffering this embarrassing lack of manly function?"
Ahmadinejad then detailed how he believes Jews have created this epidemic of male impotence.
"Jewish interests have taken financial control of all the bottled water companies in the world," he explained. "They have used the dominance to slip chemicals into our bloodstreams, which destroy our ability to become erect.
"Very attractive, sexually vibrant men have unwittingly become victims of this humiliating condition. But the Jew is not content to humiliate his enemies. He must bankrupt them too. And so they have created a cure for this induced disease - drugs such as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra.
"Hard working men all over the world are spending billions on such cures just to keep themselves sexually viable. Many are facing complete financial ruin.
"And who sells these drugs? Just look at these pharmaceutical companies: Pfizer, Merck, Bristol-Myers Squibb, Glaxo Smith Kline - these are all Jewish names!
"We must unite to fight this conspiracy, beginning with a complete ban on bottled water in our country and a lawsuit seeking compensation for all the money Iranian men have spent on these terribly expensive erection pills."
Ahmadinejad has been president of Iran since 2005. He is known for his staunchly anti-Jewish views. Political observers in Tehran expect a ban on bottled water to be enacted within weeks.
If what I’ve heard about JAP’s in the past is anywhere NEAR true .....
The intellectual madness that pervades the world is absolutely amazing.
I guess the Iranian market for Conan-age ‘dead man’s seed’ has hit an all-time low?
Maybe those sales haven’t been flagellating, lately?
Could it be that Iranian males have had to ‘come to grip’, with their real problem?
Or is it, that Iranian males come up a little, ahem, ‘short’, in this issue?
Well, that’s odd. Seems to me that because of the “Zionists” this little beady eyed “Twelver” POS has a huge (for him) hard on for them.
at least we finally learn what his problem really is....
Islam and progressivism are competing for the title of “Completely Lacking in Morals, Intellect, or Honesty”.
Right now, it’s a tie.
Jewish women by nature counter this argument, refusing to wear a Habib. IbeenAnutJob only likes his women safely hidden in a bag, or it confronts his masculinity .
Is he trying to tell us something personal?
No wonder he`s such a putz!
I assume this is parody, but it’s “hard” to tell.
I think the primary cause of muslim ED is it’s twisted obsession with buttholes — usually male buttholes.
First, Concord, Massachusetts, now Tehran! I see a pattern developing here!
Hasn’t affected Ahmanutjob - he’s still a big prick.
Yeah. I could see it. The Israelis could scare a man into limpidity.
Isa. 19 says that when Jesus comes, the Egyptian men are going to squeal like little girls.
he has pictures of his expected 72 virgins all over his bunker.... and he has ED!
no wonder he’s so mad.......
I was once engaged to marry a young Jewish woman, but events intervened. What you heard is true. I have also heard that there is only one way to quell a Jewish woman's sexual desire: marry her.
A sinister geek from Iran
Was afeared for his rep as a man.
..Evading the charms
..Of feminine arms—
“Yes yes,” says he: “I must be a bottom man!”