Free Republic
Browse · Search
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Chirlane McCray Speaks About Falling In Love With A Man After Being A Lesbian
News One ^ | May 10, 2013 | Hannington Dia

Posted on 05/10/2013 8:45:32 PM PDT by nickcarraway

Chirlane McCray’s 1979 Essence essay “I Am a Lesbian,” broke boundaries, marking the first time a Black gay woman shared her sexuality openly.

RELATED: Chirlane McCray Controversy Proves It’s Time To Get Out Of People’s Bedrooms

Today, McCray is married to N.Y.C. Public Advocate and Mayoral Candidate Bill de Blasio (pictured right), sharing with Essence how she transitioned into a “traditional marriage.” According to McCray, her shift to a heterosexual union was natural, happening “by putting aside the assumptions I had about the form and package my love would come in. By letting myself be as free as I felt when I went natural.”

Asked if it was strange dating a man suddenly, McCray said her relationship with de Blasio was simple attraction:

“I came out at 17. I hadn’t really dated any men. I thought, Whoa, what is this? But I also didn’t think, Oh, now I’m attracted to men. I was attracted to Bill. He felt like the perfect person for me. For two people who look so different, we have a lot in common. We are a very conventional, unconventional couple.”

On the topic of if she’s still attracted to women, McCray said,”I’m married, I’m monogamous, but I’m not dead.” However, don’t call her bisexual:

“I am more than just a label. Why are people so driven to labeling where we fall on the sexual spectrum? Labels put people in boxes, and those boxes are shaped like coffins. Finding the right person can be so hard, that often, when a person finally finds someone she or he is comfortable with, she or he just makes it work. As my friend Vanessa says, ‘It’s not whom you love; it’s that you love.’”

McCray first met de Blasio in 1991 while working for the New York Commission On Human Rights. De Blasio was an aide to then-mayor David Dinkins.

“I was wearing West African-inspired clothing and a nose ring, and Bill says he had the love-at-first-sight experience. I did note what a good-looking guy he was and that he was funny and smart and made other people laugh.” And despite what others may say, McCray is confident in her marriage:

“I know my husband loves me fiercely and passionately. I know he supports me and will always stand up for me.”

TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; US: New York
KEYWORDS: abortion; billdeblasio; chirlanemccray; daviddinkins; deathpanels; demwit; homosexualagenda; newyork; newyorkcity; nolongergay; obamacare; partisanmediashill; partisanmediashills; phonybaloney; zerocare

1 posted on 05/10/2013 8:45:32 PM PDT by nickcarraway
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

MArried but still a lesbian go figure!

2 posted on 05/10/2013 8:50:06 PM PDT by Conserev1 ("Still Clinging to my Bible and my Weapon")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

I wonder if women leave the homosexual lifestyle more easily than men do. I don’t know; I just wonder.

3 posted on 05/10/2013 8:59:35 PM PDT by Irish Rose (Will work for chocolate.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Irish Rose

Kind of oblique, but it makes me think of scripture: “Time and chance happeneth to them all.”

But to answer your question, I think the answer is yes. Vive la differance.

4 posted on 05/10/2013 9:09:43 PM PDT by dr_lew
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

That guy can’t outrun her?

5 posted on 05/10/2013 9:24:45 PM PDT by Paladin2
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Paladin2


6 posted on 05/10/2013 9:26:46 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (God Bless America)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: pax_et_bonum
She looks like a hippy chick. Just sayin'

(Your FR page has humor!)

7 posted on 05/10/2013 9:31:44 PM PDT by Paladin2
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway
I'm coming out of the closet...

I'm a lesbian. I just happen to be trapped in a man's body.

There, I did it.


8 posted on 05/10/2013 9:33:14 PM PDT by M Kehoe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Irish Rose

I’ve had friends who were both sides of it:

Gay men are largely either victims of sexual abuse or porn. As a HS teacher, I see students that are convinced they are gay in 9th grade, then abandon it by graduation. On the other hand, I also see kids who are “recruited” by older men into homosexuality. Many gays are simply terrified of sex with women.

Lesbianism is very different. I’ve seen many women that have been married and have kids simply “give up” on men. There are also women that are just uncomfortable with men. Many of the lesbians I know still have desire for men but just have no desire to pursue it.

The problem with the gay community is the identification of sexuality as something you are BORN WITH. That is abject bulls***. Every time you get in bed with someone, you choose to do it. Saying that 1 or 2 year old children are gay is stupid. Children have no sexuality; it develops after the identity finding of puberty. I’m sick of all this “I’m born gay” bullcrap. No, you were born, you grew up, and you decided to be gay.

9 posted on 05/10/2013 9:40:32 PM PDT by struggle
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Irish Rose

it depends why they are lesbian.

if they had too much male hormones in utero, to the other end of the spectrum, they are making a conscious decision to be a lesbian and reject men. it depends.

10 posted on 05/10/2013 9:44:05 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (I can neither confirm or deny that; even if I could, I couldn't - it's classified.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Paladin2


Couldn’t manage without lots of humor!


11 posted on 05/10/2013 9:48:36 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (God Bless America)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: M Kehoe

I came out of the pantry a little while ago.

12 posted on 05/10/2013 9:50:50 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (God Bless America)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: pax_et_bonum

These dayz we can't get enough. ;-)

13 posted on 05/10/2013 9:56:05 PM PDT by Paladin2
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: Secret Agent Man

I think some woman can swing both ways...the whole LUG thing...lesbian until graduation. That said I’ve seen butch woman during pride week that really seem to be born that way. 200 pounds..big shoulders ..thick backs...they look like construction workers. Nothing feminine at all...something is off. Many are Latin or Black

Even more so with men . Didn’t we all know some kid in first grade who was just around with the girls..feminine mannerisms even before we knew what sex was.

One interesting statistic almost all woman hook up with another woman in prison. With men its pretty much the same as the outside.

14 posted on 05/11/2013 2:29:32 AM PDT by Blackirish (Forward Comrades!!!!!!!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Blackirish

He can mow her lzwn now.....

15 posted on 05/11/2013 2:38:55 AM PDT by DainBramage
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: Blackirish

I’ve no personal experience, but everything I’ve heard about men in prison goes against this:

“With men its pretty much the same as the outside.”

16 posted on 05/11/2013 3:22:10 AM PDT by 9YearLurker
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]</