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BENGHAZI EXPLAINED, by Jay Carney
Original Content | 5/13/2013 | by Laz A. Mataz

Posted on 05/13/2013 7:01:56 AM PDT by Lazamataz

Jay Carney: "My, there Republicans are obsessed with Benghazi. Benghazi was a bump in the road. I mean, what difference does it make? Obama was asleep while he watched it unfold. It's the Republican's fault because they pushed for the Sequestration that Obama invented. Rush Limbaugh is a bad man. This is a FoxNews-created scandal extensively reported on by CBS. George W. Bush is to blame. It's a vast right wing conspiracy. The terrorists that did this were not committing an act of terror. We never once altered the talking points' twelve different versions. These talking points originated in the CIA that the White House authored. This was a spontaneous uprising caused by an offensive video that nobody ever saw. The Koch brothers are evil. We only made one adjustment - 'consulate' to 'diplomatic facility' -- among the hundreds of other adjustments. Mitch McConnell is a bad man. Newt Gingrich. If we do not count the Navy Seals that were ready to respond, the nearby fighter aircraft and the Specter gunship circling overhead, there were no assents we could have responded with. Why are Republicans such fringers? Mitt Romney caused the entire Benghazi tragedy. Just because Barack Obama is the only person that could order the assets to stand down, doesn't mean someone else didn't do it. It's too soon after these tragic events, besides, it was a really long time ago. This breaking series of events that happened Friday is old news. Why are you attacking Hillary? It's because you hate women, isn't it?"


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
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This is pretty much a synopsis of all the Democrat counterattacks about Benghazi, placed in Jay Carney's squeaky voice.

To my readers, it is a quick little one-off kinda-fun piece. Hope it gave you a chuckle.

1 posted on 05/13/2013 7:01:56 AM PDT by Lazamataz
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To: Lazamataz

Impeachment File on Benghazi Coward B. Hussein Obama, aka Barry Soetoro, a legal citizen of the Nation of Indonesia.


2 posted on 05/13/2013 7:03:05 AM PDT by Graewoulf (Traitor John Roberts' Commune-Style Obama'care' violates U.S. Constitution AND Anti-Trust Law.)
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To: Lazamataz

bump


3 posted on 05/13/2013 7:03:34 AM PDT by School of Rational Thought
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To: Lazamataz

What, no “global warming” connection?


4 posted on 05/13/2013 7:04:46 AM PDT by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: TheOldLady; Cyber Liberty; CatherineofAragon; Slings and Arrows; Responsibility2nd; doorgunner69; ..
The Official Lazamataz Sometimes-Funny, Sometimes-Disturbing Ping List
200 Satisfied Customers!™

This is a quick little one-off knockout piece I conjured up this morning. I hope it gives someone a chuckle.


5 posted on 05/13/2013 7:04:51 AM PDT by Lazamataz ("AP" clearly stands for American Pravda. Our news media has become completely and proudly Soviet.)
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To: Izzy Dunne
What, no “global warming” connection?

Jay Carney: "That's a given. Next question please."

6 posted on 05/13/2013 7:05:35 AM PDT by Lazamataz ("AP" clearly stands for American Pravda. Our news media has become completely and proudly Soviet.)
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To: Lazamataz

It’s alright Jai Carnie, we realize you’re not really as idiotic as you appear. Making seriously good money for conveying ValJ’s talking points to an adoring press corpse....


7 posted on 05/13/2013 7:06:36 AM PDT by nascarnation (Baraq's economic policy: trickle up poverty)
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To: Lazamataz

But, but they got doughnuts! Free doughnuts, man! Free! Doughnuts!


8 posted on 05/13/2013 7:07:43 AM PDT by Spruce
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To: Lazamataz

Actually sounds more plausible than the real deal! LOL! Of course there is no ONE “real deal” but many to choose from!

Good job, Laz!


9 posted on 05/13/2013 7:08:34 AM PDT by LUV W (All my heroes wear camos!)
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To: Lazamataz

Does wearing a see through dress make them the most transparent administration ever?


10 posted on 05/13/2013 7:13:25 AM PDT by Lurkina.n.Learnin (President Obama; The Slumlord of the Rentseekers)
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To: Lazamataz

“I can’t comment on an ongoing investigation. We’ll just have to wait for the report to find out what I was doing the night of Sept. 11.” zero


11 posted on 05/13/2013 7:16:16 AM PDT by Walmartian (I'm their leader. Which way did they go?)
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To: Lazamataz

Pretty good job, there. You nailed the whole flippant, dismissive, I’m-not-but-you-are stream of obnoxiousness that I’m quite certain one day will be referred to as “Carneyesque”.


12 posted on 05/13/2013 7:20:01 AM PDT by andy58-in-nh (Cogito, ergo armatum sum.)
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To: Lazamataz

Knew I’d flush you out! Great to see Ya!


13 posted on 05/13/2013 7:21:42 AM PDT by no-to-illegals (Scrutinize our government and Secure the Blessing of Freedom and Justice)
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To: no-to-illegals

:)


14 posted on 05/13/2013 7:22:03 AM PDT by Lazamataz ("AP" clearly stands for American Pravda. Our news media has become completely and proudly Soviet.)
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To: Lazamataz

LOL, as I read this, a picture of Carney babbling these words popped into my mind. He was on the floor, trying to push himself into a corner, eyes bulging, having a breakdown.


15 posted on 05/13/2013 7:22:28 AM PDT by CatherineofAragon ((Support Christian white males----the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization).)
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16 posted on 05/13/2013 7:23:23 AM PDT by RedMDer (May we always be happy and may our enemies always know it. - Sarah Palin, 10-18-2010)
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To: Lazamataz

Question for Carney:

“Why should we believe you now?”


17 posted on 05/13/2013 7:27:41 AM PDT by equaviator (There's nothing like the universe to bring you down to earth.)
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To: Lurkina.n.Learnin
"Does wearing a see through dress make them the most transparent administration ever?

No,but we can clearly see their nuts!

18 posted on 05/13/2013 7:29:11 AM PDT by 728b (Never cry over something that can not cry over you.)
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To: CatherineofAragon

I forgot: “Sequestration happened in 2013. This attack happened on September 11, 2012. So you can see how Sequestration caused this.”


19 posted on 05/13/2013 7:30:53 AM PDT by Lazamataz ("AP" clearly stands for American Pravda. Our news media has become completely and proudly Soviet.)
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To: Lazamataz
Hope it gave you a chuckle.

I would be chuckling, except the perfidy of this bunch caused four people to die needless and horrific deaths, if they had their way it would be two dozen dead. Now they're lying about it as they have never lied before (and that's saying a lot).

Sorry Laz.

20 posted on 05/13/2013 7:31:07 AM PDT by Cyber Liberty (I am a dissident. Will you join me? My name is John....)
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To: CatherineofAragon

Also: “Obama cutting funding for Embassy security in no way contributed to this.”


21 posted on 05/13/2013 7:32:18 AM PDT by Lazamataz ("AP" clearly stands for American Pravda. Our news media has become completely and proudly Soviet.)
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To: Cyber Liberty
I understand. But you have to remember, I'm the guy who's cracking jokes at the graveside while we are lowering his or her corpse in the ground.

Laz I. Nappropriate.

22 posted on 05/13/2013 7:33:47 AM PDT by Lazamataz ("AP" clearly stands for American Pravda. Our news media has become completely and proudly Soviet.)
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To: Lazamataz

LOL, yes!

Reach end of spiel....pull string and repeat, as breakdown continues.


23 posted on 05/13/2013 7:33:51 AM PDT by CatherineofAragon ((Support Christian white males----the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization).)
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To: Lazamataz

I think you have every point covered, excellent!


24 posted on 05/13/2013 7:38:17 AM PDT by Ditter
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To: Lazamataz

I saw the press conference on Friday and this is pretty much a verbatim, albeit a compressed (like Obama’s girlfriends), transcript.


25 posted on 05/13/2013 7:46:44 AM PDT by citizen (We get the government we choose. America either voted for Obama or handed it to him by not voting.)
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To: Lazamataz
Jay Carney:..."Obama was asleep while he watched it unfold.

Huh?!!!!!

26 posted on 05/13/2013 7:50:23 AM PDT by Bushbacker1 (Molon Labe! (Oathkeeper))
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To: Lazamataz

Awesomeo, Laz.


27 posted on 05/13/2013 7:50:31 AM PDT by sauropod (Fat Bottomed Girl: "What difference, at this point, does it make?")
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To: Bushbacker1

If that was your only “Huh?!!!!!” moment, you need to reread it. :)


28 posted on 05/13/2013 8:00:28 AM PDT by Lazamataz ("AP" clearly stands for American Pravda. Our news media has become completely and proudly Soviet.)
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To: sauropod

Thanks....:)

29 posted on 05/13/2013 8:02:36 AM PDT by Lazamataz ("AP" clearly stands for American Pravda. Our news media has become completely and proudly Soviet.)
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To: Lazamataz

Jay Carney reminds me of Chip Diller, the sneaky little Omega frat pledge played by Kevin Bacon in “Animal House.” (”REMAIN CALM! ALL IS WELL! ALL IS WELL!!!)


30 posted on 05/13/2013 8:08:24 AM PDT by GreenHornet
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To: Lazamataz
And 7 or 11 or 12 U. S. Embassies or Consulates were attacked when G. W. Bush was President.

And you know what Bush did? He told our military not to do a damned thing to protect themselves and then went to bed, that's what he did!! And then he went to Crawford and cleared brush the next morning without even asking anything about it.

So, neener, neener.

31 posted on 05/13/2013 8:12:15 AM PDT by Madame Dufarge
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To: Lazamataz
Carney reminds me of this:

"Are you gonna believe me or your lyin' eyes?"

32 posted on 05/13/2013 8:14:50 AM PDT by red-dawg
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To: Madame Dufarge

Strong screen name!

:-)


33 posted on 05/13/2013 8:17:20 AM PDT by pax_et_bonum (God Bless America)
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To: pax_et_bonum

Vlad the Impaler was already taken..:-)


34 posted on 05/13/2013 8:22:18 AM PDT by Madame Dufarge
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To: Lazamataz

Great one, Laz!

It’s a nice little synopsis of the talking points showing the contradictions and nonsense that the white hut has the
nerve to attempt to pull over on the American people, the families of the deceased, and the rescued hostages.

What you have done here is amusing, but all too true.


35 posted on 05/13/2013 8:28:27 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: TheOldLady

Thank you pookie. :)


36 posted on 05/13/2013 8:29:50 AM PDT by Lazamataz ("AP" clearly stands for American Pravda. Our news media has become completely and proudly Soviet.)
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To: Lazamataz

My pleasure, sweetie pie. [smooch]


37 posted on 05/13/2013 8:33:36 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: Madame Dufarge

And exactly where did this accusation come from? Please cite sources. Meanwhile, GW is fighting 2 wars and putting bad guys in the ground. I attended one of them and helped.


38 posted on 05/13/2013 8:47:03 AM PDT by eaglesiniowa ((Hope is not a course of action))
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To: Lazamataz

bump


39 posted on 05/13/2013 8:51:30 AM PDT by VRW Conspirator (Cyprus - the beginning)
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To: eaglesiniowa
Well, the moonbats are posting spittle-flecked stories about embassy attacks when W was President.

Moonbat example:

Nutballs 'R Us

The rest of the post is..er..sarcasm...:0)

40 posted on 05/13/2013 9:00:59 AM PDT by Madame Dufarge
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To: Lazamataz
"It's because you hate women, isn't it?"

You forgot the Bill Russell line from the Old Saturday Night Live:
"It's because I'm black, isn't it?"

41 posted on 05/13/2013 9:08:58 AM PDT by Psalm 73 ("Gentlemen, you can't fight in here - this is the War Room".)
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To: pax_et_bonum; Madame Dufarge

With what we have going on in this country, there is a lot of knitting to be done.


42 posted on 05/13/2013 9:22:39 AM PDT by FreedomPoster (Islam delenda est)
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To: FreedomPoster

There appears to be a certain level of panic because we’re unraveling THEIR knitting.

:-)


43 posted on 05/13/2013 9:26:44 AM PDT by pax_et_bonum (God Bless America)
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To: pax_et_bonum

Exactly so.


44 posted on 05/13/2013 9:29:14 AM PDT by FreedomPoster (Islam delenda est)
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To: Lazamataz

” . Just because Barack Obama is the only person that could order the assets to stand down, doesn’t mean someone else didn’t do it.”

LOL!


45 posted on 05/13/2013 9:50:55 AM PDT by stephenjohnbanker
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To: Lazamataz

Personally, I blame John You-have-nothing-to-fear-from-an-Obama-presidency McCain for all of it.


46 posted on 05/13/2013 10:36:39 AM PDT by BuckeyeTexan (There are those that break and bend. I'm the other kind. ~Steve Earle)
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To: FreedomPoster
It's making my arthritis act up, puts me in a bad mood.

Tractor trailer of skeins on the way....

47 posted on 05/13/2013 11:01:17 AM PDT by Madame Dufarge
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To: Lazamataz

Das racis!


48 posted on 05/13/2013 12:42:27 PM PDT by glock rocks ("If not us, who? If not now, when?" - Ronald Reagan)
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To: Lazamataz

Laz

This is brilliant. Now go post it on DU and see how long it takes them to realize it’s satire.


49 posted on 05/13/2013 6:28:07 PM PDT by henkster (I have one more cow than my neighbor. I am a kulak.)
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To: henkster

I have a dear friend who is a far-leftwinger. He began tripping out over my copy/paste (of this) on Facebook. I must have hit a bone. :)


50 posted on 05/13/2013 7:06:33 PM PDT by Lazamataz ("AP" clearly stands for American Pravda. Our news media has become completely and proudly Soviet.)
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