Gross dereliction of duty.
I would have originally been open to the incompetence argument with regards to the Commander in Chief's involvement in Bengazi. With info out now, I am convinced that Valerie immediately explained the potential election consequences of any violent escalation and bringing attention to a terrorist attack on our Consulate. I think the election concern influenced a "Stand Down Order" from the White House. The Video excuse for the cause was the second part of that. I think the root cause was political and decisions were made based on future poll expectations and election influence.
In the run up to this debacle, what we see is gross incompetence, complete disregard for the primary duty to protect Americans, no empathy for fellow human beings, and rank stupidity.
I have no doubt that the conversations you describe took place, and that political butt-covering quickly became the supreme interest.