Skip to comments.Couple Married For 36 Years Allowed Limited, Supervised Visits
Posted on 05/15/2013 9:12:43 AM PDT by redreno
CARSON, NV - Thelma Kessler is 86, her husband Stanley, 87. They've been married for 36 years, but now in the sunset of their lives they are allowed to see each other for just one hour a week and a court order gives others the power to file for their divorce.
Thelma no longer has control of her husband's life. That's responsibility now rests with Carson City Public Guardian Debi Marzoline.
After a series of court hearings, Stanley was removed from their home and put in a nursing home. There was an allegation Thelma was starving him and she was labeled a neglectful spouse, a charge she calls ridiculous.
(Excerpt) Read more at kolotv.com ...
Does this give the “Public Guardian” power of attorney over Mr. Kessler’s bank accounts? I’ve read stories of this happening and the “guardian” wiping out her charge’s accounts.
I wonder if there are any family members.
It’s wise to take preemptive action for one’s sunset years. While a will is important, a power of attorney and health care surrogate are more so. If this couple had planned for someone specific to take care of them, the chances are good that this would not happen.
allegations she was starving him? Did they ASK HIM?
Why not send someone to his home with a sandwich every day at noon? Wouldnt that be cheaper?
Personally, I’d far rather be dead than have my life put in charge of any Debby who spells her name wiith an “i”.
In fact, it’s clear, on the basis of her name only, that Debby - with an “i” - should be placed in the hands of a public custodian.
Maybe she has dementia also, and just thinks she feeds him?
Good grief! Many of the elderly lose their appetites and have to be forced to eat, even when they don’t have dementia!
Allegations are just allegations. Have any facts been established? ie anything proven?
It’s a shame, but there’s no perfect solution to these situations. She might not have been feeding him. Asking him would probably elicit an answer about all the great meals she prepared for him ..... 30 years ago. Having had some professional and personal experience with these issues, I can say with some certainty that a news reporter is at least as likely as a judge to get this wrong. I had to participate in separating a couple that had been together for 56 years. He couldn’t move his legs much anymore. She thought he was faking it, so she would kick him. They had cute, old people pictures, too. Maybe local news should do a story on it, so some idiots with very little information can show their righteous indignation. Again, no perfect or even good solution.
That is something I cannot answer.
When my brother’s in-laws moved in with him and his wife, they were alarmed to discover that Mom’s short term memory amd focus had really declined. She started to fix her husband lunch, and was talking and moving around the kitchen doing this and that. An hour and a half later, there was still no lunch, and she was not remotely aware that so much time had passed. He was still hungry, needed to take medication with food, and had been sitting right in front of her the whole time.
The wife in this story may well think she is doing fine, and she really isn’t.
Well I meant it rhetorically. No worries
Like #9 said, it’s a tough situation. I’m wondering what my wife or I would do in a similar situation, by the time it happens, you don’t even know it.
OK, one never knows on FR.
Maybe he ‘won’t’ eat?? Lately my husband has no appetite. There but for the Grace of God go I.
They should check the medications he is receiving. Many of them have side effects that suppress appetite. Of course they will do nothing sensible. Heavy handedness abounds.
Watched the video at the link. Part 2, and it sounds like something fishy’s going on there.
I understand. But a 3rd party forcing divorce? Seems a bit much. In fact it’s sickening.
Those "i's" are a pet peeve of mine, too.
It would appear that the name would have to be pronounced "Deb-eye". Could hardly be pronounced "Debby" because that version has been vacated.
According to the story he's suffering from dementia so he may not be able to answer coherently. But they should be able to tell from a simple examination if he's being starved. And even then that's no guarantee. I've got a mother-in-law in assisted living. She's about the same age as these two and suffering from dementia as well. And I can tell you that she doesn't eat much to begin with, and she and virtually every other resident all hate the food. So he may not be eating because he's old and the food sucks.
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