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Simon Cowell egged on ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ finale [Video]
QMI AGENCY ^ | JUNE 9, 2013

Posted on 06/09/2013 12:44:50 PM PDT by rickmichaels

Judge Simon Cowell faced a nasty surprise on the live season finale of Britain’s Got Talent Saturday.

Security dragged a grinning woman off stage during an opera duo's performance after she started hurling eggs in the direction of Cowell and the other judges.

Cowell had to slip out of his eggy jacket.

“I’m sorry for you guys,” he said following the performance of brothers Richard and Adam Johnson, who continued singing in spite of the commotion.

The woman, Natalie Holt, is a viola player who was performing with the backup band, according to Britain's Daily Mail. She appeared as a contestant on the show last year as part of a quartet.

Holt, 30, has apologized for “overshadowing” the Johnsons’ performance.

“I’ve never done anything like this before and in hindsight I have realized it was a silly thing to do,” she said in a statement.

The police were called but a rep for ITV said in a statement they had no plans for further action.

A Hungarian shadow theatre group called Attraction were declared winners of the competition’s seventh season.

Richard and Adam came in third.

Simon Cowell egged


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous; United Kingdom
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 06/09/2013 12:44:50 PM PDT by rickmichaels
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To: rickmichaels
I'm sure she's not the only one who wanted to do that.

2 posted on 06/09/2013 12:47:19 PM PDT by BitWielder1 (Corporate Profits are better than Government Waste)
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To: rickmichaels

An old girlfriend(in the late 1970s) who was predisposed to some nasty PMS left my basement apartment one day after unloading a bunch of crap on me. I in turn unloaded about a dozen eggs at her VW bug as she backed out of the driveway. A satisfying thing, a well aimed egg gives one.


3 posted on 06/09/2013 12:51:39 PM PDT by Vaquero (Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.)
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To: rickmichaels
What is it with viola players?

Just google "viola jokes."

Viola jokes are a category of jokes which are directed towards violas and viola players. The jokes are thought to have originated from the 18th century when the part of the viola was very uncomplicated and often just a filler part, thus attracting musicians who were not usually very talented either musically or intellectually.[1] Another reason is that viola players were often previously violinists who were not particularly talented and are therefore asked to play the viola, as violin parts are often more demanding.[2] This leads to a generally lower standard of violists, which mean that jokes are made about them. (wiki)

Always be afraid of a viola player, they have serious issues.

4 posted on 06/09/2013 12:53:31 PM PDT by Moltke ("I am Dr. Sonderborg," he said, "and I don't want any nonsense.")
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To: rickmichaels
I have been following Britains Got Talent. The winners were outstanding.

Here are two of their performances.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4Fv98jttYA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOZS_Vq6eKw

Better have a box of tissues on hand if you are going to watch them.

5 posted on 06/09/2013 12:58:35 PM PDT by mware
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To: mware

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOZS_Vq6eKw


6 posted on 06/09/2013 12:58:54 PM PDT by mware
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To: mware

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4Fv98jttYA


7 posted on 06/09/2013 12:59:39 PM PDT by mware
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To: Moltke

What is it with viola players?

Just google “viola jokes.”

Viola jokes are a category of jokes which are directed towards violas and viola players. The jokes are thought to have originated from the 18th century when the part of the viola was very uncomplicated and often just a filler part, thus attracting musicians who were not usually very talented either musically or intellectually.[1] Another reason is that viola players were often previously violinists who were not particularly talented and are therefore asked to play the viola, as violin parts are often more demanding.[2] This leads to a generally lower standard of violists, which mean that jokes are made about them. (wiki)

Always be afraid of a viola player, they have serious issues.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

My favorite I heard was from Victor Borge:

“What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?

A viola burns longer.”

I think he was ragging on both instruments, actually.


8 posted on 06/09/2013 1:00:54 PM PDT by Eccl 10:2 (Prov 3:5 --- "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding")
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To: Moltke

How is lightning like a violist’s fingers?
Neither one strikes in the same place twice.

How do you keep your violin from getting stolen?
Put it in a viola case.

What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?

The viola burns longer.
The viola holds more beer.
You can tune the violin.

We all know that a viola is better than a violin because it burns longer. But why does it burn longer?
It’s usually still in the case.

How do you get a viola section to play spiccato?
Write a whole note with “solo” above it.

How do you get a violist to play a passage pianissimo tremolando?
Mark it “solo.”

What’s the difference between a viola and a coffin?
The coffin has the dead person on the inside.

What do you do with a dead violist?
Move him back a desk.

What’s the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

What’s the difference between a viola and an onion?
No one cries when you cut up a viola.

What’s the definition of a minor second?
Two violists playing in unison.

What’s the definiton of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into a dumpster without hitting the rim.

Why do violists stand for long periods outside people’s houses?
They can’t find the key and they don’t know when to come in.

What’s the difference between a seamstress and a violist?
The seamstress tucks up the frills.

What’s the difference between a washing machine and a violist?
Vibrato.

Why do so many people take an instant dislike to the viola?
It saves time.

How can you tell when a violist is playing out of tune?
The bow is moving.

How was the canon invented?
Two violists were trying to play the same passage together.

Why is playing the viola like peeing in your pants?
They both give you a nice warm feeling without making any sound.

Why is a viola solo like a bomb?
By the time you hear it, it’s too late to do anything about it.

Why is a viola solo like premature ejaculation?
Because even when you know it’s coming, there’s nothing you can do about it.

Why do violists leave their instrument cases on the dashboards of their cars?

So they can park in “handicapped” parking places.
If someone mistakes them for mafia, they might get some respect.

Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.

Why do violists smile when they play?
Because ignorance is bliss and what they don’t know can’t hurt them.

Why shouldn’t violists take up mountaineering?
Because if they get lost, it takes ages before anyone notices that they’re missing.

What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a crushed viola in the road?
Skid marks before the skunk.

How do you get a violin to sound like a viola?

Sit in the back and don’t play.
Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.

If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? (two answers)

The violist. The soprano would have to stop halfway down to ask directions.
Who cares?

A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road. which one do you run over first, and why?
The conductor. Business before pleasure.

What’s the most popular recording of the William Walton viola concerto?
Music Minus One

What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

What is the range of a Viola?
As far as you can kick it.

What do a SCUD missile and a viola player have in common?
They’re both offensive and inaccurate.

Why are violas so large?
It’s an optical illusion. It’s not that the violas are large; just that the viola players’ heads are so small.

What’s the difference between a chain saw and a viola?
If you absolutely had to, you could use a chain saw in a string quartet.

What is the definition of a cluster chord?
A viola section playing on the C string.

Why do violists get antsy when they see the Kama Sutra?
All those positions!

If you’re lost in the desert, what do you aim for? A good viola player, a bad viola player or an oasis?
The bad viola player. The other two are only figments of your imagination.

Why shouldn’t you drive off a cliff in a mini with three violas in it?
You could fit in at least one more.

How many violists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They’re not small enough to fit.

Why do people tremble with fear when someone comes into a bank carrying a violin case?
They think he’s carrying a machine gun and might be about to use it.

Why do people tremble with fear when someone comes into a bank carrying a viola case?
They think he’s carrying a viola and might be about to use it.

What’s the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?

half a measure
a semi-tone

Why can’t you hear a viola on a digital recording?
Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.

Did you hear about the violist who bragged that he could play 32nd notes?
The rest of the orchestra didn’t believe him, so he proved it by playing one.

Why is viola called “bratsche” in Germany?
Because that’s the sound it makes when you sit down on it.

Why can’t a violist play with a knife in his back?
Because he can’t lean back in his chair.

What instrument do violists envy most?
The harp. You only ever have to play pizzicato on open strings.

What’s another name for viola auditions?
Scratch lottery.

What is the difference between a violist and a prostitute?

A prostitute knows more than two positions.
Prostitutes have a better sense of rhythm.

What is the similarity between a violist and a prostitute?
Both are paid to fake climaxes.

How do you get a dozen violists to play in tune?

Shoot 11 of them.
Shoot all of them.
Who the hell wants a dozen violists?

What’s the latest crime wave in New York City?
Drive-by viola recitals.

How does a violist’s brain cell die?
Alone.

How do you call a violist with two brain cells?
Pregnant.

Why do violists have pea-sized brains?
Because alcohol has swelled them.

How many violists does it take to make a batch of chocolate chip cookies?
Ten. One to stir the batter and nine to peel the M & M’s.

What’s the similarity between the Beatles and the viola section of the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra?
Neither has played together since 1970.

What is the longest viola joke?
Harold in Italy

What do you call a bunch of violists in a hot tub?
Vegetable soup.

Did you hear about the violist who played in tune?
Neither did I.

What is the main reqirement at the “International Viola Competition?”
Hold the viola from memory.

Why did the violist marry the accordion player?
Upward mobility.

How do you transcribe a violin piece for viola?
Divide the metronome marking by 2.

Why do you always bury a viola player three feet under?
Because deep down they are all very nice people.

How do you keep a violist from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.

Etc.


9 posted on 06/09/2013 1:04:37 PM PDT by Moltke ("I am Dr. Sonderborg," he said, "and I don't want any nonsense.")
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To: rickmichaels

Every time I hear his name I think of this ignorant flash animation.

http://www.weebls-stuff.com/songs/Owls/


10 posted on 06/09/2013 1:52:33 PM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy (Best WoT news at rantburg.com)
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To: Vaquero

Pity the poor egg.


11 posted on 06/09/2013 2:56:13 PM PDT by jmacusa (Political correctness is cultural Marxism. I'm not a Marxist.)
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To: Moltke

It goes both ways:
Q: Why are violas bigger than violins?
A: They aren’t it is just violin players have bigger heads

And into other instruments as well

Q: What do you call someone who hangs around musicians?
A: A drummer

Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with drummers?
A: The Bass player

Q: Why are the intermissions in a symphony only 15 minutes long?
A: Because that way the conductor won’t forget where he is

Q: What do you call a bassoon player with 1/2 a brain?
A: Gifted and talented

Q: What is the difference between a musician and a large pizza?
A: The pizza can feed a family of 4 at least once


12 posted on 06/09/2013 4:47:04 PM PDT by Fai Mao (Genius at Large)
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To: Fai Mao

Q: What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.


13 posted on 06/09/2013 4:56:03 PM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult (Liberals make unrealistic demands on reality and reality doesn't oblige them.)
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