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George Zimmermanís Defense Attorney Kicks Off Opening Statement With a Knock-Knock Joke
New York Magazine ^ | 6/24/2013 | Dan Amira

Posted on 06/24/2013 1:01:12 PM PDT by nickcarraway

Conference room, yesterday afternoon:

Zimmerman defense attorney Mark O'Mara: Look, Don, I know how much you love knock-knock jokes. But are you sure the opening statement of a murder trial is an appropriate setting for one?

Zimmerman defense attorney Don West: If there is one place where a knock-knock joke is most appropriate, it's a murder trial.

O'Mara: Listen, Don, let's—

West: Knock-knock.

O'Mara: No, come on, Don, not now. West: Knock-knock.

O'Mara: [Sighs.] Who's there?

West: Mark.

O'Mara: Mark who?

West: Mark who should just shut his stupid face because he doesn't know the first thing about being a trial lawyer, or knock-knock jokes, and should just go order the Chinese food like he said he was going to do half an hour ago and should not forget to ask for brown rice instead of white rice, like he did last time.

O'Mara: Okay, Don. That's not even a joke — that's just a string of insults. West: Knock-knock.


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Extended News; US: Florida
KEYWORDS:
George Zimmerman’s Defense Attorney Kicks Off Opening Statement With a Knock-Knock Joke


The awkward moment when you realize you hired an incompetent attorney to keep you out of jail.

1 posted on 06/24/2013 1:01:12 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway

*Sigh*


2 posted on 06/24/2013 1:02:56 PM PDT by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: nickcarraway
I'd like to hear th next twenty minutes or so of whatever this lawyer had to say.

The prosecutor basically convinced me that he (the prosecutor) is mentally ill by his own opening statements.

3 posted on 06/24/2013 1:03:43 PM PDT by varmintman
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To: nickcarraway
If it weren't for bad luck, George Zimmerman would have no luck at all.

I could have given a better opening statement for the defense, for free.

4 posted on 06/24/2013 1:03:53 PM PDT by wideawake
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To: nickcarraway

Lame


5 posted on 06/24/2013 1:04:06 PM PDT by saganite (What happens to taglines? Is there a termination date?)
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To: nickcarraway

It would be nice if Zimmerman had a lawyer.


6 posted on 06/24/2013 1:06:24 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (Join the Democrats, it's not Fascism when WE do it, and the Constitution and law mean what WE say.)
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To: varmintman

So, both attorneys are mentally ill? It sounds like the defense attorney thinks he’ll get more attention if Zimmerman is convicted. He’s operating at a sub-Geragos level.


7 posted on 06/24/2013 1:06:35 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: varmintman
I'd like to hear th next twenty minutes or so of whatever this lawyer had to say.

The first minute is the most important.

The prosecutor basically convinced me that he (the prosecutor) is mentally ill by his own opening statements.

The prosecutor quite intelligently gave a emotionally-laden, fact-light opening statement - which is what the circumstances of his case required.

Far from being crazy, he shrewdly did what he needed to do.

8 posted on 06/24/2013 1:06:52 PM PDT by wideawake
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To: nickcarraway

WTF???
Ok, I am not someone who watches many trials, but what the heck is this lawyer trying to do?


9 posted on 06/24/2013 1:14:24 PM PDT by AndyTheBear
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To: nickcarraway

Now the pro Trayvon people are always saying that the screaming on the recordings were Trayvon screaming for his life. I don’t think any of them deny he hit Zimmerman (although they call it a scuffle between the two).

My question, is do they believe that he was screaming for his life as he saw the gun before or after or during he was “fighting” with Zimmerman.

I honestly cannot see any even remote scenario where someone sees a gun, so they start screaming for their life like crazy, but then starts punching the one that makes them scream for their life.


10 posted on 06/24/2013 1:15:53 PM PDT by MNDude (Sorry for typos. Probably written on a smartphone, and I have big clumsy fingers.)
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To: nickcarraway

Q: What’s wrong with Lawyer jokes?

A: Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else thinks they’re jokes.

Well, at least he’ll have a strong argument for a new trial based on poor legal representation.


11 posted on 06/24/2013 1:16:55 PM PDT by Sopater (Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? - Matthew 20:15a)
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To: AndyTheBear

If I had to guess, trying to get his client convicted.


12 posted on 06/24/2013 1:18:16 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: AndyTheBear

If I had to guess, trying to get his client convicted.


13 posted on 06/24/2013 1:18:16 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: AndyTheBear

If I had to guess, trying to get his client convicted.


14 posted on 06/24/2013 1:18:16 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway
Like some pathetic seventh-season episode of Matlock


15 posted on 06/24/2013 1:18:53 PM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: nickcarraway

As a general rule, if the joke teller has to tell the audience that the joke was funny after nobody laughs — then the joke wan’t funny.


16 posted on 06/24/2013 1:20:06 PM PDT by NotYourAverageDhimmi
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To: Sopater
Q: What's the difference between a tragedy and a dammed shame?

:-) I actually asked that of some local ambulance chaser at a walk-up booth at a conference I attended. But, in my defense, his sign *did* say "Please ask me about anything!"

17 posted on 06/24/2013 1:23:41 PM PDT by wbill
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To: MNDude
Think - if you were alone and somebody pulled a gun on you (the scenario that the prosecution is arguing happened), would you scream "Help"?

You would either go for the gun, run away, or plead: "Don't shoot, man - we can work this out, etc."

Realistically, you are not going to assume that a random stranger in shouting distance is going to come running in time to willingly disarm a gunman.

You shout help if you are being beaten up - since a random stranger within shouting distance is more likely to (a) stop a fistfight rather than a gunfight and (b) a random stranger cannot outrun a bullet but usually can get there before you are beaten to death.

Had Martin spoken on tape I would have expected to hear: "No! Don't!" or "Don't shoot!"

18 posted on 06/24/2013 1:24:58 PM PDT by wideawake
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To: wideawake

I was once in a store where a guy pulled out a gun and began pointing it at everyone in there.

Believe me, screaming “Help! Help!” was the last thing on my mind.

The claims that it was Trayvon screaming are so improbable that it’s not even funny. Yet, it seems like that’s what all the YouTube posters seem to believe.


19 posted on 06/24/2013 1:28:37 PM PDT by MNDude (Sorry for typos. Probably written on a smartphone, and I have big clumsy fingers.)
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To: MNDude
I had a gun pulled on me once as well.

I did not shout "Help!"

He said: "C'mon mother******."

I said: "Here" and handed him my wallet and watch.

I highly doubt that Trayvon Martin had less "street knowledge" than I have.

20 posted on 06/24/2013 1:38:50 PM PDT by wideawake
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To: nickcarraway

Lamest opening line in an opening statement ever! The defense lawyer seems really like a dry guy which is okay but dry guys probably should not be in the joke business as a general matter.


21 posted on 06/24/2013 1:40:45 PM PDT by AtlasStalled
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To: nickcarraway

Knock-Knock!

Who’s There?

Anne

Anne Who?

Anne Acquittal would be nice!

Ba-dah-bum!

I’m here till Thursday, try the veal!


22 posted on 06/24/2013 1:57:13 PM PDT by Rebel_Ace (Tags?!? Tags?!? We don' neeeed no stinkin' Tags!)
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To: nickcarraway

Knock-Knock!

Who’s There?

Betty

Betty Who?

Betty wishes he stayed in the car now!

Ba-da-bum!


23 posted on 06/24/2013 2:00:35 PM PDT by Rebel_Ace (Tags?!? Tags?!? We don' neeeed no stinkin' Tags!)
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To: Rebel_Ace

I remember this one from 20 years ago:

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

Amy Fisher.

Amy Fisher wh... [BANG!]


24 posted on 06/24/2013 2:06:12 PM PDT by AuH2ORepublican (If a politician won't protect innocent babies, what makes you think that he'll defend your rights?)
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To: nickcarraway

I don’t know what the point & relevance of that text is, but the video is...scary stupid.


25 posted on 06/24/2013 2:06:45 PM PDT by ctdonath2 (Making good people helpless doesn't make bad people harmless.)
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To: nickcarraway

My favorite knock, knock joke was the one used in the movie “Catch Me If You Can”.


26 posted on 06/24/2013 2:12:04 PM PDT by BulletBobCo
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To: wideawake; MNDude

Didn’t work for me; I was shot.

http://i1308.photobucket.com/albums/s607/Family_Farm/DCP_1319_zpsa92999cd.jpg


27 posted on 06/24/2013 2:12:55 PM PDT by carriage_hill (Guns kill people, pencils misspell words, cars drive drunk & spoons make you fat.)
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To: nickcarraway
This guy is a prominent, experienced criminal defense lawyer. I can't believe he did this. It's like the rule against analogies - even if you think you have a great one, don't give in to the temptation.

One man is dead and another is on trial for his life - not a time for telling a joke.

28 posted on 06/24/2013 2:17:29 PM PDT by colorado tanker
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To: nickcarraway

I couldn’t believe it.Shocked.


29 posted on 06/24/2013 2:18:51 PM PDT by fatima (Free Hugs Today :))
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To: carriage_hill
Sorry to hear that.

My mugger seemed to be more about cash and quick turnover than mayhem - news reports indicated he hit about six people that night.

30 posted on 06/24/2013 2:20:13 PM PDT by wideawake
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To: nickcarraway

I had to plug in my speakers and hear it to believe it. I’d fire him the very hour.
ps: GZ is starting to look like Chaz Bono.


31 posted on 06/24/2013 2:32:33 PM PDT by HomeAtLast
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To: All

I don’t think it was as so much a joke as he was trying to get a point across - the point being - who HASN’T heard of George Zimmerman.


32 posted on 06/24/2013 2:49:34 PM PDT by jackibutterfly (Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. :-))
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To: wideawake

That was 1974; I’m still carrying that .32cal. State law is that if a hospital takes out a bullet, the cops get it as ‘evidence’; I want to wear it around my neck on a chain if they remove it. So it stays put. I was lucky. It missed all organs/bones etc, and didn’t even bleed. Just a large red lump on my side w/ a black dot in the center. Can’t hardly even see the scar, now.


33 posted on 06/24/2013 2:53:47 PM PDT by carriage_hill (Guns kill people, pencils misspell words, cars drive drunk & spoons make you fat.)
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To: jackibutterfly

When a comment requires that much apologetic lead-in, find another way of making the point.


34 posted on 06/24/2013 2:58:47 PM PDT by ctdonath2 (Making good people helpless doesn't make bad people harmless.)
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To: Sopater
My favorite lawyer jokes is that they've started using lawyers for medical testing instead of lab rats. For three reasons:
  1. Lawyers are more plentiful than the rats.
  2. The lab assistants don't get as attached to the lawyers as they do to the rats.
  3. And there's some things a rat just won't do.

35 posted on 06/24/2013 3:14:23 PM PDT by DannyTN
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To: jackibutterfly

EPIC FAIL


36 posted on 06/24/2013 3:27:51 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: carriage_hill

The cops get a 39 year old bullet? If you found a reasonable person at the local law enforcement, I assume you could make an agreement?


37 posted on 06/24/2013 3:29:43 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: carriage_hill

The cops get a 39 year old bullet? If you found a reasonable person at the local law enforcement, I assume you could make an agreement?


38 posted on 06/24/2013 3:29:43 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: carriage_hill

Go to Nevada and have it taken out there.


39 posted on 06/24/2013 3:41:53 PM PDT by AuH2ORepublican (If a politician won't protect innocent babies, what makes you think that he'll defend your rights?)
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To: Sopater

Q: Whats black and tan and looks good on a lawyer?

A: A Doberman Pinscer


40 posted on 06/24/2013 3:51:29 PM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped.)
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To: AndyTheBear
but what the heck is this lawyer trying to do?

Set up a case for George to appeal the verdict on grounds of incompetant representation.

41 posted on 06/24/2013 5:01:41 PM PDT by Oztrich Boy ("New Yorks Finest" are now "The Untouchables")
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To: AuH2ORepublican

I’m used to it, now. I hate surgery, hospitals, dentists etc.


42 posted on 06/25/2013 7:45:43 AM PDT by carriage_hill (Guns kill people, pencils misspell words, cars drive drunk & spoons make you fat.)
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