‘It is always good to die as a Martyr (SHAHID) because you can always claim that the folks who sent you to heaven were the tool of an Infidel or related to an infidel or a cousin of an infidel or a member of a corrupt regime sponsored by the infidel...in other words you can always justify being martyred via some infidel connection. Maybe a Sunni things a Shiite is an infidel too?’
An 18-year-old suicide bomber blew himself up and appeared before Allah.
He said, “Oh, Allah, I did your bidding, but I have a request. Since I’m only 18 and spent all my time in terrorist training school, I never was with a woman. So, instead of 72 virgins, can I have 72 prostitutes?”
Allah regarded him for a moment, then replied, “Actually, the 72 virgins are here in heaven because people like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So you’re here to service them. Since they’re virgins, they’re quite sexually hungry; and frankly, you’ll be on a constant and very exhausting duty.”
The bomber responded, “Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?”
Allah replied quizzing, “Who told you they were women?”