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The Opt-out Generation Wants Back In
New York Fishwrap ^ | 8/11/13 | Warner

Posted on 08/11/2013 2:30:46 PM PDT by pabianice

Sheilah O’Donnel tells herself that her new home, a townhouse in a development in Chevy Chase, Md., just a stone’s throw from a Safeway, isn’t really all that bad. Sure, it’s near a gas station. And the front window, with its cheerily upholstered cushions, overlooks a dreary parking lot. And yes, it’s kind of small — “an apartment,” O’Donnel, who is 44, sometimes says bitterly, when she’s reminded of her former life with her ex-husband in their custom-built, six-bedroom home. But then again, it’s perfectly maintained and impeccably furnished, and most important, it’s rented with her own money, from the first real job she has had in almost a decade. From the Archive Lisa Belkin's 2003 Article on the Opt-Out Revolution »

It’s a midlevel sales job, a big step down from the senior position she held before she had children and quit work. When she was first hired, in May 2011, her salary was just a fifth of what she earned at her peak. But, she said, she wasn’t complaining. All around her, she saw women her age scrambling to find work, some divorcing and losing their homes. She liked to help them, editing their résumés, polishing cover letters, pumping up tearful friends who forgot what they were worth after years without a paycheck.

After one emotional session with a friend, her 12-year-old daughter asked what all the fuss was about. O’Donnel told her: “This is the perfect reason why you need to work. You don’t have to make a million dollars. You don’t have to have a wealthy lifestyle. You just always have to be able to at least earn enough so you can support yourself.”

Nine years ago, O’Donnel was promoting a very different message...

(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Culture/Society; Philosophy; Politics/Elections; US: Maryland
KEYWORDS: divorce; reallife; women
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This is an overly-long, unintentionally funny feminist whine about ever having dared to chose your family over a job. While there is some economic truth to the article, it falls completely within the Fishwrap's Liberal Psychotic view of life and is cruel to any women who dared to leave the Plantation. It also unfairly attacks former husbands who (Damn them!) have become even more financially and socially successful. It is why the NYT will be sold for a dollar in a few more years.
1 posted on 08/11/2013 2:30:46 PM PDT by pabianice
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To: pabianice

...an accurate analysis adroitly alliterated.


2 posted on 08/11/2013 2:36:29 PM PDT by gorush (History repeats itself because human nature is static)
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To: pabianice

Life’s a bitch! (and then you die)


3 posted on 08/11/2013 2:40:37 PM PDT by YHAOS
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To: pabianice

Women, en mass, voluntarily giving up motherhood is the death of civilization.


4 posted on 08/11/2013 2:43:15 PM PDT by 3Fingas (Sons and Daughters of Freedom, Committee of Correspondence)
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To: pabianice

“It also unfairly attacks former husbands who (Damn them!) have become even more financially and socially successful.”

Boats move faster without an anchor attached.


5 posted on 08/11/2013 2:49:07 PM PDT by USFRIENDINVICTORIA
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To: pabianice

I worry about my son. He is drawn to women like this and wants to have kids. What is he to do?


6 posted on 08/11/2013 2:51:46 PM PDT by Mercat
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To: YHAOS

Life’s a bitch! (and then you die)

What, not taxes??


7 posted on 08/11/2013 2:52:20 PM PDT by mountainlion (Live well for those that did not make it back.)
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To: pabianice

I smell BS. How many people at Oracle make 500,000 per year? How many people can walk away from that?


8 posted on 08/11/2013 2:53:01 PM PDT by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: Mercat

A prenupt that says she works after child birth?


9 posted on 08/11/2013 2:53:56 PM PDT by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: central_va

Totally not enforceable.


10 posted on 08/11/2013 2:56:59 PM PDT by Mercat
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To: Mercat

Marry my daughter who wants a pile of kids, has been homeschooled and is now in missions, and who would provide one of the most creative and God-centered family life available.


11 posted on 08/11/2013 2:59:04 PM PDT by Chickensoup (200 million unarmed " people killed in the 20th century by Leftist Totalitarian Fascists)
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To: pabianice
Yet more spoiled Gen Xers (my generation, BTW) who think they can have it both ways. "What? I can't take 10 years off to raise a family, then get the exact same job back with the exact same pay and benes? Why, that's unfair!"

Generation x, you (we) suck. You're (we're) a bunch of spoiled whiners, who are the worst parents in the history of the world. Your kids (can't say 'our kids' here, 'cause I have none) are going to be the downfall of our Republic.

Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho!

12 posted on 08/11/2013 3:03:43 PM PDT by wku man (Amnesty? No Way, Jose (No Se Puede!) by 10 Pound Test http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsTUQ8yOI2c)
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To: Chickensoup

God will provide her with a husband.


13 posted on 08/11/2013 3:08:25 PM PDT by Rodamala
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To: Mercat
I worry about my son. He is drawn to women like this and wants to have kids. What is he to do?

Go abroad and find a woman from a non-broken culture.

14 posted on 08/11/2013 3:08:34 PM PDT by SIDENET
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To: YHAOS

Live in Hopey Changey, die in Despair.


15 posted on 08/11/2013 3:14:39 PM PDT by Kickass Conservative (They can follow the Communist, I'll follow the Constitution...)
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To: pabianice

This woman will be held up as a victim of discrimination because she couldn’t get her job back since she left work to raise a family. It like extended maternity leave. Lawsuit to follow.


16 posted on 08/11/2013 3:18:52 PM PDT by keving (We get the government we vote for)
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To: keving

There is already discrimination against those who’ve been out of work for a year or more, since the 2008 recession started, and she’s been out of work for a decade. She’s lucky to have gotten a job at all.


17 posted on 08/11/2013 3:26:13 PM PDT by tbw2
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA; pabianice
“It also unfairly attacks former husbands who (Damn them!) have become even more financially and socially successful.”

Boats move faster without an anchor attached.


18 posted on 08/11/2013 3:28:17 PM PDT by Old Sarge (Opinions are like orgasms: only mine count, and I could care less if you have one...)
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To: pabianice

the link won’t work


19 posted on 08/11/2013 3:32:24 PM PDT by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
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To: pabianice

About all I could get out of the article was: choices have consequences!


20 posted on 08/11/2013 3:35:19 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet (The only growth industries left under Progressives are government and poverty.)
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To: pabianice

“...who forgot what they were worth after years without a paycheck.”

Sweetheart? We’re ALL Free Agents from the git-go. So SORRY no one told you that! Your ‘marketable skill’ was being a Wife and you were paid HANDSOMELY with that 6-bedroom Home-In-The-Burbs! When your skills were no longer needed, you were kicked to the curb. Been there. Done that. Survived and THRIVED.

I’m REALLY enjoying their pain. As a Poor White Woman Scraping By In Her 50’s, is that Racist? The unwritten rules change every day - it’s hard to keep up, LOL!


21 posted on 08/11/2013 3:41:33 PM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
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To: wku man

Spoken like a true boomer! Well said sir!


22 posted on 08/11/2013 3:41:44 PM PDT by JCBreckenridge
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To: pabianice

“She gave up a quarter of her earnings in exchange for working three days a week, but felt marginalized, her best accounts given to others, meetings often scheduled on her days out of the office. ‘I felt like a second-class citizen,’ she said.”

Boo-Effin-Hoo! You show up to DO THE JOB you’re paid $500K to DO, or you’re WORTHLESS to your employer.

Jeeze, these women are SO smart! *Rolleyes*


23 posted on 08/11/2013 3:44:42 PM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
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To: pabianice

There’s no talk of God or faith in this article although I didn’t finish it. Corrupted culture often produces self-inflicted marital and family complex scenarios. Families stayed intact and thrived economically well in the 1950’s and into the 60’s too.
Our society has rapidly regressed downward overall.


24 posted on 08/11/2013 3:48:28 PM PDT by tflabo (Truth or Tyranny)
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To: Diana in Wisconsin

“When your skills were no longer needed, you were kicked to the curb.”

You might want to re-read the article. She divorced him, not the other way around. She wasn’t kicked to the curb. She decided to go off on her own. She had it made - a husband making a ton of money and kids and a house. And threw it all away.


25 posted on 08/11/2013 3:48:58 PM PDT by JCBreckenridge
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To: JCBreckenridge

Oops! Sorry. Either way, I wasn’t feeling the LEAST bit sorry for her. :)


26 posted on 08/11/2013 3:49:43 PM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
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To: JCBreckenridge

“There were ugly fights with her husband about laundry and over who would step in when the nanny was out sick.”

OMG! OMG! She was JUSTIFIED in leaving, then, LOL!


27 posted on 08/11/2013 3:51:12 PM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
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To: SIDENET

I think he should start going to Church and/or come home to Kansas. but hey, what do I know


28 posted on 08/11/2013 3:51:25 PM PDT by Mercat
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To: pabianice

[She liked to help them, editing their résumés, polishing cover letters, pumping up tearful friends who forgot what they were worth after years without a paycheck. ]

“You broke it, you bought it.”

Too bad dysfunctional single “parenting” feminazi enablers like her will never have to PAY for they broke.


29 posted on 08/11/2013 3:55:10 PM PDT by TArcher ("TO SECURE THESE RIGHTS, governments are instituted among men" -- Does that still work?)
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To: Diana in Wisconsin

I know, right! Can you imagine that cad wanting *her* to actually wash clothes!

Clearly just another part of the oppressive patriarchy. Ugh!

And here I have to do trash, clean out the kitty boxes, do the grocery shopping, keep the car maintained. ;)


30 posted on 08/11/2013 4:00:57 PM PDT by JCBreckenridge
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To: JCBreckenridge

My 52 y/o sister has been a stay at home mom raising her kids. Her husband has a steady decent paying job although he’s ran up credit cards and their home is in foreclosure.
Nothing a little Dave Ramsey applied steps couldn’t cure but my sister wants a divorce plus she’s rekindled a high school romance and is locked into that direction. A christian marriage counselor is what they need and he’s for it but not her. I worry some because she has very little marketable skills other than some office work but it costs a fortune to live in the NY area. Oh well its her choice and she will have to live with it but I tried to steer her toward reconciling her marriage but she’s not having any of it. Its become quite toxic now her divorce proceedings. My sweet sister is turning into a mean beeeech sad to say.


31 posted on 08/11/2013 4:02:22 PM PDT by tflabo (Truth or Tyranny)
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To: JCBreckenridge

How’re your Boomer parents doing riding the edumacation gravy train these days, junior?

FAIL


32 posted on 08/11/2013 4:04:33 PM PDT by TArcher ("TO SECURE THESE RIGHTS, governments are instituted among men" -- Does that still work?)
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To: tflabo

At 52, rekindling a ‘high school romance?’

Within they year, she’ll be hitting you up for cash, just like the lady in this article.


33 posted on 08/11/2013 4:06:44 PM PDT by JCBreckenridge
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To: TArcher

Which one, do you want my father or mother?


34 posted on 08/11/2013 4:07:46 PM PDT by JCBreckenridge
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To: JCBreckenridge

You know JC she’s hooked on a fantasy in her mind and I’ve told her such. She’s free to make her own mistakes and live with the results. Pains me to say that but that’s what its become.


35 posted on 08/11/2013 4:11:40 PM PDT by tflabo (Truth or Tyranny)
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To: tflabo

I don’t understand it. We work hard to provide. I know how I would feel if someone took the time to do something special for me (as if that would ever happen!). I’m not married and it baffles me to see ladies throwing a precious gift in the trash.

Then I get to hear about all the complaints about how ‘all the good ones are taken’.


36 posted on 08/11/2013 4:17:40 PM PDT by JCBreckenridge
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To: 3Fingas

It’s true. Too bad they won’t listen to all the men so reluctant to have sex out of wedlock


37 posted on 08/11/2013 4:26:30 PM PDT by stanne
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To: JCBreckenridge

It’s just interesting to observe the Boomer’s demoralized XBoxed, medicated, tattooed, faced-metaled, dysfunctional progeny at “work”.

A generation of failing individuals blaming their parents just like their parents did before them - for not being able to cheat and game their way through the system as easily as they think it should be.

Don’t need a Weatherman to see which way the wind is blowing in *that* Matrix.


38 posted on 08/11/2013 4:37:32 PM PDT by TArcher ("TO SECURE THESE RIGHTS, governments are instituted among men" -- Does that still work?)
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To: TArcher

If you believe that the present ‘non-boomers’ are pampered - look at the economy from 1945 to, say, 2000.

Boomers had, what? One recession in the 1980s? That was it? In 45 years? That’s a pretty good run.

If you look at the so called millenials, we haven’t had net economic growth in 13 years. So, for those of us who came of age in 2000, we’ve had 13 years of our professional life with a declining economy.

Boomers who came of age in 1963, had the precise opposite. 20 years before they hit a small recession and another 20 years after that of steady growth. If you were born in 1945, you were 55 when the economy started to taper in 2000.

That’s not a bad run at all. Retire at 55 and you’re done. We’re already 13 years behind and the current policies look to be another 10 years just to get back to where we were in 2000.


39 posted on 08/11/2013 5:23:05 PM PDT by JCBreckenridge
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To: JCBreckenridge

The economy was pretty rotten from ‘73 through the early 80s. Family income peaked in ‘73 and has been stagnant or falling since, if you believe what you read om the papers.


40 posted on 08/11/2013 6:02:08 PM PDT by I Shall Endure
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To: JCBreckenridge

[we’ve had 13 years of our professional life with a declining economy.]

Awe, boo hoo. Maybe that’s because bullshyte, buzzwords, and high-score on XBox Live aren’t very useful for actually PRODUCING something.

Those who can, do. Those who can’t, fail by teaching others that their failure isn’t really theirs.


41 posted on 08/11/2013 6:15:39 PM PDT by TArcher ("TO SECURE THESE RIGHTS, governments are instituted among men" -- Does that still work?)
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To: TArcher

News article on Fox. More and more college grads are unable to pass a basic competence exam when seeking a job in business. All those “no count” Fs and “drop anytime you wants” in college didn’t do much to prepare you for a real world, did they?


42 posted on 08/11/2013 6:27:49 PM PDT by pabianice
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To: TArcher

Boomers have been such excellent teachers that we are seeing their influence today on the business world with Boomers as the captain of industry.

How is it working? Not very well!

As for me providing valuable skills, there’s a bunch of nurses who are nurses because of me. :) I tutored them so that they were able to get up to speed (and correct the extremely poor instruction they had received from their boomer teachers).

I’m not impressed with ‘common core’ and other boomer gimmicks designed to hobble the education of Americans. I go quite a bit further back. Perhaps you’ve heard of Dewey?


43 posted on 08/11/2013 6:29:16 PM PDT by JCBreckenridge
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To: JCBreckenridge

I was just beotchin’ about this the other day!

My kids are grown, the ex-huz is in ‘La-La-Land’ due to drugs and alcohol, and I’m still farming and keeping this place up by myself!

I do every bit as much every day as I did when they were all underfoot...BUT - the benefits in the end are mine, all mine! :)


44 posted on 08/11/2013 6:39:42 PM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
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To: JCBreckenridge

>>That’s not a bad run at all. Retire at 55 and you’re done

Done what — being a L.I.F.E.R.?


45 posted on 08/11/2013 6:42:35 PM PDT by TArcher ("TO SECURE THESE RIGHTS, governments are instituted among men" -- Does that still work?)
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To: JCBreckenridge

>>Boomers have been such excellent teachers

The lesson that your generation’s failures are somebody else’s fault certainly seems to have been taught well.

If you hate your career so much that not being able to escape from it at age 55 terribly disappoints you — then whose fault is that?

You are what you allow yourself to be, L.I.F.E.R.


46 posted on 08/11/2013 6:55:34 PM PDT by TArcher ("TO SECURE THESE RIGHTS, governments are instituted among men" -- Does that still work?)
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To: TArcher

“The lesson that your generation’s failures are somebody else’s fault certainly seems to have been taught well.”

The current economic crisis can hardly be blamed on us, but it would be just like the boomers who are in power to do exactly that.

It is not *our* failure that the economy is not doing well, but yours. Your parents handed you a corvette, and you’ve turned it into a volvo.

“If you hate your career so much that not being able to escape from it at age 55 terribly disappoints you — then whose fault is that?”

Where did I state I hated my career? I like my career as a teacher. What I did state is that a boomer who was born in 1946 had a pretty sweet run, his entire working career was a breeze.

His children do not have that luxury.


47 posted on 08/11/2013 7:03:48 PM PDT by JCBreckenridge
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To: TArcher

That’s the boomer attitude isn’t it? Complain about your job and then retire at 55 on the taxpayer dole.


48 posted on 08/11/2013 7:04:48 PM PDT by JCBreckenridge
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To: pabianice

>>didn’t do much to prepare you for a real world, did they?

I was on a jury a few years ago with a professor of physics from UCIrvine.

Over the course of the trial we ate lunch together and he articulated his frustrated irritation regarding the amount and sophistication of cheating he observed going on.

He said they rationalized their behavior - “everybody does it” “that’s what you have to do to survive”.

It’s same attitude self-evident among the predators who graduated into the systemic corrupt manufacture of AAA a$$paper that was shoveled into the global economic infrastructure ala the Sub-Prime farce.

Deliberate, systemic, CORRUPTION. If they didn’t learn it in college, then where?

From their parents, or the lack thereof; and those multiple generations of demoralized failure are coming home to roost.


49 posted on 08/11/2013 7:05:35 PM PDT by TArcher ("TO SECURE THESE RIGHTS, governments are instituted among men" -- Does that still work?)
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To: Diana in Wisconsin

Sorry to hear that about your ex husband. :( That sucks. No hubby on my end, all the improvements here go to the landlady who owns the place. The nice thing is that I pretty much have the place to myself. :)


50 posted on 08/11/2013 7:06:08 PM PDT by JCBreckenridge
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