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Facing Shortages, Venezuela Takes Over Toilet Paper Factory
CNN ^ | September 21, 2013 | Marilia Brochetto and Greg Botelho

Posted on 09/22/2013 9:48:20 AM PDT by lbryce

Edited on 09/22/2013 10:48:15 AM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]

When you're running low on toilet paper and getting desperate, what do you do?

If you're the Venezuelan government, you take over a toilet paper factory.

On Saturday, Vice President Jorge Arreaza announced the "temporary occupation" of the Paper Manufacturing Company's plant in the state of Aragua. The aim, he explained, is to review the "production, marketing and distribution (of) toilet paper."


(Excerpt) Read more at cnn.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Foreign Affairs; Government; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: shortage; socialism; toiletpaper
There's a little known economic study that has been given little credence despite the numerous examples of anecdotal corroboration, that countries who usurp private property, huge tracts of land to be parceled out to the needy, where greedy governments will take over domestic industries on nothing but an ideological whim, have suffered consequences of little understood vagaries of economic happenstance whereby the result is a run on toilet paper, a severe shortage of which the Socialist government in Caracas has already announced an elegant solution to the shortage, if the word could ever apply.

The Socialist government's announcement put an immediate stop to the crisis when it was announced that from now on the 100 Trillion Venezuelan Note with Hugo Chavez's face wasted away by testicular cancer released in the aftermath of his timely death was already only equal to the value of one square patch of toilet paper and so the public is advised to secure their own supply.

1 posted on 09/22/2013 9:48:20 AM PDT by lbryce
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To: lbryce
The aim, he explained, is to review the "production, marketing and distribution (of) toilet paper."

Because everyone knows that the government can do everything better.

2 posted on 09/22/2013 9:50:39 AM PDT by grobdriver
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To: lbryce

It goes without saying that the shortages will get even worse now.


3 posted on 09/22/2013 9:53:11 AM PDT by dirtboy
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To: lbryce

Nothin spells out a nation’s greatness like nationalized butt wipes.


4 posted on 09/22/2013 9:54:26 AM PDT by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: lbryce

Send them 0, the flies love him!


5 posted on 09/22/2013 9:57:20 AM PDT by Errant
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To: lbryce
"The ... People's Defense from the Economy will not allow hoarding or failures in the production and distribution of essential commodities," the vice president said.

Any employee with an ounce of brains, will put as much distance between himself and that factory as he can.

6 posted on 09/22/2013 9:58:41 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (Join the Democrats, it's not Fascism when WE do it, and the Constitution and law mean what WE say.)
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To: dirtboy

I have been to a communist country with toilet paper shortages. People on the plane were carrying large trash bags full of tp remnants....looked like maybe from a hotel when they changed out the tp. I understood once I got there.
When you walked into the door of any bathroom, hotels, barts, etc., there was a person sitting at a card table pulling squares off a roll and stacking them. You gave them a dollar and they gave you 2 squares. So one roll of tp was going for approximately $250 if you just figure 500 squares per roll.


7 posted on 09/22/2013 10:04:23 AM PDT by sheana
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To: lbryce

Socialism is a real wipe in the butt.


8 posted on 09/22/2013 10:10:33 AM PDT by pallis
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To: dirtboy

Well that’s the way it was in my dream anyway. ;)


9 posted on 09/22/2013 10:11:04 AM PDT by sheana
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To: lbryce

Classic. The Ruling Class must have toilet paper. The rest can use a belt sander. Which works, by the way. Or so I’ve heard.


10 posted on 09/22/2013 10:18:03 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: lbryce

In related news, Venezuela announces the impending opening of a brand new currency exchange ...


11 posted on 09/22/2013 10:19:30 AM PDT by IronJack (=)
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To: lbryce

I asked Atlas what happened to the spare toilet paper. Atlas shrugged.


12 posted on 09/22/2013 10:21:48 AM PDT by Flick Lives (We're going to be just like the old Soviet Union, but with free cell phones!)
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To: Billthedrill
Classic. The Ruling Class must have toilet paper. The rest can use a belt sander. Which works, by the way. Or so I’ve heard.

I'm thinking 80 grit wet-or-dry might be the way to go.

13 posted on 09/22/2013 10:23:18 AM PDT by Flick Lives (We're going to be just like the old Soviet Union, but with free cell phones!)
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To: lbryce
ah yes, the concentrated blessings of socialism in action... let them use their hand like the goathumpers do
14 posted on 09/22/2013 10:25:05 AM PDT by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -vvv- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: lbryce

MORE BRONDO


15 posted on 09/22/2013 10:31:37 AM PDT by Recompennation (Constitutional protection for all not just selectively for Democrats.)
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To: lbryce

If the gubmint took over the Sahara desert within seven years there would be an acute shortage of sand.


16 posted on 09/22/2013 10:34:01 AM PDT by szweig (HYHEY!! (Have You Had Enough Yet))
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To: cripplecreek; lbryce

>> “Nothin spells out a nation’s greatness like nationalized butt wipes.” <<

.
But do they have Ubamaphones?

How else can da boss call up his zombies?


17 posted on 09/22/2013 10:36:09 AM PDT by editor-surveyor (Freepers: Not as smart as I'd hoped they'd be)
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To: lbryce
Wow, Venezuelan government control of toilet paper? The country has now guaranteed shortages for years into the future. Government big shots will have their TP, but only for themselves. The “little people” will just have to do without. What fools these Chavez (now Maduro) supporters are.
18 posted on 09/22/2013 10:38:54 AM PDT by MasterGunner01
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To: lbryce

>> “the 100 Trillion Venezuelan Note with Hugo Chavez’s face wasted away by testicular cancer released in the aftermath of his timely death was already only equal to the value of one square patch of toilet paper and so the public is advised to secure their own supply.” <<

.
A bit harsh on the tender parts, no?


19 posted on 09/22/2013 10:39:45 AM PDT by editor-surveyor (Freepers: Not as smart as I'd hoped they'd be)
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To: lbryce

Doesn’t Venezuela translate into Land of Big Leafs?


20 posted on 09/22/2013 10:40:04 AM PDT by fella ("As it was before Noah, so shall it be again,")
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To: grobdriver

We are from the government and we are here to help you.


21 posted on 09/22/2013 10:41:20 AM PDT by VRW Conspirator (Producing Talk Show Prep since 1998.)
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To: cripplecreek

“Nothin spells out a nation’s greatness like nationalized butt wipes.”

If it’s like here, they could start with a government agency, NBS - National Butt Swipes. Then they could spend money later to change the name to NIST - National Institute of Sanitary Tissue.


22 posted on 09/22/2013 10:42:14 AM PDT by USMCPOP (Father of LCpl. Karl Linn, KIA 1/26/2005 Al Haqlaniyah, Iraq)
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To: VRW Conspirator
We are from the government and we are here to help you.

Of course, what that really means is:

We are from the government and we are here to help ourselves.

23 posted on 09/22/2013 10:45:09 AM PDT by ROCKLOBSTER (Hey RATS! Control your murdering FREAKS!)
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To: lbryce
Are you in competition for World's longest sentence?

But, to the TP shortage, I have one suggestion...


24 posted on 09/22/2013 10:53:48 AM PDT by WVKayaker ("The only place that the left hasn't placed the blame is on their agenda..." -Sarah Palin)
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To: lbryce

“The first sign that you have achieved Communism is when toilet paper becomes a luxury.”

Startlingly true.


25 posted on 09/22/2013 10:56:50 AM PDT by agere_contra (I once saw a movie where only the police and military had guns. It was called 'Schindler's List'.)
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To: agere_contra

It will become much less productive and efficient while under government control


26 posted on 09/22/2013 10:57:53 AM PDT by GeronL
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To: lbryce
Mr. Whipple photo: mr whipple mrwhipple.jpg Senor Whipple
27 posted on 09/22/2013 10:59:22 AM PDT by tumblindice (America's founding fathers: All armed conservatives.)
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To: grobdriver

everything they nationalized is now less productive and less efficient


28 posted on 09/22/2013 10:59:46 AM PDT by GeronL
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To: WVKayaker

You got me on that. I do have a problem with my run on sentences. The learning curve for pithy and succinct is graphed like a 179 degree angle.


29 posted on 09/22/2013 11:11:51 AM PDT by lbryce (Obama:The Worst Is Yet To Come)
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To: lbryce
I'm not a regular member of the grammar police. But, it's 2am here in the Philippines and I'm up watching the Nascar race of FoxSports. I was reading posts and that one glared enough to make me chuckle. I can't be too critical as I tend toward such verbosity too many times!

You may want to make a submission. I checked and you could win... your word count= 94 (word counter.net)

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest ... Where “WWW” means “Wretched Writers Welcome”


30 posted on 09/22/2013 11:41:40 AM PDT by WVKayaker ("The only place that the left hasn't placed the blame is on their agenda..." -Sarah Palin)
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To: WVKayaker

I wasn’t offended. It was a legitimate query asked in a good-humored, tongue-in-cheek way, more curious than anything else.Thanks for providing the lead to the contest. I’ll check it out out of curiosity but have no intention of entering into the competition.


31 posted on 09/22/2013 12:50:08 PM PDT by lbryce (Obama:The Worst Is Yet To Come)
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To: lbryce

The government toilet paper will be marketed under a new brand name, “John Wayne Toilet Paper”, because it will be rough, tough, and won’t take sh!t off anybody.


32 posted on 09/23/2013 3:04:30 PM PDT by TexasRepublic (Socialism is the gospel of envy and the religion of thieves)
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