Facing Shortages, Venezuela Takes Over Toilet Paper Factory

CNN ^ | September 21, 2013 | Marilia Brochetto and Greg Botelho

[lbryce]

When you're running low on toilet paper and getting desperate, what do you do?

If you're the Venezuelan government, you take over a toilet paper factory.

On Saturday, Vice President Jorge Arreaza announced the "temporary occupation" of the Paper Manufacturing Company's plant in the state of Aragua. The aim, he explained, is to review the "production, marketing and distribution (of) toilet paper."

[lbryce]

There's a little known economic study that has been given little credence despite the numerous examples of anecdotal corroboration, that countries who usurp private property, huge tracts of land to be parceled out to the needy, where greedy governments will take over domestic industries on nothing but an ideological whim, have suffered consequences of little understood vagaries of economic happenstance whereby the result is a run on toilet paper, a severe shortage of which the Socialist government in Caracas has already announced an elegant solution to the shortage, if the word could ever apply.

The Socialist government's announcement put an immediate stop to the crisis when it was announced that from now on the 100 Trillion Venezuelan Note with Hugo Chavez's face wasted away by testicular cancer released in the aftermath of his timely death was already only equal to the value of one square patch of toilet paper and so the public is advised to secure their own supply.

[grobdriver]

The aim, he explained, is to review the "production, marketing and distribution (of) toilet paper."

Because everyone knows that the government can do everything better.

[dirtboy]

It goes without saying that the shortages will get even worse now.

[cripplecreek]

Nothin spells out a nation’s greatness like nationalized butt wipes.

[Errant]

Send them 0, the flies love him!

[Navy Patriot]

"The ... People's Defense from the Economy will not allow hoarding or failures in the production and distribution of essential commodities," the vice president said.

Any employee with an ounce of brains, will put as much distance between himself and that factory as he can.

[sheana]

I have been to a communist country with toilet paper shortages. People on the plane were carrying large trash bags full of tp remnants....looked like maybe from a hotel when they changed out the tp. I understood once I got there.
When you walked into the door of any bathroom, hotels, barts, etc., there was a person sitting at a card table pulling squares off a roll and stacking them. You gave them a dollar and they gave you 2 squares. So one roll of tp was going for approximately $250 if you just figure 500 squares per roll.

[pallis]

Socialism is a real wipe in the butt.

[sheana]

Well that’s the way it was in my dream anyway. ;)

[Billthedrill]

Classic. The Ruling Class must have toilet paper. The rest can use a belt sander. Which works, by the way. Or so I’ve heard.

[IronJack]

In related news, Venezuela announces the impending opening of a brand new currency exchange ...

[Flick Lives]

I asked Atlas what happened to the spare toilet paper. Atlas shrugged.

[Flick Lives]

Classic. The Ruling Class must have toilet paper. The rest can use a belt sander. Which works, by the way. Or so I’ve heard.

I'm thinking 80 grit wet-or-dry might be the way to go.

[Chode]

ah yes, the concentrated blessings of socialism in action... let them use their hand like the goathumpers do

[Recompennation]

MORE BRONDO

[szweig]

If the gubmint took over the Sahara desert within seven years there would be an acute shortage of sand.

[editor-surveyor]

>> “Nothin spells out a nation’s greatness like nationalized butt wipes.” <<

.
But do they have Ubamaphones?

How else can da boss call up his zombies?

[MasterGunner01]

Wow, Venezuelan government control of toilet paper? The country has now guaranteed shortages for years into the future. Government big shots will have their TP, but only for themselves. The “little people” will just have to do without. What fools these Chavez (now Maduro) supporters are.

[editor-surveyor]

>> “the 100 Trillion Venezuelan Note with Hugo Chavez’s face wasted away by testicular cancer released in the aftermath of his timely death was already only equal to the value of one square patch of toilet paper and so the public is advised to secure their own supply.” <<

.
A bit harsh on the tender parts, no?

[fella]

Doesn’t Venezuela translate into Land of Big Leafs?