Skip to comments.The Stench of Honolulu: A Tropical Adventure by Jack Handey [More Lost in the 1950s]
Posted on 09/25/2013 8:32:47 AM PDT by Bender2
The Stench of Honolulu: A Tropical Adventure by Jack Handey
by Sebastien Theroux
Humorist Jack Handeys debut novel tells the delightfully absurd tale of two mens quest to find the Holy Grail of fictional wealth: a Golden Monkey supposedly worth a lot. Our not-so-humble narrator (a sociopathic ignoramus) and his friend Don navigate a world of pirates, blow darts, banana peels and treasure maps of dubious origin.
(Excerpt) Read more at pastemagazine.com ...
They were this... and that...
Gadzooks, I had to take the bait... and what follows [If blame is to be given--] is mostly BeadCounter's fault which we shall discuss later fully and completely after I get all these rags back in my Fibber McGee Closet!
Gadzooks! That's a lot... of my child and manhood there--
So don't ask me again why... I drink so much!
You have lost your mind.........film at eleven.............
lol crazy man in the paperback book aisle!
That is an outstanding collection. As a kid in the 1950’s I was warned not to even touch magazines on the rack with names such as True, Argosy, or Stag, never mind Playboy.
So I read them all at a friend’s house. My favorite villain from the WWII era was an evil Eurasian named “Heinrich Yamamoto”.
It's a safe bet that it is not Alibi.
Dang, now I really want to read about the two strippers who stalled Rommel’s desert campaign! These fascinating bits of WWII history, still surfacing after all this time. ;-)
You win the Consolation Prize for smoking out... the one cover that was not for REAL MEN--
If you are a hot female... you get an all expense paid week at my house!
If you are a man... you get two week--
Hey, watch it... I just need someone to finish digging out the second swimming pool.
I remember seeing those magazines in lots of magazine stores and drug stores. I even sneaked a peek when Mom wasn’t looking!
They always promised more on the cover than they gave, and the tales were fabricated.
They died out in the 1970s as more overt porn became normal, and one book I have says too many HOMO magazines grabbed the male names and destroyed the readership of these magazines.
I lament my favorite one. TRUE Magazine was great to read and safe for kids to find. In the 1970s it was sold to some new publisher who promptly turned it into a sleazy porno mag, and it died the death.
Love the covers. The one from “Alibi” really cracked me up. I guess I didn’t realize that back then there were men’s magazines for men that really liked men. Good grief - if the Fire Island article didn’t tip anyone off, the Truck Stop Tearoom and the Liberace stories certainly would. I did a little research but couldn’t find anything else about the publication, but you could make a fortune if you had a bunch of them.
Oh sorry...moved on to mags....ummmm all of them. :-)
Hey, Red, I got your film at eleven... right here!
And I do, too, Red! More Moo... at eleven!
Hey, Red, Real Men, Git... Her Done!
Hey, the new issue of... "REAL WOLF" is in!
Please-- I want to go home... and off this thread!
This thread needs more cowbell!..............
Some really interesting cover art.
Close... but no... cigar!
However, since your mind is still on the album covers... these are for you:
A REAL MAN... sings--
REAL MEN laugh... in the face of true danger--
REAL MEN can bond... with their wards--
REAL MEN really want to know????
I hope it ain’t the “Manhood” covers. Those are VERY gay.
Your favourite, Bendie? Why, that’s easy - the one with a story by none other than Norman Mailer, your uber-literate devil!
Cowbell, Red? Did... you say "Cowbell?"
You say you know... Cowbell?
Whoa! I... got your Cowbell right here!
And, do I need to remind you, Red, Chris... knows Cowbell--
We lost to the white eyes... when they took all the Cowbell for themselves.
When my people did not have Cowbell... they rioted!
Ohhhhhhhhhhh! A 'No Cowbell Riot' is an ungly thing... undt, I tink, that it is chust about time ve had vun.
Well, Red, that's one... for your side--
Really, cat? Norman couldn't hold his liquor or... play poker worth a damn--
AND Mailer was a wuss! He had six wives... and couldn't satisfy any of them!
I satisfied all six... twice!
And, when you read the above "I rode the Death Car" story, you will find I did... while Mailer tried to calm the crowd--
Don't believe me ask Otter... he was with me and Boon.
Really, field? Just because a man has... a tommygun--
AND a beautiful... body--
You think he is not... a REAL MAN!
Every man here in Hooterville... backs Bender, field, so he must to be right.
The buck stopped here .... for 4 issues at a time.
Thanks bender, when I was a kid there were always stacks
of these in the barber shop.
My mom wondered why I wanted to get my hair cut all the time.
That’s some collection!
Yep, and so damn heavy... that I had to go in for a pick me up lube and oil change!
Interesting. So there was one without the ‘How to Jilt a Woman’ articles?
Wow! I remember the old magazine and comics racks-what a bounty! Back when a hack writer could make a living. Now, all the kids and wanna-be kids have are micro-chip art and effects-nothing near real entertainment.
But then again, he's pulling down megabucks... playing Seth Green's no-account father on that Fox sitcom "Dads."
Boon always a lucky sumbitch... wasn't he?
Your favorite TV show?
Gadzooks! All they are interest in is the bottom line of a blockbuster that proves their junk is bigger than that of anyone else in the convent. And if that means letting some super star or hot director make a piece of steamy manure film or TV series that is dear to their heart in order to get the star/director to do their projected blockbuster, they do it with a smile on their lips even if mean wasting money that could make decent entertainment.
Back in the days of the Studio System, the men who ran Hollywood were unmitigated sons-a-bitches without any shred of doubt, but they wanted to make films that entertained and made a profit.
Nowadays, it is all about megaprofit from blockbusters made from sure things like old films, old TV series or whatnot that once made people watch.
Creativity and originality and even talent don't mean squat in La-La Land. That's why I gave up butting my ever so sore head against the wall out there. Here on Free Republic, I can do as I wish and make my friends and followers laugh or see the point in my zaniness.
I won't make that zillion dollars being a movie star or THE Director or even get the girl in the end, but then again, I don't have to play the game anymore. I am my own man.
Now, that a story any Man's Magazine would kill for, right? Well, I'm buying... drink up, we got beat the dawn and its gaining on us!
"Exclusive: Universal Pictures and Imagine Entertainments Brian Grazer have closed a deal with the John Steinbeck estate for a new version of his seminal novel East Of Eden that will be developed as a re-team for The Hunger Games director Gary Ross and Jennifer Lawrence. Im told that the book is Ross favorite American novel and that the director plans to tell the generational story in two films. The novel previously was adapted into one picture, the 1955 Eliza Kazan-directed film that starred James Dean and Richard Davalos as sons who compete for the attention of their farmer father in Salinas, CA."
Gadzooks! This just proves what I said above is right--- East of Eden wasn't a big hit even with James Dean in it!
Hey, I'm published!
Pretty fly for the dead guy.
we got beat the dawn and its gaining on us!
Burning daylight, Bender, Burning Daylight!
That one’s a fake.
Clearly - did you notice who it’s addressed to?