Venezuela Nationalizes Toilet Paper Factory to Cope with Toilet Paper Shortage

frontpagemag.com ^ | September 24, 2013 | Daniel Greenfield

[from occupied ga]

WWII Joke - How to wipe you backside on one normal sheet of paper:

1. fold sheet in quarters. IE fold in half and then half again
2. Tear out small round section in the corner of the folded sheet that corresponds to the center of the sheet - Make the hole about the right size for your forfinger
3. Save the torn out piece, but do NOT unfold it (This is important)
4. Stick your finger through the hole in the center of the main sheet and use aforementioned finger to wipe your butt
5. Use the corner of the little piece you saved to clean out under your fingernail

ONE AND DONE - BUSINESS AS USUAL

[Freelance Warrior]

What are they using instead?

Newspapers with their 'dear leaders'' speeches.

[ltc8k6]

“Venezuela Nationalizes Toilet Paper Factory to Cope with Toilet Paper Shortage”

That trick never works.

[GilesB]

Of course, their actions have nothing to do with efficiency, production, necessary commodities or economics. Their policy can be described thus: More power over more people and more things.

[Chode]

ahhh yes, the concentrated blessings of socialism at work yet again...

[MasterGunner01]

Attention Cheryl Crowe, a toilet paper czar is needed by the Venezuelan government. Since your career has pretty well tanked, here's a way to jump start it by leading from the front. And, while you're trying to solve the TP shortage in Venezuela, make sure you stuff your private jet with enough to survive in the land of TP shortages.

[lurk]

Betcha the black market sellers of TP are wiping it up.

[Jabba the Nutt]

If I had the money, I’d start smuggling TP into Venezuela.

[Calvin Locke]

...Sheryl Crowe...

Don't forget her BFF Laurie David. Haven't seen her mentioned in the news in quite a while. Ever since her [alleged] trysts with her MV pool boy...or was it a contractor? Or Algor?

Let'em all head to Venezula to show each citizen how to do it with one sheet on a one-to-one basis. At least each household.

That should keep them out of the country for a long while.

[spawn44]

Their hands. That’s what people hoodwinked into SOCIALISM do that don’t want to stand in line.

[Hardraade]

The National Toilet Paper.

Sounds like the US press.

[blueunicorn6]

The Venezuelan National Guard is attacking the Venezuelan toilet paper factory?

“Colonel!”

“Yes, what is it Sergeant?”

“The toilet paper bandits are pelting us with sanitary napkins!”

“Damn them! What kind of animals fight like this? Bring up the Kleenex battalion!”

[fungoking]

The real problem with TP in Venezuela is that they don't flush it; 3rd world sewer system can't process it. There is a trashcan by every toilet to put the used paper. flush the paper and the “creek” behind your hotel will be full of white streamers the next day.

[Dr. Thorne]

We could send them about 100 printed copies of the Unaffordable Care Act aka Obamacancer. That should provide enough paper to cover the whole country.

[GeronL]

yuck

As with everything else that they nationalize, production will drop

[ridesthemiles]

What else will Bammy do here???

[X-spurt]

They have big friends from Iran, they could use left hand and a water hose like mooselimbs around the world do.

[X-spurt]

Give this guy a cupie doll! Its a dead ringer.

[X-spurt]

Somebody call a moderator!!!!

[GeronL]

The government has total control of the airwaves now, but there are a couple of pesky newspapers they will be moving against soon enough.