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NFL LIVE THREAD Week 9
ESPN ^

Posted on 10/31/2013 6:46:56 AM PDT by Bender2

Thu Oct 31
Cincinnati Bengals @ Miami Dolphins
Sun Nov 3
Atlanta Falcons @ Carolina Panthers
Kansas City Chiefs @ Buffalo Bills
Minnesota Vikings @ Dallas Cowboys
New Orleans Saints @ New York Jets
San Diego Chargers @ Washington Redskins
Tennessee Titans @ St. Louis Rams
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Seattle Seahawks
Philadelphia Eagles @ Oakland Raiders
Baltimore Ravens @ Cleveland Browns
Pittsburgh Steelers @ New England Patriots
Indianapolis Colts @ Houston Texans
Mon Nov 4
Chicago Bears @ Green Bay Packers

Bye: Arizona, Denver, Detroit, Jacksonville, N.Y. Giants, San Francisco

(Excerpt) Read more at sports-ak.espn.go.com ...


TOPICS: Extended News; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: football; nfl
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Uhhhhh-- Before we get into Week 9's picks... some real old news and some real new news--

Y'all rememeber last October when I went over to Merry Ole England... and watched big's Pattycakes crush the Rams 45-7 at Wembley Stadium?

I went pub sluming after the game and met this lovely young brunette... named Kate--

Well, yadda yadda yadda... nature took its course.

And I swear I had no idea at all until they release the Royal Family portrait... a day or so ago.

Yet I have to say, the Royal heir could not... look more handsome!

Okay, now to the picks for Week Nine of this NFL Season:

Thursday Night Feetball finds the TCU North Bengals having a fish fry

Sundays games finds my Old Dallas Texans and my new hero, Big Chief Andy... having a very happy Buffalo hunt

Allegra's Old Earlers will be stapled, folded and Bradfordsized in Saint Louee

There will be nothing Saintly about them Jersey Jets doing touch'n no goes in N'awleens

Them Diego Bolts skin them fellers from DC

Vick's Old Black Byrds get mauled by Camshaft's Panthers

Okay, Seven, I'm picking your Waiders to crush the Iggles, so don't let me down!

Gadzooks, I want the Seahags to lose but they won't at Have a Tampa Bay

The New Brownstains will sneak up and steal one away from the Old Brownstains

As much as I hate to pick them, big's Pattycakes will crap all over the Stoolers

Please, Allegra, don't hurt me but I have to pick them Lucky Colts over your Texicans

Monday Night Feetball has Da Toothless Bears finding they cannot cut the cheese at Lamboo

Okay, if my boys don't win Sunday... I'll eat a Viqueen hat, horns and all!

And all those teams you knew were gay or bye are Arizona, Denver, Detroit, Jacksonville, N.Y. Giants, San Francisco

1 posted on 10/31/2013 6:46:56 AM PDT by Bender2
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To: big'ol_freeper; shove_it; TrueKnightGalahad; Larry Lucido; Diplomat; RockinRight; Army Air Corps; ..
Okay, get your picks in... before I throw 'em in the creek!

Thanks, Ma! And now for those of you... who cannot read:


2 posted on 10/31/2013 6:47:36 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Hoodat
Some old business about Last week's Hootdat post: I don't expect my beloved Redskins to win on the road v. Denver. But anytime Dallas loses, my heart grows warmer.

Ya know, Hootdat, I can understand... that sentiment.

Because at any time the Deadskins lose... my thoracic cavity pump warms up, too--

While I think it is utterly silly to hound you D.C. guys... about your team nickname being politically incorrect-- I am the among the first to offer up alternatives... 'cause it is the nature of my programming--

My Lone Star upbringing preaches it ain't bragging if you do it and even extends to cheering on teams that left Texas... and looking most fondly upon a coach I hated with white hot intensity for 13 years.

So, when I run across this... "According to ESPN Stats & Information, Griffin failed on all seven pass attempts of 15 yards or more. He was pressured or sacked on 42 percent of his dropbacks, the highest percentage of his career. Makes life tough under those circumstances, but Griffin needs to help himself, too, and defeat the rap that he struggles when he can't hit his primary target. "

My first inclination is to get my hankles up... as he is talking about a first rate player from Baylor, a Good Texas Baptist School just 50 miles down the pike from me and currently undefeated, ranked #6--

Then I come back to reality, RG3 now plays... for them galldurn, godless Deadskins!

Besides, he was born in Okinawa, Japan, so he's not [giggle, giggle] even... a Native Texan at all.

We all find our fellow countryman... LalGTree kinda cute.

Gadzooks, you can bring them gals to sweet creek water and Lone Star Beer, but you cannot make them think... like a Texan, can ya?

BTW at http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/nfl/news/20131030/nfl-power-rankings-week-8-kansas-city-chiefs/?xid=nl_siextra I found this:

And I think it is pretty... darn funny!

But don't tell Jerry... I said that--

In closing, Hoodat, I do have some t-shirts for sale... that might interest you.

Really, Bender! Don't be a wussy-- Get some t-shirts to sell that have some class... and style--

3 posted on 10/31/2013 6:51:08 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Bender2

Chiefs by 13


4 posted on 10/31/2013 6:51:35 AM PDT by CARTOUCHE (I will not comply !!!!)
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To: Bender2

I think the Ravens-Browns match is more even than what the talking heads show.


5 posted on 10/31/2013 6:59:42 AM PDT by RedMDer (http://www.dontfundobamacare.com/)
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To: Bender2

GO SEAHAWKS!!!

Seahawks 27 - Tampa Bay 10

I’ll be at the game cheering them on :-)


6 posted on 10/31/2013 7:00:55 AM PDT by Seattle Conservative (God Bless and protect our troops)
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To: CARTOUCHE

I’m trying to decide which is the more amazing, my Red Sawx going from worst to first, or the Chief’s 8-0 ( and increasing) record this year.


7 posted on 10/31/2013 7:03:15 AM PDT by ken5050 (Benghazi investigation update: "The plot thickens, like Hillary Clinton's ankles.." (longfellow")
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To: Bender2

Steelers go down in flames....massive loss. Tomlin flees city dressed as a Woman


8 posted on 10/31/2013 7:07:24 AM PDT by Yorlik803 ( Church/Caboose in 2016)
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To: Bender2

I still have that 1995 season fresh on my mind. Sure, the Cowgirls won the Super Bowl that year. But they lost to the Redskins twice. Times were good back then.


9 posted on 10/31/2013 7:08:59 AM PDT by Hoodat (BENGHAZI - 4 KILLED, 2 MIA)
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To: Bender2

Chargers 41, Redskins 17


10 posted on 10/31/2013 7:09:08 AM PDT by PreciousLiberty
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To: Bender2
What a night after my Red Sox spanked them Redbirds. But here goes...

The Bungles over the Tunas
The Punters over the Dirty Birds
The Cowgirls over the Vicequeens
The Halos over the Cessnas
The Oilers over the Lambs
The Strams over the Beefaloes
The _________ over the Bolts
The Eyepatches over the Beagles
The Seapigeons over the Pirates
The Brownstains over the Purple Birds
The Patriots over the Stools
The Folds over the Texians
und
The Packers over the Cubs

Now I'm going to pass out...again

11 posted on 10/31/2013 7:10:12 AM PDT by big'ol_freeper ("Evil is powerless if the good are unafraid" ~ Ronald Wilson Reagan)
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To: CARTOUCHE; Bender2
Since I live in Los Angeles, I happily bandwagon whomever I want to. Hail Andy Reid and those dirty, nasty Injun nicknamed big fellows from Kansas City - GO CHIEFS!!!

Now bring the burgundy and gold team from Obamaville to Southern California already - we love Native Americans here - unlike some people . . .

12 posted on 10/31/2013 7:11:35 AM PDT by atc23 (The Confederacy was the single greatest conservative resistance to federal authority ever.)
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To: Hoodat
Re: I still have that 1995 season fresh on my mind. Sure, the Cowgirls won the Super Bowl that year. But they lost to the Redskins twice. Times were good back then.

Gadzooks, Hoot! Of course I'd... settle for that--

Bender! Grow a pair! Beat the Foreskins twice... and win the Super Bowl this year!

Hate to say it, but Duckman... has a point.

Greed is good, Bendy... but get real! Your Boy's defense couldn't hold in a herd of lambs--

I don't like the way... this post is going.

Then get a ax... and start chopping off the deadwood!


13 posted on 10/31/2013 7:25:12 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Yorlik803
Re: Steelers go down in flames....massive loss. Tomlin flees city dressed as a Woman

Don't knock it, it works... got me out of a bad love affair and one marriage!

14 posted on 10/31/2013 8:01:58 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Bender2
Bengals

Chiefs

Cowboys

Titans

Saints

Chargers

Falcons

Raiders

Seahawks

Browns

Patriots

Colts

Packers

15 posted on 10/31/2013 8:50:15 AM PDT by darkangel82
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To: Bender2

PC correction:

I’m sure you meant to report San Diego Chargers vs. Washington REDS.


16 posted on 10/31/2013 9:45:04 AM PDT by A'elian' nation ("Political Correctness does not legislate tolerance; it only organizes hatred." Jacques Barzun)
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To: Bender2

Allegra’s Old Earlers will be stapled, folded and Bradfordsized in Saint Louee


The Earlers might be stapled and folded, but they won’t be Bradfordsized. Sam will undergo ACL surgery Tuesday and is out for the season.


17 posted on 10/31/2013 10:03:48 AM PDT by rwa265 (Compete well for the faith, lay hold of eternal life (1 Timothy 6))
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To: rwa265
Re; The Earlers might be stapled and folded, but they won’t be Bradfordsized. Sam will undergo ACL surgery Tuesday and is out for the season.

Would you believe... that means all Allegra's Old Earlers would undergo ACL surgery???

Bender! Even I find that... hard to swallow!

18 posted on 10/31/2013 11:19:03 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Bender2

I don’t see why you say Bye Detroit, San Francisco, both teams are still in the running but I’ll submit my picks just for fun this time. Don’t think there is an ongoing contest.

Thu Oct 31
Cincinnati Bengals

Sun Nov 3
Carolina Panthers
Buffalo Bills (I’ll go for the upset)
Dallas Cowboys (Ponder I hope plays, born in Big D, Jared Allen as well, I believe)
New Orleans Saints
San Diego Chargers
St. Louis Rams
Seattle Seahawks (laugher, really needs a spread,nothing against the Bucs.)
Oakland Raiders
Cleveland Browns
New England Patriots
Indianapolis Colts
Mon Nov 4
Green Bay Packers


19 posted on 10/31/2013 11:57:53 AM PDT by BeadCounter
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To: BeadCounter; big'ol_freeper; shove_it; TrueKnightGalahad; Larry Lucido; Diplomat; RockinRight; ...
Re: I don’t see why you say Bye Detroit, San Francisco..

Gadzooks, Bead! If you have to explain deviant sexual behavior and beastality... it takes all the fun out of it!

20 posted on 10/31/2013 12:04:43 PM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Bender2

Be honesttt here Bender

MY Raiders suck LOL!

Maybe they prove me wronggg LOL!


21 posted on 10/31/2013 12:48:45 PM PDT by SevenofNine (We are Freepers, all your media bases belong to us ,resistance is futile)
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To: Bender2

Bender you are the FATHERRRR LOL!

Boy the queen won’t be amused if I know her LOL!

Maybe this time Royals won’t have defective bleeding diseases like Last Tsarich of Russia Alexi


22 posted on 10/31/2013 12:50:01 PM PDT by SevenofNine (We are Freepers, all your media bases belong to us ,resistance is futile)
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To: SevenofNine
Gadzooks, Seven, you are the only one who noticed, so you get your choice: A cigar or... an ice cold marttini
23 posted on 10/31/2013 1:07:27 PM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Bender2

Bender I hope this might be good for Royals

Everybody know they are bunch of inbreds


24 posted on 10/31/2013 2:05:39 PM PDT by SevenofNine (We are Freepers, all your media bases belong to us ,resistance is futile)
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To: Bender2

Because Obama is such a huge fan of da Bears.... http://youtu.be/QTu-mUFKb6s


25 posted on 10/31/2013 2:24:10 PM PDT by Howie66 (Molon Labe, Traitors!)
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To: Bender2; campaignPete R-CT; darkangel82

The Bengals are on the come, they will win tonight.


26 posted on 10/31/2013 5:09:11 PM PDT by Impy (RED=COMMUNIST, NOT REPUBLICAN)
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To: Howie66; Allegra; big'ol_freeper; Lil'freeper; shove_it; TrueKnightGalahad; Cincinatus' Wife; ...
Re: Because Obama is such a huge fan of da Bears.... http://youtu.be/QTu-mUFKb6s

Gadzooks, Howie!!! I have to see The Obamanation on every TV channel all the friggin' time when I turn on the set... why would I want to see the SOB on youtube--

Best read up on the fine print in Obamacare, you are required to see me... or Michelle at least 8 hours a day or the IRS will make you pay and pay.

That's why I have been saying for years, if you see me or Michelle more than 8 hours a day, each and every day... you won't have to change your viewing plan, period!

27 posted on 10/31/2013 6:04:12 PM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Bender2

Bender honey I doubt Obama could name one famous Chicago Bear or Cubs players

Seriously Mr President you can’t name one player

I am Raider fan I could name few former Cub or Bear players HELLO


28 posted on 10/31/2013 7:05:26 PM PDT by SevenofNine (We are Freepers, all your media bases belong to us ,resistance is futile)
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To: Impy

We will see. Good game so far


29 posted on 10/31/2013 7:56:56 PM PDT by darkangel82
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To: All

Momentum has shifted back to the Bengals but we will see, good close game. Crowd sure seems silent now, they should be turning it up or maybe we just don’t hear them.


30 posted on 10/31/2013 8:00:05 PM PDT by BeadCounter
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To: BeadCounter

Congrats Dolphins, they almost got that Safety earlier, surprised Dalton was not looking out for that more.


31 posted on 10/31/2013 8:54:58 PM PDT by BeadCounter
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To: darkangel82; campaignPete R-CT; GOPsterinMA; Bender2

SAFETY IN OT!!!!!! Made my pick wrong but I love it!

Andy Dalton is a ginger g***.


32 posted on 10/31/2013 8:56:11 PM PDT by Impy (RED=COMMUNIST, NOT REPUBLICAN)
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To: BeadCounter; Impy

BOOM! Cameron Wake shows why I vote for him for the Pro Bowl every year.


33 posted on 10/31/2013 8:56:42 PM PDT by darkangel82
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To: Impy

I wanted Miami but picked Cinci cause, you know, 6-2 over 3-5. This one was a treat.


34 posted on 10/31/2013 8:57:41 PM PDT by darkangel82
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To: Impy; darkangel82; dfwgator; Bender2

What an ending; can’t say I’ve seen that before.

g***: the new irma?


35 posted on 10/31/2013 8:59:35 PM PDT by GOPsterinMA (You're a very weird person, Yossarian.)
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To: GOPsterinMA

Only when dealing with gingers.


36 posted on 10/31/2013 9:00:44 PM PDT by Impy (RED=COMMUNIST, NOT REPUBLICAN)
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To: GOPsterinMA; Impy

Funny thing is, when they were down by the 8-yard line I predicted that would happen.


37 posted on 10/31/2013 9:01:27 PM PDT by darkangel82
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To: darkangel82; GOPsterinMA

I was afraid a tie was coming, blech.


38 posted on 10/31/2013 9:07:28 PM PDT by Impy (RED=COMMUNIST, NOT REPUBLICAN)
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To: Impy

Ok then!


39 posted on 10/31/2013 9:11:11 PM PDT by GOPsterinMA (You're a very weird person, Yossarian.)
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To: darkangel82; Impy

Good move.


40 posted on 10/31/2013 9:16:14 PM PDT by GOPsterinMA (You're a very weird person, Yossarian.)
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To: All

Cam (Derek) Wake is a beast. I remember him sacking the Purdue punter twice in one game. Put him down before he could get a punt off (no bobbled snap or anything). The NFL just missed on him. Thankfully he had the work ethic to see it through and find a spot where he can shine. Former PSU linebackers certainly shining in the NFL this year. Poz in Jax. Bowman in SF. Lee in Dallas. Wake in Miami. They call it Linebacker U for a reason.


41 posted on 10/31/2013 9:37:48 PM PDT by FlJoePa ("Success without honor is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger, but it won't taste good")
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To: Bender2

I know! Sucks, right? lol


42 posted on 11/01/2013 5:08:00 AM PDT by Howie66 (Molon Labe, Traitors!)
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To: Bender2
D'oh!! 0-1 already.
43 posted on 11/01/2013 5:24:48 AM PDT by big'ol_freeper ("Evil is powerless if the good are unafraid" ~ Ronald Wilson Reagan)
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To: big'ol_freeper
Re: D'oh!! 0-1... already.

So am I, big, so have beer... and calm down--

44 posted on 11/01/2013 5:47:52 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Bender2
Ok..
45 posted on 11/01/2013 5:51:08 AM PDT by big'ol_freeper ("Evil is powerless if the good are unafraid" ~ Ronald Wilson Reagan)
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To: big'ol_freeper
Re: OK...

Just look at that greedy SOB... drinking up all the barreled beer!

And if that isn't bad enough, his rusty bastard buddy... is drinking up all the... kegged beeris drinking up

How long will you people... put up with all this?

Only... as long--

As the basement... is full--

And the cooler... is well stocked.

Well, that... seems fair enough--

46 posted on 11/01/2013 6:24:02 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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85-35 for the season thru week 8 (10-3 last week)

Week 9 winners:
CINCY
CAR
DAL
N.O.
STL
BUFF
WASH
OAK
SEA
CLEVE
PATS
INDY
GB


47 posted on 11/02/2013 8:49:54 AM PDT by campaignPete R-CT (WWLD? What would LaRussa do?)
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guaranteed winner: DALLAS COWBOYS
(each team can only be used once per season, PITT, NE, MINN, INDY, STL, KC, ATL, SF used, 6-2)

guaranteed loser: CHICAGO BEARS
(each team can only be used once per season, OAK, STL, INDY, PHIL, NYJ, TN, CLE, BUFF used, 6-2)


48 posted on 11/02/2013 8:55:58 AM PDT by campaignPete R-CT (WWLD? What would LaRussa do?)
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To: Bender2; campaignPete R-CT; darkangel82

My picks

CIN (X)
KC
DAL
TEN
NOLA
SD
ATL
OAK
SEA
BAL
NE
IND
GB


49 posted on 11/03/2013 7:32:00 AM PST by Impy (RED=COMMUNIST, NOT REPUBLICAN)
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To: Impy; big'ol_freeper; shove_it; TrueKnightGalahad; Larry Lucido; Diplomat; RockinRight; ...
Okay, will be out of pocket and off the grid today, so you kids... play nice, now!
50 posted on 11/03/2013 8:02:03 AM PST by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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