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Massachusetts mall Santa Claus charged with groping an 18-year-old woman playing his elf
Fox News ^

Posted on 11/26/2013 4:13:20 AM PST by Perdogg

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To: GOPsterinMA; Berosus

Was that a candy cane in his pocket or...


41 posted on 11/27/2013 7:19:09 PM PST by SunkenCiv (http://www.freerepublic.com/~mestamachine/)
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To: SunkenCiv; Berosus

I vote “or”.


42 posted on 11/27/2013 7:22:37 PM PST by GOPsterinMA (You're a very weird person, Yossarian.)
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To: SunkenCiv; GOPsterinMA; Impy; sickoflibs; Perdogg; fieldmarshaldj

“...Isle of Misfit Toys...”

I know that place... Brrr... Was stationed there for several years, with the 107th, after putting down the “Great Hasbro Uprising of ‘63”...

Those were bad days... I’d rather forget them. Lost a LOT of good toys there... I don’t want to tell you what happened on the Barbie and Ken section of the island... I can’t relive that... it was a debacle. I can STILL see those damned candy canes shoved up the - no... not that. I can’t...

I still have the scars from the Automatic Hot Wheels Launcher that was on the roof...it was sighted in on us, and those little Elf bastards just wouldn’t give it up. You’d think green and red outfits would stand out in the snow, but it was a blizzard. They timed it perfectly...

And yes...I blame the Fat Guy in the Red Suit for cutting back on defense spending and depleting the forces... those Elves ran AMOK for months... one minute, happy, peaceful little bastards making toys; the next... They were ALL OVER us with those beady little eyes and tiny hands and gnashing teeth... they caught us completely by surprise..

I never knew pissed-off pointy-eared midgets could wreak so much havoc. We spent months tracking them all down.

But to think MRS. CLAUS was behind it all... “Comrade Clausinski” they called her... the cruelest blow of all.


43 posted on 11/28/2013 9:33:40 AM PST by NFHale (The Second Amendment - By Any Means Necessary.)
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To: NFHale

:’D


44 posted on 11/28/2013 5:12:15 PM PST by SunkenCiv (http://www.freerepublic.com/~mestamachine/)
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To: NFHale; SunkenCiv; Impy; sickoflibs; Perdogg; fieldmarshaldj

OFFENSIVE!!!

Minorities do not appear to be represented in your tale.

OFFENSIVE!!!

Elves are no longer to be referred to as “Elves”, but as “Native Middle-Earth Inhabitants”.


45 posted on 11/29/2013 4:49:44 AM PST by GOPsterinMA (You're a very weird person, Yossarian.)
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To: GOPsterinMA

And when an elf says she’s got one in the oven, she means a baking tin of cookies.


46 posted on 11/29/2013 6:46:06 AM PST by SunkenCiv (http://www.freerepublic.com/~mestamachine/)
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To: SunkenCiv

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


47 posted on 11/29/2013 7:22:00 AM PST by GOPsterinMA (You're a very weird person, Yossarian.)
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To: GOPsterinMA; SunkenCiv; Impy; sickoflibs; Perdogg; fieldmarshaldj

I refer to them as demented little gnome-f*ckers...


48 posted on 11/29/2013 1:11:21 PM PST by NFHale (The Second Amendment - By Any Means Necessary.)
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To: NFHale; SunkenCiv; Impy; sickoflibs; Perdogg; fieldmarshaldj

You bad...


49 posted on 11/29/2013 3:11:52 PM PST by GOPsterinMA (You're a very weird person, Yossarian.)
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To: GOPsterinMA; NFHale; SunkenCiv
Not a racist statement but the dark elves are trouble, fact.


50 posted on 11/30/2013 12:56:52 AM PST by Impy (RED=COMMUNIST, NOT REPUBLICAN)
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To: Impy; NFHale; SunkenCiv

Now that’s funny!!!


51 posted on 11/30/2013 6:38:38 AM PST by GOPsterinMA (You're a very weird person, Yossarian.)
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To: Impy

Haha!! Good one!


52 posted on 11/30/2013 7:05:05 AM PST by NFHale (The Second Amendment - By Any Means Necessary.)
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To: Perdogg

Public school teacher?


53 posted on 11/30/2013 7:08:25 AM PST by A CA Guy ( God Bless America, God Bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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