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The Affordable Camping Act [Vanity]
Self | Nov. 30, 2013 | Self

Posted on 11/30/2013 6:21:39 AM PST by trueamerica

Since camping with a tent is uncomfortable, the federal government has decided to make camping with a tent illegal, effective January 1, 2014. Everyone must upgrade to a camping plan approved by the federal government. This camping plan is also known as the “RV Plan” since an RV will be required.

Even if you have never gone camping, or never plan to go camping, you will have to purchase an RV on the government website. You will have to pay full retail price for the RV, except if you are poor, or a member of congress, or work for a member of congress. Then you will get a 70% discount off the retail price.

If you refuse to purchase an RV, you will have to pay a penalty (sorry “tax”). Camp sites will hire 16000 federal agents to make sure no tents are used on camp sites. Navigators will be hired to help people pick the right RV plan.

You will be happy to know that in the near future, the federal government will start to work on the “Affordable Car Act” and many other “Affordable (fill in the blank) Acts”. Eventually you will not have to make any decisions for yourself, since decision making is difficult. It will all be handled for you by government experts.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: affordablecareact; obamacare

1 posted on 11/30/2013 6:21:39 AM PST by trueamerica
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To: trueamerica

Sort of the same...the Affordable Flowers Act:

FLOWERS ANYONE???

(Receptionist) Hello, Welcome to ObamaFlowers, My name is Trina. How can I help you?

(Customer) Hello, I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.

(Receptionist) Yes, I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of November. But I can help you.

(Customer) Thanks, I ordered a “Spring Bouquet” for our anniversary, and wanted it delivered to my wife.

(Receptionist Interrupting) Sir, “Spring Bouquets” do not meet our minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses.

(Customer) But I have always ordered “Spring Bouquets”, done it for years, my wife likes them.

(Receptionist) Roses are better, sir, I am sure your wife will love them.

(Customer) Well, how much are they?

(Receptionist) It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package.

(Customer) What’s the difference?

(Receptionist) 6, 12,18 or 24 Red Roses.

(Customer) The Silver package may be okay, how much is it?

(Receptionist) It depends sir, what is you monthly income?

(Customer) What does that have to do with anything?

(Receptionist) I need that to determine your government flower subsidy, then I can determine how much your out of pocket cost will be. But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our FlowerAid department.

(Customer) FlowerAid?

(Receptionist) Yes, Flowers are a Right, everyone has a right to flowers. So, if you can’t afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge.

(Customer) Who said they were a Right?

(Receptionist) Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it Constitutional.

(Customer) Whoa.....I don’t remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding Flowers as a Right.

(Receptionist) It is not really a Right in the Constitution, but ObamaFlowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court Ruled it a “Tax”. Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a Right.

(Customer) I don’t believe this...

(Receptionist) It’s the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is you monthly income sir?

(Customer) Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year.

(Receptionist) In that case sir, I will still need your monthly income.

(Customer) Why?

(Receptionist) To determine what your ‘non-participation’ cost would be.

(Customer) WHAT? Your can’t charge me for NOT buying flowers!

(Receptionist) It’s the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It’s $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income.....

(Customer)interrupting) This is ridiculous, I’ll pay the $9.50..

(Receptionist) Sir, it is the $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.

(Customer) ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a rip-off!!

(Receptionist) Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.

(Customer) Look, I’m going to call my Congressman to find out what’s going on here. This is ridiculous. I’m not going to pay it.

(Receptionist) Sorry to hear that sir, that’s why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone your are using.

(Customer) Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING?

(Receptionist) So they get your GPS coordinates sir

(Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door)

(Receptionist) That would be the IRS sir. Thanks for calling ObamaFlowers, have a nice day...and God Bless America.


2 posted on 11/30/2013 6:23:32 AM PST by gorush (History repeats itself because human nature is static)
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To: trueamerica

Excellent analogy.


3 posted on 11/30/2013 6:24:05 AM PST by Oratam
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To: trueamerica

Wait for the Affordable Crap Act. Most if not all used toilet paper is reusable.


4 posted on 11/30/2013 6:27:17 AM PST by bigheadfred
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To: Oratam

Except the last line. They would have said “Allah bless America”.


5 posted on 11/30/2013 6:29:25 AM PST by jsanders2001
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To: trueamerica

As one who travels extensively in my home made RV, I can testify that there is a great crisis coming in RV travel. If you look at the large RV dealerships that are on the outskirts of just about all large cities you see thousands and thousands of the things.

The Boomers are about to hit the roads in droves (herds?). The crisis is is that the designated sites in state and National parks are not available in the vast quantities that are going to be required.

The parks are large and expansion is possible. The cost of the expansion is going to be the problem. It is apparent that those who are going to be required to pay boomer medical expense are also going to be required to finance the expansion of their campsites.


6 posted on 11/30/2013 6:31:54 AM PST by bert ((K.E. N.P. N.C. +12 ..... Travon... Felony assault and battery hate crime)
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To: trueamerica

I heard on the news that only 200,000 have signed up (including states) and they sew expecting 7 million by now. Holy cow! Big Fail!


7 posted on 11/30/2013 6:37:02 AM PST by napscoordinator ( Santorum-Bachmann 2016 for the future of the country!)
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To: trueamerica

I wonder how they’d classify me. 90% of my camping has been with just a tarp.


8 posted on 11/30/2013 6:42:31 AM PST by Sherman Logan
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To: trueamerica

Nothing better than sleeping under the stars.


9 posted on 11/30/2013 6:47:07 AM PST by huldah1776
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To: trueamerica

Backpacking should be interesting.


10 posted on 11/30/2013 7:12:18 AM PST by Proud2BeRight
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To: jsanders2001

Wrong again. Allah does not bless, and his minions wouldn’t ask him to. And the especially wouldn’t ask him to bless America.

I believe the correct ending would be “Allahu Akbar.”


11 posted on 11/30/2013 7:12:44 AM PST by BykrBayb (Somewhere, my flower is there. ~ Þ)
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To: trueamerica

May a Click, paste and distribute this?

Thank you.


12 posted on 11/30/2013 7:16:10 AM PST by Tenacious 1 (Liberals can afford for things to go well, to work, for folks to be happy. They'd be out of work.)
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To: trueamerica

The upside is that when your house is foreclosed, you’ll still have a place to live.


13 posted on 11/30/2013 7:27:02 AM PST by Disambiguator
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To: bert

Wrong. The big RV’s are dinosaurs and if you have one, good
luck on selling it. I know several dealers and have been told
by all of them that the trend is towards the smaller C class
as they initially cost less, cost less to operate, and repairs
won’t require you selling your first born.

We’ve had several, from 40’ Bluebirds to 40’ Country coach’s
and the expense can be frightening. We sold are last one 4
years ago and never looked back.


14 posted on 11/30/2013 8:01:32 AM PST by OregonRancher (Some days, it's not even worth chewing through the restraints)
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To: OregonRancher

Those sleek old GMC’s from the seventies run counter to that, they’re collectible, being restored or “renovated” with modern safety features, comforts and conveniences. The mileage was never all that hideous with those, though, despite the 455 Olds V-8 FWD drivetrain. Upfitted for electronic fuel injection, mileage in the mid-teens is not unheard of. The construction was more like a passenger jet fuselage so not that heavy and pretty aerodynamic as far as an RV goes. There are a few around that have had a Mercedes 5 cylinder diesel engine dropped in them, mileage in the mid-twenties. If I had sheltered parking for it, I’d love to have a well-kept, largely original survivor.


15 posted on 11/30/2013 8:11:03 AM PST by RegulatorCountry
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To: OregonRancher

Here’s a frame-off renovated one in Oregon,

http://www.bethunesales.com/listings/obrien.html


16 posted on 11/30/2013 8:25:32 AM PST by RegulatorCountry
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To: OregonRancher

What please is a C-class, and how does it differ from what you classify as “big” RV’s?

Thanks.


17 posted on 11/30/2013 8:28:16 AM PST by Cringing Negativism Network
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To: trueamerica

Solar Panel Act coming soon.


18 posted on 11/30/2013 8:34:50 AM PST by abclily
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To: OregonRancher

If I were going to travel I’d go with a fifth wheel. You have something to drive around on day trips and you can trade it off when the tow vehicle gets tired.


19 posted on 11/30/2013 8:35:01 AM PST by Lurkina.n.Learnin (This is not just stupid, we're talking Democrat stupid here.)
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To: Cringing Negativism Network

Class C is built on a Ford, Chevy, Dodge chassis with the
RV section attached to the factory front end.

Big rv’s, think bus conversion. Huge motor homes built on
either factory truck frames or custom built frames. What is nice about a big coach is you can pull your toad (towed)

Fifth wheels are a good way to go if you already have a truck that can pull it. It’s the least expensive way to rv. However, if you have to buy a new truck and the fifth wheel, you can easily go over a hundred grand.


20 posted on 11/30/2013 9:49:17 AM PST by OregonRancher (Some days, it's not even worth chewing through the restraints)
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To: OregonRancher

Mine is a Dodge (Mercedes) Sprinter that gets 23 or 24 MPG

We travel light and long distances

The point though is that there are going to be tons of boomers hitting the road


21 posted on 11/30/2013 10:03:16 AM PST by bert ((K.E. N.P. N.C. +12 ..... Travon... Felony assault and battery hate crime)
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To: OregonRancher

RV’s are like boats. The second-best day of your life is when you buy your first one. The best day of your life is when you sell your last one.


22 posted on 11/30/2013 10:17:14 AM PST by Cyber Liberty (H.L. Mencken: "The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.")
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To: RegulatorCountry
Yeah, I remember those GMCs - the interiors were wild, even by the standards of early '70s decor. To this day, I can't see one without thinking of the "Urban Assault Vehicle" from Stripes.
23 posted on 11/30/2013 12:25:35 PM PST by Charles Martel (Endeavor to persevere...)
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To: Cringing Negativism Network
Class A

Class C

Class B


24 posted on 11/30/2013 1:40:14 PM PST by Focault's Pendulum (I live in NJ....' Nuff said!)
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To: Focault's Pendulum; OregonRancher

Thanks


25 posted on 11/30/2013 4:10:58 PM PST by Cringing Negativism Network
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To: Charles Martel

They weren’t all wild, those GMC’s, it depended upon trim level and interior layout. The early Canyonlands model was wild as far as colors but a later top of the line model with black walnut cabinetry is nice enough to want to keep largely as is. That trim level with the side bath and rear U-lounge layout seem to be the most coveted. I’d love to have one as I mentioned, if I had covered parking for one.


26 posted on 12/01/2013 6:34:58 AM PST by RegulatorCountry
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To: RegulatorCountry
Yes, I suppose the "earth-tones" versions were more sedate. I was thinking of one that had a more tropical theme and lots of lime green inside. IIRC, there was one with red velour upholstery, too. Not that the interior really matters, as long as it's serviceable.

I always liked the Toronado power train, though. I'd have one, as well, if I had room to properly store it on my property. I can't justify the storage lot costs. The GMCs have a very devoted group of fans, rather like the Corvair.

27 posted on 12/01/2013 7:08:40 AM PST by Charles Martel (Endeavor to persevere...)
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To: Charles Martel

I’m going to sound like a geek, but the lime green was the Palm Beach model, not usually desirable, louvered blonde wood cabinet doors that tend to squeak. The red velour was a special edition Coca-Cola model, gaudy but highly collectible. A ‘78 Royale with the right interior layout is top of the heap for people who actually use them, here are photos of a really nice renovated one for sale in Ontario, CA for $22,500:

http://www.gmcmhphotos.com/photos/g4931-1978-royale-enhanced.html

Love the walnut, lol.


28 posted on 12/01/2013 9:23:32 AM PST by RegulatorCountry
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To: RegulatorCountry
Palm Beach... See, I knew there was a tropical reference to that one. Gawd, such artifacts in the ol' brain sludge. Do the GMC fans have a tech forum? I'd like to read more about possible engine and transaxle swaps.

Perhaps I should start with researching the one that holds the RV land speed record from Bonneville...

29 posted on 12/01/2013 7:34:55 PM PST by Charles Martel (Endeavor to persevere...)
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To: Charles Martel

There are plenty of tech posts to be found but not so many dedicated specifically to engine swaps. There’s a co-op, I think in Florida, that does a lot of it, as well as some of the wilder interior upgrades and renovations. The diesel swap has been done several times for obvious reasons of economy but mating a transaxle to the torque poses a cost problem, apparently, althought the 455 is pretty much a torque monster itself, you could just about pull the moon out of orbit, lol, so I’m not exactly sure what the issue might be. Several marine engines have been used, the Cadillac 500 ci has been used. There are gearheads who are into them, as evidenced by the several burnout videos on YouTube. That’s not something you see every day, an RV doing a burnout, lol.


30 posted on 12/01/2013 9:10:58 PM PST by RegulatorCountry
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To: Charles Martel

You weren’t kidding, lol, I didn’t know about that, 2013 Land speed record in an RV, 120.8 mph in an old GMC motorhome. Looked pretty rock steady at speed, too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwFnGRiZx-A


31 posted on 12/01/2013 9:22:48 PM PST by RegulatorCountry
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To: RegulatorCountry

Looks like they’re aiming for 130 mph next year. They might just do it, too - the Chevy 502 crate motor looked pretty basic. Lots more power to be tapped there.


32 posted on 12/01/2013 10:30:46 PM PST by Charles Martel (Endeavor to persevere...)
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