Skip to comments.The Affordable Camping Act [Vanity]
Posted on 11/30/2013 6:21:39 AM PST by trueamerica
Since camping with a tent is uncomfortable, the federal government has decided to make camping with a tent illegal, effective January 1, 2014. Everyone must upgrade to a camping plan approved by the federal government. This camping plan is also known as the RV Plan since an RV will be required.
Even if you have never gone camping, or never plan to go camping, you will have to purchase an RV on the government website. You will have to pay full retail price for the RV, except if you are poor, or a member of congress, or work for a member of congress. Then you will get a 70% discount off the retail price.
If you refuse to purchase an RV, you will have to pay a penalty (sorry tax). Camp sites will hire 16000 federal agents to make sure no tents are used on camp sites. Navigators will be hired to help people pick the right RV plan.
You will be happy to know that in the near future, the federal government will start to work on the Affordable Car Act and many other Affordable (fill in the blank) Acts. Eventually you will not have to make any decisions for yourself, since decision making is difficult. It will all be handled for you by government experts.
Sort of the same...the Affordable Flowers Act:
(Receptionist) Hello, Welcome to ObamaFlowers, My name is Trina. How can I help you?
(Customer) Hello, I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.
(Receptionist) Yes, I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of November. But I can help you.
(Customer) Thanks, I ordered a “Spring Bouquet” for our anniversary, and wanted it delivered to my wife.
(Receptionist Interrupting) Sir, “Spring Bouquets” do not meet our minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses.
(Customer) But I have always ordered “Spring Bouquets”, done it for years, my wife likes them.
(Receptionist) Roses are better, sir, I am sure your wife will love them.
(Customer) Well, how much are they?
(Receptionist) It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package.
(Customer) What’s the difference?
(Receptionist) 6, 12,18 or 24 Red Roses.
(Customer) The Silver package may be okay, how much is it?
(Receptionist) It depends sir, what is you monthly income?
(Customer) What does that have to do with anything?
(Receptionist) I need that to determine your government flower subsidy, then I can determine how much your out of pocket cost will be. But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our FlowerAid department.
(Receptionist) Yes, Flowers are a Right, everyone has a right to flowers. So, if you can’t afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge.
(Customer) Who said they were a Right?
(Receptionist) Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it Constitutional.
(Customer) Whoa.....I don’t remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding Flowers as a Right.
(Receptionist) It is not really a Right in the Constitution, but ObamaFlowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court Ruled it a “Tax”. Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a Right.
(Customer) I don’t believe this...
(Receptionist) It’s the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is you monthly income sir?
(Customer) Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year.
(Receptionist) In that case sir, I will still need your monthly income.
(Receptionist) To determine what your ‘non-participation’ cost would be.
(Customer) WHAT? Your can’t charge me for NOT buying flowers!
(Receptionist) It’s the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It’s $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income.....
(Customer)interrupting) This is ridiculous, I’ll pay the $9.50..
(Receptionist) Sir, it is the $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.
(Customer) ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a rip-off!!
(Receptionist) Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.
(Customer) Look, I’m going to call my Congressman to find out what’s going on here. This is ridiculous. I’m not going to pay it.
(Receptionist) Sorry to hear that sir, that’s why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone your are using.
(Customer) Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING?
(Receptionist) So they get your GPS coordinates sir
(Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door)
(Receptionist) That would be the IRS sir. Thanks for calling ObamaFlowers, have a nice day...and God Bless America.
Wait for the Affordable Crap Act. Most if not all used toilet paper is reusable.
Except the last line. They would have said “Allah bless America”.
As one who travels extensively in my home made RV, I can testify that there is a great crisis coming in RV travel. If you look at the large RV dealerships that are on the outskirts of just about all large cities you see thousands and thousands of the things.
The Boomers are about to hit the roads in droves (herds?). The crisis is is that the designated sites in state and National parks are not available in the vast quantities that are going to be required.
The parks are large and expansion is possible. The cost of the expansion is going to be the problem. It is apparent that those who are going to be required to pay boomer medical expense are also going to be required to finance the expansion of their campsites.
I heard on the news that only 200,000 have signed up (including states) and they sew expecting 7 million by now. Holy cow! Big Fail!
I wonder how they’d classify me. 90% of my camping has been with just a tarp.
Nothing better than sleeping under the stars.
Backpacking should be interesting.
Wrong again. Allah does not bless, and his minions wouldn’t ask him to. And the especially wouldn’t ask him to bless America.
I believe the correct ending would be “Allahu Akbar.”
May a Click, paste and distribute this?
The upside is that when your house is foreclosed, you’ll still have a place to live.
Wrong. The big RV’s are dinosaurs and if you have one, good
luck on selling it. I know several dealers and have been told
by all of them that the trend is towards the smaller C class
as they initially cost less, cost less to operate, and repairs
won’t require you selling your first born.
We’ve had several, from 40’ Bluebirds to 40’ Country coach’s
and the expense can be frightening. We sold are last one 4
years ago and never looked back.
Those sleek old GMC’s from the seventies run counter to that, they’re collectible, being restored or “renovated” with modern safety features, comforts and conveniences. The mileage was never all that hideous with those, though, despite the 455 Olds V-8 FWD drivetrain. Upfitted for electronic fuel injection, mileage in the mid-teens is not unheard of. The construction was more like a passenger jet fuselage so not that heavy and pretty aerodynamic as far as an RV goes. There are a few around that have had a Mercedes 5 cylinder diesel engine dropped in them, mileage in the mid-twenties. If I had sheltered parking for it, I’d love to have a well-kept, largely original survivor.
Here’s a frame-off renovated one in Oregon,
What please is a C-class, and how does it differ from what you classify as “big” RV’s?
Solar Panel Act coming soon.
If I were going to travel I’d go with a fifth wheel. You have something to drive around on day trips and you can trade it off when the tow vehicle gets tired.
Class C is built on a Ford, Chevy, Dodge chassis with the
RV section attached to the factory front end.
Big rv’s, think bus conversion. Huge motor homes built on
either factory truck frames or custom built frames. What is nice about a big coach is you can pull your toad (towed)
Fifth wheels are a good way to go if you already have a truck that can pull it. It’s the least expensive way to rv. However, if you have to buy a new truck and the fifth wheel, you can easily go over a hundred grand.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.