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You Must Be Sod****ed
National Review ^ | 12/10/2013 | Jonah Goldberg

Posted on 12/10/2013 9:05:08 AM PST by markomalley

Now, at first I thought this was a hoax But it appears it isn’t. Apparently a fellow writing into a Jihadi chat show, wants to do “martyrdom operations.” The sheikh he talked to says they’ve got a great new technique to blow up infidels. We hide explosives up your butt. There’s just one hitch. You’ve got to be repeatedly sodomized in order to be able to accommodate the explosive. So, the questioner wants to know if it is permissible for him to be regularly rogered, if doing so makes his posterior more amenable to hiding explosives. The fellow on camera, Shiite cleric Abdallah Al-Khilaf, says that even though sodomy is forbidden if it is necessary for jihad, well, then it is required. Because jihad is the highest obligation.

Now, what I find hilarious here is that it never occurs to anyone that there might be some kind of technological work-around short of repeated sodomy. You know, maybe there’s a device or a technique, something that is a little less unpleasant, inconvenient or forbidden than straight-up buggery? Nope. Gotta go with the sodomy. The Saturday Night Live skit writes itself.

Jihadi: What if we make the bomb smaller?
Sheikh: What? That’s crazy. Sodomy is the only way.
Jihadi: Couldn’t I use replica of a male, well, you know. In private like . . .
Sheikh: Shh Let’s not even discuss it.
Jihadi: What if I’m willing to tolerate a lot of discomfort when it comes time for the martyrdom operation? I mean, it’s my choice. I am blowing myself up after all. What’s a little discomfort?
Sheikh: You’re not hearing me. This is the way it has to be. Don’t you want to murder infidels?



TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; War on Terror
KEYWORDS: gaystapotactics; globaljihad; homosexualagenda; ied; napl; radicalislam; sodomy; suicidebombers; waronterror
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I censored the title in the hopes that the thread won't be deleted. You can go to the link to see the uncensored version (if you can't figure it out on your own).
1 posted on 12/10/2013 9:05:09 AM PST by markomalley
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To: markomalley

Ahem.

Having spent a lot of time working in Emergency Rooms, I can assure you there are other ways to get things, ummm, up there.


2 posted on 12/10/2013 9:07:23 AM PST by Gamecock (There are not just two ways to respond to God but three: irreligion, religion, and the gospel. (TK))
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To: Gamecock

how many times a year would that happen? I hear it is surprisingly often


3 posted on 12/10/2013 9:10:33 AM PST by Mr. K (If you like your constitution, you can keep it. Period.)
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To: markomalley

We make martyrs the old fashioned way......................


4 posted on 12/10/2013 9:12:10 AM PST by Red Badger (Proud member of the Zeta Omicron Tau Fraternity since 2004...................)
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To: Gamecock

Sound like Shiite cleric Abdallah Al-Khilafs is playing for the other team...


5 posted on 12/10/2013 9:12:24 AM PST by Rumplemeyer (The GOP should stand its ground - and fix Bayonets)
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To: markomalley

LOL Sounds like some kind of Monty Python skit.

What do you mean I have to take it up the butt?
Yes up the butt.
Surely there must be another way.
This is the best way I assure you. In my day they used a bull.


6 posted on 12/10/2013 9:13:33 AM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: markomalley

reminds me of an Eddie Murphy song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07P538K83iU


7 posted on 12/10/2013 9:16:12 AM PST by TurboZamboni (Marx smelled bad & lived with his parents most his life.)
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To: Mr. K

Couple or three.

Medium sized ERs.


8 posted on 12/10/2013 9:16:13 AM PST by Gamecock (There are not just two ways to respond to God but three: irreligion, religion, and the gospel. (TK))
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To: markomalley

Well, if this moron is willing to blow his butt to smithereens, what does a little buggery matter?


9 posted on 12/10/2013 9:19:06 AM PST by colorado tanker
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To: markomalley; SJackson; Nathan

Now, that’s funny...

Jihadi: What if we make the bomb smaller?
Sheikh: What? That’s crazy. Sodomy is the only way.
Jihadi: Couldn’t I use replica of a male, well, you know. In private like . . .
Sheikh: Shh! Let’s not even discuss it.
Jihadi: What if I’m willing to tolerate a lot of discomfort when it comes time for the martyrdom operation? I mean, it’s my choice. I am blowing myself up after all. What’s a little discomfort?
Sheikh: You’re not hearing me. This is the way it has to be. Don’t you want to murder infidels?


10 posted on 12/10/2013 9:20:18 AM PST by GOPJ ("Remember who the real enemy is... ")
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To: markomalley

And this country continues to allow them in?


11 posted on 12/10/2013 9:20:35 AM PST by I want the USA back (Media: completely irresponsible traitors. Complicit in the destruction of our country.)
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To: markomalley

I’ve long suspected that repressed homosexuality is behind Islamic terrorism. These guys get buggered over and over again as children, and unlike molested young males around the world who grow up to become homosexuals, the Islamists have to repress it.

I would do a “/s,” but I’m not sure it is.


12 posted on 12/10/2013 9:21:07 AM PST by pallis
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To: Gamecock
Having spent a lot of time working in Emergency Rooms, I can assure you there are other ways to get things, ummm, up there.

I've heard about "the list." One of them had "softball" as an item (this from some friends who did ER work in the past).

13 posted on 12/10/2013 9:21:48 AM PST by Disambiguator
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To: markomalley

Hurrah for “marriage equality”!

So who’s going to bake them a cake?


14 posted on 12/10/2013 9:24:22 AM PST by Edward Teach
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To: pallis
I’ve long suspected that repressed homosexuality is behind Islamic terrorism. These guys get buggered over and over again as children, and unlike molested young males around the world who grow up to become homosexuals, the Islamists have to repress it.

If you have the stomach for it, watch Ann Barnhardt's videos on Islamic sexuality. You're pretty much on the mark.

15 posted on 12/10/2013 9:24:29 AM PST by Disambiguator
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To: Disambiguator; Larry Lucido; F15Eagle
It was a million to one shot, doc, million to one.


16 posted on 12/10/2013 9:25:39 AM PST by Gamecock (There are not just two ways to respond to God but three: irreligion, religion, and the gospel. (TK))
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To: cripplecreek

Grumpy Old Man chimes in, “And we liked it!”


17 posted on 12/10/2013 9:25:54 AM PST by BykrBayb (Somewhere, my flower is there. ~ Þ)
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To: markomalley

Just use a koran.


18 posted on 12/10/2013 9:26:05 AM PST by Resolute Conservative
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To: markomalley

Jeff Dunham needs to put this in his next act.


19 posted on 12/10/2013 9:27:54 AM PST by Resolute Conservative
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To: Disambiguator

I wonder if they have a designated “pitcher”?

You have all your hopeful designated martyrs lined up in their skivvies and the Imam shouts “bring in Achmed!” That would really be a tough job. But, someone’s gotta do it.


20 posted on 12/10/2013 9:28:01 AM PST by saleman
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To: I want the USA back
And this country continues to allow them in?

ALLOW them in???

We don't ALLOW them in.

We give them preferential fast track expedited entry.

21 posted on 12/10/2013 9:28:21 AM PST by null and void (I'm betting on an Obama Trifecta: A Nobel Peace Prize, an Impeachment, AND a War Crimes Trial...)
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To: BykrBayb

LOL

We just gritted our teeth till they shattered in our mouths and we liked it.


22 posted on 12/10/2013 9:31:45 AM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: BykrBayb
That's The Way It Was And We Liked It
23 posted on 12/10/2013 9:35:20 AM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: Red Badger

Plus the sheep and goats get some relief....


24 posted on 12/10/2013 9:38:38 AM PST by Farmer Dean (stop worrying about what they want to do to you,start thinking about what you want to do to them)
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To: saleman

From the sound of the pitch, would seem the Imam was wanting his turn “outside” the barrel.

Camels, donkeys, kids, buttbombs ..... what a religion and to imagine some were bitchin about Catholics and Mormons.


25 posted on 12/10/2013 9:44:27 AM PST by X-spurt (CRUZ missile - armed and ready.)
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To: Gamecock

“Having spent a lot of time working in Emergency Rooms, I can assure you there are other ways to get things, ummm, up there.”

It was a one in a million shot!


26 posted on 12/10/2013 9:49:58 AM PST by dsrtsage (One half of all people have below average IQ. In the US the number is 54%)
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To: markomalley

Go ahead Muslims, try to convince the rest of us that Satan isn’t your god.


27 posted on 12/10/2013 9:50:55 AM PST by drypowder
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To: markomalley

“But first, Roo-Roo”.


28 posted on 12/10/2013 10:02:46 AM PST by Zeppo ("Happy Pony is on - and I'm NOT missing Happy Pony")
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To: markomalley

This isn’t anything new. They used a anal cavity bomb in Saudi Arabia a few years ago.


29 posted on 12/10/2013 10:14:25 AM PST by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: markomalley

White House: Terrorists Have Discussed Use of “Anal Cavity” to Conceal Explosives
abc ^ | 11/22/2010 | JAKE TAPPER, HUMA KHAN, SHARYN ALFONSI and LEE FERRAN
Posted on Monday, November 22, 2010
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2631539/posts

Trouble in Saudi Arabia: Al-Qaeda’s ‘Bum’ Assassination Attempt
Pajamas Media ^ | Sept. 24 | Annie Jacobsen
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/2347394/posts


30 posted on 12/10/2013 10:16:28 AM PST by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: markomalley
...what I find hilarious here is that it never occurs to anyone that there might be some kind of technological work-around short of repeated sodomy.

No wonder the Democrat party supports it so vocally.

31 posted on 12/10/2013 10:17:15 AM PST by SoFloFreeper
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To: markomalley

BOHICA,BOHICA,BOHICA,BOHICA,BOHICA .........................................................................


32 posted on 12/10/2013 10:18:16 AM PST by Huskerfan44 (Huskerfan44 (22 Yr, Navy Vet))
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To: markomalley; Revolting cat!; Slings and Arrows
"Million to one shot, doc."


33 posted on 12/10/2013 10:18:23 AM PST by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: markomalley

Was Obama’s early training for this?


34 posted on 12/10/2013 10:20:34 AM PST by Huskerfan44 (Huskerfan44 (22 Yr, Navy Vet))
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To: markomalley

35 posted on 12/10/2013 10:23:55 AM PST by freedomlover
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To: markomalley

~~~Sheikh: What? That’s crazy~~~

Well, I’d say this sheik is an expert on ‘crazy’, it appears.


36 posted on 12/10/2013 10:23:59 AM PST by F15Eagle (1Jn4:15;5:4-5,11-13;Mt27:50-54;Mk15:33-34;Jn3:17-18,6:69,11:25,14:6,20:31;Ro10:8-11;1Tm2:5-6;Ti3:4-7)
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To: Huskerfan44
Was Obama’s early training for this?

That would explain where they produced that bomb they call the Affordable Care Act from.

37 posted on 12/10/2013 10:25:59 AM PST by tacticalogic
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To: a fool in paradise; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; ...


38 posted on 12/10/2013 10:32:34 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: markomalley

I suppose if you are naive and gullible enough to blow yourself up at the urging of a “cleric”, what’s a little sodomy gonna hurt?

This really brings jihad into a new and well deserved perspective. I’m sure the Camels will appreciate it.


39 posted on 12/10/2013 10:38:43 AM PST by IamConservative (The soul of my lifes journey is Liberty!)
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To: markomalley

Beware the Goatse. Could be carrying a nuke.


40 posted on 12/10/2013 10:41:02 AM PST by Moltke (Sapere aude!)
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To: Gamecock

I have a sister who was an emergency room nurse. She has a lot of amusing stories about her experiences there with people putting things in uh...places they weren’t designed to go.


41 posted on 12/10/2013 10:56:46 AM PST by driftless2
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To: Moltke
Beware the Goatse. Could be carrying a nuke.

There are better carriers.

42 posted on 12/10/2013 10:57:42 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: markomalley

“You’re not really here for the jihad, are you, Salman?”


43 posted on 12/10/2013 11:08:24 AM PST by RichInOC ("In the name of Allah, The Inexorable, The Irresistible...")
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To: markomalley

I saw this before a while ago.

Goldberg dug out something from the files.


44 posted on 12/10/2013 11:15:01 AM PST by ifinnegan
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To: dennisw; Cachelot; Nix 2; veronica; Catspaw; knighthawk; Alouette; Optimist; weikel; Lent; GregB; ..
Middle East and terrorism, occasional political and Jewish issues Ping List. High Volume

If you’d like to be on or off, please FR mail me.

..................

The things you have to go through to kill infidels.

45 posted on 12/10/2013 11:22:42 AM PST by SJackson (the Democrats take back control, we don’t make (this) kind of naked power grab, J Biden)
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To: Gamecock

The Sheikh will do his holy duty and provide the necessary male member to do the sodding.


46 posted on 12/10/2013 11:29:30 AM PST by Eleutheria5 (End the occupation. Annex today.)
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To: pallis

Part that, and mostly inbreeding which I think causes it to begin with. They would worship a jello mold if it promised them 72 virgins.


47 posted on 12/10/2013 11:42:43 AM PST by gr8eman (Bandying nice with wannabe commies is over! You're either for freedom or you're not!)
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To: Slings and Arrows; markomalley; 50mm; Salamander; humblegunner; Eaker; TheOldLady
Armageddon!

And if you don't have a gerbil, just use your Bieber.
48 posted on 12/10/2013 11:43:26 AM PST by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
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To: shibumi
"Everyone gets the shakes before a drop. Suck it up."


49 posted on 12/10/2013 11:48:13 AM PST by humblegunner
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To: shibumi

> And if you don’t have a gerbil, just use your Bieber.

Stuneing!


50 posted on 12/10/2013 11:50:33 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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