FReeper Canteen - Christmas Music Dedication - 21 Dec 2013

Our Troops Rock!!!!! | The Canteen DJ Elves

[Liberty Valance]

Christmas Greetings & Salutations!

American Music Shop: Mark O'Connor, Maura O'Connell, Bela Fleck

[Kathy in Alaska]

Good evening, Mayor, and thank you for today’s sustenance for body and soul.

[ConorMacNessa]

Good evening, Kathy!

*HUGS*

The commutes today were not bad - light traffic on Friday. No bomb scares, no broken water mains, no police blockades.

The tree is up and decorated. The finishing touches were applied a few minutes ago and I authorized the placement of the Angel atop Tannenbaum MacNessa as I composed this post. Pictures will follow - we were assisted by the MacNessa bairns and friends.

Unseasonably warm here - we have the windows open.

America demands Justice for the Fallen of Benghazi!

O stranger, tell the Lacedaemonians that we lie here, obedient to their command.

Listen, O isles, unto me; and hearken, ye people, from far; The LORD hath called me from the womb; from the bowels of my mother hath he made mention of my name. (Isaiah 49:1 KJV)

[Liberty Valance]

Ol' Blue : Mark O'Connor / James Taylor "An Appalachian Christmas"

[Kathy in Alaska]

Good evening, Marine...((HUGS))...are you ready for Christmas?

Nice weather?

[Kathy in Alaska]

Good evening, Publius, and thank you for Rachmaninov’s “The Star Spangled Banner”.

[Publius]

Aw shucks.

(BLUSH BLUSH)

[luvie]

A
Very
Merry
Christmas
Everyone--with
Canteen Christmas
Fun!
hugs

Thank you, Canteen DJs
for all your hard work!

[luvie]

Beautiful!! Bravo!

[SandRat]

?

[Publius]

I’ve compiled a list of politically correct Winter Holiday songs that have no hint of anything that could possibly offend anyone’s tender sensibilities. The first one is actually being sung in our public schools today.

“Still in the Night”

“O Come All Ye Ambivalent”

“Random Chance Rest Ye Merry Gentlepersons”

“O Little Town of the Occupied Territories”

“Hark, the Herald Ancient Aliens Sing”

“O Inclusive Night”

“We Three Democratically Elected Presidents of the Indigenous Peoples of Asia Are”

“The Height-Challenged Transgendered Percussionist Boy/Girl”

“Do You Hear What I Hear (Closed Captioning Provided)”

“The Obese, Pipe Smoking, Commercialized, Unshaven Unauthorized Distributor of Entitlements is Coming to Town”

“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, and My Other Mommy is Really Pi$$ed Off”

“Testosterone Producing Units Roasting on a Properly Vented, Thoroughly Safe, Non-Fossil-Fuel-Consuming Emission-Free Heat Source”

”It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas, and the ACLU is Going to Sue Your A$$ Off for That”

“I’m Dreaming of an Ethnically Diverse Solstice”

”Deck Your Bowels With Hunks of Holly” (From fabulous San Francisco!)

George Frederick Handel wrote a magnificent cantata. (The politically incorrect word would be oratorio, but that would imply prayer, coming from the Latin orare, “to pray”, and we all know that there’s no one there to listen, don’t we?) The one-word title of this piece is so politically incorrect that it can barely be translated without offending someone! A proper translation into Politically-Correctese would be:

”Person Who Has Symbolically Had Vegetable Oil Poured on His/Her Head, Thus Signifying That He/She is Special (But No More Special Than Anyone Else!)

The politically correct version of this towering work contains:

• “Every Valley Shall be Exalted (Until it is Equal in Depth to All Other Valleys)”
• ”For Behold, Darkness Shall Cover the Earth (Due to Anthropogenic Global Warming)”
• ”For Unto Us a Child is Born (Which is One Useless Eater Too Many for This Poor Overpopulated World)”
• ”There Were Shepherds Abiding in the Field (Until the Government Turned the Field into a National Park, Confiscated the Sheep and Shot the Shepherds)”
• ”Then Shall the Eyes of the Blind be Opened (And the Obamacare Fee be Charged)”
• ”And We Like Sheep (Now Legal in Three Five States)”
• ”Thou Art Gone Up on High (‘Cos that Weed was Truly Righteous, Dude!)”
• ”The Lord Gave the Word, Great Was the Company of the Preachers (Until the IRS Shut Them Up)”
• ”How Beautiful are the Feet” (The San Francisco Fetish Aria)
• ”Let Us Break Their Bonds Asunder (And Screw the Bondholders)”
• “I Know That My Government Bailout Liveth”

Then there is the beloved Winter Holiday ballet by Tchaikovsky known as “The Hypo-Allergenic Non-Peanut-Cracker (Produced on Equipment That Does Not Process Peanuts or Other Tree-Related Products)”

This includes:

• ”March of the Toy Fully Diversified and Non-Gender Biased Military Personnel”
• ”Dance of the Arab Spring Freedom Fighters”
• ”Dance of the Asians”
• ”Dance of the Melting-Glacier-Due-to-Anthropogenic Global Warming Flakes”
• ”Dance of the Sugar-Free Plum Member of the GLBT Community”

Now, for our Winter Holiday festivities, a list of politically correct movies:

”It’s a Wonderful Life, Unless You’re a Member of an Oppressed Minority”

“Easily Explained Scientific Phenomenon on 34th Street”

“How the Grinch Brought Diversity and Cultural Sensitivity to Whoville”

“Multicultural Solstice” (except for the problem that the music was written by a member of the Zionist Entity, Irving Berlin)

Canteen members, add your own!

[luvie]

Yep!

[Kathy in Alaska]

Christmas Greetings & Salutations to you, too, Liberty.

Thanks for the video tunes for the troops to enjoy. ((HUGS))

[luvie]

Funny stuff! :)

[Kathy in Alaska]

wh!!

Sand.....#50!!

[Publius]

Last year you said you were laughing so hard your teeth hurt.

[2111USMC]

Not really ready yet (I suspect you didn't see my post to you the other day).

I had a heart attack last week. I'm feeling better but not 100% yet. Still trying to get used to all the new medications. The good news is that I got back to work the last three days. Been short on time to shop and there is a major snow storm hitting us tomorrow. The kids will most likely get cards with cash (I'm sure they'll be fine with that).

Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful and starting to get in the Christmas spirit. Things have just been a little wild around here.

Hope all is well with you. You Canteen gals are really appreciated.

[Colonel_Flagg]

Good evening and Merry-Almost-Christmas to you!

[Squantos]

Some good guitar.....:o)

A medley per se .....

http://youtu.be/PNhwNhOXsIk

Stay safe Merry Christmas All !

[SandRat]

First, Bob Hope, touring the world in the year or so after the passage of the 1975 Consenting Adult Sex Bill:

“I’ve just flown in from California, where they’ve made homosexuality legal. I thought I’d get out before they make it compulsory.”

For Hope, this was an oddly profound gag, discerning even at the dawn of the Age of Tolerance that there was something inherently coercive about the enterprise. Soon it would be insufficient merely to be “tolerant” — warily accepting, blithely indifferent, mildly amused, tepidly supportive, according to taste. The forces of “tolerance” would become intolerant of anything less than full-blown celebratory approval.

Second joke from the archives: Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra kept this one in the act for a quarter-century. On stage, Dino used to have a bit of business where he’d refill his tumbler and ask Frank, “How do you make a fruit cordial?” And Sinatra would respond, “I dunno. How do you make a fruit cordial?” And Dean would say, “Be nice to him.”