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How to Avoid Huge Ships
Amazon.com ^ | March 1993 | John W. Trimmer

Posted on 01/02/2014 6:08:36 PM PST by artichokegrower

How to Avoid Huge Ships Paperback by John W. Trimmer (Author) 1,098 customer reviews

(Excerpt) Read more at amazon.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS:
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1,098 of the most creative customer reviews ever on Amazon including:

158 of 172 people found the following review helpful 5.0 out of 5 stars Anchors Away!!!, January 17, 2011 By CaptainCarl55 - See all my reviews This review is from: How to Avoid Huge Ships (Paperback) Have you been walking down the street and been struck by a massive ocean liner or aircraft carrier? Are huge ships following you around,scaring away your friends and family? Have you lost sleep at night due to a ships's whistle? Does the Navy harass you because all the ships at the base follow you home? Don't feel alone or threatened literally billions of people deal with this problem every year and fortunately there is a quick and easy solution. Leading scientists at Pompous Blowhard University have developed this easy-to-read book to help people just like you.

In this comprehensive guide you'll learn the following skills: - How to ship proof your house - How to make a scareship - How to turn your front lawn into a giant reef - How to ward off evil ships with the sign of the anchor - Where to purchase icebergs - Feel like a ship is stalking you? Learn how to hire pirates to kidnap it and sail it far away from you

You'll learn and this and much much more but only if you act now! Operators are standing by

1 posted on 01/02/2014 6:08:36 PM PST by artichokegrower
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To: artichokegrower

Cheez burger?


2 posted on 01/02/2014 6:11:33 PM PST by ifinnegan
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To: ifinnegan

A bunny with a pancake on his head?


3 posted on 01/02/2014 6:12:55 PM PST by saganite (What happens to taglines? Is there a termination date?)
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To: artichokegrower

             

4 posted on 01/02/2014 6:16:37 PM PST by tomkat
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To: artichokegrower

Awesome reviews. I don’t want to avoid huge ships, but if I did, this would be book for me.


5 posted on 01/02/2014 6:17:23 PM PST by La Lydia
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To: artichokegrower

6 posted on 01/02/2014 6:17:48 PM PST by Maceman (Just say "NO" to tyranny.)
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To: artichokegrower

Clearly a satire. 0.0 Is that really the price?!


7 posted on 01/02/2014 6:18:12 PM PST by KGeorge (Till we're together again, Gypsy girl. May 28, 1998- June 3, 2013)
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To: artichokegrower

Oh... SHIPS!


8 posted on 01/02/2014 6:18:23 PM PST by Kirkwood (Zombie Hunter)
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To: artichokegrower

Pretty funny stuff!

http://www.amazon.com/Avoid-Ships-Other-Implausibly-Titled/dp/1845133218/ref=pd_sim_sbs_b_5

“2008 marks the 30th anniversary of the Diagram Prize, the momentous annual contest to determine the oddest book title of the year. Established in 1978 by book packagers the Diagram Group, the prize is a joyous celebration of the barmy side of publishing. Baffling titles such as Bombproof Your Horse, How to Avoid Huge Ships and People Who Don’t Know They’re Dead have all been recipients of this glittering prize. Who could forget classic winners such as Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers or The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories? Who could fail to be inspired by titles such as Highlights in the History of Concrete and Weeds in a Changing World?”


9 posted on 01/02/2014 6:19:40 PM PST by dynachrome (Vertrou in God en die Mauser)
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To: artichokegrower

I wind to get a bunch of those lifesized concrete hippos and place them around in the lake in front of my house.

They probably won’t keep ships away but they should be fine for scaring off savage natives.


10 posted on 01/02/2014 6:19:53 PM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: artichokegrower

If huge ships play the Knockout Game they could probably do a real number on you.


11 posted on 01/02/2014 6:23:39 PM PST by kaehurowing
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To: artichokegrower

What do you have against ships?


12 posted on 01/02/2014 6:25:29 PM PST by Rio (Proud resident of the State of Jefferson)
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To: artichokegrower

Not certain what he suggests in his book, but I took care of my Huge ship problem by moving to Kansas.


13 posted on 01/02/2014 6:26:04 PM PST by Pete from Shawnee Mission (take a well-made oar carry it until you come to a land where the people have never heard of the sea)
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To: cripplecreek

Tried once at Easter Island. Didn’t work.


14 posted on 01/02/2014 6:26:27 PM PST by CrazyIvan (Obama phones= Bread and circuits.)
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To: artichokegrower

This asshole should be locked in a rubber room!


15 posted on 01/02/2014 6:26:29 PM PST by dalereed
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To: artichokegrower

There is a companion book with a similar title. The P in the is a T in the companion book. The entire book reads, “Do not associate with Liberals.”


16 posted on 01/02/2014 6:27:17 PM PST by MIchaelTArchangel (Have a wonderful day!)
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To: artichokegrower

Paperback $198.99?????

Amazon.con


17 posted on 01/02/2014 6:29:56 PM PST by Red in Blue PA (When Injustice becomes Law, Resistance Becomes Duty.-Thomas Jefferson)
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To: dynachrome
There really is such a book:


18 posted on 01/02/2014 6:34:17 PM PST by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: artichokegrower

lol


19 posted on 01/02/2014 6:34:43 PM PST by GeronL (Extra Large Cheesy Over-Stuffed Hobbit)
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To: Cicero

lol

You actually looked that up?


20 posted on 01/02/2014 6:36:39 PM PST by GeronL (Extra Large Cheesy Over-Stuffed Hobbit)
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