Posted on 01/06/2014 3:55:37 PM PST by naturalman1975
MEET Queensland's dumbest criminal.
Lex Adams claimed almost $60,000 in crisis money for the boat he insisted was washed away in the 2011 floods - but he penned a very different tale of a hapless high seas adventure for a sailing magazine.
The Brisbane District Court yesterday heard how as Adams pocketed the bulk of the cash in 2011, he'd already written a detailed feature article about the day he ran his uninsured boat into a sandbar off Townsville.
(Excerpt) Read more at heraldsun.com.au ...
And dumb me put 2013 for the date instead of 2014...
1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. ... The chef’s claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer ... $15. (Question: If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper left a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called security immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast. ... The frustrated gunman walked away.
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had and the perp had been punished enough!
Not true. Paul Harvey got caught on that one too. The effluent tank discharge handle is below the fueling cap. There is no way access can be gained to the tank other than either the toilet or pulling the discharge handle. This is another urban legend.
I think a significant portion of these types of stories are fakes, but they still make for entertaining reading. Kinda like the Auto-Correct Fails on smart phones. Phony but funny.
Ya, but it’s funny how some people are caught in on them without doing some research.
“3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.”
If he gets a jury of Chicagoans, the man might walk.
“The effluent tank discharge handle is below the fueling cap. There is no way access can be gained to the tank other than either the toilet or pulling the discharge handle.”
Yes.
And No.
My 320 Travvie has both fuel caps some ten feet ahead of the dump valve.
But you are quite correct about the rest.
Yes, but you can’t gain access to the effluent tank from the outside. All you have is the discharge handle. There is no cap to remove to get to that tank. You pull that dump handle and you’ll get a face full of you know what.
Plus he was already on disability for a “back injury”.
Yes - I hope they look at that again. I believe those who are genuinely injured at work should be looked after, but anybody who’d fake like this might well have done it before.
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