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Why competing with men has left women out of touch with their feminine side
MailOnline - news, sport, celebrity, science and health stories ^ | Anna Pasternak

Posted on 01/11/2014 6:45:03 AM PST by B212

Recently, the media has been awash with articles suggesting that career women are to relationships what garlic is to a vampire - the kiss of death.

We're unable to sustain meaningful unions, apparently, because men are intimidated by our intellect, threatened by our higher earning potential and turned off by our controlling, capable, yet powerful personalities.

Two years ago I went to dinner with a doctor who told me that I 'wasn't in touch with my femininity' as I 'didn't flirt or wear much make-up'.

His diagnosis also included the undeniable fact that I was in 'acute need of affection'.

'It's amazing how being at one with your body puts you more instinctively in touch with your physical self-esteem.'

The most valuable lesson I've gained has been to wear the clothes I enjoy, instead of saving them for best.

Interestingly, I've had more comments on my appearance lately. I'm beginning to see that femininity is like a flower. Water it by paying attention and it will blossom.

Next, I went to see renowned cosmetic surgeon Dr Jean-Louis Sebagh.

Responsible for some of the most beautiful faces in the world, including Cindy Crawford, he is nicknamed the Botox King.

He had just returned from Russia, where he took part in a documentary on the subject of women and femininity.

'Russian women don't have that hardness of women in England and America,' he said.

'They get their men because they are extremely feminine and they listen to their men, yet they are not regressive. They have managed to hold on to an old-fashioned prettiness.

'In contrast, most of the women I see in Europe have become warriors. They are feisty and aggressive.

(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: femininity; genderwars; psychology; sex; workforce

1 posted on 01/11/2014 6:45:03 AM PST by B212
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To: B212
Why competing with men has left women out of touch with their feminine side

One HR Clinton, aka Madam Benghazi, is a perfect example of some of the most un-feminine "women" you could find, and perfectly represents most dem "women".

2 posted on 01/11/2014 7:02:06 AM PST by The Sons of Liberty (Who but a TYRANT shoves down another man's throat what he has exempted himself from?)
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To: B212

Feminists teach women that work and careers are “exciting” and “challenging” and “rewarding”, even “fun”. HAHAHAHAHA! Men were off having a party at work (like in Mad Men), while women were suffering at home. That is the essential premise of feminism. A lie.


3 posted on 01/11/2014 7:02:57 AM PST by cdcdawg (Be seeing you...)
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To: B212

There are three pertinent factors at play, here.

1) As David Attenborough might say, “In the human species, the female is biologically compelled to ‘display’ herself, in competition with other females, to attract male suitors. Likewise, the male is attuned to recognize and respond to such displays. The female can then select among suitors a preferred mate.”

2) (Continuing with the Attenborough narration) “The prerogative of the many male mammals is to reproduce with as many females as possible; but females have the double prerogative to reproduce with the optimal male, but also to form a monogamous relationship with a ‘provider’ male to help raise her offspring. And when there is an abundance of males, it is unlikely to be the same male for both roles.

“However, the human species performs a mutually beneficial practice called ‘marriage’, that benefits both partners in a monogamous relationship, and most assuredly benefits their offspring.”

3) “However, there are many humans who are not optimally designed to mate, reproduce and raise children. This to a great extent may explain homosexuality, prostitution, and post-menopausal sexual activity; to prevent such ‘accessory people’ from interfering with breeding pairs.”


4 posted on 01/11/2014 7:14:01 AM PST by yefragetuwrabrumuy (There Is Still A Very Hot War On Terror, Just Not On The MSM. Rantburg.com)
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To: B212

I am not saying this applies to most conservstive men raised the right way, but there is a lack of men who treat women like women and do their job as men. They can’t support their families, can’t fix things, can’t open doors, can’t gas up the car, put air in the tires, or do anything but act like lazy metro 12 year old boys. You want me to soften up? Treat me respectfully and like a woman. I act like a woman with men who treat me like one.


5 posted on 01/11/2014 7:14:23 AM PST by conservative cat
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To: B212
Fascinating. “because men are intimidated by our intellect...” I laughed. It certainly isn't displayed in common vocabulary skills even among the most well-dressed and successful women unfortunately. “And I was like omigod,” “and I was like whatever,” and “like literally” are hyped examples.
6 posted on 01/11/2014 7:16:39 AM PST by ConservativeStatement ("World Peace 1.20.09.")
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To: B212

When I was single, I noticed that many powerful or professional women made themselves unapproachable, and then whined that they were not approached by any acceptible men.


7 posted on 01/11/2014 7:17:13 AM PST by Daveinyork (IER)
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To: conservative cat

At the same time men don’t really want to be around control-freak Feminazis.

Both sides need to treat each other better.


8 posted on 01/11/2014 7:20:07 AM PST by Jack Hydrazine (Pubbies = national collectivists; Dems = international collectivists; me = independent conservative)
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To: B212

Put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
And go out to the car and change the tyre.
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe,
And then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire, babe,
And come and tell me why you’re leaving me.

Now don’t I let you wash the car on Sunday?
Don’t I warn you when you’re gettin fat?
Ain’t I a-gonna take you fishin’ with me someday?
Well, a man can’t love a woman more than that.
Ain’t I always nice to your kid sister?
Don’t I take her driving every night?
So, sit here at my feet ‘cos I like you when you’re sweet,
And you know it ain’t feminine to fight.


9 posted on 01/11/2014 7:24:11 AM PST by Rebelbase (Tagline: optional, printed after your name on post)
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To: ConservativeStatement
Fascinating. “because men are intimidated by our intellect...” I laughed.

Me too. This woman may be turned in the right direction, but she's still a little lost in a fantasy world.

What man doesn't want to be matched up with a smart woman? It's just that there aren't that many around, most have allowed themselves to be mislead to think they are, but they are just trying to bluff their way through it.

10 posted on 01/11/2014 7:36:38 AM PST by Balding_Eagle (Damn ObamaCare, full speed ahead!)
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To: B212

when women were taught to act like men, why weren’t they taught to act like nice men?


11 posted on 01/11/2014 7:36:54 AM PST by dangerdoc (I don't think you should be forced to make the same decision I did even if I know I'm right.)
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To: conservative cat
I am not saying this applies to most conservstive men raised the right way, but there is a lack of men who treat women like women and do their job as men. They can’t support their families, can’t fix things, can’t open doors, can’t gas up the car, put air in the tires, or do anything but act like lazy metro 12 year old boys. You want me to soften up? Treat me respectfully and like a woman. I act like a woman with men who treat me like one.

Good point; but in the "big picture" (that is, societally) men aren't appreciated for their "male attributes".
A good example would be the "male" tendency toward logical thinking; which is not appreciated in the societal realms it once was. Law, for example, is full of logical inconsistency, and to challenge this inconsistency you are often forced to do so as a defendant (a position of weakness) rather than allowed to challenge it as a peer — Example: New Mexico's State Constitution flatly prohibits counties and municipalities from restricting "an incident of the right to keep and bear arms", yet there are many county and municipal courthouses which prohibit weapons inside.

12 posted on 01/11/2014 7:44:58 AM PST by OneWingedShark (Q: Why am I here? A: To do Justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.)
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To: ConservativeStatement

Intellect can take many forms.

My wife is smart in some subjects, and I am smart in others, together we fit together perfectly and compliment each other. I don’t feel threatened by her knowledge of subjects I know little about, and I don’t think she feels threatened by my expertise in other areas. We are a team who are better together than either of us would be separately.

20 years and going :)


13 posted on 01/11/2014 7:52:26 AM PST by TexasFreeper2009 (Obama lied .. the economy died.)
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To: B212

I watched my Son at his high school. He went to a small Christian high school. Even there, the girls made no attempt to interact with the boys. They had a prom, but it was just dress-up night for the girls. There was no dating in his class. The girls viewed the boys not as possible mates, but as competitors. Being number one in your class meant parents paying less tuition for college. The parents of the girls discouraged the girls from dating. Dating might distract the girls from their studies. I really enjoyed my high school days, but I think my Son just endured them. The parents of the girls can be proud of their daughters academic accomplishments. Maybe they can bounce those academic accomplishments on their knees in lieu of Grandkids.


14 posted on 01/11/2014 7:55:21 AM PST by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: OneWingedShark

If men were only better at sympathizing!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg


15 posted on 01/11/2014 7:56:01 AM PST by Jack Hydrazine (Pubbies = national collectivists; Dems = international collectivists; me = independent conservative)
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To: Jack Hydrazine

That was hilarious!


16 posted on 01/11/2014 8:04:58 AM PST by Nevadan
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To: B212

Hmmm...seems the 60’s worm may be turning


17 posted on 01/11/2014 8:14:03 AM PST by goodnesswins (R.I.P. Doherty, Smith, Stevens, Woods.)
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To: B212

Fact: men are supposed to be the active, worldly-wise, agressive ones. When a woman tries to act like she thinks men should, men no longer find her attractive. Some other women do, and we have a name for that.


18 posted on 01/11/2014 8:15:43 AM PST by I want the USA back (Media: completely irresponsible traitors. Complicit in the destruction of our country.)
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To: B212; All

I was raised old school southern gentleman,
You always said yes ma’am and no ma’am, treated women with respect, opened doors for them, pulled out their chairs for them, complimented them and meant it, went out of your way to do things for them, and never thought about getting physically violent with a woman. It was a code of chivalry in a way, sadly when I left the home town I was raised in I found out that my “quaint and antiquated” behavior was an opening to be mocked and ridiculed not only by the “woman” who I was going out with but by everybody else. I found out that it was unacceptable for me to open a door for a lady, or pull out her chair for her at a restaurant, or to do many of the things I had been taught were right and proper to do for the fairer sex.
So I stopped. I became a hard and bitter male, women were just there to be greedy, selfish and malevolent pains in my ass. They did not want a “knight in somewhat rusted and dented armor” who would treat them with respect. They wanted someone who they could use as a doormat.
I asked myself why I should go out of my way to be treated like dirt. And I feel that a number of guys feel the same way. This has spread through the male community because the women have lets us know in no uncertain terms they are as fully capable as we are to do anything we can do. Fine. Now women are bitching they are not treated like women. What the hell do you want?
You can’t have it both ways; you can’t beat a dog every day for no reason and then expect it to come to you for affection. Either you accept the fact that you are a woman and behave like one. Not some money grubbing, gold digging, spoiled little bitch, but a woman. Or you accept the fact you are not going to be treated like a woman and shown the courtesy that you used to be shown and embrace the fact you now have what you wanted, equality.
For myself, I have found and old school girl who like how I was raised and appreciates that I love her and would do anything for her. I wish everyone success in their hunt for a mate, I have mine.


19 posted on 01/11/2014 8:19:05 AM PST by SouthernBoyupNorth ("For my wings are made of Tungsten, my flesh of glass and steel..........")
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To: conservative cat

I completely agree. It goes both ways. Women are being raised to be “independent”, this means they often don’t even respect men (”men are pigs”) to begin with. They’re also taught to be sexually “liberated”, only to be used like dogs by men who are quite happy with that philosophy (really, who’s in favor of abortion more? It’s men). Feminism has nothing to do with equality, more like superiority.

The men, well, I agree...they’re pigs :) ...but I’ll argue that a young man growing up is only seeing an over sexualized pop culture where women aren’t respecting themselves, why should men then? Many are lacking fathers, often because of our divorce rate, and are not learning how to be real men.

I do blame feminism for much of it, along with the “me” culture in general. It’s full of lies and has mislead many women from embracing a life that can bring true joy, a selfish life doesn’t. I see a lot of married, working, women thinking “the grass is greener elsewhere” and committing adultery, it seems to happen once they make more than their husband...as they then “don’t need him”, “I deserve better”, etc.. Instead they make bad decisions and wonder why their life doesn’t get better.

It’s a bit of a catch-22 in terms of how to fix both men and women. Although if women were more feminine and made men “work for it” a bit more we’d see the attitude of men change too. I don’t mean to dump on women, we all created this mess. I just know, as a man, if a woman doesn’t behave in a manner a man can respect - he won’t, not that he shouldn’t.

That said, a woman has the power to either make a good strong man, or a sniveling wimp. It’s true, behind every great man is a great woman. We do not prize our women as we should, they should be treated with dignity and respect...but it’s hard to do with so many that are just potty mouthed, aggressive trash. No man wants that, although we’re hypocrites in encouraging it to “get the milk” without having to “buy the cow”.

If I had one wish, it’d be that much of the entertainment industry be recognized for exploiting children...much of what they produce is directly, purposefully, opposite of messages parents would rather their children absorb. Does art just imitate life or the reverse? I say it’s both...and it amplifies over time. We can now see disgusting behavior across generations, people are confused about why we ever had “moral codes”.

...anyway, this has become a long response :) I just know that a man can take a lot and do a lot, he really just wants *one* thing from a woman....and that’s respect (more so than sex imo). Unfortunately, as woman are “empowered” they often see this as “wearing the pants” and care more about their authority than showing any respect....turning their man (and/or male children) into the sniveling kind. It’s a shame, we’re all capable of treating each other much better than we do....but in this culture I only see it spiraling downward :(


20 posted on 01/11/2014 8:21:05 AM PST by fuzzylogic (welfare state = sharing consequences of poor moral choices among everybody)
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To: Jack Hydrazine

LOL - The nail vid.
Thanks for reminding me about it.


21 posted on 01/11/2014 8:23:19 AM PST by OneWingedShark (Q: Why am I here? A: To do Justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.)
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To: The Sons of Liberty

Anna Pasternak?

22 posted on 01/11/2014 8:32:34 AM PST by eCSMaster ("It is not the color of his skin, ... it is the blackness that fills his soul")
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To: fuzzylogic

Your comments reminded me of a very funny book: Men Are Pigs and Deserve to Die by Sonya Steinem. It is temporarily out of stock on Amazon, but worth reading if you get a chance someday. (BTW, “Sonya” is actually a man)


23 posted on 01/11/2014 8:36:49 AM PST by Nevadan
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To: Balding_Eagle

A lot of people nowadays, both men and women, seem to confuse “smart” with “snarky”. Just like they keep confusing “confidence” with “arrogance.” Then, when they try to look smart and confident, they end up acting like rude pigs, because they wouldn’t know real intelligence or confidence if it walked up and smacked them.


24 posted on 01/11/2014 8:58:15 AM PST by Ellendra ("Laws were most numerous when the Commonwealth was most corrupt." -Tacitus)
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To: Ellendra

Yes, that’s a good point.


25 posted on 01/11/2014 9:09:13 AM PST by Balding_Eagle (Damn ObamaCare, full speed ahead!)
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To: yefragetuwrabrumuy
“1) As David Attenborough might say, “In the human species, the female is biologically compelled to ‘display’ herself, in competition with other females, to attract male suitors. Likewise, the male is attuned to recognize and respond to such displays. The female can then select among suitors a preferred mate.””.....

I guess that is what Pasternak, is saying....women today, are not displaying any receptiveness towards the male...with her examples, she was dating a Doctor, for sure he would have all the male attractiveness a female would desire...

26 posted on 01/11/2014 9:23:25 AM PST by B212
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To: conservative cat

yes.....well, the old story....which came first the chicken or the egg.....who makes the first move, it is usually the female who signals her interest....the male can dance around showing off his plume, but it is the female, who smiles and gives a hint of interest....and this is where today’s women are missing in action....


27 posted on 01/11/2014 9:28:45 AM PST by B212
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To: B212
So I embarked on a psychological make-over to see if I could fast-track my femininity.

Only a "feminist" could believe there was a "fast-track" to femininity.

28 posted on 01/11/2014 10:32:49 AM PST by Col Freeper (FR: A smorgasbord of Conservative Mindfood - dig in and enjoy it!)
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To: B212

To provide ‘beta’ men an incentive to produce far more economic output than needed just to support themselves while simultaneously controlling the hypergamy of women that would deprive children of interaction with their biological fathers, all major religions constructed an institution to force constructive conduct out of both genders while penalizing the natural primate tendencies of each. This institution was known as ‘marriage’. Societies that enforced monogamous marriage made sure all beta men had wives, thus unlocking productive output out of these men who in pre-modern times would have had no incentive to be productive. Women, in turn, received a provider, a protector, and higher social status than unmarried women, who often were trapped in poverty. When applied over an entire population of humans, this system was known as ‘civilization’.

All societies that achieved great advances and lasted for multiple centuries followed this formula with very little deviation, and it is quite remarkable how similar the nature of monogamous marriage was across seemingly diverse cultures. Societies that deviated from this were quickly replaced. This ‘contract’ between the sexes was advantageous to beta men, women over the age of 35, and children, but greatly curbed the activities of alpha men and women under 35 (together, a much smaller group than the former one). Conversely, the pre-civilized norm of alpha men monopolizing 3 or more young women each, replacing aging ones with new ones, while the masses of beta men fight over a tiny supply of surplus/aging women, was chaotic and unstable, leaving beta men violent and unproductive, and aging mothers discarded by their alpha mates now vulnerable to poverty. So what happens when the traditional controls of civilization are lifted from both men and women? - excerpt from the misandry bubble.

http://www.singularity2050.com/2010/01/the-misandry-bubble.html


29 posted on 01/11/2014 10:55:39 AM PST by woodro43
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To: goodnesswins

In the 60s, females were great, it was the 70s when females turned on themselves and the human race, in partnership with government and media and the left (and something that few know, business).


30 posted on 01/11/2014 10:57:20 AM PST by ansel12 ( Ben Bradlee -- JFK told me that "he was all for people's solving their problems by abortion".)
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To: SouthernBoyupNorth

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I will either be single for life or get the woman I want. I’ve had plenty of that other type and it ain’t worth it buddy.

And for those women who act like men, they get treated like men. I treat everyone fair but take no BS. If they challenge me and bring the attitude, and they are wrong, they get rolled.

Of course, those kind of women can’t handle opposition and fold like a tent because they’re used to getting their way. My attitude is that they’ll live.


31 posted on 01/11/2014 11:02:12 AM PST by Free Vulcan (Vote Republican! You can vote Democrat when you're dead...)
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To: B212

I always got a kick out of the women who claim men are intimidated by smart powerful women. No honey. It’s because you are a bitch.


32 posted on 01/11/2014 1:02:49 PM PST by Organic Panic
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To: Organic Panic

Soft-looking, dumb women can be bitches, too.


33 posted on 01/11/2014 2:25:46 PM PST by informavoracious (Root for Obamacare and healthcare.gov failure!)
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To: B212

This article is waving the red flag in front of the feminazi bulls. Explosion expected soon....


34 posted on 01/11/2014 3:07:38 PM PST by Jabba the Nutt (You can have a free country or government schools. Choose one.)
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To: Free Vulcan

I was in my 20’s during the 70’s.....and a professional woman, divorced, mom, too.....I couldn’t believe the women who acted like men...wearing ties....bragging about having their secretaries do their personal checkbook balancing....I hated the 70’s....there were a lot of vile men, too...


35 posted on 01/11/2014 4:01:08 PM PST by goodnesswins (R.I.P. Doherty, Smith, Stevens, Woods.)
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