Skip to comments.Why competing with men has left women out of touch with their feminine side
Posted on 01/11/2014 6:45:03 AM PST by B212
Recently, the media has been awash with articles suggesting that career women are to relationships what garlic is to a vampire - the kiss of death.
We're unable to sustain meaningful unions, apparently, because men are intimidated by our intellect, threatened by our higher earning potential and turned off by our controlling, capable, yet powerful personalities.
Two years ago I went to dinner with a doctor who told me that I 'wasn't in touch with my femininity' as I 'didn't flirt or wear much make-up'.
His diagnosis also included the undeniable fact that I was in 'acute need of affection'.
'It's amazing how being at one with your body puts you more instinctively in touch with your physical self-esteem.'
The most valuable lesson I've gained has been to wear the clothes I enjoy, instead of saving them for best.
Interestingly, I've had more comments on my appearance lately. I'm beginning to see that femininity is like a flower. Water it by paying attention and it will blossom.
Next, I went to see renowned cosmetic surgeon Dr Jean-Louis Sebagh.
Responsible for some of the most beautiful faces in the world, including Cindy Crawford, he is nicknamed the Botox King.
He had just returned from Russia, where he took part in a documentary on the subject of women and femininity.
'Russian women don't have that hardness of women in England and America,' he said.
'They get their men because they are extremely feminine and they listen to their men, yet they are not regressive. They have managed to hold on to an old-fashioned prettiness.
'In contrast, most of the women I see in Europe have become warriors. They are feisty and aggressive.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
One HR Clinton, aka Madam Benghazi, is a perfect example of some of the most un-feminine "women" you could find, and perfectly represents most dem "women".
Feminists teach women that work and careers are “exciting” and “challenging” and “rewarding”, even “fun”. HAHAHAHAHA! Men were off having a party at work (like in Mad Men), while women were suffering at home. That is the essential premise of feminism. A lie.
There are three pertinent factors at play, here.
1) As David Attenborough might say, “In the human species, the female is biologically compelled to ‘display’ herself, in competition with other females, to attract male suitors. Likewise, the male is attuned to recognize and respond to such displays. The female can then select among suitors a preferred mate.”
2) (Continuing with the Attenborough narration) “The prerogative of the many male mammals is to reproduce with as many females as possible; but females have the double prerogative to reproduce with the optimal male, but also to form a monogamous relationship with a ‘provider’ male to help raise her offspring. And when there is an abundance of males, it is unlikely to be the same male for both roles.
“However, the human species performs a mutually beneficial practice called ‘marriage’, that benefits both partners in a monogamous relationship, and most assuredly benefits their offspring.”
3) “However, there are many humans who are not optimally designed to mate, reproduce and raise children. This to a great extent may explain homosexuality, prostitution, and post-menopausal sexual activity; to prevent such ‘accessory people’ from interfering with breeding pairs.”
I am not saying this applies to most conservstive men raised the right way, but there is a lack of men who treat women like women and do their job as men. They can’t support their families, can’t fix things, can’t open doors, can’t gas up the car, put air in the tires, or do anything but act like lazy metro 12 year old boys. You want me to soften up? Treat me respectfully and like a woman. I act like a woman with men who treat me like one.
When I was single, I noticed that many powerful or professional women made themselves unapproachable, and then whined that they were not approached by any acceptible men.
At the same time men don’t really want to be around control-freak Feminazis.
Both sides need to treat each other better.
Put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
And go out to the car and change the tyre.
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe,
And then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire, babe,
And come and tell me why you’re leaving me.
Now don’t I let you wash the car on Sunday?
Don’t I warn you when you’re gettin fat?
Ain’t I a-gonna take you fishin’ with me someday?
Well, a man can’t love a woman more than that.
Ain’t I always nice to your kid sister?
Don’t I take her driving every night?
So, sit here at my feet ‘cos I like you when you’re sweet,
And you know it ain’t feminine to fight.
Me too. This woman may be turned in the right direction, but she's still a little lost in a fantasy world.
What man doesn't want to be matched up with a smart woman? It's just that there aren't that many around, most have allowed themselves to be mislead to think they are, but they are just trying to bluff their way through it.
when women were taught to act like men, why weren’t they taught to act like nice men?
Good point; but in the "big picture" (that is, societally) men aren't appreciated for their "male attributes".
A good example would be the "male" tendency toward logical thinking; which is not appreciated in the societal realms it once was. Law, for example, is full of logical inconsistency, and to challenge this inconsistency you are often forced to do so as a defendant (a position of weakness) rather than allowed to challenge it as a peer — Example: New Mexico's State Constitution flatly prohibits counties and municipalities from restricting "an incident of the right to keep and bear arms", yet there are many county and municipal courthouses which prohibit weapons inside.
Intellect can take many forms.
My wife is smart in some subjects, and I am smart in others, together we fit together perfectly and compliment each other. I don’t feel threatened by her knowledge of subjects I know little about, and I don’t think she feels threatened by my expertise in other areas. We are a team who are better together than either of us would be separately.
20 years and going :)
I watched my Son at his high school. He went to a small Christian high school. Even there, the girls made no attempt to interact with the boys. They had a prom, but it was just dress-up night for the girls. There was no dating in his class. The girls viewed the boys not as possible mates, but as competitors. Being number one in your class meant parents paying less tuition for college. The parents of the girls discouraged the girls from dating. Dating might distract the girls from their studies. I really enjoyed my high school days, but I think my Son just endured them. The parents of the girls can be proud of their daughters academic accomplishments. Maybe they can bounce those academic accomplishments on their knees in lieu of Grandkids.
If men were only better at sympathizing!
That was hilarious!
Hmmm...seems the 60’s worm may be turning
Fact: men are supposed to be the active, worldly-wise, agressive ones. When a woman tries to act like she thinks men should, men no longer find her attractive. Some other women do, and we have a name for that.
I was raised old school southern gentleman,
You always said yes maam and no maam, treated women with respect, opened doors for them, pulled out their chairs for them, complimented them and meant it, went out of your way to do things for them, and never thought about getting physically violent with a woman. It was a code of chivalry in a way, sadly when I left the home town I was raised in I found out that my quaint and antiquated behavior was an opening to be mocked and ridiculed not only by the woman who I was going out with but by everybody else. I found out that it was unacceptable for me to open a door for a lady, or pull out her chair for her at a restaurant, or to do many of the things I had been taught were right and proper to do for the fairer sex.
So I stopped. I became a hard and bitter male, women were just there to be greedy, selfish and malevolent pains in my ass. They did not want a knight in somewhat rusted and dented armor who would treat them with respect. They wanted someone who they could use as a doormat.
I asked myself why I should go out of my way to be treated like dirt. And I feel that a number of guys feel the same way. This has spread through the male community because the women have lets us know in no uncertain terms they are as fully capable as we are to do anything we can do. Fine. Now women are bitching they are not treated like women. What the hell do you want?
You cant have it both ways; you cant beat a dog every day for no reason and then expect it to come to you for affection. Either you accept the fact that you are a woman and behave like one. Not some money grubbing, gold digging, spoiled little bitch, but a woman. Or you accept the fact you are not going to be treated like a woman and shown the courtesy that you used to be shown and embrace the fact you now have what you wanted, equality.
For myself, I have found and old school girl who like how I was raised and appreciates that I love her and would do anything for her. I wish everyone success in their hunt for a mate, I have mine.
I completely agree. It goes both ways. Women are being raised to be “independent”, this means they often don’t even respect men (”men are pigs”) to begin with. They’re also taught to be sexually “liberated”, only to be used like dogs by men who are quite happy with that philosophy (really, who’s in favor of abortion more? It’s men). Feminism has nothing to do with equality, more like superiority.
The men, well, I agree...they’re pigs :) ...but I’ll argue that a young man growing up is only seeing an over sexualized pop culture where women aren’t respecting themselves, why should men then? Many are lacking fathers, often because of our divorce rate, and are not learning how to be real men.
I do blame feminism for much of it, along with the “me” culture in general. It’s full of lies and has mislead many women from embracing a life that can bring true joy, a selfish life doesn’t. I see a lot of married, working, women thinking “the grass is greener elsewhere” and committing adultery, it seems to happen once they make more than their husband...as they then “don’t need him”, “I deserve better”, etc.. Instead they make bad decisions and wonder why their life doesn’t get better.
It’s a bit of a catch-22 in terms of how to fix both men and women. Although if women were more feminine and made men “work for it” a bit more we’d see the attitude of men change too. I don’t mean to dump on women, we all created this mess. I just know, as a man, if a woman doesn’t behave in a manner a man can respect - he won’t, not that he shouldn’t.
That said, a woman has the power to either make a good strong man, or a sniveling wimp. It’s true, behind every great man is a great woman. We do not prize our women as we should, they should be treated with dignity and respect...but it’s hard to do with so many that are just potty mouthed, aggressive trash. No man wants that, although we’re hypocrites in encouraging it to “get the milk” without having to “buy the cow”.
If I had one wish, it’d be that much of the entertainment industry be recognized for exploiting children...much of what they produce is directly, purposefully, opposite of messages parents would rather their children absorb. Does art just imitate life or the reverse? I say it’s both...and it amplifies over time. We can now see disgusting behavior across generations, people are confused about why we ever had “moral codes”.
...anyway, this has become a long response :) I just know that a man can take a lot and do a lot, he really just wants *one* thing from a woman....and that’s respect (more so than sex imo). Unfortunately, as woman are “empowered” they often see this as “wearing the pants” and care more about their authority than showing any respect....turning their man (and/or male children) into the sniveling kind. It’s a shame, we’re all capable of treating each other much better than we do....but in this culture I only see it spiraling downward :(