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'Swiss Cheese Pervert' arrested, cops say
NBC News ^ | 1/17/14 | David Chang, Dan Stamm, Kelly Bayliss

Posted on 01/17/2014 2:15:04 AM PST by Libloather

Police say they have arrested the so-called “Swiss Cheese Pervert,” the man accused of using Swiss cheese to sexually proposition women in the Philadelphia area.

Christopher Pagano was arrested at his home on Noble Street in Norristown on Thursday afternoon as part of a joint investigation between Philadelphia and Norristown Police, officials tell NBC10 Philadelphia.

The 41-year-old has allegedly been spotted driving up to women and asking them if they would like to get paid to see him put Swiss cheese on his genitals.

(Excerpt) Read more at usnews.nbcnews.com ...


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Extended News; Government; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: cheese; cops; moose; napl; pervert; swiss
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"He was a weirdo," neighbor Rae Dean told NBC10's Deanna Durante. "He used to come outside in his underwear with no shirt."

In the winter? Yeah, that's pretty strange.

1 posted on 01/17/2014 2:15:05 AM PST by Libloather
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To: Libloather

A lot of holes in this story.


2 posted on 01/17/2014 2:22:02 AM PST by Ken H (What happens on the internet, stays on the internet.)
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To: Libloather

I wanna know how much he offered to pay a prospective voyeur.

Hey *shrug* I’m not proud.


3 posted on 01/17/2014 2:25:49 AM PST by Titan Magroyne (What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.)
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To: Libloather

Sounds like a tatic better suited to Wisconsin than Pennsylvania.


4 posted on 01/17/2014 2:39:04 AM PST by MAexile (Bats left, votes right)
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To: Libloather

Must have thought because he was in a ‘Rat stronghold, his cheese ploy would work.


5 posted on 01/17/2014 2:47:31 AM PST by fso301
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To: Libloather

Seems like it might be a way to sexually proposition a mouse or a rat, not a woman.


6 posted on 01/17/2014 2:56:43 AM PST by ETL (ALL (most?) of the Obama-commie connections at my FR Home page: http://www.freerepublic.com/~etl/)
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To: Libloather

When did this become illegal?


7 posted on 01/17/2014 3:07:26 AM PST by Jimmy4Toes
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To: Libloather

Sounds rather tame to me. On the other hand if it was a bubbling pot of nacho cheese I might throw him buck as an incentive.


8 posted on 01/17/2014 3:10:18 AM PST by WinMod70
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To: Libloather

I have heard that some people prefer using cheddar.


9 posted on 01/17/2014 3:10:27 AM PST by AEMILIUS PAULUS (It is a shame that when these people give a riot)
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To: AEMILIUS PAULUS

Head cheese?


10 posted on 01/17/2014 3:15:14 AM PST by eCSMaster ("It is not the color of his skin, ... it is the blackness that fills his soul")
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To: AEMILIUS PAULUS

If anyone is looking for a good cheese shop, avoid this one...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJhq9eq_eJg


11 posted on 01/17/2014 3:26:50 AM PST by ETL (ALL (most?) of the Obama-commie connections at my FR Home page: http://www.freerepublic.com/~etl/)
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To: Libloather

12 posted on 01/17/2014 3:41:17 AM PST by JoeProBono (SOME IMAGES MAY BE DISTURBING VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED;-{)
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To: Ken H

They should lock up this muenster for a long time.


13 posted on 01/17/2014 3:49:49 AM PST by needmorePaine
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To: Libloather

Daddy ?


14 posted on 01/17/2014 3:53:03 AM PST by fieldmarshaldj (Resist We Much)
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To: JoeProBono

I feel like a pretty boy after looking at that mug.


15 posted on 01/17/2014 3:54:00 AM PST by Anton.Rutter
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To: Libloather

Let me see if there is a scientific explanation for this:

Horny (heterosexual guy) + swiss cheese(EBT card) + spare time (extended unemployment benefits) = swiss cheese pervert.

Still doesn’t compute...oh well, maybe I should factor in global warming...Yes, I’m sure that’s what it is.

Thank you Mr. Gore.


16 posted on 01/17/2014 4:43:23 AM PST by Texicanus (Texas, it's a whole 'nother country.)
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To: Libloather

Was he propositioning them with a fondue?


17 posted on 01/17/2014 5:01:11 AM PST by Pearls Before Swine
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To: needmorePaine
"They should lock up this muenster for a long time."

LOL...good one. I almost bleu out my coffee!

Also, I was thinking if the holes in swiss cheese can accommodate your junk, it's really not anything to show off.

18 posted on 01/17/2014 5:04:32 AM PST by Mich Patriot (PITCH BLACK is the new "transparent")
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To: eCSMaster

Cheese Wiz.


19 posted on 01/17/2014 5:07:05 AM PST by Flick Lives (Got a problem with the government? Have a complaint. Get a free IRS audit!)
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To: Mich Patriot; needmorePaine

“They should lock up this muenster for a long time.
LOL...good one. I almost bleu out my coffee!”

Gouda ones...


20 posted on 01/17/2014 5:10:21 AM PST by areukiddingme1 (areukiddingme1 is a synonym for a Retired U.S. Navy Chief Petty Officer and tired of liberal BS.))
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To: Mich Patriot
Also, I was thinking if the holes in swiss cheese can accommodate your junk, it's really not anything to show off.

Gives new meaning to pecorino cheese.
21 posted on 01/17/2014 5:12:29 AM PST by needmorePaine
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To: JoeProBono

If this is the guy, I am pretty sure he hasn’t seen his own member except in a mirror. What a slob.


22 posted on 01/17/2014 5:15:14 AM PST by healy61
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To: Ken H
A lot of holes in this story.

Clever..thanks for the laugh!

23 posted on 01/17/2014 5:35:30 AM PST by mac_truck ( Aide toi et dieu t aidera)
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To: JoeProBono

picture looks like porkey pig.


24 posted on 01/17/2014 5:37:21 AM PST by bikerman (Obama! if his lips are moving he's lying.)
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To: Libloather

Philadelphia, eh?

Looks like this was heading toward cream cheese.


25 posted on 01/17/2014 5:48:44 AM PST by DickBrannigan (When did logic become reversed, and right became wrong, and wrong became right?)
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To: Libloather

The LGBT crowd are going to have to change their title to:

LGBTCP (lesbian, gay, bisexual transgender and cheese perverts)


26 posted on 01/17/2014 6:00:14 AM PST by VRW Conspirator ( 2+2 = V)
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To: Slings and Arrows
So, does he have 4 or just 3 nostrils? ping
27 posted on 01/17/2014 6:09:44 AM PST by Clay Moore ("To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize." ~Voltaire)
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To: Clay Moore; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ...
What about the moose and sister perverts?


28 posted on 01/17/2014 8:58:55 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Anton.Rutter

He looks to be missing a chromosome or two.


29 posted on 01/17/2014 8:59:23 AM PST by Resolute Conservative
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To: Slings and Arrows

Limburgher...


30 posted on 01/17/2014 9:19:22 AM PST by Darksheare (Try my coffee, first one's free..... Even robots will kill for it!)
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To: MAexile
Sounds like a tatic better suited to Wisconsin than Pennsylvania.

Cheese head?

31 posted on 01/17/2014 9:30:48 AM PST by Larry Lucido (If you like your all your base, you can keep your all your base. - CATS)
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To: Libloather
It turns out that the freak was arrested for the same thing back in 2009. He was also arrested in 2006 for solicitation, not sure if cheese was involved in '06.

Here Are Mugshots of Alleged Swiss Cheese Pervert Chris Pagano

32 posted on 01/17/2014 9:32:40 AM PST by csvset
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To: JoeProBono

What is Rob Ford doing in Philly?


33 posted on 01/17/2014 9:34:14 AM PST by Rebelbase (Tagline: optional, printed after your name on post)
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To: Larry Lucido

He doesn’t know jack...


34 posted on 01/17/2014 9:36:31 AM PST by null and void (We need to shake this snowglobe up.)
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To: null and void; ETL

Venezuelan beaver cheese?


35 posted on 01/17/2014 9:45:34 AM PST by Larry Lucido (If you like your all your base, you can keep your all your base. - CATS)
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To: Libloather

Sounds like he should have called it “performance art” then had the NEA fund it.


36 posted on 01/17/2014 9:48:36 AM PST by OrangeHoof (2001-2008: "Dissent Is Patriotism!" 2009-2016: "Dissent Is Racism!")
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To: Larry Lucido

C: Greek Feta?

O: Uh, not as such.

C: Uuh, Gorgonzola?

O: No

C: Parmesan?

O: No

C: Mozzarella?

O: No

C: Pippo Creme?

O: No

C: Danish Fimboe?

O: No

C: Czech sheep’s milk?

O: No

C: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?

O: Not -today-, sir, no.

(pause)

C: Aah, how about Cheddar?

O: Well, we don’t get much call for it around here, sir.

C: Not much ca—It’s the single most popular cheese in the world!

O: Not ‘round here, sir.

C: (slight pause) and what IS the most popular cheese ‘round hyah?

O: ‘Illchester, sir.

C: IS it.

O: Oh, yes, it’s staggeringly popular in this manusquire.

C: Is it.

O: It’s our number one best seller, sir!

C: I see. Uuh... ‘Illchester, eh?

O: Right, sir.

C: All right. Okay. ‘Have you got any?’ He asked, expecting the answer ‘no’.

O: I’ll have a look, sir.. nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.

C: It’s not much of a cheese shop, is it?

O: Finest in the district sir!

C: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.

O: Well, it’s so clean, sir!

C: It’s certainly uncontaminated by cheese.

http://www.montypython.net/scripts/cheese.php


37 posted on 01/17/2014 9:51:54 AM PST by ETL (ALL (most?) of the Obama-commie connections at my FR Home page: http://www.freerepublic.com/~etl/)
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To: Rebelbase

38 posted on 01/17/2014 9:55:03 AM PST by JoeProBono (SOME IMAGES MAY BE DISTURBING VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED;-{)
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To: ETL; null and void

Norm MacDonald skit on luring women with cheese sandwiches.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNEgYb34LaI


39 posted on 01/17/2014 10:02:58 AM PST by Larry Lucido (If you like your all your base, you can keep your all your base. - CATS)
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To: areukiddingme1

I camembert all these cheesy puns!


40 posted on 01/17/2014 10:04:15 AM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: Resolute Conservative

Or maybe he has an extra one.


41 posted on 01/17/2014 10:04:52 AM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: ETL

Well, I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to shoot you.


42 posted on 01/17/2014 10:05:37 AM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers

C: (slowly) Have you got any Limburger?

O: No.

C: Figures. Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place....... Tell me:

O: Yessir?

C: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any cheese here at all?

O: Yes,sir.

C: Really?

(pause)

O: No. Not really, sir.

C: You haven’t.

O: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time,sir.

C: Well I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to shoot you.

O: Right-0, sir.

(The customer takes out a gun and shoots the shopkeeper)

C: What a senseless waste of human life.

http://www.montypython.net/scripts/cheese.php


43 posted on 01/17/2014 10:13:44 AM PST by ETL (ALL (most?) of the Obama-commie connections at my FR Home page: http://www.freerepublic.com/~etl/)
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To: ETL

This is my favorite excerpt from the sketch:

C: It’s not much of a cheese shop, is it?

O: Finest in the district sir!

C: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.

O: Well, it’s so clean, sir!

C: It’s certainly uncontaminated by cheese.


44 posted on 01/17/2014 10:18:39 AM PST by william clark (Ecclesiastes 10:2)
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To: william clark

This one is mine, although they’ve seemed to have replaced a line with one that uses the f-word. I’ve replaced it with the word that is used on the DVD, and when it airs on TV, also on YouTube. I don’t recall ever hearing the f-word in this sketch.

C: Camembert, perhaps?

O: Ah! We have Camembert, yessir.

C: (suprised) You do! Excellent.

O: Yessir. It’s ah... it’s a bit runny.

C: Oh, I like it runny.

O: Well,.. It’s very runny, actually, sir.

C: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah!

O: I...think it’s a bit runnier than you’ll like it, sir.

C: I don’t care how [excrementally] runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.

O: Oooooooooohhh........! (pause)

C: What now?

O: The cat’s eaten it.

C: (pause) Has he?

O: She, sir.

(pause)

C: Gouda?

O: No.

C: Edam?

O: No.

C: Caithness?

O: No.


45 posted on 01/17/2014 10:27:32 AM PST by ETL (ALL (most?) of the Obama-commie connections at my FR Home page: http://www.freerepublic.com/~etl/)
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To: Jimmy4Toes; a fool in paradise; Slings and Arrows
When did this become illegal?

Mozzarella is legal, Swiss is illegal. Get thou with the program! (Shown below, mozzarella balls.)


46 posted on 01/17/2014 10:31:44 AM PST by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious! We reserve the right to serve refuse to anyone!)
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To: ETL

I think the F-word version may be on the record album (Matching Tie and Handkerchief, as I recall). If not, it would seem to have occurred in the Live at the Hollywood Bowl version, but I don’t recall that sketch having been performed there. They certainly used it in that performance’s version of the albatross bit.


47 posted on 01/17/2014 10:45:59 AM PST by william clark (Ecclesiastes 10:2)
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To: Libloather; a fool in paradise


48 posted on 01/17/2014 10:49:49 AM PST by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious! We reserve the right to serve refuse to anyone!)
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To: william clark

That was actually my favorite line of the entire sketch. I wouldn’t have thought it nearly as funny with the f-word.

“I don’t care how [excrementally] runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.”


49 posted on 01/17/2014 10:59:38 AM PST by ETL (ALL (most?) of the Obama-commie connections at my FR Home page: http://www.freerepublic.com/~etl/)
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To: JoeProBono

Must be a big hunk of Swiss he’s working on.


50 posted on 01/17/2014 11:28:37 AM PST by Rebelbase (Tagline: optional, printed after your name on post)
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