Skip to comments.Obama's State of the Onion Smells
Posted on 01/22/2014 6:43:38 AM PST by Kaslin
Lets never forget: Millions of Americans who work hard and play by the rules every day deserve a government and a financial system that does the same. Its time to apply the same rules from top to bottom: no bailouts, no handouts, and no cop-outs. An America built to last insists on responsibility from everybody. Except for me. - Paraphrase from president Obamas 2012 State of the Union
Prepare ye the way for Obama's next State of the Onion speech. By pulling out a TV guide.
Radio host Mark Levin has called on the GOP to boycott the State of the Onion address as a protest against those who "will not use U.S. Constitution to defend this nation, since they will not use the Constitution to confront a lawless president."
I think everyone ought to boycott it.
Judging by previous State of the Onion addresses, Im recommending that this year, on January 28th, viewers switch over to other shows that might offer a bit more drama and a bit more artistry.
And a lot fewer laugh lines. Oh, and honesty too.
Quality substitutes might be shows like the Vegan Cooking Show, or My Grandmother's Ravioli, or Bad Girls All Star Battle on Oxygen, or Anything Goes With Rick & Shawn on QVC, which bills itself as Behind the scenes at QVC with hosts Rick Domeier and Shawn Killinger, who also feature interactive segments and (of course) offer products.
Imagine people offering products for money in search of profits on T.V.
Next thing you know, job creation will break out.
That would actually be a big improvement on the presidents usual tone-deaf recitation of Its-Not-My-Fault and Yes-We-Can-Raise-Taxes and No-We-Cant-Create-Jobs litany in his State of the Onion.
Anyway all you really need to know is that no matter what the smell created that night the New York Times will praise the speech effusively like Obamas a child who just painted a refrigerator-worthy cow, or airplane or what-not depending on how hard you squint and page orientation.
Kind of like this:
We gather tonight knowing that this generation of heroes has made the United States safer and more respected around the world. Just kidding. HA! I squandered it. For the first time in nine years, there are no Americans fighting in Iraq but the country has now been destabilized by Al Qaeda through my foolish support of them in Libya and Syria. For the first time in two decades, Osama bin Laden is not a threat to this country, although in retrospect Bush was right that bin Laden never mattered that much. Most of al Qaedas top lieutenants have been defeated, except in places where they are winning, like Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, Libya and most of the rest of the Middle East. The Talibans momentum has been broken, and some troops in Afghanistan have begun to come home. Just kidding here too. Ha ha ha.- Paraphrase from president Obamas 2012 State of the Union
On the other hand, if laughter is what you're after, the Simpsons Movie is on twice that night.
Raise your hand if you think Homer Simpson would make a better president than Barack Obama.
Also showing on the 28th on IFC is Cheech and Chongs Animated Movie followed by their classic Up In Smoke featuring the song Mexican American by Cheech Marin, which might be the last time Americans were legally allowed to laugh at themselves.
CHEECH AND CHONG- MEXICAN AMERICANS *HQ*
Each of these proposals deserves a vote in Congress. Now, if you want to vote no, thats your choice. But these proposals deserve a vote, except for the ones Im against which Senate Majority Harry Reid will scuttle in the Senate even though they passed the House. - Paraphrase from president Obamas 2013 State of the Union
Then of course there is sports programming too that competes directly with the presidential white wash thats disguised as the annual report from the executive to Congress.
A repeat of the 2013 Phoenix Open is showing, along with Friday Night Tykes, a reality show about Daddyball in Texas on Friday nights. FoxSports NFL writer Andy Nesbitt calls it the most depressing show on television. It depicts the bad behavior of coaches, parents and kids who play youth football.
But in fairness to Daddyball reality TV, Nesbitt never saw the 2014 State of the Onion address.
I for one, expect it to stink.
Right now, overlapping regulations keep responsible young families from buying their first home. Whats holding us back? Lets streamline the process, and help our economy grow. I know I signed more restrictions on homeownership than any American ever, but come on America. Get used to cleaning up after my messes. - Paraphrase from president Obamas 2013 State of the Union
We wont grow the middle class simply by shifting the cost of health care or college onto families that are already struggling, or by forcing communities to lay off more teachers and more cops and more firefighters. No, well do those things of course. But we will also have to steal $300,000 more in entitlement spending for my generation by making the youngest generation, the ones having the toughest time finding good jobs right now, take on $400,000 of debt that theyll have to pay off during their working lifetimes. - Paraphrase from president Obamas 2013 State of the Union
And if sports, comedy, shopping, cooking and reality TV dont work, theres always the snow channel --or the ant races-- as an alternative to Obamas asinine, mendacious ramblings.
And if you know what ant races are, congrats: Youll be helping to steal $400,000 from your children and your childrens children if you dont act now.
Youve been warned. And no, its not a reality show.
It's just a reality.
Because if you dont act now to put a stop to this, this year, you stink, too.
We are poised for progress. Two years after the worst recession most of us have ever known, the stock market has come roaring back. Corporate profits are up. The economy is growing again. After that its kind of screwy. Being president is hard. Im still not sure what regulations have to do with killing jobs. But you know what? I dont need jobs anyway. I have a lifetime pension. Sometimes, when youve made enough, you dont have to worry about jobs. - Paraphrase from president Obamas 2011 State of the Union
Obama State of the Union: He got the ball rolling:
We are anything BUT a ‘union’. We are not united when nearly half of this country lives off the blood, sweat and treasure of productive citizens.
We are also not ‘united’ when that same near-half is hell bent on controlling the lifestyles, futures and very thoughts of us.
We are not ‘united’ one bit.
I like the idea of substituting comedy for the SoTU BS; if I were really into video editing I’d have a lot of fun adding a laugh track and video clips of audiences laughing uncontrollably at some of the more ridiculous parts of the so-called speech.
So true. This country has not been so fractured since just before the Civil War. Its in the air everywhere you go.
We are in a situation where about half of the country wants to go commie and the other half wants the constitutional republic back. Somebody has to win and somebody will have to sit down and STFU. It will not be resolved at the ballot box.
You know that we are in deep kimchee when the scum-suckers at CPUSA are openly cheering for that POS that is occupying OUR White House.
Welcome to Acirema, where everything is opposite of what it should be. Time for upside down flags.
Indeed we are not and that arrogant pos occupant of the Spite House made sure of it.
Yahoo search results for "Fundamentally Transforming The United States Of America":
"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek"-- BARACK OBAMA
From the website of the Communist Party, USA...
(prior to the election)
"The Communist Party USA views the 2008 elections as a tremendous opportunity to defeat the policies of the right-wing Republicans and to move our country in a new progressive direction.
The record turnout in the Democratic Presidential primary races shows that millions of voters, including millions of new voters, are using this election to bring about real change. We wholeheartedly agree with them."
After the election....
A Landslide Mandate For Change
A breakthrough election
Congratulations on an extraordinary history making election!
We can think back with pride to decades of hard work toward our strategic goal of a big enough, broad enough and united enough labor and all-peoples movement that could overcome the ultra-right blockage to all progress. That all peoples movement has come to life, it is dynamic and it has the potential to keep growing.
The election of Barack Obama and a strengthened Congress creates new conditions in our country. There is now the possibility to shift gears and move forward. This new day requires us to further develop our tactics in order to continue to deepen and broaden labor and peoples unity.
There are thousands of experiences that we all have had in these momentous days, some large, some small, all of which express the enormity of change in thinking and readiness for involvement that is underway and that steels us for the battles ahead.
The tears of joy we all shared as crowds gathered to watch the election results here and throughout the world dramatize the new moment we are in.
July 1, 2009...
Change is Here, Change is Coming
Sam Webb, National Chair, Communist Party, USA:
Let me begin with a simple observation: If the last 30 years were an era of reaction, then the coming decade could turn into an era of reform, even radical reform. Six months into the Obama presidency, I would say without hesitation that the landscape, atmosphere, conversation, and agenda have strikingly changed compared to the previous eight years.
In this legislative session, we can envision winning a Medicare-like public option and then going further in the years ahead.
We can visualize passing tough regulatory reforms on the financial industry, which brought the economy to ruin.
We can imagine the troops coming home from Iraq and Afghanistan while U.S. representatives participate in a regional process that brings peace and stability to the entire region.
In the current political climate, the expansion of union rights becomes a real possibility.
Much the same can be said about winning a second stimulus bill, and we sure need one, given the still-rising rate, and likely long term persistence, of unemployment.
Isnt it possible in the Obama era to create millions of green jobs in manufacturing and other sectors of the economy in tandem with an attack on global warming?
Cant we envision taking new strides in the long journey for racial and gender equality in this new era, marked at its beginning by the election of the first African American to the presidency?
And isnt the overhaul of the criminal justice and prison system a system steeped in racism no longer pie-in-the sky, but something that can be done in the foreseeable future?
All these things are within reach now!
"Barack Obama told supporters that
'change has come to America' as he
claimed victory in a historic presidential election."
Here is the Thank You letter Obama sent to his Hope & Change artist, Shepard Fairey:
"Dear Shepard, I would like to thank you for using your talent in support of my campaign. The political messages involved in your work have encouraged Americans to believe they can help change the status quo. Your images have a profound effect on people, whether seen in a gallery or on a stop sign. I am privileged to be a part of your artwork and proud to have your support. I wish you continued success and creativity.
Sincerely, Barack Obama.'"
Your images have a profound effect on people"--BH Obama
Other "images" by Fairey...
by Shepard Fairey
"Stalin Lenin", Shepard Fairey,
limited edition silkscreen, signed
and numbered. 18"X24" *SOLD OUT*
"The political messages involved in your work have encouraged Americans to believe they can help change the status quo. Your images have a profound effect on people"--Barack Hussein Obama, in his Thank You letter to Shepard Fairey
I know what I am going to do. I am going to watch movies in my VCR
I have read these pieces before and they are excellent!
I have said repeatedly that not a day passes where the late Senator Joe McCarthy isn’t Validated and Vindicated by the Obama Regime and those that support him.
My biggest question is just where do WE draw the line and put an end to this Anti-America Regime?
I haven’t watched a SOU in over 20 years. I can’t stomach the lies after the first “the state of the union is strong” statement.
Just looked at my schedule and I am lucky. I have to work until 10:30 or 11:00 that night! Heck, I would have rearranged my sock drawer if I did not have to work.
Sounds like unionism to me.
Well, yes, in the literal sense if you want to go that route. I don’t consider the typical labor ‘union’ liberals would have as anything being close to national unification. I’d say 180 degrees out, IMO
That and the fact that I can’t stand to see or hear Obama under any circumstance.
Next thing you know, job creation will break out.
Not with this regime per the WSJ real unemployment rate is at 37% only three more years for him to complete his goal.
They shouldn’t boycott it, they should all attend, but as soon as the puke starts talking, they should get up and march out single file as in the disciplinary hearing scene in ANIMAL HOUSE.
That way, I can read the description of his purple lips, bad makeup, and mysterious scars on his head (which, like his phony birth certificate, nobody wants to talk about) instead of actually having to see it.
I also won't have to watch all his sycophants cheering him like Mussolini and kissing him in the aisles while he struts through, or Juan McCain sitting next to his good-friend-across-the-aisle, Schmuck Schumer.
I won't have to listen to his condescending tones while he breaks into his Shitcago and phony-black-preacher argot scolding hard-working Americans for their selfishness and greed for not supporting his parasitic gibsmedat voters in high enough style.
Nor will I have to watch him lecturing us on "fairness", demanding we admit another 60 million amnestied turd worlders into this country to vote Demoncrat and apply for welfare benefits while the feckless GOP "leadership" cheers him on in bipartisan spirit.
I can tune out his lies about our "recovering" economy and the 40 million "new jobs" he has created and the lowest unemployment rate since George Bush even though we are in the depths of a hopeless depression.
I won't have to listen to his "great success" with making health care "affordable for all" while Democrats leap to their feet and cheer in the background.
I won't enjoy it, that's for sure.
But at least I may be able to endure it and perhaps not have to deal with stoke-level blood pressure.
I can’t stand listening to that arrogant pos
I’m with you!
As a matter of fact, I refuse to listen to any li(e)beral