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Phillip Morris Introduces Marlboro Marijuana Cigarettes (Satire)
Abril Uno ^ | January 21, 2014 | Akoy Ciraulo

Posted on 01/24/2014 4:25:46 PM PST by EveningStar

Phillip Morris, the world's biggest cigarette producer, announced today that they will join the marijuana legalization bandwagon and start producing marijuana cigarettes. Marketed under the brand "Marlboro M", the cigarettes will be made available for sale through marijuana-licensed outlets in the state of Colorado, and the state of Washington when it becomes commercially legal there later this year.

(Excerpt) Read more at abriluno.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: abriluno; cigarettes; marijuana; marlboro; phillipmorris; satire

1 posted on 01/24/2014 4:25:46 PM PST by EveningStar
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To: Slings and Arrows; martin_fierro

ping


2 posted on 01/24/2014 4:26:19 PM PST by EveningStar
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To: EveningStar

I hope they go down in a major bankrupcy!


3 posted on 01/24/2014 4:27:14 PM PST by afraidfortherepublic
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To: EveningStar

“Panama Reds”? “Acapulco Golds”?


4 posted on 01/24/2014 4:27:32 PM PST by Howie66 (Molon Labe, Traitors!)
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To: EveningStar

abriluno.com?


5 posted on 01/24/2014 4:27:43 PM PST by dfwgator
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To: EveningStar

I wouldn’t trust them not to add ingredients that “enhance the consumer experience”.


6 posted on 01/24/2014 4:27:55 PM PST by glorgau
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To: dfwgator

;)


7 posted on 01/24/2014 4:28:24 PM PST by EveningStar
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To: Howie66

“No stems, No seeds that you don’t need, Acapulco Gold is *psssssssssss*......bad ass weeeeeed.”


8 posted on 01/24/2014 4:28:29 PM PST by dfwgator
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To: EveningStar
Years ago, I said that marijuana would eventually be legalized when the tobacco companies wanted it legalized.

The Showtime cable TV series "Weeds" is coming true.

9 posted on 01/24/2014 4:29:12 PM PST by Publius ("Who is John Galt?" by Billthedrill and Publius now available at Amazon.)
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To: EveningStar

Abriluno is a fake news site, like the Onion.


10 posted on 01/24/2014 4:29:40 PM PST by Dr. Sivana (The only thing that can save us is if Kerry wins the Nobel prize and leaves us alone.--Moshe Yaalon)
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To: EveningStar
It's a few months early...

/johnny

11 posted on 01/24/2014 4:29:57 PM PST by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: EveningStar

I used to joke and fantasize about this back in the 70s. Now, it has come to pass. Commercially manufactured Doobies. I said back then, they needed a filter. Too late. Now, I don’t smoke anything, my lungs wont like it and will get even with me weeks later.


12 posted on 01/24/2014 4:30:02 PM PST by lee martell
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To: Howie66

Old Acapulco Gold.


13 posted on 01/24/2014 4:30:27 PM PST by ROCKLOBSTER (Celebrate "Republicans Freed the Slaves" Month.)
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Smells like satire...

But quite the conundrum for the radicals that fought Big Tobaccy.


14 posted on 01/24/2014 4:31:10 PM PST by Gene Eric (Don't be a statist!)
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To: EveningStar
In Viet Nam you could take a carton of Salem and a carton of any other brand and mamason would get a carton of your brand filled with wacko weed for the carton of Salem. Cigarets went up when I got there form $1.00 to $1.10 and many said they would quit smoking if they went up to $1.25.
15 posted on 01/24/2014 4:31:23 PM PST by mountainlion (Live well for those that did not make it back.)
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To: Howie66

No, labrador, maaaan.


16 posted on 01/24/2014 4:31:38 PM PST by Irenic (The pencil sharpener and Elmer's glue is put away-- we've lost the red wheelbarrow)
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To: Dr. Sivana

17 posted on 01/24/2014 4:31:54 PM PST by EveningStar
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To: afraidfortherepublic
Did you note the last para: "Phillip Morris shares hit an all-time high on the marijuana news and shot up to $998.00 from $83.03 just a few hours after the announcement went public."

BTW, don't forget to read the "fine print" in large font:

Tags: fake news, fictional news, marijuana, marlboro, morris, phillip, satire, spoof


18 posted on 01/24/2014 4:32:08 PM PST by Perseverando (Obamanation: It's ALL about PEOPLE CONTROL!)
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To: EveningStar

Marlboro stocks to surge.


19 posted on 01/24/2014 4:33:16 PM PST by umgud (2A can't survive dem majorities)
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To: EveningStar

Never ask the guy with the flame thrower for a light.

NEVER!!


20 posted on 01/24/2014 4:33:20 PM PST by mountainlion (Live well for those that did not make it back.)
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To: Gene Eric

Abril Uno is a satire site. Abril Uno = April 1 - April Fools Day.


21 posted on 01/24/2014 4:34:12 PM PST by EveningStar
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To: Perseverando

LOLOLOL! Hit my hot button!


22 posted on 01/24/2014 4:34:38 PM PST by afraidfortherepublic
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To: Dr. Sivana

I like to post satire as though it’s real just to see how long it takes for people to catch on. :)


23 posted on 01/24/2014 4:35:20 PM PST by EveningStar
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To: EveningStar
Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

"Where the hell is my horse, man?"

24 posted on 01/24/2014 4:37:15 PM PST by Yaelle
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To: afraidfortherepublic; Perseverando

See post #23. :)


25 posted on 01/24/2014 4:37:41 PM PST by EveningStar
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To: EveningStar

26 posted on 01/24/2014 4:39:08 PM PST by mylife (Ted Cruz understands the law, and he does not fear the unlawful.)
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To: dfwgator

I heard about these “brand names” way back when......from my buddy “Dave”.


27 posted on 01/24/2014 4:39:10 PM PST by Howie66 (Molon Labe, Traitors!)
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To: Yaelle

28 posted on 01/24/2014 4:40:50 PM PST by mylife (Ted Cruz understands the law, and he does not fear the unlawful.)
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To: lee martell
But are they properly fat in the middle or do they have a uniform x-section?

Come with a clip?

Directions for use from the 1st choomer?

29 posted on 01/24/2014 4:41:15 PM PST by Paladin2
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To: mountainlion

I remember those days, very well.

Our “C-Rats”, then “K Rats” came with those little mini packs (4 cigs) if I remember correctly.... We would trade the KOOLS and SALEMS to the guys that wanted them for the MARLBOROS.


30 posted on 01/24/2014 4:42:36 PM PST by Howie66 (Molon Labe, Traitors!)
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To: mylife

In “Weeds”, the brand names were Puff Dragons and Clefs, the second of which was for the black community.


31 posted on 01/24/2014 4:46:05 PM PST by Publius ("Who is John Galt?" by Billthedrill and Publius now available at Amazon.)
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To: Perseverando

The way that Obama Regime, the Media and their Commie supporters are taking this country down the road to ruin, is this really that far from reality?

Seriously.


32 posted on 01/24/2014 4:46:43 PM PST by Howie66 (Molon Labe, Traitors!)
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To: Howie66
Obama and his fellow "dims" want marijuana legalized because (my theory):

"Smoking dope makes you stupid and then you vote democrat."


33 posted on 01/24/2014 5:02:37 PM PST by Perseverando (Obamanation: It's ALL about PEOPLE CONTROL!)
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To: Dr. Sivana

Considering just its name:

Abril = April

Uno = First

Pretty obviously a put-on site.


34 posted on 01/24/2014 5:12:13 PM PST by Bob
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To: Perseverando

I used to be a democrat. There may be something to your theory.


35 posted on 01/24/2014 5:30:30 PM PST by Howie66 (Molon Labe, Traitors!)
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To: Yaelle

https://archive.org/details/tobacco_qja84e00

Ads like these remind me of how much I enjoyed smoking!

...Especially that first cigarette with coffee in the morning.


36 posted on 01/24/2014 5:50:41 PM PST by golux
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To: EveningStar

e-joints.

is there such a thing?


37 posted on 01/24/2014 5:51:52 PM PST by RockyTx
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To: RockyTx
is there such a thing?

Yes

38 posted on 01/24/2014 5:52:41 PM PST by Cementjungle
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To: Publius

Probably because many of those who previously called for keeping the war on drugs in full force would, for various reasons, consider the opinion of the tobacco companies invaluable. Conservatives, to a very large extent rightly so to be sure, often view tobacco companies as among the foremost politically persecuted companies out there.


39 posted on 01/24/2014 6:02:24 PM PST by freedom462
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To: EveningStar

Ain’t gonna happen.

Marijuana loses potency once it is ground up. No pot smoker is gonna buy pot that was ground up & made into cigarettes weeks ago.

Freshness is everything.


40 posted on 01/24/2014 6:11:09 PM PST by Mister Da (The mark of a wise man is not what he knows, but what he knows he doesn't know!)
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To: EveningStar

Ain’t gonna happen.

Marijuana loses potency once it is ground up. No pot smoker is gonna buy pot that was ground up & made into cigarettes weeks ago.

Freshness is everything.


41 posted on 01/24/2014 6:11:43 PM PST by Mister Da (The mark of a wise man is not what he knows, but what he knows he doesn't know!)
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To: EveningStar
This no doubt caused a few drug warriors to reach for a drink! I know it's a parody, but I never understood why people think Big Tobacco would get involved in the marijuana industry.

Local Mom & Pop grow operations can supply all the weed anyone could ever smoke. Big Tobacco would also be subject to a state's regulation of the product. Good luck selling them in a CO pot shop.

42 posted on 01/24/2014 6:25:40 PM PST by Ken H (What happens on the internet, stays on the internet.)
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To: EveningStar
The companion brand in the designer package.


43 posted on 01/24/2014 9:33:44 PM PST by clearcarbon
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To: Howie66

“Virgina Fatties”


44 posted on 01/24/2014 10:05:00 PM PST by Organic Panic
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To: mylife

Denver, Whine stoned liberals.


45 posted on 01/25/2014 6:28:04 AM PST by mountainlion (Live well for those that did not make it back.)
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To: mountainlion
LOL!!!

♫ Like a whine stone cowboy...♪

46 posted on 01/25/2014 6:44:14 AM PST by mylife (Ted Cruz understands the law, and he does not fear the unlawful.)
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