Posted on 01/29/2014 7:57:10 AM PST by shove_it
Well, the Japanese have done it again. Apparently this tech-laden bra made by the lingerie company Ravijour will only unhook for “true love.”
Stealth Clothing Averts Government Snoopers: Photos
The “True Love Tester” bra can’t be masterfully unhooked by some skeevy player who hit on the wearer at a club. No, this bra only comes undone when sensors embedded inside it that are connected wirelessly to a smartphone app detect a particular heart rate (video, safe for work).
According to the Victoria’s Secret-like company that made the bra, Ravijour, a particular heart rate over time indicates “love.” And what do you know, they even have a graph comparing the effects of jogging, shopping, eating spicy food and watching a horror movie with “flirting” and “surprise gift” on a lady’s heart. What better way to acknowledge being “in love” than having your glittery bra fly open?
BuzzFeed’s Rachel Zarrell put the whole thing into a series of awesome GIFs to illustrate the ridiculousness of it all. Ravijour’s slogan is “We do anything for women.” Apparently they do anything to free the girls, too.
Bra Dryer Gets Delicates Ready Fast
Might not want to wear this thing around in public, though. The dude-designed bra cups pop open pretty dramatically.
Available when in the bro-bra model ??!
Paging Kramer
Neat.
Any nation that can build a toilet that requires an Intel processor can certainly build a bra that requires one.
maybe
if she raises the heart rate of a metrosexual like pajama boy for 30 seconds
Here’s the money quote: “Might not want to wear this thing around in public, though. The dude-designed bra cups pop open pretty dramatically.”
“Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world. … Except that’s not what he said: he distinctly said ‘To Blave,’ which we all know means ‘to bluff.’ So you’re probably playing cards, and he cheated …”
ping,ping
Always good to keep abreast of the latest technological developments.
Velcro is the way to go.
Why? Say you’re getting intimate with a woman uh, you don’t want her fumbling and struggling back there. I think we’ve all experienced that.
Will this bra short circuit if the woman wearer of the bra begins to lactate when she hears a baby cry in a supermarket?
“Clean up on Aisle Six.”
Beat me to it!
Have fun stormin’ the castle, boys!
Ha. Get that through TSA without any extra scrutiny.
COMPUTER Good evening, Arnold. I’ve been looking forward to your arrival so very much.
RIMMER How do you know my name?
COMPUTER My name is Cassandra. I am a computer with the ability to predict the future with an accuracy rating of 100%. Bless you.
[RIMMER frowns in confusion]
RIMMER ‘Bless you’? What do you mean ‘bless you’?
[RIMMER abruptly sneezes]
CASSANDRA You need a tissue; Kris has one in her left-hand pocket. She says “would you like this?”; you say “thanks”.
[Sure enough, KOCHANSKI is in the process of offering a handkerchief to RIMMER]
KOCHANSKI Would you like this?
RIMMER Thanks.
[Both turn and look at the computer with suspicious surprise]
CASSANDRA “Extraordinary”.
KRYTEN Extraordinary.
CASSANDRA “The questions we can ask, it can tell us our future”.
[Ignoring the computer, KOCHANSKI glances towards LISTER and the others to her left]
KOCHANSKI The questions we can ask, it can tell us our future.
[CASSANDRA puts on an obvious accent]
CASSANDRA “But how does it work? The future’s not ‘appened yet”.
[LISTER hesitates and glances around, adopting an air of defiance]
LISTER ...I’m not gonna say that.
CASSANDRA I never said you would.
LISTER But how *does* it work? The future’s not ‘appened yet.
CASSANDRA Although you do.
LISTER Smeg.
RIMMER Let’s ask her a question about the future. A biggie...
LISTER Okay, Cassandra, do we ever get back to Earth? Has the human race survived?
CAT Do I ever find my singing tie-pin?
[LISTER glances at CAT in annoyance, but in the meantime KOCHANSKI has been having second thoughts]
KOCHANSKI Look, do we want to know all this stuff about the future? I mean, do we want to know, for example, how and when we die?
RIMMER Kris is right. Something like that could mess your life up forever. Cassandra, I have a question.
CASSANDRA I know, Arnold, because I know the rest of this conversation. Arnold So, what’s the answer?
CASSANDRA He chokes to death, aged one-hundred and eighty-one, trying to remove a bra with his teeth.
[LISTER glances at RIMMER and CASSANDRA questioningly]
LISTER What was the question?
RIMMER I just asked how you died.
[LISTER stares hard at RIMMER]
LISTER You what? I didn’t want to know that!
[Suddenly he rounds on CASSANDRA]
LISTER Who’s bra? CAT A hundred and eighty-one? Probably your own!
LISTER Come on, no. Taking a bra off with m’ teeth, aged one-hundred and eighty-one. That’s a hell of a sexy way to go!
KRYTEN So long as the teeth are in your mouth at the time, sir.
Well, that was worth the price of admission...
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.